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What do you do when strangers give you unsolicited advice "fix" your avatar?


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There's a current TP glitch where parts don't rezz for others. I get this a lot. In fact I re-attach after every tp. I don't mind being told if something isnt right and a quick rebake usually fixes it.

From the other side of this, one day I told a woman her feet were invisible. She "saw them ok", and I dont think she got it at all, and the whole time she was there she had no feet. Oh well.

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Well... "f** off" and block. 🙂

I was quickly shopping this weekend, only going to stores to test a demo, buy and out again. Suddenly another lady start to IM me with "fix your alpha, I can see your legs", "Hide your Maitreya f

I'd say it depends on the tone. If a stranger messaged me out of the blue with "Fix your alpha, I can see your legs" or "Hide your Maitreya feet", I would assume that they missed their etiquette lesso

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i was hoping thought that this was gunna be about the other person saying o.m.g ! why ever are you wearing t.h.o.s.e shoes with that outfit !!

😸

p.s  sometimes people tell us when we are glitching on their screen. I just says thanks for telling me. They usual go you welcome! and I do the refresh thing and carry on doing whatever I am doing

 

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In the places I usually hang out it's more or less a fun thing to point out rez issues, as publicly as possible. ("Hey, your tail appears to be rather erect" or "So a part of your butt seems to be missing") but I've never actually had a stranger do it.

I think I'd just refresh my attachments and go "thanks" with as little enthusiasm as possible.

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I've told this one before . . .

A few years ago I was at a club, minding my own business when a nearby woman told me I needed to get a mesh avatar and give myself a makeover. She even offered to help me.  I replied that I was quite happy the way I was but she insisted I needed to 'upgrade' to a mesh avatar. She had a mesh avatar herself, with perfectly fitting clothes but her big downfall was a badly unrealistic shape, with huge hips and a tiny waist! 

I never did 'upgrade' to a mesh avatar, I'm still happy with my system one that works well for me, probably because I'm quite skinny and not very curvy.  Sometimes people mistake me for mesh, I've even been asked what body I'm using! 

 

Edited by Conifer Dada
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A slight subject swerve, but:

Him: (after a brief chat full of him over emoting)..."Are you training?"

Me: "Training?"

Him:"To emote?"

Him:"I have a notecard you might find useful, let me know when you've read it"

Him: (2 minutes later) "Have you read it?"

Me: (Dancing with another guy) "I'm busy right now"

Edited by BelindaN
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- your AO is moving was too fast 

-Why you don t use HD nipples?

-why you don t turn full glossy on body?-on all those questions i answer "because i like it as it is now?@after that quastion people get crazy))

normal thing were when one girl told me that i forgot to attach my nails or when  i accidentally atatched wrong version of shoes:)

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Yeah, like a lot of people it would really depend on the nature of the unsolicited advice. If I'd forgotten to wear/detach an attachment, part of my avatar was missing, or my shape was messed up for others in such a way that could be fixed with a skeleton reset, I think I'd appreciate the heads-up. I make my avatar to be seen, and if people aren't seeing it correctly I'd like to fix that.

On the other hand, if someone didn't like how I dressed, or how I'd put together my avatar and had nothing constructive to say I imagine I'd be less appreciative.

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Years ago, before mesh bodies, there was a glitch that you would appear naked to others but clothed to yourself. I teleported into a nightclub and encountered a club manager. She sent me a pic of what she was seeing. The whole front of my lovely gown was missing! She proceeded to tell me that I wasn’t dressed appropriately for the club. I sent her a pic showing myself fully clothed and what I was seeing. I make sure to alpha out my bits now. 

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32 minutes ago, Marisa Starbrook said:

Years ago, before mesh bodies, there was a glitch that you would appear naked to others but clothed to yourself. I teleported into a nightclub and encountered a club manager. She sent me a pic of what she was seeing. The whole front of my lovely gown was missing! She proceeded to tell me that I wasn’t dressed appropriately for the club. I sent her a pic showing myself fully clothed and what I was seeing. I make sure to alpha out my bits now. 

I had that at a recent TPV meeting wearing meshed body, head and clothes. One of the Lindens saw me as naked from 3 meters away.  My clothes only became visible when they cammed in closer. Glitches still happen!

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I'd say thank you for letting me know. Then I'll do a refresh attachments because I know myself that oftentimes things can drop off during teleport but I won't be aware of it because I look normal on my screen. I see this much the same as someone politely telling me I have spinach between my teeth in RL. I wouldn't want to go around flashing my green smile at people so I ALWAYS appreciate a heads up.

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I would say: “Thank you. SL sometimes dresses me like a blind valet with passive aggressive fashion sense.” Or...

”Thank you. I’m beta-testing a new viewer that only allows avatars with grace and intelligence to see me correctly. It seems to be working perfectly.”

or, if I was in my Lucy avatar: “Thank you dear. When I first res in-world I like a full body massage with body powder. When I dress, I like passive seductive outfits that say “you bet I will, but not with you.” And when I leave for my virtual office I like my perfume to be applied by a submissive servant using butterfly kisses and hugs. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow morning but, for now... won’t you be a good little pet and fetch me some tea.”

