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Second Life families issues.


DoctorKatherine1
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I see lot of people making family names but don't show any values in them and treat their members like nothing. 

Imma say second life family are consider something special and unique. They are like Houses with a name, sigil, and code they go by.

So why is it that most people make families but neglect those who expect love and care from them? 

What's the purpose of having a last name if you not gonna expand it or use it properly? 

What's the purpose of caring for someone but then ignore them while walking out of their life by disappearing?

I'm saying base on experience where mostly <Redacted>members adopt little ones and people where they been neglected, ignored, or just straight up removed for no reason. Does anyone have clue why people do that? It kinda sicken me how anyone would abandon another when they expected love and common interest.

 

 

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14 hours ago, DoctorKatherine1 said:

I see lot of people making family names but don't show any values in them and treat their members like nothing. 

Imma say second life family are consider something special and unique. They are like Houses with a name, sigil, and code they go by.

So why is it that most people make families but neglect those who expect love and care from them? 

What's the purpose of having a last name if you not gonna expand it or use it properly? 

What's the purpose of caring for someone but then ignore them while walking out of their life by disappearing?

I'm saying base on experience where mostly <Redacted> members adopt little ones and people where they been neglected, ignored, or just straight up removed for no reason. Does anyone have clue why people do that? It kinda sicken me how anyone would abandon another when they expected love and common interest.

 

 

My guess?  Some people who choose family RP may do so because they didn't have a very good RL experience with family and therefore, have no concept of how a healthy family dynamic works.  Also, to some people, that's all it is, RP.  They wouldn't have any actually feeling about the other players.  You're just another actor in the scene.

I have a great family.  Very loving and caring so it's not something I need from SL.  A family relationship is just like any other relationship here.  You really have no idea who is behind that avatar nor how they view others, as actors or as genuine people with feelings.

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5 minutes ago, RowanMinx said:

My guess?  Some people who choose family RP may do so because they didn't have a very good RL experience with family and therefore, have no concept of how a healthy family dynamic works.  Also, to some people, that's all it is, RP.  They wouldn't have any actually feeling about the other players.  You're just another actor in the scene.

I have a great family.  Very loving and caring so it's not something I need from SL.  A family relationship is just like any other relationship here.  You really have no idea who is behind that avatar nor how they view others, as actors or as genuine people with feelings.

I understand that but why make a family in the first place if you're not gonna commit to it? That's issue I've been seeing because most people come to Second life to escape their harsh reality to have something better but instead get treated the same all over again. 

Edited by DoctorKatherine1
grammar.
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28 minutes ago, DoctorKatherine1 said:

I understand that but why make a family in the first place if you're not gonna commit to it? That's issue I've been seeing because most people come to Second life to escape their harsh reality to have something better but instead get treated the same all over again. 

Never expect anything from anyone.  Everyone is here for their own reasons and you will probably never know what those are.  Becoming too emotionally invested,  especially with someone you haven't known for years, is a recipe for disaster.  

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I think the best families are the ones that just kinda grow randomly, aren't planned. Things just fall into place, naturally.

 

I'd imagine the ones that don't care/have a lot of issues are ones that were found via the equivalent of a Craigslist ad, lmao. 

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14 hours ago, DoctorKatherine1 said:

I see lot of people making family names but don't show any values in them and treat their members like nothing. 

Imma say second life family are consider something special and unique. They are like Houses with a name, sigil, and code they go by.

So why is it that most people make families but neglect those who expect love and care from them? 

What's the purpose of having a last name if you not gonna expand it or use it properly? 

What's the purpose of caring for someone but then ignore them while walking out of their life by disappearing?

I'm saying base on experience where mostly <Redacted> members adopt little ones and people where they been neglected, ignored, or just straight up removed for no reason. Does anyone have clue why people do that? It kinda sicken me how anyone would abandon another when they expected love and common interest.

and where you get the idea yóur view is the only good one?This is SL.. everybody can create groups, families and whatever in the way théy want.
Who says they have to be sticky as old glue or join all time together when they are online?
Your line about the group in the end is out of order, you can't name and shame here.
And never forget : the little ones and all others... are adults in real...nobody is neglected. Love and care comes from two sides.. and people who only expect to gét it, don't belong in families, only takers will kill a group ..and another time.. all are adults.

