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I have a friend who, for over 4 years, has been plagued with frequent and repetitive abuse and unwelcome attention by another SL user. The abuse has often been directed at her partner as well.

The abusive user creates multiple “alts”  to avoid being blocked/banned.  Several of these alts have been banned from SL but the user simply creates more and the abuse continues.

The abuser makes use of trackers to be informed whenever my friend or partner come in-world.

It is relentless, mindless, and distressing and has even caused my friend’s partner to leave SL for a while (now returned - but the abuse continues).  Needless to say, their whole experience of SL is greatly spoiled by the activities of this abuser.

My friend is a Premium Member and is aware that she could change her name (and UUID ?) to evade  any further detection from this abuser. Unfortunately, her partner is not a Premium Member and cannot afford to become one, so any name change by my friend would be pointless unless her partner could also change.

My question is this: Is there any mechanism whereby a “special case” can be made to allow the partner to change their name (and UUID) so that they can both avoid any future attention from this abuser?     

Since both of them are very long time users of SL, simply creating new accounts is not an option because they would lose the contents of their respective Inventories by such a move.

It seems to me that some sort of mechanism to help them both escape from this relentless abuse would be justified.

Can anyone offer any advice or assistance on this?

 

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Welcome to Second Life forums, Dylan211.

It's your friend's issue, and unless you are actually sitting next to your friend in real life, you will only be getting part of their story.

They have all at their fingertips for avoiding abuse from anyone. Changing their name and ID code is easy enough by simply starting a brand new account, and being extra careful of who they allow into their inner circle, but my guess is, a professional stalker would be able to find them quite easily again, because of their in world activities and interests, so the friend would have to change where they go and who they meet and that seems extreme, like someone putting their clothes in a pile on the beach in order to fake their own death!

I realise you asked if it were possible to change name and ID code without having to start a new account, because of expensive inventory needing to be replaced, but the stalker/abuser would undoubtedly find them as stated in above paragraph.

My guess is your friend is making the error of engaging in some way with their abuser/stalker, no doubt by saying "you are blocked" prior to blocking them, and this just feeds the abuser/stalker.

Ignore, ignore, and ignore is my advice. Block with absolute silence. Then the abuser/stalker will come to the conclusion their methods of abuse are just no longer working and will move on.

 

Edited by Marigold Devin
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Changing your name will not help.  If this person knows your previous name they can find out your current name.
You cannot change your UUID.  If you did, things in SL that had previously registered your UUID would break such as redelivery terminals, games etc.
LL will not do this for anyone as far as I am aware.

You might as well create new alts and retire your main accounts.  However this may not be very effective if they know where you hang out or who you hang out with.

So to avoid them, you would also have to change most of your habits and pretty much start from scratch.

If you did all this, there is no way they could find out who you are or where you have gone.  This is the only way that you can be 100% sure.

Edited by Gabriele Graves
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Many thanks to Marigold and Gabriele for their replies.. 

Perhaps I should have mentioned that  I am an experienced member of SL with over 10 years of regular use (although this is my first ever post to these forums and I may appear to be a newbie here). My friend who suffers the abuse is also a long time (and regular) user.

The advice given is good and is also well understood by me and my friend. However, all of the avoidance suggestions have been tried without success.

The reason for posting this question is simply to highlight an extremely frustrating situation where there would appear to be no solution.

If it is true that the UUID cannot be changed - even for a` Premium Member  who chooses to change their name - then it seems there really is no solution to a problem which I'm many others may have experienced. Creating new Accounts and deleting existing ones - with the consequent loss of Inventory - would appear to be a drastic remedy.

Does anyone have any views about this?

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1 hour ago, Dylan211 said:

Many thanks to Marigold and Gabriele for their replies.. 

Perhaps I should have mentioned that  I am an experienced member of SL with over 10 years of regular use (although this is my first ever post to these forums and I may appear to be a newbie here). My friend who suffers the abuse is also a long time (and regular) user.

The advice given is good and is also well understood by me and my friend. However, all of the avoidance suggestions have been tried without success.

The reason for posting this question is simply to highlight an extremely frustrating situation where there would appear to be no solution.

If it is true that the UUID cannot be changed - even for a` Premium Member  who chooses to change their name - then it seems there really is no solution to a problem which I'm many others may have experienced. Creating new Accounts and deleting existing ones - with the consequent loss of Inventory - would appear to be a drastic remedy.

Does anyone have any views about this?

How long someone has been in SL or whether or not they are Premium has nothing to do with this.  The UUID is the KEY to the avatar - everything is tied to that.  The only way to get a new UUID is to create a completely new account.

I'm sorry they are experiencing this, but outside of creating a new account, the best way to avoid all contact with the abuser is to establish new areas of hanging out - never go back to the places they currently hang out at.  Unless they are 150% sure of friends, ties to them should also be cut.  Other than that, all that can be done is to ignore as much as possible.  When new abusing alts arrive, AR them and add them to your block list.

Edited by LittleMe Jewell
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2 hours ago, Dylan211 said:

My friend is a Premium Member and is aware that she could change her name (and UUID ?) to evade  any further detection from this abuser.

