Pearl Worried

[Bagnu]

40 minutes ago, Jordan Whitt said:

I know her younger sister and actually met her once at a party.

OMG!!! Ttat's awesome!!

[Bagnu]

58 minutes ago, Jordan Whitt said:

I have to say that I am confused by the exchange where @Amina Sopwith says you don't try to understand us, and you reply that you are trying to.  My example is coming from the recent thread about posting pictures with recognisable people.  You got very mixed responses in that thread.  Some comical and fun, but most were indignant that you even had to ask that.  Your replies flip flopped all over the place and you seemed to contradict yourself several times and to not really care about the moral issues brought up.  Then when things weren't going your way, you appeared to throw your toys out of the crib and left the thread after saying "I got my answer"...to a question even a child would know was a huge "yeah...no!"

And from the encounters I have had and seen you have with others, I (again) have to agree with @Amina Sopwith that I honestly don't think you are taking in what we're saying...as so eloquently vocalised by @Seicher Rae.  

As I said previously, there is only one person on these boards I would say that I hate.  There are several I may even dislike.  I try not to attach emotions to my postings or I would be a bigger basket case than I already am.

I'm human. I can contradict myself sometimes, as do we all. So even a child would know? Well I didn't , so I asked. You probably read how that has been to my advantage through my education. There are no questions that we shouldn't ask if we don't know the actual answer. I'm not here to please or displease anyone. I'm simply myself. I have no enemies, but have made some very dear friends!!!

I mean on the forums. Obviously not inworld. You know what I mean.

And even though you are quite vehement at opposing me, I actually like you, as i said before.

Edited August 31, 2020 by Bagnu

[Amina Sopwith]

2 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Pearl is completely inoffensive.

I don't mean to drag stuff up (honestly), but this really isn't historically true and some people have indicated that their hackles are still a bit up about it.

Is it '"offensive" to continually engineer situations to get the attention of a community on the lamest pretexts, while completely ignoring its response and making posts that indicate that you don't think much of it? (In this case, once again accusing us of being judgemental over a profession and then of being horrible people who will victimise individuals for their friendships?) Or bringing up the distress that one felt after some unpleasant incidents as justification for yet more transmit-only projection, while completely forgetting the distress one caused at the same time? Some might say no, but I think there's a case for it. 

 

[Lewis Luminos]

3 hours ago, Bagnu said:

I likely will never figure out how to stop annoying people though. That's just me.

And this is the proof, right here, that you really are posting on transmit-only and you are unwilling to pay any attention to what people say back to you. 

You've been told, over and over again, how to stop annoying people, and you still do it. Every. Single. Day.

[Tari Landar]

3 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

And, really, this is why I don't get the hostility here. Pearl is completely inoffensive. Annoying? Maybe, but that's subjective. She's not attacked anyone, either as an individual or a class.

Bull-pucky

Many have been offended by things she has said, they have even stated such. Even if one later backpedals and pretends to say sorry, the offensive words were never removed. Even after it was pointed out, numerous times, that something was extremely, not just a little bit, offensive, we got he "oh I didn't mean to...but". I don't like caveats like that, in fact, they bug the crap out of me. It's probably a flaw in my own character, but that screams disingenuous to me, screams so loudly that I simply can't hear anything else said. To top it off, it was later learned that the offensive thing she pretended she was simply relaying from others was never actually said to her at all, and she made it up.

Bugger that, she HAS been offensive, seriously offensive, to a whole, rather big, class of people. I don't give a fig how many weren't offended, or even how many within that class that weren't, or aren't, offended, if  even SOME people are....that makes you offensive.

I don't hate her, in fact I hate very few things and even less people, it's a really, really strong word. But my being offended by previous actions(words) on the forums is forever going to skew my bias in a negative manner, as I would expect happens to most people when they've been offended by someone (especially when the offense was a total fabrication by the offender...). Sigh, I'm not making myself any less offended the more I stew about it.

