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When exposed to excess, do you feel a need to...take a break from it all?


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I'm not talking about painful things, but rather an excess of pleasurable things like sexuality and partying.

To better illustrate what I'm talking about, think about a vacation to Las Vegas. In the Las Vegas Strip you are exposed to many references to sexuality and partying. Beautiful women and men are plastered on signs everywhere. Go-go dancers dance on platforms in the casinos. Bars with all kinds of alcohol drinks beckon potential patrons. And on and on. All in excess.

Another example is Second Life itself. There's many references to sexuality in the virtual world. I would say it is the thing that keeps it alive and is the most popular thing to do while on there.

I admit I do like seeing attractive women and partying and all, but sometimes an excess of this stimuli cause me to want to take a break from it and long for the simpler more innocent times....

I hope you guys understand the things I'm trying to convey.

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24 minutes ago, Gopi Passiflora said:

Another example is Second Life itself. There's many references to sexuality in the virtual world. I would say it is the thing that keeps it alive and is the most popular thing to do while on there.

This, O god yes, this. I was thinking just exactly this thing earlier today.

I don't know that sex is what keeps SL alive, but **** I am sick to death of having it shoved in front of me, it sometimes seems, every minute I'm in SL. I'm tired of its omnipresence on the MP, of worrying that every time a man (or occasionally woman) IMs me, it's with an ulterior motive, of having to worry about what might happen if I sit on this couch with the cuddle and/or adult animations when others are around, of outfits at clubs that look like they're so tight and skimpy that I feel the need to step back in case something bursts and hurts someone.

I get it, I really do. It's important to you. That's great, enjoy enjoy! Bonk your pixels all you want; I won't judge you for it, really I won't.

Just . . . do it somewhere else please. At least for a little while? Just to give me a breather?

It's not that it offends me, honestly. I'm totally "pro-sex" in an abstract, let-other-people-have-their-fun kind of way.

It's just that I am soooooooooooooooooooooooo very very very bored of tripping over it all the time.

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Think about joining the tinies at Raglan Shire and the group Small Talk inworld as sex is pretty much absent there.  The tinies are about friendship and fun, plus some games including greedy, fishing, trivia and live music events.  Get into the live music scene inworld too.  

The thing about pixel sex or even sex in real life is you cannot have sex 24/7, so try to find other things to do.  Photography is also a huge hobby on SL and I'd say maybe only one-third is sexual.

Building is what keeps me interested, but in being a tiny you get to just talk to people and have friends and it's not a meat market at all.  

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9 minutes ago, FairreLilette said:

Think about joining the tinies at Raglan Shire and the group Small Talk inworld as sex is pretty much absent there.  The tinies are about friendship and fun, plus some games including greedy, fishing, trivia and live music events.  Get into the live music scene inworld too.  

The thing about pixel sex or even sex in real life is you cannot have sex 24/7, so try to find other things to do.  Photography is also a huge hobby on SL and I'd say maybe only one-third is sexual.

Building is what keeps me interested, but in being a tiny you get to just talk to people and have friends and it's not a meat market at all.  

Thanks for the suggestion; I'm sure the community at Raglan Shire -- and others like it -- are really lovely.

But, and maybe this is a bit difficult to explain, I'm not actively trying to avoid sexuality here. And I certainly don't want to deprive myself of all the wonderful places -- and people -- associated with sexuality. I go to a lot of adult sims, for instance -- because they house galleries, or are simply beautiful. So, of course I am going to see sexuality. These are choices that I am making. It wouldn't be difficult -- by choosing to restrict myself to a "G" rated lifestyle here -- to avoid most of it. But I'm actually not a "G" rated person (although I am not at all sexually active).

I don't want to "get rid" of sexuality here, or banish it forever from my sight. But it's what Gopi says -- it's the excess that is so very boring and tiring and monotonous. If everyone in SL wore Forest Green, I'd get bored of that colour pretty quick -- it's the same with the endless parade of sex here.

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5 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Thanks for the suggestion; I'm sure the community at Raglan Shire -- and others like it -- are really lovely.

