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Leaving a Roleplay Sim - List of Don'ts


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When leaving a Roleplay Sim, just leave. DO NOT...

  • Say goodbye to everyone in a group or discord chat - the owners and admins will hate you for it.
  • Tell anyone but a close friend why you are leaving if it has anything to do with your experience on the Sim. it does not matter if you were wronged there, don't tell anyone or the owners and admins will demonize you forever if they find out.
  • Tell anyone where you are going. This is the absolutely worst thing you can do, and letting people, even individual friends on the sim in private IM, know you are going to another sim or building one of your own, if an admin or owner hears of it, will blacklist you FOREVER. DON'T DO IT, even if the reason you are leaving is totally their fault and due to really bad sim management or admin behavior.

ย 

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4 hours ago, Borelek said:

ย 

  • Tell anyone where you are going. This is the absolutely worst thing you can do, and letting people, even individual friends on the sim in private IM, know you are going to another sim or building one of your own, if an admin or owner hears of it, will blacklist you FOREVER. DON'T DO IT, even if the reason you are leaving is totally their fault and due to really bad sim management or admin behavior.

ย 

I get the core of what you are saying here; it sucks when someone leaving a community tries to make drama on their way out. I've seen that happen plenty of times. But... if someone leaves a community I am in and they tell individual friends, in private, where they have gone... that's not making drama. That's just someone talking to their friends. If you left a sim for mismanagement reasons why would it matter if the admins blacklist you? You're not going back.

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8 hours ago, Borelek said:

Say goodbye to everyone in a group or discord chat - the owners and admins will hate you for it.

ย  ย If you're leaving the sim though, why does it matter if the admins hate you for it? If you've made friends and acquaintances there, it would be rude not to say good bye - though I'd probably not do it in such a public manner, myself.

8 hours ago, Borelek said:

Tell anyone but a close friend why you are leaving if it has anything to do with your experience on the Sim. it does not matter if you were wronged there, don't tell anyone or the owners and admins will demonize you forever if they find out.

ย  ย Again, you seem to think that it matters what sim owners and admins think of you - if you're leaving, that doesn't really matter. You trying to tell people that they shouldn't speak up if they've been wronged gives off some pretty awkward vibes, you know.ย 

8 hours ago, Borelek said:

Tell anyone where you are going. This is the absolutely worst thing you can do, and letting people, even individual friends on the sim in private IM, know you are going to another sim or building one of your own, if an admin or owner hears of it, will blacklist you FOREVER. DON'T DO IT, even if the reason you are leaving is totally their fault and due to really bad sim management or admin behavior.

ย  ย Again, if I've made friends through RP I'll often talk to them outside of the RP as well; if I find another RP location that's fun or interesting, why wouldn't I tell my friends about it?

ย  ย A common complaint that pops up about RP sims in SL is how the owners try to control people, tell them what they should do both IC and OOC, and you're doing just that right here, just throwing it out at no one in particular like a frustrated wannabe-dictator who think that you're entitled only to praise and to never be criticized. More often than not, people who take their RP sims that route end up ruling over a dead sim with such a bad reputation that it's never getting back on its feet again.

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They don't stop at blacklisting you from their sim. They badmouth you to the larger RP community. I innocently told people I was leaving a sim, not because I had issues with them, but to build my own sim, which had been a decade-long dream of mine. I did not name my sim or say anything about it, butย got slammed by an admin who accused me of advertising. I was not advertising. I was giving a truthful reason, so no one would think I was angry at the sim. The response DID make me angry at them, so they generated the very thing they did not want. I kept it to myself though and did not take vengeance by tattling on them, nor will I name the sim to anyone.

You are not my shrink. Don't lecture me about caring or not caring what people think of me. If you cannot respond respectfully to this honest post of mine, then ignore or unfollow me.