I'm certain you weren't trying to say people can't or shouldn't be offended by the things she says, but I'm willing to bet some might read it that way. She may not be offensive to you, or whoever else, but she very much has offended me and I know she's offended others. I consider what was said an attack. I've tried to put my opinions as diplomatically as I can, even admitting that I am judgmental, while still trying to answer questions. It gets increasingly difficult when people try to pretend that past offenses never occurred though. I still try, though I am starting to agree with others that it is more likely an exercise in futility (I'm also a glutton for punishment apparently)

I'm a grudge holder, sometimes (in this case, very much so, it was that offensive to me, it's only actually happened a few times in my entire existence on these forums to the extent that I can't let it go), which is also a massive character flaw on my part, but, not really one I've had nearly as much success removing as I'd like to.

 

[Luna Bliss]

Wow...this is really going off the rails.

Pearl has never bugged me, and apparently quite a few people feel the same, or at least don't feel more bugged by her than anybody else.

A solution...why don't those who feel so annoyed by her just block her!   I don't have anybody blocked myself but if somebody affected me the degree some of you are affected I'd block them in a heartbeat.

[Amina Sopwith]

1 minute ago, Luna Bliss said:

A solution...why don't those who feel so annoyed by her just block her!   

I addressed this way back. Even if someone does block her, she still posts frequently enough, and in such a manner, that she affects the overall tone of the place. Indeed, she's indicated that that's her intention; she wants to be the focus of the forum's attention.

It may not be against the forum rules per se, in much the same way that running into the living room every ten minutes at a house party and shouting, "I'm drunk! This is my job! You'd better not hurt my friends! Don't judge me for my job! I don't understand why the people in the kitchen are so boring! Don't judge people who like me despite my job!", all while ignoring everyone else in the room except to complain that they've offended you, isn't against the law. But it's very very antisocial and if you move to the kitchen to avoid it, you'll probably still find the party is being affected by it.

 

[Luna Bliss]

2 minutes ago, Amina Sopwith said:

10 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

A solution...why don't those who feel so annoyed by her just block her!   

I addressed this way back. Even if someone does block her, she still posts frequently enough, and in such a manner, that she affects the overall tone of the place. Indeed, she's indicated that that's her intention; she wants to be the focus of the forum's attention.

It may not be against the forum rules per se, in much the same way that running into the living room every ten minutes at a house party and shouting, "I'm drunk! This is my job! You'd better not hurt my friends! Don't judge me for my job! I don't understand why the people in the kitchen are so boring! Don't judge people who like me despite my job!", all while ignoring everyone else in the room except to complain that they've offended you, isn't against the law. But it's very very antisocial and if you move to the kitchen to avoid it, you'll probably still find the party is being affected by it.

Well I like how she affects the forum. She's a breath of fresh air. Maybe the fuddy-duddies should just block her if it's so important to have some kind of correct format.  I get bugged by abusive people easily -- Pearl is not that no matter how intent you are to make her so. Really, this is one of the strangest things I've seen on a forum -- it's like you want to destroy her very soul, the essence of who she is.   Block and have some peace! The rest of us will deal with her occasional "odd" thread she starts.

[Bagnu]

41 minutes ago, Lewis Luminos said:

And this is the proof, right here, that you really are posting on transmit-only and you are unwilling to pay any attention to what people say back to you. 

You've been told, over and over again, how to stop annoying people, and you still do it. Every. Single. Day.

I'm simply annoying. That's my personality.

[Tari Landar]

23 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

Maybe the fuddy-duddies should just block her if it's so important to have some kind of correct format.  I get bugged by abusive people easily

So do those of us that were offended, or are offended. You argued until you were blue in the face that it wasn't offensive, because YOU weren't personally offended,and were certain you knew others that wouldn't be. That doesn't negate the offense others felt, and nothing you say will change that. 

If it makes me a fuddy duddy to be offended when someone says something offensive about those who have disabilities, then I will be a fuddy duddy until the day I die. You don't get to dictate what does and does not offend others, regardless of how it affects you (or doesn't).

