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Do you believe relationships built on SL are same in RL?


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On 10/21/2020 at 1:35 PM, ballparkdogg said:

Often someone will mute you Or block you in an sl relationship.  When they don’t want to deal with the things that you deal with in real life.  Thats what makes a real life relationship stronger that there maybe UPs but there is certain to be DOWNs.  Things to be learned from one another

Plus in RL, as an example if they are having problems or I am, a real hug goes so much farther than /hug..

Again, I'm not knocking online relationships because there is a lot of value there.. I've learned so much from just meeting people from all around the world and becoming friends with so many.. It's just for me, that when they were sad or haven't seen each other in a while, I wish i could have did more than a /hug or could feel how excited they were and they feel from me that same thing in our body language and facial expressions and touch.. Things like that..

I love making friends anywhere I can, but for me and I'm only speaking for myself.. i just feel my rL relationships are stronger and different than my online ones..

Online has a lot of positives also.. I can do and say things with the people I meet online that i could never say or do with people in RL..hehehehe

 

 

 

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16 minutes ago, Ceka Cianci said:

Plus in RL, as an example if they are having problems or I am, a real hug goes so much farther than /hug..etc ..I love making friends anywhere I can, but for me and I'm only speaking for myself.. i just feel my rL relationships are stronger and different than my online ones..

I can understand what you are saying and it does make sense.

Personally i had a great opportunity to stress test both my RL friendships and SL friendships (long term) a few years back when i had to go through eye surgeries that took plenty of time for each eye to heal so for about 6-7 months (some of it being almost blind) i interacted with both categories. Eventually and based on the results i decided only to role play and skip anything else due to realistically speaking not being practical for me.

So it really has to do with how someone chooses to play SL, what is their definition of friendships or relationships and many other factors.

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6 minutes ago, Nick0678 said:

I can understand what you are saying and it does make sense.

Personally i had a great opportunity to stress test both my RL friendships and SL friendships (long term) a few years back when i had to go through eye surgeries that took plenty of time for each eye to heal so for about 6-7 months (some of it being almost blind) i interacted with both categories. Eventually and based on the results i decided only to role play and skip anything else due to realistically speaking not being practical for me.

So it really has to do with how someone chooses to play SL, what is their definition of friendships or relationships and many other factors.

Yes, it's why I don't think there is one true answer and it's very subjective to who is being asked..

I'm just glad to meet new people no matter where it happens really.. I'm grateful to be able to meet people from all over my own country, let alone the whole globe..

We're pretty fortunate to be able to do that today I think..The generations before mine wasn't as fortunate  to have so many avenues as we do now..

 

 

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Hello everyone !! YES of course it can happen , i have met "karma " in SL in 2011 , we met in RL  a year  later and i immediately  decided to leave my country for him  , we are now married with two children, our love grows as the time goes by  and i feel lucky every single day of my life .  we recently  decided to join SL again , covid restrictions keeping us indoors to create  and  enjoy together  all that sl has to offer  ! 

Edited by Sheylann Miles
mouse fell off as i was halfway typing my text
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I guess I don't really separate SecondLife from Real Life that way.  SecondLife, like everything else we do and experience, happens in the real world.  One way to look at it is that SecondLife is akin to a telephone call...  a bit of technology inserted between two people just like the telephony system.  In that context, SecondLife relationships are very different than Real Life ones but only because of the changing landscape wherein they happen.  For instance, if I had a close female friend with whom I'd been talking for the last 20 years on the phone but she happened to live far away, I would not see that as identical to a similar female friend (or my wife) that I physically see every day.  That doesn't mean that the phone relationship is shallow, illusory, or meaningless.  But what it does mean is that it's not the same as physically seeing someone every day or living with them under the same roof.  Due to the more robust interface between two people that RL offers, the Real Life relationship is inevitably going to have more depth and solidity.

Long distance relationships are real.  There's no question about that in my mind.  Heck, I lived one for a year and change with my wife before she moved and we got married.  But talking to her every day on the phone was not the same as living together.

