When exposed to excess, do you feel a need to...take a break from it all?

[Love Zhaoying]

3 hours ago, FairreLilette said:

without even asking for a dance first and I was not interested in the least.

I like to tell them "Sorry, my dance card is full!" Confuses the young-'uns.

[JanuarySwan]

2 hours ago, Horus Salubrius said:

There are places I avoid now because being randomly propositioned for sex gets boring quick.  "Wow you're hot. let's go f**K !"  (just yesterday)

No, I do not want to have a quickie with you .. I don't even know you !

And the thing is, in SL if any kind of sex or cuddling is gonna work for me then I am going to have get a brain erection first.

I've thought of answering this with a "it's 5k linden per 15 minutes.  My boss is over there so don't mess with me."  And then watch them teleport out of there so fast.  ahahahaha!   I just might do that one of these days!  

As far as Gopi's OP, too much pleasure?  That's never occurred to me that I needed a break from it.  Maybe I'm doing something wrong here?

As far as gambling, I've been to Las Vegas and Atlantic City.  It was not hardly sexual for me at all.  I wanted to win money!  Plus, I went with bf to both those places and we have sex just about everywhere anyways.  

Edited November 20, 2020 by JanuarySwan

[Amina Sopwith]

11 minutes ago, Ceka Cianci said:

Yea, I'll sometimes stop for a few minutes, go get a cup of tea, maybe make a smoothie..

Sometimes ya just have to take a break..

 

Reminds me of the most British sex problem ever to be submitted to Suzi Godson in the Times. (Yes, this is absolutely genuine. Rule Britannia!)

 

 

 

 

[Horus Salubrius]

15 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

worrying that every time a man (or occasionally woman) IMs me, it's with an ulterior motive,

I am so going to IM your brains out the next time I see you online !   😛 

srsly tho - what I don't get about this is that there are, no doubt, thousands of places in SL where you can go for just sex & each & every kink you can imagine, so why hit random people up ?

[FairreLilette]

1 hour ago, Love Zhaoying said:

I like to tell them "Sorry, my dance card is full!" Confuses the young-'uns.

Bwaaaaaaaaah!  But, seriously just jumping in an IM and asking, they need Second Life for Dummies or something...?  I dunno. 

But, back to the OP and the question of simpler times/things, that's what a tiny brings to me too...simpler things.   I got to thinking being a tiny at times is kind of like a celebrity going out in disguise in that no one bothers you about the pixel bumping because it is about simpler things and friendship centric pretty much, minus all the vanity that can do my head in sometimes.  Escaping from the vanity is great to take a break from.

Regarding celebrities in disguise, Bob Dylan's song Mr. Tambourine Man was written about his experiences at Mardi Gras; and, at Mardi Gras, people do wear a mask.  So, in that song, Mr. Tambourine Man, I can hear Bob singing about his experience just to be Bob as opposed to being Bob Dylan, because in a mask he's just one of the crowd.   That's what being a tiny is to me, just one of the crowd, no pressures.  

 

 

[Prokofy Neva]

9 hours ago, Gabriele Graves said:

It sounds to me like you are nearing burnout.  Taking a break isn't a bad thing, we all do that from time to time.

Your life, SL (or RL for that matter) can be as innocent as you would like it to be.  Just step back and avoid the places making you feel this way.  You don't have to turn tiny or dinkie to do that.  All it takes is the will to make a change for a while.  I can guarantee you will feel better.
 

Except that below you can see that a person *did* feel they had to become a dinkie to do this and what a relief it was.

Because it's always going on. To the point that any big public event or shopping event will have this element. There will be somebody IMing you in ways that would be instantly declared harassment and even lead to disciplinary action in a college or work setting these days. But maybe because it's being squashed now in RL, and with good reason, it surfaces more in SL. It's almost like it's acceptable because the Internet is unicorn realm blah blah. You wonder what kind of crude, hopeless, loser could possibly enjoy such behaviour in a welcome area or on a mall when it rarely produces effect. At least I hope it doesn't. This side of SL is not at all of interest to me, but from friends and tenants I hear stories of especially women being crudely hit upon all the time. But a #MeToo movement could likely not get steam in SL as it is too diffuse, too atomized, too diverse across countries and norms. The days when males in particular made crude exhibitions of themselves seem to be over, possibly because event organizers are much faster on the trigger now with banning and ejecting and run the settings on the sims better than they did, for example, at that ill-fated Business Week press conference with Daniel Terdiman and Anshe Chung. A term of my lease forbids walking around outside in your bits because years ago, this was a common problem. I can't remember when I have ever had to enforce it in recent years at all among paying tenants (as distinct from casual fly-by griefers). 

[Gabriele Graves]

22 minutes ago, Prokofy Neva said:

Except that below you can see that a person *did* feel they had to become a dinkie to do this and what a relief it was.

