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Arguing and Fighting are Very Different


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On 8/15/2020 at 4:27 PM, Nick0678 said:

Exactly.

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ah but not everyone uses the same definition provided by such things and makes their own to suit their own needs. so that doesn't always work. or some use definitions provided by other sources like urban dictionary

which might have different meanings then other dictionaries.

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If I disagree with your opinion and say something, am I arguing, fighting, or just hungry?  🤔   You’re just not yourself when you’re hungry. 

Personally i consider online disagreements either as arguing due to whatever reason rage, boredom, lack of sex, etc or simply debating based on facts or even feelings. In order to consider it fig

FIFY

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7 hours ago, Drakonadrgora Darkfold said:

ah but not everyone uses the same definition provided by such things and makes their own to suit their own needs. so that doesn't always work. or some use definitions provided by other sources like urban dictionary

which might have different meanings then other dictionaries.

Yes but urban is mostly country/regional specific.

So for example since English is not my main language and i learned to speak according to cambridge university english language assessment, using the U.S slang or U.K slang or Australian slang would simply give someone an "F" on the FCE exams.They aren't considered official.

- Why were you late for your listening comprehension exams Nick?

- Dafuq u talmbout? It's 4:02 don't be a Karen!

(Get's an "F" , come again next year)

Edited by Nick0678
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I believe arguing is one's way to release wind, and fighting is one's way to defy the odds of trapped wind

So this stems down to who has the most wind and who will suffocate first.
With situations like this place a $20 note on the floor and walk away at a safe distance, observe quietly, to see if the 2 stop fighting and fight for the $20 instead.
 

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8 hours ago, Christina Mysterious said:

Liberty    

A Message For All Of Humanity - Charlie Chaplin

 

For being famous for silent movies, He sure was good at speaking..

That was raw as it gets..

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2 minutes ago, Ceka Cianci said:

For being famous for silent movies, He sure was good at speaking..

That was raw as it gets..

He sure was but i prefer Alan Fords way of debating using facts of course.

 

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3 minutes ago, Nick0678 said:

He sure was but i prefer Alan Fords way of debating using facts of course.

 

He was great in Snatch.

Just about everyone was  great in that movie also..But he was really great..hehehe

Also Brad Pitt..He had that Pike accent down pat..hehehe

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On 8/15/2020 at 5:16 PM, Nick0678 said:

 

Well if i start tweeting Mike Tyson and write bullsh*t to him that's not actually "fighting" with Mike Tyson, he would beat the sh*t out of me if that was the case.

We are arguing or whatever something that usually happens online and most of the time in most cases it is single sided because the other person simply has better things to do then pay attention to nonsense.

To be perfectly blunt, you really do have to call bull***** when it happens. I've dealt with bullies and abusive people that would make MIke Tyson seem tame (armed people will do that). It has to be done in a LOGICAL way. That makes people consider their own actions and how their perception can be harming others. Or themselves. Even if Mike Tyson knocks you out of the ring he'll have to face someone else later. At some point we have to look at ourselves and consider how we're affecting others. There's just no escaping that. You can't flee from yourself. And chances are you're contradicting yourself. It's for this reason that people you challenge can admire and respect you when you challenge them. Even if they had been abusive (emotionally or physically. Both apply) mere moments ago. Spines get respected. Cowardice does not. What's more if you flee that easily it shows a complete lack of ability to be there in hard times in general. Both have risks. But ultimately fleeing from a situation always bites you in the ass later. People that flee from situations will end up blocking you and unfriending you the moment they assume the worst of you. Because they can't face fear. They'll avoid and evade you because they see you as the worst person or someone that can't be fun and upbeat when not even given the chance. I do my best to give everyone the benefit of the doubt until I have crystal clear proof as to otherwise. And it pays off. Until you get the exceptions, but it happens. It's not "most people". Not unless someone is creating drama with their easily misplaced mistrust. Which, frankly, is on them. People will defend themselves when they feel like a target or lied too.

Then they end up being hard on themselves. But they did bring it on themselves by fearing the worst of others too easily. As I once did. The thing is when so many people tell you bull***** so often you can believe the lie. Then you bull***** yourself. Which leads to bull*****ting others. This is why we need others to support and challenge us. There are times we simply can't trust our own perception alone and need someone to second guess us. Because what if we end up believing our own bull*****?

