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13 hours ago, manoji Yachvili said:

I think I gambled my few friendships because I give gifts that are not required

if you mean that you dump a lot of items on other people for no reason other than that you can, this can annoy people sometimes. Specially if it is random stuff they could get themselves from freebie places

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1 hour ago, Mollymews said:

if you mean that you dump a lot of items on other people for no reason other than that you can, this can annoy people sometimes. Specially if it is random stuff they could get themselves from freebie places

not a lot and not just because I can and are things that you cannot find in a freebies place..

I do just because when someone is kind to me is a pleasure make a gift,  maybe I'm wrong but when it happens to me it has been a nice surprise.

Anyway I'll stop to do most of the things that I think are "nice", maybe  staying alone it saves a lot of hurt feelings on both sides as Dafadilia wrote.

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1 hour ago, manoji Yachvili said:

argh... I'm not sure to have understand... damn to my poor english

from the reaction I suppose it's a joke 😎

It actually wasn't, but if it made people laugh, I'll take that! "Punching up" in this context means using humour to attack people or institutions that are actually powerful and worthy of criticism, and not people who are already vulnerable or marginalised. 

You will of course always find people who say nothing should be off limits, and they're allowed to say so, but you can't claim that your humour is just dark, edgy and beyond lesser comprehension if it goes for people who are already disadvantaged and wrongly attacked all the time. I find people who punch down are always the first to take offence when they're the target too.

 

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1 hour ago, Amina Sopwith said:

It actually wasn't, but if it made people laugh, I'll take that! "Punching up" in this context means using humour to attack people or institutions that are actually powerful and worthy of criticism, and not people who are already vulnerable or marginalised. 

You will of course always find people who say nothing should be off limits, and they're allowed to say so, but you can't claim that your humour is just dark, edgy and beyond lesser comprehension if it goes for people who are already disadvantaged and wrongly attacked all the time. I find people who punch down are always the first to take offence when they're the target too.

 

ok, thank for the explanation.
I'm agree that "punching up" must not use for people who are already vulnerable or marginalised. 

I've learned a new way of saying

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I think some people are generally sensitive and thin skinned about every little thing anyway. More so now days then ever before. That's why when I introduce people to a lot of my friends on here who joke around a lot I give a disclaimer and let them now right off the bat you need a thick skin around this crowd. lol And a lot of it is due to cultural differences, gender, race, political views, religious preferences, etc., etc.. This alone is why I tend to stick with people my own age range and above. ;)

You may say something and it sounded good in your head at the time when you said it and no big deal, but sometimes you may have 5 to 20 people read in to it and get their feathers all ruffled over it and make it in to something it is not. I find this happens more often then not when communicating in type then when your on voice. The only up side to that is if you find people trying to judge you as an over all person for it as if they think they actually know you then it pretty much helps you know who you really need to stay clear of. lol So at the end of the day it's a win. lol 😁

The other side of that coin though is some of my best friendships made on here have been due to some of those communication hiccups. So there is also that as well too mates. lol :D

Anyway that's just my opinion. Take care. Stay safe and stay blessed all. :)

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14 minutes ago, Velk Kerang said:

I think some people are generally sensitive and thin skinned about every little thing anyway. More so now days then ever before. That's why when I introduce people to a lot of my friends on here who joke around a lot I give a disclaimer and let them now right off the bat you need a thick skin around this crowd. lol And a lot of it is due to cultural differences, gender, race, political views, religious preferences, etc., etc.. This alone is why I tend to stick with people my own age range and above. ;)

You may say something and it sounded good in your head at the time when you said it and no big deal, but sometimes you may have 5 to 20 people read in to it and get their feathers all ruffled over it and make it in to something it is not. I find this happens more often then not when communicating in type then when your on voice. The only up side to that is if you find people trying to judge you as an over all person for it as if they think they actually know you then it pretty much helps you know who you really need to stay clear of. lol So at the end of the day it's a win. lol 😁

The other side of that coin though is some of my best friendships made on here have been due to some of those communication hiccups. So there is also that as well too mates. lol :D

Anyway that's just my opinion. Take care. Stay safe and stay blessed all. :)

If you are always having to explain to people that you were being funny, there's a very good chance that you weren't being funny. 

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24 minutes ago, Velk Kerang said:

 

 

You can respond in incredibly mature cliches, gifs and attempts to get as close as you can to swearing at me without quite breaking the forum rules, like last time, but it doesn't really change the fact that if you keep having to tell people you were being funny, chances are you just aren't being funny. 

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25 minutes ago, Amina Sopwith said:

You can respond in incredibly mature cliches, gifs and attempts to get as close as you can to swearing at me without quite breaking the forum rules, like last time, but it doesn't really change the fact that if you keep having to tell people you were being funny, chances are you just aren't being funny. 

I never once told anyone I was being funny mate. Since you want to bring it up though let me set the record straight on something first. My comment on this thread had absolutely nothing to do with you specifically, but was an over all generalized comment. You seem to think it was directed towards you. It was not. And just like in the thread to which you are referring to you seem to want to make something out of nothing. The meme in which your referring to I posted because I was simply done going back and forth with you about it. I explained myself once. That should have been sufficient.