But, and maybe this is a bit difficult to explain, I'm not actively trying to avoid sexuality here. And I certainly don't want to deprive myself of all the wonderful places -- and people -- associated with sexuality. I go to a lot of adult sims, for instance -- because they house galleries, or are simply beautiful. So, of course I am going to see sexuality. These are choices that I am making. It wouldn't be difficult -- by choosing to restrict myself to a "G" rated lifestyle here -- to avoid most of it. But I'm actually not a "G" rated person (although I am not at all sexually active).

I don't want to "get rid" of sexuality here, or banish it forever from my sight. But it's what Gopi says -- it's the excess that is so very boring and tiring and monotonous. If everyone in SL wore Forest Green, I'd get bored of that colour pretty quick -- it's the same with the endless parade of sex here.

I have been solely human in Second Life twice before and did not build at all and was on SL those two times prior purely for the social scene as a human.

When I was human those two times in SL before I thought I would never ever be an animal avatar nor anything but human.

Also, I've been a Dinkie for about a year now...but I build a lot of that time...so it's different for those who build I think.  Things don't get so stale for me so quickly because I do have a very varied SL.  I am a human female sometimes plus a fairy or an elf which looks fairly human.  So, I'm not only Dinkie...I am free to be whatever I want.   

The reason I suggested it though is I found it so freeing just to have friends but you don't need to do it all of the time.

So, I guess I'm suggesting look for the variables be it the live music scene, photography, decorating, just something other to do than be obsessed about sex and sexuality as we cannot have sex 24/7 and we are very varied people both in real life and SL.  We have many interests in real life, that's what the tinies gave me, just a chance for us to talk about all kinds of things in this varied world of ours without any pressure of coupling or dating.  

We can have many alts and be many things in SL.  Some of the scenes in SL are not about sex.

However, I was like many here in SL wherein I thought I'd never be an avatar other than human but then it just suddenly happened.  It was seeing the work of one Dinkie designer who really sold me because her stuff was not baby-ish plus she is a great designer.  I've gotten my Dinkie into some Gypsy and Goth stuff which I made and I think it's darling.   But, I still love delving into human, fairy, elf grown female fashion and costumes and photography.  

I think I am lucky that I build, SL is far less stale that way because I am busy a lot.  

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Not really. I know this is semantics, but being exposed to something isn’t the same as participating of it, and therefore taking a break needs not apply. I’ve been hanging at a place which kinda sells itself as naturist without in fact honouring the concept, and so sex happens, sometimes in seats next to mine. But I have a high tolerance for what constitutes ‘shoved on my face’, in fact an almost perverse pleasure in exercising detachment. For me at least, not wishing to be involved makes a world of difference.

In your example, Gopi, going to Las Vegas doesn’t necessarily imply a wish to non-stop sex and party, and so all you have to do is nurture the ability to focus on whatever it is that you wanted to do.

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1 hour ago, Jordan Whitt said:

Coulda been worse!  She could have told us all how she is an escort and then shoved her sex life down our throats.

Give it time.  They all have to start somewhere.  Which leads me to what tires me... those who act like they are the first to discover the adult side of either life and then try to shove it down our throats. 

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7 hours ago, Gopi Passiflora said:

I'm not talking about painful things, but rather an excess of pleasurable things like sexuality and partying.

To better illustrate what I'm talking about, think about a vacation to Las Vegas. In the Las Vegas Strip you are exposed to many references to sexuality and partying. Beautiful women and men are plastered on signs everywhere. Go-go dancers dance on platforms in the casinos. Bars with all kinds of alcohol drinks beckon potential patrons. And on and on. All in excess.

Another example is Second Life itself. There's many references to sexuality in the virtual world. I would say it is the thing that keeps it alive and is the most popular thing to do while on there.

I admit I do like seeing attractive women and partying and all, but sometimes an excess of this stimuli cause me to want to take a break from it and long for the simpler more innocent times....

I hope you guys understand the things I'm trying to convey.

It sounds to me like you are nearing burnout.  Taking a break isn't a bad thing, we all do that from time to time.

7 hours ago, Gopi Passiflora said:

...long for the simpler more innocent times....

Your life, SL (or RL for that matter) can be as innocent as you would like it to be.  Just step back and avoid the places making you feel this way.  You don't have to turn tiny or dinkie to do that.  All it takes is the will to make a change for a while.  I can guarantee you will feel better.
 

