Finding a good man

[rose9991sl 5]

Hi i am finding a man who is okay with me in sl and rl as a normal friend. No love required as a couple due to bad experince.

[Paul Hexem 2,653]

You know, they say good men are hard to find!

Or is it hard men are good to find?

[TDD123 7,444]

38 minutes ago, Paul Hexem said:

You know, they say good men are hard to find!

Or is it hard men are good to find?

I think I'm a good man and it' s hard ...

 

... to be found ..

 

... a good man.

Edited August 18, 2020 by TDD123

[Talligurl 41,831]

2 hours ago, Paul Hexem said:

Or is it hard men are good to find?

It seems most of the men I find in SL are hard. 

There isn't really anything good about it.

[Nick0678 2,182]

Let me give you some advice.

Best thing to do is socialize in second life and eventually you will find a man or woman or whatever.

You can see many women in SL that are 60+ years old and every few months have a new partner so if they can do it you can do it as well.

It really is very easy as long as you are a social person

[rose9991sl 5]

I already try to social with people but because i am asian they put in the position where they want to say bad things about my culture till i do not want to talk to people.

 

[Nick0678 2,182]

14 minutes ago, rose9991sl said:

I already try to social with people but because i am asian they put in the position where they want to say bad things about my culture till i do not want to talk to people.

Ok if they don't like Asians there's nothing wrong  to tell those people to go f*ck themselves..Actually regardless of gender it might be a very useful thing to do and healthy for them. (It does clear the mind from negative energy)

I think you should first look for some girls to hang around with/have fun and then you will find in time a dude to play SL or whatever.

Edited August 19, 2020 by Nick0678

[CharlieAnneRoads 5]

6 hours ago, Talligurl said:

It seems most of the men I find in SL are hard. 

There isn't really anything good about it.

*Narrows eyes* This made me laugh so hard I choked on my dr. pepper. I blame you for my burning nostrils.

[Christina Mysterious 162]

 

 

How about finding the good version of you knowing your worth Don't rely on finding anyone  find the good in you. 

Find yourself first don't find someone to complete you build a freindship evolve with yourself. 

Work to make yourself the right person for you, and the right person will be drawn to you based on the work that you've done for yourself. Set boundaries only those that respect earn the energy and trust that is exchanged. Fine to talk to people don't have to friend everyone come arcross you will meet many. You don't have to explain yourself just be yourself they need to get to know you not push you or rush you they should respect you in every way. 

 

 

 

Edited August 19, 2020 by Christina Mysterious

[rose9991sl 5]

thanks for your advice will consider and find a place in sl with positive people

[Caroline Takeda 570]

17 hours ago, rose9991sl said:

Hi i am finding a man who is okay with me in sl and rl as a normal friend. No love required as a couple due to bad experience.

The fact that you explicitly ask for a man indicates there is a sexual aspect to it. Right?

[rose9991sl 5]

Nope sorry. Normal friends only.

[Alwin Alcott 11,426]

42 minutes ago, rose9991sl said:

Nope sorry. Normal friends only.

could be wise to add a little more to your search info, people often like to know a few things.. like what you said..just friends, what you like in sl ..

[rose9991sl 5]

i try but no response

[Talligurl 41,831]

2 hours ago, Caroline Takeda said:

The fact that you explicitly ask for a man indicates there is a sexual aspect to it. Right?

Maybe she just wants someone to hold her purse while she shops. 

[Ceka Cianci 7,471]

17 hours ago, Paul Hexem said:

You know, they say good men are hard to find!

Or is it hard men are good to find?

The good men are all taken and hard to find..

Hard men are good to find, but one that takes their time is worth the taking..

 

hehehe

[rose9991sl 5]

i see how depends on the guy. But most guy will talk bad about their gf.

[CharlieAnneRoads 5]

16 minutes ago, rose9991sl said:

i see how depends on the guy. But most guy will talk bad about their gf.

That's a horrible generalization. And not really true. There are plenty of good people, male or female, on SL who are amazing to know, as friends. You're also sending off some weird mixed signals, since you originally ask for a "male", but insist on the "friends" aspect, only to speak about guys talking bad about their girlfriends in this latest post. In all honesty being stuck in sucky relationships can ruin you for future ones, and I can understand that, to a degree, but you're not exactly starting off any potential "friendships" very well by immediately throwing out "Most guys" pre-juding determinations. Lol. Just saying.

[Nick0678 2,182]

44 minutes ago, rose9991sl said:

i see how depends on the guy. But most guy will talk bad about their gf.

Ok but if they like to think like that it is not your problem to solve or tell them what or how their character should be.

I could also say a lot of things about women or men regardless if RL or SL but generalizating and stereotyping is not a healthy way to think.

Best thing for you to do if you want to find people in SL to socialize with, is to write a few things about you in your profile, what you like to do in SL , what people you want to meet and such things. Your profile looks a bit empty for an almost 3 years SL account.

(*mine is also empty but i already have some people that i socialize with and i am not interested in having an SL girlfriend so there's no need to provide more info.)

Edited August 19, 2020 by Nick0678

[Zeotetra 80]

There is no perfect man or perfect woman or perfect box

Let me explain at first you think its perfect in time the crinkles appear the layers appear and then you realize even the box is not as sexy as it once was.
BUTT it is still a box and you remember all those memories and you know even with those imperfections that box is your box!

 

[Cinnamon Mistwood 1,160]

First, just ignore all the people laughing at you and making jokes.

It sounds like what you want is a friend.  Tell us what attributes a "good man" would have.  Honest, fun, tolerant,? Do you have a real life age range you want?  Do you expect this relationship to go to real life or SL only? How often do you log in? 