Sure for some it might but not for everyone.

Edited November 20, 2020 by Gabriele Graves
Edited quote to leave just the part I responded to

[Prokofy Neva]

2 hours ago, Gabriele Graves said:

Sure for some it might but not for everyone.

The claim isn't that "this is everyone's experience". This is classic in these sorts of Internet exchanges, that when somebody objects to ANYTHING, when someone has an opinion different from "the gang," they are suddenly accused of not being sensitive to the idea that other people don't have the same experience. Worse, for expressing dissent, they are accused of imposing an opinion, and people have feel as if they must "speak up and object" instead of accepting their experience -- is their experience, and valid, and in this cause cause for concern.

We're admonished to realize "sure for some it might but not for everyone" -- when what has happened is precisely THAT, only from the gang. In this case, you're in the gang. Someone already said to you "sure it might but not for everyone" -- yet you can't acknowledge it.

Try to hear it. She had to resort to the extreme of entirely changing her avatar -- not her outfit, not a short skirt or revealing blouse -- but her entire body. She had to become a furry woodland creature or a cartoon-like cat to get away from sexual harassment. That's awful. 

[Prokofy Neva]

13 hours ago, Horus Salubrius said:

I am so going to IM your brains out the next time I see you online !   😛 

srsly tho - what I don't get about this is that there are, no doubt, thousands of places in SL where you can go for just sex & each & every kink you can imagine, so why hit random people up ?

I think it's because in those clubs, the people have a set of norms and rules even for this sort of thing and that the welcome area weirdos don't fit in, and won't play nice. Plus, probably more sophisticated people reject them.

I'm a big opponent ideologically of BDSM as I think it's a fraudulent and abusive ideology and leads to crime. There's no need to retort and debate me on this because I won't be changing my views so move on. My point is that If someone practices BDSM in the privacy of their home or the case of SL their virtual rentals, it's not my business, it's not my job to get involved. This is what it tolerance; not acceptance of a lifestyle, but tolerance of a private space that people have of their own outside the government and institutions in society. That's important. 

So they have that free private space to do whatever they wish within the TOS. If they began to make a practice of getting into the face of me and others not in their lifestyle by parading around the commons areas in chains, I would urge them to take it back to their house the way I would if someone came outside without pants on. Their cries that this was some sort of spiritual experience unrelated to sex and therefore they need to "mainstream" chains and I have to be "inclusive" would fall on deaf ears. I don't need to be inclusive about violence and misogyny, dressed up though it is. They do feel no compunction about parading around a merchants' event -- indeed that's one of the place where they display themselves the most as it's kind of a cattle call.

From seeing these people at events and in my rentals and more likely from debating them on forums that I had gathered the impression that there are different schools of thought among them, and some of them see themselves as being very stylish and sophisticated with elaborate rules and norms. And others seem to have adopted this ideology for the worst reasons. And so to hear that Gor has spread further and made this sector more crude is interesting and I suppose sad. In my view, some of these people rescued their reprehensible belief system by at least having some civility and even gentility. At the very least they don't enlist you in their RP by force by using all their mannerisms and techniques on you, who has not consented. Of course, some of them have authoritarian personalities whereby their demand to see the manager and return a steak to the kitchen is the reason they are BDSM masters and not leading the women's rights group at their church. That is how I've kept up acquaintances with some of them over the years and exchanged conversations on general topics like SL policies or interesting sims to visit because they have borders, they aren't bleeding their lifestyle into other actions. 

When I get some young girl calling me Sir and cringing and putting "this girl blah blah" on her profile and saying everything has to be cleared by her "master" I say look, I'm not in your RP, stop. The thing about Gor is not just that it's sexist and backward and part of the whole objectionable BDSM ideology -- it's all this and set in the Middle Ages, in the crudest form with the lamest cliches. There's no modernity.

 

Edited November 21, 2020 by Prokofy Neva

[Talligurl]

21 hours ago, Gopi Passiflora said:

take a break from it and long for the simpler more innocent times....

I think you are on to something. 

[Rat Luv]

Maybe I'm lucky, I never felt pressured for sex in SL. Maybe the occasional person from Spain saying "SEXO?" Or sometimes I got asked by guests when I was hosting in a club...but if I said "No thanks, I'm just not interested in that" they were usually "OK!" and didn't push it. 

My friends on SL were all sex-mad lol. Doesn't bother me, just never found it that interesting. Though I jumped on a tentacle bed in a furry castle once. I didn't even know it was a 'thing'... and helped my friend test her new sex poses HD (fully clothed!). I didn't know some of the moves were possible...

But back to the question...when I was hosting and SL clubbing a lot, think I would have become burnt out if I hadn't made time to go to a sandbox and build in peace and quiet. It was nice going from being an extrovert, and trying to entertain everyone in the club or have fun with SL club friends, to just being a quiet, anonymous student in a build or language class