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On 10/26/2020 at 6:00 AM, ballparkdogg said:

If you are in a new relationship in SL and you have a house, Would require the person you are with to help pay the “rent”if they move in?

Same property rights (yes) or just being allowed to be there (no)?

Same rights would mean, rezing rights for x% of prims, building rights and access control. Everything else is not really "moving in".

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

maybe not require but request possibly. i realize not everyone has that kind of L$ to spend. i guess it would depend on size/rent of the home. i just live in a home thats provided from having premium so its not  costly to me. if i had a land that costed so much a month that would be different i would thinkl

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  • 2 weeks later...
48 minutes ago, Amanda Crisp said:

Most RL relationships fail over money.

My Partner and I have always gone 50-50 on property and decorations and that’s seen us for 15+ years total together online.

That’s what works for me, but your mileage may differ 🙂

This  ^^^^  100%  this. 

When my partner and I got our very first place over 11 years ago I moved out into the house next door because he wouldn't let me pay half of the rent.  He got the point and ever since everything was split 50/50.  The rent on that first place was only L$25 a week but that wasn't the point.  :)  It worked because everything was split equally from the start.  

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34 minutes ago, LittleMe Jewell said:
7 hours ago, Amanda Crisp said:

Most RL relationships fail over money.

Or religion or politics

Actually, I know many bi-religious couples and those seem to be working great, no kids yet though.  

I've heard the three biggest stressers on a relationship are the following -

1) Finances

2) How to raise the children (religion and politics could fit in here)

and 

3) Sex

 

But, back to the OP and splitting the rent - it's up to the couple and each of their SL finances, so could have variables.  However, I don't think someone should ask to have another move in without stating it's for a 50/50 split.   If it's for a 50/50 split some people may prefer to keep their own as decorating is a hobby to them.  

 

Edited by JanuarySwan
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20 hours ago, JanuarySwan said:

Actually, I know many bi-religious couples and those seem to be working great, no kids yet though.  

I've heard the three biggest stressers on a relationship are the following -

1) Finances

2) How to raise the children (religion and politics could fit in here)

and 

3) Sex

 

But, back to the OP and splitting the rent - it's up to the couple and each of their SL finances, so could have variables.  However, I don't think someone should ask to have another move in without stating it's for a 50/50 split.   If it's for a 50/50 split some people may prefer to keep their own as decorating is a hobby to them.  

 

With us, we are living for free on a friend's land, so there is no rent. I bought a house which fit the parcel, and we both decorate.  We had to leave another place, so we set our new household up together from scratch. Which is something I'm very much enjoying!!!

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Madison and I did not live together in the beginning of our relationship; she still had her own place. For a long time we kept our own separate homes but Madi has always had rez-rights on my land for whenever she wants/needs it. Now that I own much more land than I had before, Madi lives on it with me, and I don't expect her to pay because I know what her situation is in RL. Having land is a luxury I can afford, and I'm happy to share with her as much as she wants.  She still has her own separate house though. We share land but not houses. She likes her own private space.  (Truth is, I think she also gets a bit tired of me ripping everything up and re-decorating every few months).

But of course, this is not a new relationship. We've been together in SL almost ten years and we know each other very well. It would be entirely different if I was starting a new relationship.

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When my ex partner moved in, I never asked for any rent, it never really occurred to me to ask him. He wasn't online as much as I was, and I still had the majority of the prim usage, which suited my rezzing needs. I think he rezzed about two items in total. He did pay up the rent a couple of times for me when it was due, completely of his own accord which was appreciated.

I think now, I probably would ask, if the person was becoming long term that is, and if they hadn't already offered. Maybe half each, rent and prims, but then again I like my place how I like it, so if a partner stays over rent free, I also have the luxury of keeping my home exactly how I want, with full prims usage and not having their stuff there which might not be to my taste. So you get what you pay for, quite literally I guess, if you are the only one paying. - Full prims usage and no one else's stuff cluttering your home. Call me a control freak, but that's kind of how I do prefer it. It's much easier if you have your own homes and then just visit each other. No rent expectations and you get to keep things exactly how you like them.

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Is there really a reason to "move in" with someone? Given the rate that SL relationships fail you'd be better off just renting a skybox for 25L to do your "thing", whatever that might be and trade off months paying it.  That way if something happens no ones sim is messed up and you just go back to the way you were before you met.  If the relationship last then by that time there really is no need to ask this question because it will just work itself out.  

The only time I would ask someone to contribute half is if we were going to engage in RP and live on the RPing sim and rent there.  Those places can get expensive and if both people are participating in the RP then both should contribute half. 

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On 10/26/2020 at 12:00 AM, ballparkdogg said:

If you are in a new relationship in SL and you have a house, Would require the person you are with to help pay the “rent”if they move in?

They wouldn't be moving in with me and I wouldn't be moving in with them..

When I first came to SL and  got some land and a house, my friends from outside SL I let live in my house and helped them with their avatars.. it kind of became an entry way for many of my friends.. Even after i moved out i kept paying for the land..Eventually they all went there own way and one of them decided to stay there and take over the land.. that was about a year later..

Since then  I never lived with anyone in SL and couldn't see doing it again.. I enjoyed it with my friends, but I like having my place where i can get away from everyone and just have my me time.

I don't spend anywhere near the time I did when I was younger and had more time to be in world.. Time is more precious now than back then..

 

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On 10/26/2020 at 10:13 PM, Nick0678 said:
Well i don't date in SL anymore but when i did in the past i never asked for such stuff.
Considered it funny to ask the other person to contribute 2-3 US dollars per week, especially since with most we also met in RL and that's the cost of a cup of coffee at the cafe.

Agreed with you. I pay much more, like about 10K/month and I never asked anything to my gf. I don't know, i think it's depend of each of us. But for  5 Can dollars  per week, i would be shy to ask her 2.50 Can dollars per week! 

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I think it can be complex in a few ways because even in the virtual...in the symbolic sense it’s good to divide the responsibilities of any relationship in the way that fits both partners the best. Learning to figure that out is a big part of the communication and the relationship dynamic, how we let our needs be known and how we negotiate things. It may or may not include some sort of a financial split or one person paying for all and the other taking the lead responsibility in another part of the relationship. 
If one person doesn’t put money at all into the picture, are they less committed? Is the one who pays all more ‘invested’? Is $3-$25-$100 not worth dealing with at all or is it not really only about the money? If you just free play, do you take as much care as if you had to pay a bit dearly? How is that value/investment calculated by each of you?
and no, it doesn’t have to be complex either 😉 but there are level of realism and levels of payoff/satisfaction in any virtual endeavor so it’s sometimes worth thinking about to some people. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I never ask a friend to pay for rez rights unless they have their own house and plenty of prims or scripts being used.

I have in the past shared a SL home with a RL boyfriend & SL partner. After one un-partnering that he initiated, I insisted on him having his own place, even when we did re-partner. Those who have been in SL awhile may understand why. When a woman breaks up with a SL partner, they will inevitably want to get a new house or at least refurnish their old one. This helps to remove memories of the past partner, arguments you had, and stress they brought you. You can feel like you're making a clean start by getting a new house. Unfortunately, redecorating takes time and often entails spending some money on a new house and/or furnishings. Thus, I prefer to let my friends rez on my land if they wish, but my land and my home is mine. If they have a home of their own, I'm happy to help them decorate, but I would not insist on moving in my objects.

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