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14 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

This, O god yes, this. I was thinking just exactly this thing earlier today.

I don't know that sex is what keeps SL alive, but **** I am sick to death of having it shoved in front of me, it sometimes seems, every minute I'm in SL. I'm tired of its omnipresence on the MP, of worrying that every time a man (or occasionally woman) IMs me, it's with an ulterior motive, of having to worry about what might happen if I sit on this couch with the cuddle and/or adult animations when others are around, of outfits at clubs that look like they're so tight and skimpy that I feel the need to step back in case something bursts and hurts someone.

I get it, I really do. It's important to you. That's great, enjoy enjoy! Bonk your pixels all you want; I won't judge you for it, really I won't.

Just . . . do it somewhere else please. At least for a little while? Just to give me a breather?

It's not that it offends me, honestly. I'm totally "pro-sex" in an abstract, let-other-people-have-their-fun kind of way.

It's just that I am soooooooooooooooooooooooo very very very bored of tripping over it all the time.

Perfectly said. I'm happy that people find happiness in their SL even  if it is all about that. It doesn't need to be advertised or pushed in someone's face. I actually feel it's extremely impolite when they do this.

That can be with anything though really. If one is forced to see it when they've no interest in it, it becomes mundane. 

Edited by Dafadilia Wayfarer
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As someone who had their proper sexual awakening in SL, I really do understand that intoxicating feeling of liberation and self-discovery, together with a hefty dose of "wow, I am a much more sexual/interesting person than I thought I was" (that latter might not be objectively true, but it's certainly how I felt and I know many others do too). I understand that and I've got time for it; it may not be new to me now, but it was once, and for some people, their time is now.

What I get fed up of is a wide ranging feeling that there's only one way to express it, and when it is made to impact upon others negatively. The former: for example, Gor (obviously). One of my many objections to it is how it has infected essentially every master/dancing girl expression of BDSM fantasy with its pedantic and stupid tower of rules and regulations, to the point where the Arabian Nights and Ancient Rome sims I loved got assimilated by the Gorean Borg and effectively made into Gor sims. Because anything that involves a BDSM slavery theme or belly dance costume MUST be Gor; there can be no alternative. Even in places that mostly didn't get assimilated, you had to accept stupid and unnecessary Gorean words and bollocks, because otherwise you'd honestly never get anything. To be fair, though, this is only one example and you don't need to be Gorean to be one-dimensional (though God knows it helps). It's fine if you have only one outlet or means of expression, but when it's the same thing over and over everywhere, it can definitely lead to that feeling of overload that seems to be familiar to many people. I certainly agree that people have the right to express themselves as they like, with the obvious ethical caveats, but if someone says they feel there's a bit of a lack of subtle sexuality and it's overshadowed by all the "in yer face" stuff, I know what they mean.

You can indeed be very overtly and explicitly sexual, if that's who you are, but it doesn't make you "more" sexual than someone who takes a more subtle or reserved tone...and anyway it's not a competition. And you may have to accept that by its very nature, it's more likely to wear thin for some people. The flame that burns twice as bright burns half as long...

On the second point about negatively affecting others, this is obviously related to consent, primarily. There's also that common phenomenon in which you find someone determined to cast you as the repressive frigid bore, because they need that character in order to be the uber sexual, scandalous one. That's annoying and yeah, can feel a bit "in yer face" too.

Of course, it's all very subjective. Rather like everyone thinks their own level of Christmas indulgence is the right one, and anything over that is just so wasteful and bad taste, we probably all think our own level of sexuality is just the right one too. Still, if lots of people are having the same experience, maybe there's something in it.

Edited by Amina Sopwith
Sorry, censorship software....I should have realised that word wasn't allowed.
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4 hours ago, Gabriele Graves said:

You don't have to turn tiny or dinkie to do that.  All it takes is the will to make a change for a while.  I can guarantee you will feel better.
 

This can be done, of course.  One thing, and I'm speaking for me, when I became a tiny (although, as I said I am not a tiny all of the time - I could be a mermaid next week if I wanted too or whatever I want - it's my dime, my time, my world, my imagination) is that with a tiny avatar, the vanity of the whole sex appeal pushed on us constantly especially on MP, disappears, and that is very freeing.  To just let go of all the vanity that comes along with SL and always wondering do I look okay...am I good enough to be a sexytimes goddess here?  All of that pressure vanishes in my experience as a tiny.