Changing name won't stop the abuser from finding her it wont change the UUID that is tied to the account when it is created. A friend of mine paid to change their name both first & last name and mentioned to me so i could check if it was right, that they put their new account name in to google and their profile with their old account name was coming up in search. in fact in my, my.secondlife web profile friends list this friend is listed under their old account name and their new account name shows up like it's a display name.

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8 minutes ago, Bagnu said:

Maybe a retaliation attack from alts you don't care about being banned???

Not a good idea.  LL can almost always tie accounts together with a bit of detailed investigating.  They would risk getting themselves permanently banned unless they happen to know all the tricks to spoofing IP and hiding their tracks --- i.e. hacker skills.

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7 minutes ago, LittleMe Jewell said:

Not a good idea.  LL can almost always tie accounts together with a bit of detailed investigating.  They would risk getting themselves permanently banned unless they happen to know all the tricks to spoofing IP and hiding their tracks --- i.e. hacker skills.

How is it than someone can be abusive, but yet not be banned, and if we try and  fight back we lose??? That should work both ways then, Wouldn't they investigate???

Edited by Bagnu
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10 minutes ago, Claireschen Hesten said:

in fact in my, my.secondlife web profile friends list this friend is listed under their old account name and their new account name shows up like it's a display name.

Does it still do that after 24 hours since the name change passed?   My friends list, both inworld and on the web profile page, shows my friend with their new name and no reference to their old name except within the comments they put in their own profile.  I'm pretty sure it is not supposed to show both names at the same time.  LL has already stated that if you don't know a person's previous name, nothing will tell you that.

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2 minutes ago, Bagnu said:

How is it than someone can be abusive, but yet not be banned, and if we try and  fight back we lose???

There are ways to spoof the IP and hide pretty much all tracks of where/how you log in, so that it makes it much more difficult to tie accounts together.  Most of the really obnoxious bullies that create hundreds of accounts to play their games know all the tricks and use them all.   With enough research, you could probably learn the same tricks, but anyone doing so does risk being discovered and finding themselves, and all associated accounts, permanently banned.

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1 hour ago, LittleMe Jewell said:

There are ways to spoof the IP and hide pretty much all tracks of where/how you log in, so that it makes it much more difficult to tie accounts together.  Most of the really obnoxious bullies that create hundreds of accounts to play their games know all the tricks and use them all.   With enough research, you could probably learn the same tricks, but anyone doing so does risk being discovered and finding themselves, and all associated accounts, permanently banned.

I guess SL is about all kinds of kinks. I wish bullying wasn't one of them.

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18 minutes ago, Bagnu said:

I guess SL is about all kinds of kinks. I wish bullying wasn't one of them.

Bullying isn't a "kink," Bagnu. Don't dignify it with that name. It's an abuse -- and exactly the sort of BS that a properly constituted kink relationship is designed to avoid.

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6 minutes ago, Bagnu said:

Seriously, I think the best way is just to ignore them. No risk to yourself or your friends. And they WILL get bored and move on.

 

5 hours ago, Dylan211 said:

I have a friend who, for over 4 years, has been plagued with frequent and repetitive abuse and unwelcome attention by another SL user. The abuse has often been directed at her partner as well.

I don't think they are going to get bored after this amount of time.

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7 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Bullying isn't a "kink," Bagnu. Don't dignify it with that name. It's an abuse -- and exactly the sort of BS that a properly constituted kink relationship is designed to avoid.

You are very correct. What I meant was that some get their thrills from abusing. I'm fully against that!!! I AM bdsm, so I understand!!! This was purely a matter of semantics.

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7 minutes ago, Gabriele Graves said:

 

I don't think they are going to get bored after this amount of time.

I have no way of agreeing or disagreeing. They have to try.

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Honestly, if the two people are not prepared to sacrifice the money they've spent by making new alts, the only remaining solution is to continue the ignore/ban/block/AR game for as long as necessary. And yes it is a sacrifice but if the abuse is causing them that much stress, it will be worth it. 

Another one might be to for your friend and their partner to take their relationship out of SL altogether and onto another platform - not necessarily another virtual world, but something like Whatsapp or Discord, where the abuser cannot follow them. If neither of them are logging in to SL at all any more, the abuser has no target.

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Many thanks to everyone who responded to my original post. You have effectively confirmed what I felt was the case - namely, that there really is no way to avoid this sort of long term abuse without deleting your account and starting again.

I had a distant hope that there might be some other way to resolve my friend's problem. Sadly, not.

Thanks to everyone who posted their advice here.   I now regard this thread as closed.

Dylan

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18 hours ago, Bagnu said:

Ignoring might be a good way as well. They feed of your fear. If you give no reaction, they will eventually get bored.

yes, the ignore button is in our head and we are pretty much doomed when we don't press it

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8 minutes ago, Dylan211 said:

there really is no way to avoid this sort of long term abuse without deleting your account and starting again.

this doesn't always work either.  When we create a new account and continue to hang out with our friends then our stalker can pretty soon associate the new account with us

which leaves us with the ignore button in our head

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