Then let us know what you like to do.  What are your interests?  Exploring? Science? Roleplay? Shopping?  Music (what genre)?

Is there a certain look you want besides male?  Mesh body?  Mesh head?  The latest trendy clothes?  Human?  Furry?

[MaxMare 118]

Basically, you are looking for a friend? Speaking of good men, I believe every man/woman are good to the right person, everyone "behaves" when it matters to them....I often hear ppl complain about being treated poorly by their partners only to see that same person, a few months later, being the perfect partner they always wanted but for someone else...

Here`s some general advice; f you meet someone you like, don`t push, don`t be too available, don`t be the one to initiate contact every time, let them come to you, let them seek your company....I would also steer clear from taken guys, if they are chatting up other girls and complaining about their partner, they aren`t looking for a friend, they are looking for a side piece...

and yes, I agree, you are sending mixed signals...not sure why gender even matters especially if you feel like there are no good men out there anyhow?

[Christina Mysterious 162]

I did go and read your profile in world. 

Says you are looking to find a partner in real life and sl who will love the same way. 

Second life Not dating platform more of a getaway to build a connection make a connection. 

Love has to become a friendship before it can become anything. 

I meet someone here in 2014 in summer of june we started in conversation and build a connection then he courted me for 6 months. We voice and go to places on here and cam in mature manner but really voiced more allow the bond to grow over time. After the 6 months we meet in real he arranged me me to come down do his job he had to stay thier.  I traveled the 2 hour flight from chicago ohare to houstin ,  texas.  Meeting it real we he still courted me did want to rush me but we wanted to make sure the feeling's was the same as online because even if you go real you still need to let it grow.   Want make sure they treat them same they are the same person.  He married me on second life months later.  We never married in real but we allowed it to grow it lasted 3 years. it can seem like happly ever after from the start mine was the way good times and some storms that going to be good days and bad days.   The relashinship I was in was not perfect I came to see him for second time I caught him being a closet drinker he would lie about it his attutde was changing he grow anger he get mad if I talked to friends thinking I was talking to a guy he had   narcissistic behavior times I say I wanted to leave he did want me to leave I put my suit case by the door he say lets go the beach make it better. Thing is he tried to get me happy but at the end of the day the feeling's just was not the same you can't put curtian over someone say its better.  I stayed because I tried to be devoted but my firend keep telling me you know this not good for your health.  It took me 3 years to break away to wake up and leave.   With someone has narcissistic behavior best not tell them whe when you are leave do it when you are going back home say my family needs some got sick because a narcissistic will try get not to leave.  You have to plan it out get out of thier make sure you have a backup plan saved money and friends numbers way getting back home not being stuck.  I forgave him moved on but never talked to him again best to lost contact all together.  His behavoir came from his ex she  minulated him told him to get rid of his dog and cat thing is anger can grow on someone he admited he needed to get help and change this after I forgave him we stopped talking.  Not everyone going to change they can only change for themself. 

Not everyone bad some people still growing and learning we do not see the signs why I have learn to read people.

Just have to know the signs how they treat you how they act they let you be you not try to change you make you do silly things or treat you like a slave. 

We are human on the other side we have feelings when its comes to online you have to be respected 

Don't rely on love to be your happiness to find someone find yourself first work on yourself so that person will see you as are.

I have seen many people have great success but they meet unexspected when they did even think or even look but they grow a bond and over time it became more. 

Person that gets intrested : They can control themself, you have to be mature enough to care for someone else, not everything is about the them. We have duties responsibilities, we have to know our limits. And are not Superman Wonder Woman etc, we are human. Guidance, Protection, Discipline out of love, Supportive, Lifting the person, Being their, Grown, Equal. Loves their self to love  and the other person . Respect, Agreed on. Romance , Class, manenrs ways.. Both ways of love.

Your inner self is who you really are on the inside. To know your inner self is to know your purpose, values, vision, goals, motivations, and beliefs. Not what you have been told by others, but what you have discovered for yourself. Knowing your inner self requires a high level of introspection and self-awareness.

 Keep looking not for a person but for your passion, Your Love, Your Courage, Your goals, your Dreams., your happiness, yourself. keep looking. Explore your worth before you explore another. know your worth. Know yourself only then will you know what you need over what you want. You need yourself to become your own.

I stopped looking and relying on love not looking or searching and staying busy I get bothered I just say thanks but I enjoy the freedom as this a getaway. 

 

After coming back from a long break. One gentlemen we got to talking had great conversation I told him not really looking he said I am not ether asked me to dance and he sang to me the whole night did not force anything on me but before he had to logg off  he says your cut as a button  I love to get with you and love you I told him sorry but that does fool me I said thanks for the time my offer still not looking. After he logged off I blocked him he crossed the line.  Yout gotta put your foot down keep your cool in any situation exit well.  Some like to fool you sweet you but don't fall for it go by sweet effect not sweet words. 

 

If you ever go real let them come to you or have friend go with you if they say looking to relocate don't fall for it don't want to move in right away you need to meet them a few times in real it going to take a year more growing. Want to know they are the same on the other side just as real. 

 

I wish you well on your journey. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited August 20, 2020 by Christina Mysterious

[rose9991sl 5]

thanks for your sorry. But i feel like i should dating a lot of men i saw cross the line and dump me.

[Nick0678 2,182]

4 hours ago, Christina Mysterious said:

I did go and read your profile in world. 

....etc

Nice story, I have dated some women from Second Life in RL.

The first one after 3 months talking in SL, we just met had some nice dinner and sex. Kept it going on for about 3 years, setting a date whenever we were in the mood.

The second one we had summer vacation together.

Plain and simple.