You did not seem to grasp the concept of what I had said to you. You also were not being very respectful of the OP's wishes and staying on the topic of the thread. I chose to opt out of the conversation for that reason and the meme was funny. Considering your accusatory and extremely rude and condescending tone towards me you were in fact doing exactly that in which you were attempting to accuse me of. I didn't appreciate it one bit. So the response fit the bill.

You wanna try and stir the pot again. I dropped that meme which was also fitting. I let you have it. Ya I'm not funny. Whatever you say. I'm not gonna argue with you. lol Obviously that was not good enough because you didn't get the hint.

Now just so we're clear let me spell it out for you. I am not going to do a back and forth poop show with you again so if you got a chip obviously residing on your shoulder about something then your welcome to contact me about it. If not then let it go and get over it. I have. :)

Edited by Velk Kerang
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I am gonna add one more thing. @Amina Sopwith I will apologize to you for that one meme since it obviously bothered you. So I am sorry about that. I just want you to keep in mind though because this is a problem I see happening in the world today between genders. They seem to feel that when a man gives critique it is some how this word mansplaining and what not and we're in an age that traditional thinking like opening doors for women, paying for dinner, and defending women somehow takes away from their independence and is somehow an affront to their honor. Traditionally speaking as men we're expected to do those things. I want to do those things. It's the right thing to do.

So if women don't want us doing those things well then they can't come complaining to men when/if bad things happen and men don't do anything about it. Just like they can't complain if they converse with a man and he responds to them in the same manner in which he would to another man because they want to be treated equally like a man. You just can't have it both ways. You just can't go toe to toe with a guy and then when your feelings get hurt make him feel bad because he hurt your feelings. That's just wrong.

In any case just food for thought. Again I am sorry and want to apologize for the meme that bothered you. Take care. Stay safe and have a blessed day. :)

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7 minutes ago, manoji Yachvili said:

oh no please ... I didn't want this to become an angry post, with flame answers 😢

It's all good mate. I'm not gonna go that far with it on my end anyway. lol You did start a post about misunderstandings though. Technically this counts. lol There is a lot of them on the forums here. Lmao!!!! :D

Edited by Velk Kerang
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@manoji Yachvilidon’t stop interacting with people. You’ll find your way in a balance with most people and if the one-on-one interactions aren’t going too well, maybe try interacting within general chatty groups a little more for a while. Sometimes feeling misunderstood can lead to feeling isolated too and sometimes people act the way they do just because of the times or due to general social tension or someone having a bad day. I know it is hard, people talk fast, we use idioms, slang and lots of insider language without even realizing it and we often don’t mean to give the impression of being unfriendly. But please do not take it personally and do not give up. 

Edited by Fauve Aeon
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3 hours ago, Velk Kerang said:

It's all good mate. I'm not gonna go that far with it on my end anyway. lol You did start a post about misunderstandings though. Technically this counts. lol There is a lot of them on the forums here. Lmao!!!! :D

you are right.. in fact it demonstrates the problem of misunderstanding

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12 hours ago, manoji Yachvili said:

I do just because when someone is kind to me is a pleasure make a gift,  maybe I'm wrong but when it happens to me it has been a nice surprise.

when we are in a friend relationship then I find that is always best to ask if our friend wants an item beforehand

it can get a bit disconcerting when for example our friend gives us xmas presents when we have not any conversation about this. The disconcerting part is are we expected to reciprocate. Without a prior conversation then we are unable to determine this.

Edited by Mollymews
typo
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8 hours ago, Mollymews said:

when we are in a friend relationship then I find that is always best to ask if our friend wants an item beforehand

it can get a bit disconcerting when for example our friend gives us xmas presents when we have not any conversation about this. The disconcerting part is are we expected to reciprocate. Without a prior conversation then we are unable to determine this.

obviously we have a different way of living friendship 😊

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Well I think if I buy someone a present for Christmas and they are worried on whether or not they should reciprocate then they are doing it wrong. People do because they wanna do. I don't really think anyone should expect anything. Do because ya wanna do. I don't have a problem myself gambling on friendships. I choose to look at it as in having faith. If I choose to be someones friend it was because they displayed a quality that I obviously seen in them worth taking that step in the first place mates. :)

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It’s just a choice, @manoji Yachvili. I place a lot of value in sharing the laugh, so making my jokes accessible comes naturally to me (maybe it’s my Asperger’s—we’re not wired to get subtlety, and tend to assume no one else does); but I rarely see anything wrong in choosing to hope your target audience has minimally working brains to close the gap.

It’s like designing & selling a product: if many of your customers find it too complicated, they won’t buy it. You can blame them all you want for being too dumb... and maybe they are! But they still won’t buy it. At that point, you make a choice: either make it accessible to a broader audience, or stick to a narrower one that might, in fact, appreciate it being better tailored for ’advanced users’. Both options are just fine.

Edited by Ren Toxx
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3 hours ago, Mollymews said:

yes you are right. You did say that you gamble on your friendships. So we are different in that way

this is a kind of misunderstanding..

I'm sure that my use of "gambling" is not proper.. maybe rely on is most suitable.

boh... I hate my poor use of english

Edited by manoji Yachvili
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5 hours ago, manoji Yachvili said:

this is a kind of misunderstanding..

I'm sure that my use of "gambling" is not proper.. maybe rely on is most suitable.

boh... I hate my poor use of english

I took it to mean ‘I risked the humor being misunderstood’. If you do not mind me asking, what is your native language? 

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