Don't fear arguments. Fear the lies that can be in them. Challenge it with truth. And when I say truth I mean facts, not what your biased opinion is. It's the only way. There is no moral high ground. Only actions and results. Ultimately, control it. Fear. Anger. Even happiness. Or hurt the people you care about. It's those that are careless and try to avoid arguments that can put you (and themselves) in danger. Due to not even facing a situation in the first place. Which would have prevented a LOT of drama if that had happened sooner instead of letting a situation escalate and spiral out of control. Some people don't want to listen to that. You really do have to make them listen. Or you are going to hurt each other. No two ways about it. They'll hear you out if they really do value honesty to that extent. Some people make that claim but then toss you aside like garbage the moment there's a misunderstanding. In my experience people that harp on about trust tend to be the ones that mistrust easily. "It's my way or I don't trust you". Nope, doesn't work that way. What matters is being upfront and honest first and foremost before anything else. What matters is reasons for why you're assuming the worst of a situation and not even considering anything positive about it.

I could go on. But basically people that assuming bull***** end up acting like you're to blame. Thing is those very same people are doing the SAME bull***** they complain about. You don't know if it will be a civil debate or an argument until it's called out (unless you know someone already). Only way to find out is to do so. You see the dilemma. But may as well try each time. Find the understanding people through the trash so to speak. Sometimes turn trash into treasure if they listen to reason.

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4 hours ago, Taramafor said:

To be perfectly blunt, you really do have to call bull***** when it happens..... etc (saving some space)

 
I understand that you are trying to make a good point here but to be honest i am totally lost so can't comment on all of the stuff that you have written.
(Maybe because English isn't my main language or because it's late here and i am tired. I don't know..)
 
Anyway my criteria when it comes to online people is simple "Can we can have fun together? No serious talk, no arguments or whatever.".
With those that we can't, well they are random strangers somewhere on the planet that i don't care, don't live with them so no reason to be interested about.
I am a practical person, already lived half of my human life and the clock is always ticking, why waste time on such things.
 
But of course that's my approach. I am sure other people who have a different approach regarding their internet interactions etc will figure out ways to handle such stuff.
(or not .. still doesn't matter for me)
 
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Anyway my criteria when it comes to online people is simple "Can we can have fun together? No serious talk, no arguments or whatever.".

And that will lead to lack of communication and drama as a result. You want fun? Earn it. Treat people like they're human beings. I know how to have a good time right of the bat. But SAFETY and not being careless (to avoid hurting each other) has to be established. Otherwise you WILL hurt each other later. A lot of people just hide it. I've caused that kind of pain myself once. So talking from experience. Heck, one time someone online blew their brains out. So I hope you understand why I'm taking offense to your "Don't pretend things can't ever be serious" approach. It's BECAUSE of that attitude that events like that happen. Because you never saw someone as a PERSON instead of a TOOL (or otherwise gave that impression without meaning too).

For context it's because I was forced to learn how to take things seriously that I learned how to make fun happen quickly. There's a pattern. communication. Safety. Awareness. Fun. In that order (more or less). The danger always has been and always will be being blind. Online is NOT an excuse to be careless.

Reality check. We actually do affect everyone around us. Nothing will ever change that. Online and physically. It's a scary thought, yes, but that's the simple fact of the matter. We don't escape that reality online. Some people just pretend too. That delusion still doesn't change reality. Only the environment changes. Facts are still facts.

We all want fun. We want that in real life too. But here's the simple fact. People online are still people. And WILL have their "serious concerns". Especially if you do something to hurt them. You're going "You're a random person and I don't care". Does that sound none serious to you? It certainly isn't going to lead to fun. That attitude creates drama. Going by your previous posts I'm getting the feeling you flee from people the moment things get even remotely serious. If you go through those hard times you end up having fun with people that are loyal to you. People that stick around and make an effort to do fun things with you. Hopefully with the serious stuff sorted out, of which may well be very quick and easy to get through if you don't assume the worst. They will do MORE then some random person. Go out of their way to please you. Taking people seriously right away is quick and easy. Leads to fun faster. Pretending you don't care when the reality is you're caring enough to complain and pretend it doesn't exist...