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10 hours ago, Alwin Alcott said:

and where you get the idea yóur view is the only good one?This is SL.. everybody can create groups, families and whatever in the way théy want.
Who says they have to be sticky as old glue or join all time together when they are online?
Your line about the group in the end is out of order, you can't name and shame here.
And never forget : the little ones and all others... are adults in real...nobody is neglected. Love and care comes from two sides.. and people who only expect to gét it, don't belong in families, only takers will kill a group ..and another time.. all are adults.

It's clear you probably never been in a big family before or know me through second life so your opinion is noted. I think you misunderstood my thinking because trust is a 50/50 effort because both side have to be there for each other. And you're wrong in so many ways adults or not it's the connection and bond we formed. I understand they are adults but once you start up a family among SL you'll understand it better. Many of <Redacted> members I know personally and we each share our personal real life story about how we came to be and where we came from. I guess you never had that type of connections but once you do you'll see it.

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1 hour ago, nyahrou said:

I think the best families are the ones that just kinda grow randomly, aren't planned. Things just fall into place, naturally.

 

I'd imagine the ones that don't care/have a lot of issues are ones that were found via the equivalent of a Craigslist ad, lmao. 

That's how I started my family. Just made good connection and been together for about 3 years now and we're still growing.

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13 hours ago, RowanMinx said:

Never expect anything from anyone.  Everyone is here for their own reasons and you will probably never know what those are.  Becoming too emotionally invested,  especially with someone you haven't known for years, is a recipe for disaster.  

I actually know them personally and we been together for 3 years. I guess we have trust and loyalty to each other to the point we are consider family in some ways. <Redacted> are actually growing to the point we have about 4 cousin branches. so total I believe like 130 something.

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10 hours ago, DoctorKatherine1 said:

It's clear you probably never been in a big family before or know me through second life so your opinion is noted. I think you misunderstood my thinking because trust is a 50/50 effort because both side have to be there for each other. And you're wrong in so many ways adults or not it's the connection and bond we formed. I understand they are adults but once you start up a family among SL you'll understand it better. Many of <Redacted> members I know personally and we each share our personal real life story about how we came to be and where we came from. I guess you never had that type of connections but once you do you'll see it.

typical... want a discussion but no other opinions allowed  .. get out of your box and try again.
You know nothing about my family experience.

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Is this a roleplay family or an actual OOC family built via second life? Im genuinely confused given the level of emotional commitment you're seeking.

Both are totally valid, but it's common for people to drop in and out of Roleplay situations based on interest level at the time or RL commitments. 

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41 minutes ago, Alwin Alcott said:

typical... want a discussion but no other opinions allowed  .. get out of your box and try again.
You know nothing about my family experience.

You are able to speak freely but you acting aggressively so only fair to act defensively.  Action causes by a reaction dear.

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19 minutes ago, Bitterthorn said:

Is this a roleplay family or an actual OOC family built via second life? Im genuinely confused given the level of emotional commitment you're seeking.

Both are totally valid, but it's common for people to drop in and out of Roleplay situations based on interest level at the time or RL commitments. 

Good question. Honestly at first it’s a roleplay family where we only hang when we see each other online until we decide to make a discord then begin talking more and more. I guess it became Roleplay to OOC without knowing because of the connection we have made. 

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5 minutes ago, DoctorKatherine1 said:

Good question. Honestly at first it’s a roleplay family where we only hang when we see each other online until we decide to make a discord then begin talking more and more. I guess it became Roleplay to OOC without knowing because of the connection we have made. 

But maybe it's still just RP for some.  It actually seems more normal with that many people, that you would have people not getting along with others.  That's how a lot of extended families are in RL.

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Just now, RowanMinx said:

But maybe it's still just RP for some.  It actually seems more normal with that many people, that you would have people not getting along with others.  That's how a lot of extended families are in RL.

I guess experience differ depends who you are with. 

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2 minutes ago, DoctorKatherine1 said:

I guess experience differ depends who you are with. 

Well, it's rather naive to think with 130 random strangers that you would all get along and treat SL family life in the same way.  

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Hello!

