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You only partner up with someone...Yes, how must she/he be?


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I'm talking about an official partnership confirmed by Linden and visible in your profile. At what point do you say "yes"? And when do you say "no"? If anyone now thinks: "He must be definitely not like you, Doc!" No problem. That's ok. lol As for my expectations. Well,  I meet a lady online. We married in real life and it ended in a disaster. So it's hard to imagine for me that I partner with someone online again.

Edited by Doc Carling
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I am one of those who keep RL and SL separate, so for me an SL partnership is an exclusive SL thing, Basically it has to be something that I think will enhance my SL experience. That person would need to be someone who shares my SL and RL separate philosophy. I have only done it twice, for different reasons each time. Neither time worked out like I would have hoped, 

Edited by Talligurl
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That's probably the main reason why SL is a graveyard of broken hearts. People head over heels in virtual love partner up  only to notice a short time later that they don't match at all. I say virtual love, because they aren't in love with a real person,  only with a computer generated graphic and the legend and lies that the owner of this graphic tells them.

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I've only partnered once, back in 2007.  We're still partnered, and we got married RL in 2009. That said, it's likely we're more outliers than the standard experience.

I think what Talligurl said about it being something that enhances one's SL experience is key, as well as knowing it may not work out.  It's kind of like RL in that regard, so go in with your eyes open.

Edited by Ajay McDowwll
Spaces between words are useful.
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2 hours ago, Doc Carling said:

That's probably the main reason why SL is a graveyard of broken hearts. People head over heels in virtual love partner up  only to notice a short time later that they don't match at all. I say virtual love, because they aren't in love with a real person,  only with a computer generated graphic and the legend and lies that the owner of this graphic tells them.

Not matching isnt the only issue. The person I match the best with had RL issues that caused him to not be able to get on at the same times I could get on.

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10 minutes ago, Talligurl said:

The person I match the best with had RL issues that caused him to not be able to get on at the same times I could get on.

That's sad. I think the different time zones are also a relationship killer.

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Madison and I have been together since 2011 but we are not officially "partnered" on our profiles, for a number of reasons. For quite a few years Madi was officially partnered with her RL husband's avatar, but he had long since gotten bored of SL before I met her. She removed him eventually, but we haven't bothered with an official partnership ourselves and we're both happy "living in sin", so to speak.

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 1/12/2021 at 8:03 AM, Doc Carling said:

That's probably the main reason why SL is a graveyard of broken hearts. People head over heels in virtual love partner up  only to notice a short time later that they don't match at all. I say virtual love, because they aren't in love with a real person,  only with a computer generated graphic and the legend and lies that the owner of this graphic tells them.

Works for me

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Love is a great mystery, Doc, but it's also said that love is a long, long road.  I don't think there is any formula as to when or how other than perhaps you know they may add something to your life.

Even real life relationships are a risk.  My two long-term real life relationships were a bomb for the most part and I wish they had never happened.  The first one was a drug dealer and I did not know it being naive.  He was a musician with odd hours but I never saw him do drugs.  He was doing drugs late through the night while I was sleeping and selling them too.   I find out by getting a call to bail him out of jail.  The drugs sapped his motivation and he was essentially a bum during the day.  I was involved in a relationship that was a lie.  The second one was not drugs that killed it but lies too, serious lies.  I wished I could have lived in my parents time when couples just seem to get it and be happier.  Today people are restless and oft times just wandering without direction and take love for granted especially in California as opposed to other parts of the world.  My parents and grandparents were not like this and they mated for life and it worked.  I think my Mom and Dad had honesty and they truly enjoyed just being together.  Plus they both had a great sense of humor.  

So, perhaps if someone truly adds to your life and makes it more fulfilling, love whether real life or Second Life, it just may be worth the risk.  If someone is making you feel like you live on a roller coaster with your emotions, perhaps it's time to walk away.  I guess I'm saying, think constructive versus destructive.  

Edited by FairreLilette
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  • 2 weeks later...

I partnered after we had an SL wedding ohhh.. 8 or 9 years ago? We did the whole family RP thing and it was cute. We became good friends in RL, despite the distance. He hasn’t played SL in 4 years or so, but I’ve not unpartnered him because I haven’t found a reason to. 

My important thing when it came to it was honestly.. can I spend a significant amount of time with this person without being annoyed? Is conversation understood to be a two-way street with active listening? Are our expectations the same? Etc. Much the same questions I ask myself when going into any relationship - professional, friendship, or otherwise. 

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6 hours ago, Extrude Ragu said:

I don't think the partnership box in SL really has the gravity OP seems to think it has

For some of us, it very much does hold a significant amount of gravity. (not that I expect the majority of sl holds the same opinion, of course)

The problem with this only arises when people of different sides of that fence try and mingle cohesively. They often end up in a tussle over who's right and who's not on the matter, both quite determined to be the former and not the latter. 

 

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  • 1 month later...

"Do they have a pulse and L$10?" 😍

Just joking.

For me the partner field is just another useless field that I would never use.
I don't see the point of formalising a partnership in a virtual world and if I did, I could think of much better ways of doing it.

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In the booming period around 2007-2009 it could be a useful tool to keep the droves of only sex seeking noobs away, but for the rest SL partnering is nothing official, like a RL marriage.
So pretty meaningless IMHO.

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I was partners with a wonderful lady for over 9 years. I'd be with her now if she hadn't passed away unexpectedly from a heart attack. Would I partner again? Maybe, but they'd have to be somebody who would want that RL too. I don't do virtual only relationships. Learned that lesson the hard way long ago.

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