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On 10/19/2020 at 9:48 PM, norajulian said:

I feel like the connections are real, but I never demand to know people’s RL situations, nor do I tell my own for the most part. One of my dearest friends in SL has been a constant in my SL since 2011, and I’ve never heard her voice, nor do I know anything about her RL beyond the country she lives in.. and that’s okay with me. 

Males roleplaying females in second life can't eva get on voice.

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10 minutes ago, JuliaFina said:

Males roleplaying females in second life can't eva get on voice.

Typical thinking that anyone who doesn't voice is playing the opposite gender.  People DO have reasons besides that for not using it.

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3 minutes ago, JuliaFina said:

Males roleplaying females in second life can't eva get on voice.

   Sure they can.

   There are plenty of applications that you can use to distort your voice through a computer, and whilst most of them (such as the ones found within SL) tend to be quite bad (i.e. making it sound very artificial), it's not particularly difficult to do if you really wanted to.

   It's also not that difficult for a man to learn how to do a fairly convincing female impression with a little bit of vocal training, if that's something one would really want to do. Combining the two, using say Clownfish and practicing a bit, it wouldn't at all be difficult to trick people.

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23 minutes ago, RowanMinx said:

Typical thinking that anyone who doesn't voice is playing the opposite gender.  People DO have reasons besides that for not using it.

Well she didn't really say that was the only reason for it. For the most part what she said is true, but I have had some male friends on here that play females use a voice changer and I am like dude get that thing away from me. You sound like a freaking robot. lol :D

When it comes to relationships I think peoples personalities mirror their RL ones. I've had friends try and argue that point, but I've yet to actually be proven wrong. I mean if your a jerk on SL then odds are your a jerk in RL too. lol That's just my opinion though. I think SL relationships take more work in the trust dept. then they do in RL personally. In RL if your other half is on the phone you generally can hear who she is talking to even if you don't pay it any attention. In SL if your other half is on the phone (Meanings IM's.) then realistically you have no real way of knowing if that person is doing shady crap behind your back. So I think it takes a lot more trust if you ask me. :)

And I've had some female friends get funny and complain about their guy asking them who they are talking to. I am like look here. If you was sitting in the same room that dude wouldn't care, but when you go clack clack clack for like 30 or 40 minutes on voice in that dudes ear and be giggling your behind off then it's kind of a no brainier that he is gonna eventually break down and ask who the heck your talking to. lol The fun part for me is when those same friends complain about their guy doing the same exact thing they are doing and giving them the same exact response they give when they wanna know some stuff. lol :D

One thing I know for sure. I am so glad I am not them. If my SL wife wants to chat away with someone then I am like knock yourself out honey. That's just gives me more time to play Fortnite if she's not on there with me already doing the pow pow pew pew thing. Lmao!!!! :D;)

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I stopped doing voice several months after I started.  I honestly don’t want to hear someone’s voice. Some times the voice isn't  what you expected.  I like typing text.  It is more immersive for me.  I quit accepting RL pics after the girl i was dating in SL said she and her RL hubby were swingers.  Then she mentioned her piercings.  I got some pics and was nearly blinded and scarred for life.

Edited by ballparkdogg
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11 hours ago, JuliaFina said:

Males roleplaying females in second life can't eva get on voice.

Depends on their comfort level. My SL mom is male behind the monitor and will voice (does not use a morpher) and RP daily. It doesn’t bother me a bit. RL gender is a non-issue with this particular user. 😉

Edited by norajulian
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this is a great conversation starter. But its very much an "Each to there Own" thing.  I am now living with my man i met in SL, ive been with  him for 6 years in RL, we knew each other for a little over a year in all in SL before we met up, we still both play SL currently and tho we work together in SL as landscape designers & deco , we arent partnered in SL and we dont do the relationship thing of happy family s , or dinner date in SL, sometimes we go to friends partys or live music together but not very often. We feel we dont need to show we are a couple to people in SL, we have RL for that. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I don't belive any relationship is built the same, off or online. Because it varies because no single person on earth  acts the exact same way towards other people.  Nor does everyone act the same way in general. (Thank goodness imagine how boring that would be in the long term?)