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On 2/22/2021 at 10:24 AM, Paul Hexem said:

If I get an IM like that, I'll rebake and refresh attachments. If they were right, fix it. If they were wrong, ignore it. Then move on, either way. That's all anyone needs to do. Don't know why everybody insists on making these things into big issues.

I'm currently NOT a BOM avatar as my human because I find the BOM skins not as pleasing to me in their look as the applier skins, plus the Dinkie I prefer is not BOM in this mod version for Dinkies and this non-BOM Dinkie mod IS SOOOOOO ME AND I LOVE IT, so I don't know if I will ever be BOM as a Dinkie, not until I talk with the creator of the Dinkie mod anyhow.  So, I am mostly non-BOM and don't need a rebake, so I'd say "thanks, I will check it out later".   I give a quick response with a will check it out later because I, just like Marianne, in her OP says, I just want a quick in, buy and out.  If I'm in for DEMOS, I'd still give the same answer as I'm busy looking at DEMOS right now and with shopping I don't care how I look, I care that I get my demos or what I am there to buy.  I will go in a nightgown and robe if I feel like it.  Plus, I usually park myself in a corner somewhere out of the way and then click 'show friends only'.  I'm busy when I'm shopping and don't want to be bothered.  

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18 hours ago, Lindal Kidd said:

Like Sorciaa, I want to know if someone's not seeing me correctly.  When I see someone who (might) have an appearance issue, though, I always say something like, "Excuse me, but in my viewer, your XXXX appears YYYY".  Because the problem could be me, not them, I always qualify my comment with "in my viewer, or "on my screen".

I've found that this is the best way to deal with these situations. It's better to know which, if any, are having issues so those issues can be addressed and not cause even worse issues further down the line. Especially when dealing with bake fails!

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22 hours ago, Yukiko Yeshto said:

I'd say it depends on the tone. If a stranger messaged me out of the blue with "Fix your alpha, I can see your legs" or "Hide your Maitreya feet", I would assume that they missed their etiquette lessons :D

 

Exactly my thoughts.

 

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For me it depends what they mean. If they tell me something's wrong, like part of me isn't rezzing, or I have splayed fingers or something like that, I'll try to fix it (refresh attachments, re-start my AO or whatever). Often, it's not possible to see that sort of thing on yourself so the only way to know if something needs fixing is when they tell you.

But if someone tries to tell me I'm "too fat" or "too manly" or I should wear something "more revealing" or something of that sort, they can take a long walk off a short pier, and I'll tell them so (with language that wouldn't be allowed here). 

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@Marianne Little If they persist, I switch to one of my "Fuglies" -- avatars specifically designed to look, well, fugly.  I've designed a few myself, and there are plenty on the Marketplace.  Speaking of which, that's where I do my shopping, so I don't need to experience what happened to you in the first place.  If push comes to shove, I'll feign embarrassment and put a paper bag over my head.  Then, a few moments later, I click the bag, it catches on fire, with a screaming sound loop to boot.  Naturally I then run around frantically, yelling about needing a glass of water.  God, I love that avi.  😄 

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I've only ever had the ones where they are warning me that part of my body or outfit is missing and I'm grateful for those. I'd hate to think that I was innocently dancing in some G-rated club with no pants on, or that my head was missing. 

 

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  • 4 weeks later...

if it looks fine to me on my screen, then I don't care.. and given my patience with people in general and the egos I see, depending on -how- the advice is said to me.. (especially rapidly) i'm really not above giving the same right back anymore.. I would tell him/her that their hair does not match their outfits, they're nails are too short or too long, and they have bad teeth. 

 

eh

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On 2/22/2021 at 5:55 AM, Marianne Little said:

I was quickly shopping this weekend, only going to stores to test a demo, buy and out again.

Suddenly another lady start to IM me with "fix your alpha, I can see your legs", "Hide your Maitreya feet" and 6-8 other IMs with advice rapidly.

I look at my screen and see myself as I should. I wear shoes for Maitreya feet and the correct feet. My legs are alpha'ed out.

I was not going to stay. If I were in a concert or some social place, I would teleport out and try to investigate if more than one see me like this.

But not when shopping. I am in and out of stores and I don't care if others rez for me, or how they look.

Besides, how am I supposed to fix myself when all I see is correct? Should I try to attach and detach things, unpack a new Maitreya body, teleport out in shame? And do I owe a total stranger that has seen me for 3 minutes a thanks? I was irritated, because who say it is me who need to fix it, it can just as well be her connection.

It was not just an IM, but when I did not reply, she continued to tell me how I should fix myself. I muted her, bought what I came for, and went on shopping.

Next time derender her clothes then take a snapshot and send it to her.

Edited by Finite
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