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1 hour ago, Sabrina Tamerlane said:

I think that being here is the most important. Most of my friendships that broke were because either I or the other didn't log often enough.

Part of that is/could be the "pump and dump" that goes on in SL.  I'm not saying by you but by others.  Once pixel sex happens, they don't log in again.  You were a notch in their game and nothing more.  

Which leads me to think 'respect' is the most important.  Respecting each other as best as possible.   If someone says they are not candy as I do, then simply respect that.  If someone says they want to be treated as candy, it's up to them - it's their life.  

I love hanging with tinies as many are a couple in real life and it avoids so much drama, even the SL broken-hearted kind.  Just respect one another as best as possible is probably very, very important.  Let people have their own boundaries or lack thereof to explore fantasies.  If the other avatar asks for truth though and you just want fantasy, it doesn't sound like a good friendship in the first place.  

Edited by FairreLilette
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Time. Respect the times you can be with eachother and those times you cannot. If that respect is lost, friendships will end soon.

I think there is another factor as well, many men seem to want to know that they made a girl have an orgasm. I mean really? If I do I did it with my finger, it wasn't you. I actually had a guy tell me

Honesty.

4 hours ago, Orwar said:

   I'm going to cheat an go with compatibility.

   Wanting the same thing from a relationship. Having similar sexual desires. Having and wanting a similar amount of 'together-time'. There being a mutual sufficiency of attraction. Being on comparable conversational levels. 

   You (generally) can't expect to build a successful, long-term relationship based on a single thing being right, if there are several things mounting against it - heck, often relationships that have several things going for it break apart due to a single flaw that either or both parties find unacceptable.

You make a very good point though, plus compatibility is a key factor in most things, especially when it comes to how succesful a relationship can be and how easy it is to get along with the other person. This is a good answer

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On 10/12/2020 at 9:39 PM, RowanMinx said:

The gender issue for a lot of people only has to do with slex.  Men (mostly) don't want to even consider they might be bumping pixels with a female avatar run by a man.  Partly why you see a lot asking for voice verification.  If you're not concerned with slex, not sure why you'd even ask or need to know someone's RL sex.

Its nice to be able to relate to a friend in SL thats not playing some game or pretending to be someone they are not

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4 minutes ago, ballparkdogg said:

Its nice to be able to relate to a friend in SL thats not playing some game or pretending to be someone they are not

This is well said, thank you for saying that. I do agree with you that making a friend who is genuine and that is not just playing some game is always good to have.

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Most important part of relationships.... That is a truly difficult answer to give. From perceptive to reality stance, there are so many answers, society values, mores, norms list goes on to be able to pin point just one answer. IF willing to take more than one answer, for me it would be trust and respect. Without those two things I believe any and all relationships of any kind are doomed to fail. Communication plays into both while also complicates both. Though people say they respect the other persons views and like, yet they are judgemental and not able to see things for what they really are.... as for trust, There are people that manipulate and use others so effectivelly as there is no bound to trust in their actions, but those that take time and really know the other person can be able to state that there is no manipulation/etc in their feelings of respect. Thus to me both trust and respect are needed, but they are built over time.

 

That answer you enough about how I view things?

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49 minutes ago, druebey said:

Most important part of relationships.... That is a truly difficult answer to give. From perceptive to reality stance, there are so many answers, society values, mores, norms list goes on to be able to pin point just one answer. IF willing to take more than one answer, for me it would be trust and respect. Without those two things I believe any and all relationships of any kind are doomed to fail. Communication plays into both while also complicates both. Though people say they respect the other persons views and like, yet they are judgemental and not able to see things for what they really are.... as for trust, There are people that manipulate and use others so effectivelly as there is no bound to trust in their actions, but those that take time and really know the other person can be able to state that there is no manipulation/etc in their feelings of respect. Thus to me both trust and respect are needed, but they are built over time.

 

That answer you enough about how I view things?

Rome wasn't built in a day and neither is a good relationship.. I add forgiveness to equation. 

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To me those are the basics, everything else may or may not develop (both relationships and friends):

1. Freedom. I am typically very busy, I can not have friends which demand time or think I somewhat owe them time. I prefer non-possessive friends who are still my friends even if I haven't seen them for months.

2. Take me at face value. Caroline is my virtual personality. What you see is what you get.

3. Accept the whole package. Including my very my very liberal SL  livestyle. It won't change, no matter how hard you try.

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9 hours ago, Caroline Takeda said:

To me those are the basics, everything else may or may not develop (both relationships and friends):

1. Freedom. I am typically very busy, I can not have friends which demand time or think I somewhat owe them time. I prefer non-possessive friends who are still my friends even if I haven't seen them for months.

2. Take me at face value. Caroline is my virtual personality. What you see is what you get.

3. Accept the whole package. Including my very my very liberal SL  livestyle. It won't change, no matter how hard you try.

In my friendships and relationships, I prefer a balance. Maintaining freedom, but still making time to chat or spend time together. I need to work in SL, so it can't be all fun and games. even though I consider my work fun lol!!! And I understand others need time for themselves as well.

 

Edited by Bagnu
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On 10/17/2020 at 6:36 PM, Nalates Urriah said:

How honest can we be in a fantasy?

Honesty within the fantasy. If we have a fantasy relationship then you need to be honest with me about things within SL. Of course your fantasy might be to cheat and lie to me about it. Which of course would mean that I would get very angry and upset with you. Of course that anger is only in the fantasy. In RL we are good.