Some key points remain the same for building good relationships. Honesty, communication, consent, mutual respect. But what each person wants and what each realtionship needs to succeed varies wildly.
An online realtionship will have different needs and hurdles then an offline one. But both are equally real. They're just different. Like the differnces between a polyarmous and monogamous relationship.  The differences between a realtionship between two or more asexuals vs an allosexual and asexual or aromantic realtionship.

The key to a realtionship failing or suceeding depends entirely on inviduals. For some sl realtionships just can't work out because its not their thing or bad experiences. For others like myself it xan be just as fulfiling as an offline one. It all depends in those in it and how they act with each other.

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They can be, I know there are people who have married the people they met in SL, and people who re-marry their RL spouse in SL. There are also quite a lot of people who start their relationships out as long distant relationships.

It truely depends on who the people are though. Some people just seek a relationship in SL and leave it at that, could be they are not ready for a RL relationship, or perhaps there are reasons why they cannot partake in a RL relationship.

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On 10/23/2020 at 1:57 AM, Jordan Whitt said:

This chick had had 3 partners in 4 months (red flag much?).

LOL, my friend used to have a different partner every week. We couldn't keep track! It was very hard to remember who was who.

She sometimes got a full SL wedding out of them too xD

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On 10/25/2020 at 12:49 PM, Damian Mills said:

SecondLife is akin to a telephone call...  a bit of technology inserted between two people just like the telephony system.

It can be, but it can also be like a stage, where different actors with various personal lives, gather together to tell a story, where each one takes on a different personality and plays a role, that may be radically different than there odd stage persona.

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Straight up no. If you have a "relationship" in a virtual world, and you never take that relationship into the real world, it's pure fantasy until you do. It is not the same thing as real life in any way whatsoever, because you don't know a person until you've actually met them face to face. Until that happens, you can only build up an expectation or image in your mind of what you *think* the person is like depending on what they've told you, which may or may not be BS.

I don't even think it's healthy to become overly attached to someone on Second Life that you know you're never going to meet in person, especially if you're just using it as a replacement for a real life connection.

Edited by Galactikat
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I’ve been in a LONG term SL relationship and I love the other Human very much.

But...

”Are SL relationships the same as RL?”

Not really, because = Alts

I’ve been (counting my Original) in SL since 2005. One recurring theme has been; “I thought everything was good, then I learned about my Lover/Partner/SO’s alt and their whole other life - and I feel betrayed.”

Bigamists are a thing in Real Life, but SL makes it a lot easier for those so-inclined.

SL can be a great enabler for those who treat their relationships and lovers as Disposable, so my thought is this; if you find someone good - treat them good 🙂

You can easily stress out over the possibilities, so either not caring or  learning to deal with that is probably the secret of a Long Term SL Relationship.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Yes you have a feeling , Energy and emotion . All those things. Everyone has a story, their feeling's of real whatever that is between them if it's sl or first life.  Love is rare but it can happen. But you will find it unexpected when you least expect it.

 

But when it comes to real and meeting in first life.  You meet a few times in that year to see if the same as was that they treat you good.

 

But his one rule was let's date for 6 months getting to know each other in courtship if works out meet in real for a few weeks.  We exchanged that trust. He arranged  for me to come and see him do his work he could not.  A  2 hour flight was on my way.  He treated me like a princess in real life but courted me and took me on dates as he did in second life.  I went back and asked me to come see him again in the fall. He wanted to arrange that for a few weeks. So I went back in the fall to see him. In reality he said he wanted to ask to marry and have an engagement. His next rule was I come down see him the third time he would partner me on second life he wanted me all to himself.   So we agreed to still take it slow so I went back and forth for 3 more years as the relationship lasted 3 years. He wanted me to move in with him but I was not ready for that feeling and the relationship changed. We later stayed friends even though we went our separate ways.   That was 2014 to 2016. 

 

Keeping communication , Honesty , Commitment  , Making time , effect , Trust , Vulnerability , Upfront when it becomes time , Exchange of energy , Showing up. Meet halfway or in the middle and arrange it and show up. Both show the blue prints. 

Maybe it could be this but that is up to you.

 

 

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by Christina Mysterious
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