Point being, if you're a heartless person going "I don't care" and flees THAT easily then why on earth would I engage with someone like that? Why would anyone? Do you feel safe with someone that will likely ditch you at the drop of a hat? That just shows fear and mistrust IMO. Nothing sucks out fun more then "You're being human and I'm gone". Especially if that's in the middle of doing something fun. I say talk about ***** and get it out of the way so you can focus on the fun stuff. Alternatively, have fun first then have an understanding each other talk. Then get right back to fun. Because it's in being understanding that we MAKE fun happen. Here's the thing. Calling bull***** on people (serious talking) can get their ass in gear to do fun things with you. "You can. You choose not too and make excuses." I was afraid of stress conversations as well but it was pretty much left at that and accepted (eg: I worried NEEDLESSLY). Something I stated recently which got them to actually be around and engage with me. Point out someones flaws (accurately) and they'll keep you in mind. Provided you're not being judgemental about it. You have to talk about what's serious so you can talk about how to have fun. "Be around. Let's actually do things." etc. The topic of "interest/effort" I suppose.

 

But above all else, know that you're affecting each other. Always. For good and for ill. You will take that seriously. Because you care about your own well being and how you affect others. even if you pretend otherwise. The alternative is not caring about said safety and well being, which means you can't be trusted.

Consider this an example of how trying to be evasive only serves to cause things to circle back. If you don't face situations like this on your terms others will do it for you. Which is preferable?

Edited by Taramafor
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8 hours ago, Taramafor said:

And that will lead to lack of communication and drama as a result... etc (saving space)

 
Hmmm how can communicating with people that you genuinely have fun and a great time being together lead to lack of communication and drama? Anyway never mind , do you like Big Brother reality show?Just started here 10 days ago and today Bachelor will start too so i am mostly hanging around with friends these days laughing over skype about the silly stuff those people do. Don't pay that much attention whats going on in the SL forums. Thanks for the quotations though. Take care.
 
(There was a woman in last nights episode who was watering the fake plastic plants and we cried laughing.)
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On 9/10/2020 at 10:40 AM, Nick0678 said:
 
Hmmm how can communicating with people that you genuinely have fun and a great time being together lead to lack of communication and drama? Anyway never mind
 

NO! You don't bring up a matter and the get away with sidetracking. Focus. Topic. Back on track. You actually just set a good example. It's evasiveness and dodging of the situation that leads to drama.

Also, because peoples desperation for fun alone leads to being blind which leads to ending up in situations where people are human and then they can act like you should be a target when someone bullied you when you make a fuss for standing up for yourself. As one example. Don't suffer in silence.

Some people will be understanding. Some just want to "use" you and act like you can't be human. Same logic applies with people into BDSM physically. Are you "just a dom" or are you seen as a PERSON?

That's why i have no respect for anyone that doesn't see people like people online. They are real living breathing people. And there's a lot of fun you can have if you see them that way. But ditch them the moment they're human after you had a good time? Is that going to lead to fun? That just makes people feel used. And not in the fun way. I'm saying that as someone that likes to be used when I'm understood (or at least know someone has an understanding nature). They tend to stick around and keep the fun going.

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On 8/8/2020 at 3:00 PM, Bagnu said:

I feel arguing is debating, and is a search for the truth. Fighting is simply destructive. What does everyone else think???

Nothing that running over someone with a car doesn't solve?🤡

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3 hours ago, Sassy Kenin said:

Nothing that running over someone with a car doesn't solve?🤡

Ya know I had to laugh at this hard because I had a mates wife actually try and do this in RL long time ago. While I chewed her behind for doing it and I think I chewed his even more for being stupid and trying to sit on the car thinking that would stop her from leaving. lol Years later she became a cop and I mess with her about it now letting her know she better fix my speeding and parking tickets if she don't want me to spill the beans about what she tried to do to dear old hubby. Lmao!!!! :D

Now to answer the OP my conversation generally happens in roughly 4 stages. I fairly old school about this. lol Normal conversation which is what is says. It's just a calm conversation and smooth sailing. Debating which is a healthy conversation of either reaching an understanding of views or compromise. Arguing which means the conversation will 9 out of 10 times go no where and is generally the prelude to end of the conversation. Fighting is what usually happens when someone puts their hands on me when I am trying to leave and walk away in order to defuse the situation and I have to open up a can of behind whipping on them for lighting the fuse in the first place and breaking the no touch rule. lol ;)

Edited by Velk Kerang
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