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My personality is basically the same in SL as RL.  So honesty exists there. And I do believe that our friendships here are real. Unless of course the friendship is being faked for personal gain. I think that's not the majority though, fortunately.

Edited by Bagnu
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11 hours ago, Talligurl said:

Honesty within the fantasy. If we have a fantasy relationship then you need to be honest with me about things within SL. Of course your fantasy might be to cheat and lie to me about it. Which of course would mean that I would get very angry and upset with you. Of course that anger is only in the fantasy. In RL we are good.

There is always the saying that truth is stranger than fiction, and fiction is more truth than lies.... In many cases, unless you get to know the other person and they let down their "guards" one does not ever know the complete picture. I will state, I dont let my guard down easily and nor do I expect others to. I though if asked a question answer it honestly and without warrant I will tell someone off if they ask something that is beyond their scope of level of trust. For this reason most people, I do say humans alot when talking to people I am free with, do not like conversing with me... I am overly blunt and very honest(from many of my ex friends statements and reasons for discontinuing friendships/relationships). I will say, that even if I was to look at my like objectivewise, I would state that it is stranger than fiction and fantasy cant even begin to explain the things I have been exposed to. 

That being said, I am not tooting my own horn, as much as trying to rely fact that fantasy has its own reasonings, just as reality has its own laws and norms. So whose to really state that fantasy is fiction, when the reality of it is that each aspect is governed by a underlying law/norm/etc?

2 hours ago, Bagnu said:

My personality is basically the same in SL as RL.  So honesty exists there. And I do believe that our friendships here are real. Unless of course the friendship is being faked for personal gain. I think that's not the majority though, fortunately.

Even in what most people call Real Life, there are fakers, scammers, etc.... So in affect you abide by the same constructs in SL as in RL? I am asking to make sure I am understanding it correctly... As if you are, than truthfully you understand and comprehend Real life and online perceptions being equally adjusted for ones own perception, unless I am understanding something.

Opps sorry there, went a bit into deeper concepts, apologize if it was too far, but concepts that presented themselves had to be questioned and i hope that discussion on these points can be continued. cough cough, why do people always state they dont like me because I dont know how to be "normal" cough cough :D

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"As if you are, than truthfully you understand and comprehend Real life and online perceptions being equally adjusted for ones own perception"

Please clarify. Are you trying to say that our perception of both SL and RL is based on our basic perception of things?

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I am not sure what druebey is trying to say, but maybe it is related to this, which I believe to be true. You cannot make your avi just like you in RL, because the are different, and you see each of them from a different perspective. The only way you can make two things identical is to look at them both from the exact same perspective. Since you cannot truly view your RL self and your avi from the same perspective you cannot make them identical. They may appear to be the same from the perspectives available to you, but from someone elses perspective they may not be.

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3 hours ago, Caroline Takeda said:

"Give somebody a mask and they will show their true face."

very true, isn't it?

Lol, in a lot of ways my true face is very similar to my mask. The way my personality is described in SL is the way I'm described in RL. The sexuality toned down a bit due to others....

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16 hours ago, Bagnu said:

"As if you are, than truthfully you understand and comprehend Real life and online perceptions being equally adjusted for ones own perception"

Please clarify. Are you trying to say that our perception of both SL and RL is based on our basic perception of things?

First off let me say sorry for late response, as the responses a day gimick on the forum got ahold of me, I can only give three a day it seems :(

To answer question though, its more the perpectus that is shown by your words is more apt to be reality vs perceptional reality and thus why i stated what I did. As per reality never changes but perceptional reality(what most call reality or perception) always changes due to circumstance or situational awareness

14 hours ago, Talligurl said:

I am not sure what druebey is trying to say, but maybe it is related to this, which I believe to be true. You cannot make your avi just like you in RL, because the are different, and you see each of them from a different perspective. The only way you can make two things identical is to look at them both from the exact same perspective. Since you cannot truly view your RL self and your avi from the same perspective you cannot make them identical. They may appear to be the same from the perspectives available to you, but from someone elses perspective they may not be.

It was close enough to warrent a response to this... yes the outside is not same, but at all times the inside always is. What you cited is a primary argument against internet annomity and thus that all people online are never themselves.... This is where people forget that there is a actual person at other end of the connection, and thus creates this vacum of if its not a person it has no feelings type of thing. 

Just for reference, that is not how I feel about internet at all... I feel that people are people and we should respect them as humans rather online or not.

7 hours ago, Caroline Takeda said:

"Give somebody a mask and they will show their true face."

very true, isn't it?

For most people it is true, but for me it is less so. I have worn physically and mentally many masks in past, and just now am taking some off... that being said, i am the same rather online or not. It is not about mask to me or not, it is rather i trust the person truly or not.

4 hours ago, Bagnu said:

Lol, in a lot of ways my true face is very similar to my mask. The way my personality is described in SL is the way I'm described in RL. The sexuality toned down a bit due to others....

I am who I am... Most call me many things ranging from good things to bad... Most I can accept, some I refute with passion, but at end of day. Those that are closest to me know and state the engima that is me is me. I dont hide my past nor beliefs, nor do i expose them purposely. If ashamed of part of yourself or need tone it down, maybe theres smore to it. myself, screw humans... All they ever have done is thought of themselves and never tried to enlighten themselves to matters beyond what they currently understand. *a guip that i put out alot when talking to people i really trust*. If people only use 5 senses to engage in life, they are surely lacking in perceptional reality understandings, but alas that goes into topics more and more people are more inclined to avoid(cough cough i am far from politically correct crowd but not a complete ass cough cough

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