I’ll admit, I’m a touch confused by what you’re trying to argue here. You say you don’t understand why people don’t value a ‘family commitment,’ and when others try to voice their opinions, you react defensively and just brush them off? 

I’m not entirely sure what point you’re hoping to make. You’ve bounced from, ‘Oh nobody values this or that,’ to, ‘Yall wouldn’t understand, MY family is like this.’

I don’t find it fair to ignore their opinions simply because you assume they’ve never experienced what you’ve experienced. Regardless, best of luck in your family. 

Much love!

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1 minute ago, Pumpkin Wumpkins said:

Hello!

I’ll admit, I’m a touch confused by what you’re trying to argue here. You say you don’t understand why people don’t value a ‘family commitment,’ and when others try to voice their opinions, you react defensively and just brush them off? 

I’m not entirely sure what point you’re hoping to make. You’ve bounced from, ‘Oh nobody values this or that,’ to, ‘Yall wouldn’t understand, MY family is like this.’

I don’t find it fair to ignore their opinions simply because you assume they’ve never experienced what you’ve experienced. Regardless, best of luck in your family. 

Much love!

My point is mostly why do people care to leave people behind when others actually love them when they are started out trusting them. Sorry for the confusion. 💜

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To commenters I apologize if I act defensively the point I’m asking is why leaving the people behind who actually adore them.

 

I understand someone people have different interest or treat things as rp that comes and goes but using my family as example that never once have anyone left because they were uninterested or didn’t care because they enjoy everything they have among my family. Maybe due to fact we have bonds and common interest?
 

so my main point again is what makes people decide to leave someone who consider family to them?
 


 

 

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8 minutes ago, DoctorKatherine1 said:

so my main point again is what makes people decide to leave someone who consider family to them?

Because like any relationship in sl or rl, not everybody has the same feelings/committment/love [add other nouns] as another.  Your whole post is truly confusing to me.  

examples; that friend you make who IMs you the second you log in wanting/demanding attention when all you want to do it escape rl for a bit of peace or those people who are madly in love with their sl soulmate and partner within 3 days of meeting but the other side just wanted a quick bunk up and ghosts them on day 4.  In your scenario you seem to have different expectations to the other party.  They might be family to you but to them you are just someone they enjoyed roleplaying family with for a while and now something else has their attention.  

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1 minute ago, Cindy Evanier said:

Because like any relationship in sl or rl, not everybody has the same feelings/committment/love [add other nouns] as another.  Your whole post is truly confusing to me.  

examples; that friend you make who IMs you the second you log in wanting/demanding attention when all you want to do it escape rl for a bit of peace or those people who are madly in love with their sl soulmate and partner within 3 days of meeting but the other side just wanted a quick bunk up and ghosts them on day 4.  In your scenario you seem to have different expectations to the other party.  They might be family to you but to them you are just someone they enjoyed roleplaying family with for a while and now something else has their attention.  

I see your point. First time doing these forums and understand not everyone understand my point of views on things so I want see how things are different outside of the bubble.

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14 hours ago, DoctorKatherine1 said:

I see lot of people making family names but don't show any values in them and treat their members like nothing. 

Imma say second life family are consider something special and unique. They are like Houses with a name, sigil, and code they go by.

So why is it that most people make families but neglect those who expect love and care from them? 

What's the purpose of having a last name if you not gonna expand it or use it properly? 

What's the purpose of caring for someone but then ignore them while walking out of their life by disappearing?

I'm saying base on experience where mostly <Redacted> members adopt little ones and people where they been neglected, ignored, or just straight up removed for no reason. Does anyone have clue why people do that? It kinda sicken me how anyone would abandon another when they expected love and common interest.

 

 

You DO realise it's "make believe", don't you? 🤔

 

 

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Just now, DoctorKatherine1 said:

Yes I do but some people have a persona and treat second life as..well..literal second life. Which isn't my place to judge to them on.

That "persona" 😁 can change in an instant.  Reality check: there's a high probability that your "fam" members run about in other circles with ALTs living other lifestyles too, viewing this as just another standard run if the mill "RP fam"

Don't get so needlessly attached to a pretend family, just enjoy the lighter side of it.

 

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