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11 minutes ago, Borelek said:

They don't stop at blacklisting you from their sim. They badmouth you to the larger RP community. I innocently told people I was leaving a sim, not because I had issues with them, but to build my own sim, which had been a decade-long dream of mine. I did not name my sim or say anything about it, butย got slammed by an admin who accused me of advertising. I was not advertising. I was giving a truthful reason, so no one would think I was angry at the sim. The response DID make me angry at them, so they generated the very thing they did not want. I kept it to myself though and did not take vengeance by tattling on them, nor will I name the sim to anyone.

You are not my shrink. Don't lecture me about caring or not caring what people think of me. If you cannot respond respectfully to this honest post of mine, then ignore or unfollow me.

Interestingly enough, I've formed a pretty clear opinion of you based only on what you've said on the forums.

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Not sure why you'd tell anyone anything.ย  It would seem wiser to just do your own thing yet leave the door open in case you decide to return.ย  You're kind of shooting yourself in the foot if you bad mouth an RP region.ย  What purpose does that serve?ย  If friends ask where you've been, you're not obligated to tell them.ย  Seems that would just invite drama.ย  "Just wandering around, checking out other places", " Thinking about building something of my own"

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2 hours ago, Borelek said:

You are not my shrink. Don't lecture me about caring or not caring what people think of me. If you cannot respond respectfully to this honest post of mine, then ignore or unfollow me.

ย  ย First of all, I'm not 'following' you in any capacity.ย 

ย  ย Secondly, this is a forum. If you do not understand what a forum is, perhaps you shouldn't expose yourself to one. In short, it's a place where people may discuss things, in this case related to Second Life; you're in no way entitled to not receiving opposition to your thoughts or ideas here. My responseย to you isn't only intended for you, it's intended for anyone who reads thisย publicย thread.

ย  ย Not agreeing with your views does not equate being disrespectful. Your 'agree with me or be silent'-attitude only serves to reinforce my earlier observation of your nature.ย 

Edited by Orwar
Grammar.
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People should be allowed to be honest with their friends and those who ask about whatever topic-- including any problems they have in a sim. Bad behaviour of sim owners should not be swept under the rug for the sake of their Sim's reputation. That's some crazy missing stair style behavour.ย 

And bad behavor includes things like going nuts on someone leaving to make their own sim that was only telling their friends in private / not advertising it in the group chats.ย 

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54 minutes ago, Bitterthorn said:

People should be allowed to be honest with their friends and those who ask about whatever topic-- including any problems they have in a sim. Bad behaviour of sim owners should not be swept under the rug for the sake of their Sim's reputation. That's some crazy missing stair style behavour.ย 

And bad behavor includes things like going nuts on someone leaving to make their own sim that was only telling their friends in private / not advertising it in the group chats.ย 

Of course people should be and are allowed to tell anyone anything.ย  They just are naive if they don't expect retaliation.ย  Is it how people should respond?ย  Absolutely not but hardly unexpected so you can choose to take that risk or not.ย  What you shouldn't expect is for people to act like adults or how you wish they would.ย  Some people thrive on the drama that surrounds them.ย  It makes them feel relevant.

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If I were a sim owner for an RP sim, I'd actually WANT people to tell me why they leave - it's feedback I can use to improve.
An owner who thinks his/her stuff is perfect and temper tantrums when people go? Not going to touch that with a ten foot pole.

I don't really give a damn about people announcing they're leaving something, be it a rp sim or a forum. If they wanna go, they're free to do so, if they come back later, that's okay.ย 

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Pathetic. Or in other words: perfect content for "#FML Cheezburger" sites.

- - - - -

On a level above the personal whining:

From a story moderation / admin point of view, I definitely encourage players to give a quick note when they quit, instead of simply going quiet and nobody knowing why or for how long.

It doesn't take much, a simple "k, bye, I'm out." is enough.

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I understand there can be many reasons people leave RP sims because if things change and it doesn't suit them anymore for the RP aspect. I would say if people leave let them because its their own choice to stay or not.

Edited by FlameGirlHero
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