The other plus is that the wanna have sexytimes IM's disappeared completely.  And, that was a wonderful break for me.  I needed those to stop.  I really did.  I had guys jumping in my IM's for sexytimes without even asking for a dance first and I was not interested in the least.  Treat me correctly, perhaps.  

Edited by FairreLilette
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There is such a thing as 'too much of a good thing'. when you get to that level and stay there for extended periods of time, it can cause burnout and you will either willingly or forcibly end up taking a break from it. Its why its a good idea to have multiple hobbies or activities to be involved with. so when burn out sets in from one, you can switch to another. Here in sl that can be accomplished with having alts. you got your worker alt, your explorer alt, your bdsm alt, your vanilla chill alt.

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There are places I avoid now because being randomly propositioned for sex gets boring quick.  "Wow you're hot. let's go f**K !"  (just yesterday)

No, I do not want to have a quickie with you .. I don't even know you !

And the thing is, in SL if any kind of sex or cuddling is gonna work for me then I am going to have get a brain erection first.

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41 minutes ago, Horus Salubrius said:

There are places I avoid now because being randomly propositioned for sex gets boring quick.  "Wow you're hot. let's go f**K !"  (just yesterday)

No, I do not want to have a quickie with you .. I don't even know you !

And the thing is, in SL if any kind of sex or cuddling is gonna work for me then I am going to have get a brain erection first.

Heh, quite. There is obviously nothing wrong with people wanting to do that but actual human connection is sexy too...

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46 minutes ago, Horus Salubrius said:

There are places I avoid now because being randomly propositioned for sex gets boring quick.  "Wow you're hot. let's go f**K !"  (just yesterday)

No, I do not want to have a quickie with you .. I don't even know you !

And the thing is, in SL if any kind of sex or cuddling is gonna work for me then I am going to have get a brain erection first.

brain erection= good rp, that is enticing enough to make you want to stay for more.. not "oh baby yes!!!!!" repeated over and over.

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14 hours ago, Gopi Passiflora said:

I'm not talking about painful things, but rather an excess of pleasurable things like sexuality and partying.

To better illustrate what I'm talking about, think about a vacation to Las Vegas. In the Las Vegas Strip you are exposed to many references to sexuality and partying. Beautiful women and men are plastered on signs everywhere. Go-go dancers dance on platforms in the casinos. Bars with all kinds of alcohol drinks beckon potential patrons. And on and on. All in excess.

Another example is Second Life itself. There's many references to sexuality in the virtual world. I would say it is the thing that keeps it alive and is the most popular thing to do while on there.

I admit I do like seeing attractive women and partying and all, but sometimes an excess of this stimuli cause me to want to take a break from it and long for the simpler more innocent times....

I hope you guys understand the things I'm trying to convey.

This is why most of the time I have both search inworld and MP checked only for G and M. Even though I have land on the adult continent and tenants that mark themselves "adult", and that's fine, so I need to see them of course, and then I turn it on briefly to find them or my land.

But...I am usually so disgusted by the search returns and the parade of utter vulgarity on the MP that I shut it out. I think (hope?) the new owners of LL are going to be shaking some of this out, so buckle up, we're going to have a lot of complaints. The last five things purchased by others was once useful, fun, sometimes naughty, but whimsical. Today, it's an endless parade of -- well, go and see, I don't want to describe it. 

 It's constantly filtered out as I move around inworld too. I know that if I land at any event, half the people will be nearly naked not because they aren't rezzing, but because they either want to strut their stuff or because they think taking off their clothes and trying on demos is a normal thing to do in public.

Today I saw a sale and somehow my filter, which usually sees those things coming down the tracks and filters them before they reach consciousness, suddenly fell on a grotesquerie. Someone has made a Big Gulp sort of holdable cup with Bento containing...a reproductive organ.

I can't unsee that, but I should never have to see it in the first place, because the creator even working for an adult market should have some sense of where the limit lies. I think it does lie there. Yet no doubt he will sell many of them.

 

Edited by Prokofy Neva
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