I can both be offended by a person and still converse with them, despite my personal negative bias. I am not about to speak for others, but I am sick and tired of being told to block people just because I express that something they do or have done, bothers/bothered me. It's not the be all end all of every encounter, it's merely something that exists. When I close the forums, or go to another thread, it's not something that torments me to the point it causes stress. It annoys the crap out of me when dealing with people that continually brush it off as if it never happened (I'll refer back to my first paragraph). But that's par for the course on forums, imo. 

I still try to be diplomatic even when my internal self is screaming at me to just tell someone off, because I know they probably both need and deserve to be told off. I'm not always nearly as successful at this endeavor as I think I am, but I make a concerted effort, even if the other person doesn't really deserve it(or, I feel they don't). I don't think you're any more successful at being diplomatic towards others as you think you are either. In fact, I don't think anyone is. Okay, maybe a few people are pretty successful more often than not. 

There's nothing wrong with telling someone something they do is being conveyed, understood, read, perceived, taken, etc.. poorly.  It could be reader perception, it could be the delivery, it could be the intent of the person delivering the message (in this case, I honestly believe it's more the latter 2). There's also nothing wrong with getting in a discussion as to why it's happening, even if one party, or both, seems to be banging their head on the proverbial brick wall. I'm fairly certain that is why most people haven't actually blocked people they dislike, because they do still make a diplomatic effort (at least sometimes) and still want to converse with even the most thick of skulls.  Sometimes patterns, and peoples (yes, peoples) change, given enough proverbial brick walls. Sometimes not. I'm not someone that discounts someone entirely until or unless I find, as a human being, they have no merit left. I've yet to find someone like that in life, anywhere, oddly, even the people towards whom I have seemingly nothing but animosity. I'm an odd duck, though, and don't expect that others would do, or feel, the same.  That all simply means I have no qualms telling someone when they've offended me, why they've offended me and if I think something they're doing is stupid/wrong/whatever negative connotation it might have.

If no one ever tells you that you're annoying, how can you ever not be? The only reason any of my posts have white space at all is because people told me to knock it off, kindly and otherwise (ad it was well deserved). I'm still not concise, but at least I have white space now  

 

 

 

Edited August 31, 2020 by Tari Landar

[Luna Bliss]

1 minute ago, Bagnu said:

I'm simply annoying. That's my personality.

I think you said inworld you don't experience such hostility -- does that mean you're not annoying there or do people just accept you better inworld and in RL?

[Luna Bliss]

1 minute ago, Tari Landar said:

fuddy duddy

TMI, too long, can't read, hurts eyes...

[Tari Landar]

1 minute ago, Luna Bliss said:

TMI, too long, can't read, hurts eyes...

 

[Alwin Alcott]

4 hours ago, Bagnu said:

I don't think you would dislike any of my close friends.

wanna bet? ...

[Alwin Alcott]

21 minutes ago, Bagnu said:

I'm simply annoying. That's my personality.

it's a choice

[Jordyn McGregor]

 

37 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

I get bugged by abusive people easily -- Pearl is not that no matter how intent you are to make her so. Really, this is one of the strangest things I've seen on a forum -- it's like you want to destroy her very soul, the essence of who she is.   Block and have some peace! The rest of us will deal with her occasional "odd" thread she starts.

No-one has ever said @Bagnu is abusive.  I have to agree with something I saw @Scylla Rhiadra said a while back (and paraphrased by me as I cannot be blowed looking for it), she has always maintained a light hearted dignity when we do disagree with her.  No-one is trying to "destroy her soul" or the "essence of who she is"...that is the most ridiculous thing I have seen said! 

Over and over again, EVERYONE has REPEATEDLY said we accept and don't care WHO or WHAT she is!  You do you booboo.  However, she has SAID things that have offended people.  The disabled person comments, then the moral quagmire about taking sexytimes pics with someone recognisable and seemingly not knowing that it's wrong.    

@Bagnu has also said I am always popping up to give my two cents and judgment of what she is up to now (again paraphrased) and in some threads I can be scathing in my criticism of what is being said, and in others, I interact quite pleasantly with her.  I do not hate her, and I do not actively dislike her.  I dislike some of the things she says however.  BIG DIFFERENCE.  

