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Why is it so difficult making friends here?


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I'm a pretty outgoing, chatty person . . . but I've always found making friends to be hard work. I don't mean that in a negative way, though. I mean that establishing real friendships, ones that

I don't know why it's so hard making friends in SL. Ironically it used to be much simpler back in the prim/sculpty days when everyone looked like a clown, 90% of my friends list came from those days,

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I'm outgoing and tend to experience the feast or famine with friends. Either I have too many and they're reaching out to me mostly at the same time, or not one IM. 

I've been wanting to have impromptu talk shows on sl. We'll sit around and discuss appointed topics. I also am in the works of creating a fun show for singles. 

These are simply for fun and a way for people to connect. 

I've found that I have to create my own fun in sl. When people see me having fun, they IM me. 

Not everyone will like being approached if we reach out to them. We may have to weed through 15 people to find one decent conversationalist. 

Also, sometimes taking a short break from sl can refresh us and we'll feel less jaded. 

 

 

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On 9/4/2020 at 12:43 PM, MelodicRain said:

Well tell me why 90% of my interactions end up like this...

On 9/4/2020 at 12:43 PM, MelodicRain said:

Me: Waves and smiles! I read your profile and it seems we like and dislike a lot of things, such as xx, xx and xx so I thought I'd drop you an IM! It's rare to find someone who also enjoys xx, I heard there's a [insert some random topic about xx].
Some person: uh huh

I'm not making this crap up. This is legit what I get 90% of the time.

I get those from time to time.

Often when I do I open their profile and find something rather different, or not much there at all.

Sometimes I respond, start a conversation, and never hear from them again.

Sometimes I'm just busy. It sucks, but it happens...

Very often it feels like a dude fishing for a hookup.

Somewhat different for me than many here is I have particular interests and presentation in SL - being a non-white nude neko avatar - and it can be 'awkward' to hang out with some people who's "kink" or lack thereof is radically incompatible. The feeling of being judged or being there to be their visual entertainment.

 

But:

What I actually get a lot of is people that IM me and tell me all the things they think about me or my profile - but nothing about them so I just... don't know what to respond back with. As in...  past your "Waves and smiles! I read your profile and..." what I get is an essay about me - and not the common interests statement that I wish I could get...

The only thing that I get more than this is:

"XYZ Resident wants to be your friend... here is a complete lack of any message beyond that... yes / no"

 

Edited by Pussycat Catnap
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On 9/11/2020 at 5:23 PM, SatanTM said:

I will say shyness stops me, lol.

I see so many interesting avatars but anxiety tells me not to write them.

Don't worry!!!  people will reply if you IM them!!! Not everyone of course, but It does work!!!

Edited by Bagnu
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