It's become such a scary world where people cannot talk anymore without one side shouting the other down and "cancelling" their rights to have a different opinion and viewpoint on a subject.  

[Bagnu]

11 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

I think you said inworld you don't experience such hostility -- does that mean you're not annoying there or do people just accept you better inworld and in RL?

I'm very annoying  both in RL and SL. People accept it better. But I have a very good heart, and some people can see it. .

[Bagnu]

Just now, Jordan Whitt said:

 

No-one has ever said @Bagnu is abusive.  I have to agree with something I saw @Scylla Rhiadra said a while back (and paraphrased by me as I cannot be blowed looking for it), she has always maintained a light hearted dignity when we do disagree with her.  No-one is trying to "destroy her soul" or the "essence of who she is"...that is the most ridiculous thing I have seen said! 

Over and over again, EVERYONE has REPEATEDLY said we accept and don't care WHO or WHAT she is!  You do you booboo.  However, she has SAID things that have offended people.  The disabled person comments, then the moral quagmire about taking sexytimes pics with someone recognisable and seemingly not knowing that it's wrong.    

@Bagnu has also said I am always popping up to give my two cents and judgment of what she is up to now (again paraphrased) and in some threads I can be scathing in my criticism of what is being said, and in others, I interact quite pleasantly with her.  I do not hate her, and I do not actively dislike her.  I dislike some of the things she says however.  BIG DIFFERENCE.  

It's become such a scary world where people cannot talk anymore without one side shouting the other down and "cancelling" their rights to have a different opinion and viewpoint on a subject.  

Jordan. try and relax a bit. You can't let yourself get this worked up.

[Luna Bliss]

6 minutes ago, Bagnu said:

I'm very annoying  both in RL and SL. People accept it better. But I have a very good heart, and some people can see it. .

What do you think makes you annoying?   If you care to share...

[Jordyn McGregor]

2 minutes ago, Bagnu said:

Jordan. try and relax a bit. You can't let yourself get this worked up.

Oh believe me, I'm not worked up.  Just gotten home from work and debating cooking dinner and in a wonderful mood actually.  Like I said before, I do try not to attach my emotions to these boards or I will just up and leave.  

I just don't like being told I am a "soul killer" just because I disagree with something.

[Bagnu]

Just now, Luna Bliss said:

What do you think makes you annoying?   If you care to share...

I talk endlessly...And bring up subjects like I have here.

[Amina Sopwith]

Well, now that we know you also hang your identity on being annoying, we can be sure that you'll cling on to every antisocial and self-serving behaviour, and then claim that it's your job/sexuality that we can't handle. All with claims to hate toxicity.

I don't find any of this to be good hearted at all, I'm afraid. In fact, the more it goes on, the more I'm actually starting to find it not merely contrived or just tone deaf, but actually manipulative. 

[Luna Bliss]

6 minutes ago, Bagnu said:

7 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

What do you think makes you annoying?   If you care to share...

I talk endlessly...And bring up subjects like I have here.

To me it just feels like you're exploring, but so many here don't do that -- instead they state apparent truths with certainty, and no doubt what you're doing seems strange.  And I see you as more of an extrovert, and extroverts do tend to talk more. This is you, and this is why I say when people want you to change these things they are trying to kill the essence of who you are.

Edited August 31, 2020 by Luna Bliss

[Bagnu]

Just now, Jordan Whitt said:

Oh believe me, I'm not worked up.  Just gotten home from work and debating cooking dinner and in a wonderful mood actually.  Like I said before, I do try not to attach my emotions to these boards or I will just up and leave.  

I just don't like being told I am a "soul killer" just because I disagree with something.

Don't worry about it. It happens. these are the forums. I've learned that, and I'm new. It's sometimes hard for me to retain my composure, but I manage. And so can you!!!

[So Whimsy]

44 minutes ago, Bagnu said:

I'm simply annoying. That's my personality.

And it's never once occured to you to maybe...you know..try to change it? You control what your fingers do when typing up a new thread/reply, sometimes it's better to simply remove your hands from the keyboard instead.