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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, rushingaround said:

Your not saying this in the posting but i assume she is getting paid for sex.  Maybe he likes rough sex.  

No excuse for that behavior if she told him no or to stop. No one has the right to be abusive or disrespectful ever, no matter if they try and excuse it off as they like rough sex or its their kink or its their fetish. That does not make it automatically acceptable for them to behave in that manner ever.

no consent.. no go.. no do.. anyone that does is just a jerk at that point.

and paying for an escort does not mean automatic consent to all behaviors by that other individual ever. consent and limits still have to be respected at all times. no one has any special rights or privileges on how they can treat anyone here ever.

Edited by Drakonadrgora Darkfold
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Hook up with him, then when he gets started put on a freenis and click “swap”.

It is so upsetting to see some in SL be so rude and downright scary. I had to spend a bit of time calming a good friend down after her Escorting session turned unpleasant, and her client started to pu

I’m glad you were there for your friend to support her. And I guess it makes me antisocial, but I have a zero tolerance policy for putting up with people in a SL who desire to treat me crummy or

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Here's the thing-it doesn't matter if they were getting paid, it doesn't matter that you can log out, report people, whatever. What matters is that it's not OK to disrespect/mistreat people. Abusive behavior is serious whether it's physical or done via chat. Emotional trauma is just as valid as physical. Both have a detrimental effect on the person being abused. Nobody should wave off how this person treated them in any way, shape or form. 

As far as the 'maybe they like it rough' comment it's attitudes like that that end up normalizing abusive behavior. The number one thing people should ALWAYS remember when engaging in ANY kind of roleplay with others is that CONSENT IS KEY. Respect for consent should be primary when you're roleplaying or doing anything with others, really but especially anything involving sex. 

 

 

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Posted (edited)
13 minutes ago, Drakonadrgora Darkfold said:

Doesn't make that kind of behavior acceptable or tolerable for any reason ever.

It doesn't matter where it happened, or with who, its the fact that it happened at all. Which you seem to not understand.

I disagree.  She is not so broken up that she is giving the linden back.  

Edited by rushingaround
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59 minutes ago, Jordan Whitt said:

It was SL.  Why didn't she just put a stop to it by giving the lindens back and logging out?  It is just so much easier to leave and not put up with stuff we do not like in this platform.  There are many times I can look back now and wish I had done that instead of putting up with abuse in SL, so maybe I get why she didn't. 

That being said, I am glad you were there to help her out.  

That is not always an option for some people. For some people SL is just the same as RL it is not a game or just role play or just fantasy. they can be really hurt or abused and some people like to feed off of people like that. I know from my own personal experience and how I first believed and thought about things here. How I was told to just go with it, to allow it, to just deal with it. That its not real.. you cant be hurt... total bs....That tp'ing out was cheating, that logging out was the sign or being weak and worthless or a coward and that they would tell everyone how untrustworthy you were for doing so. It can be emotionally hurtful to some people.

Its takes a while for some to not let their emotions be totally involved all the time and some never can disassociate on that level. that their avatar is and extension of themselves with just a different look and no other differences.

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Posted (edited)
20 minutes ago, rushingaround said:

I disagree.  She is not so broken up that she is giving the linden back.  

doesn't matter.. it should not have been done or tried by the other person without first asking if it was ok.

no one has the right to be a jerk just because they want to and expect others to just tolerate it or excuse it away or validate that kind of behavior ever.

the fact that you are trying to defend it makes me think you would do the same thing to someone and if so that is totally disgusting...

people who think its ok to ignore or push or break limits or dont need consent should be banned form sl entirely. such kinds of behavior should not be tolerated or accepted ever. It should not be normalized or made the run of the mill behavior...

narcissistic misogynistic abusive behaviors should not be catered too.

Edited by Drakonadrgora Darkfold
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2 minutes ago, Drakonadrgora Darkfold said:

For some people SL is just the same as RL

I understand what you are saying but on the other hand it isn't the same. There's only psychological pressure because people don't treat it for what it is. A game that gives you multiple options to avoid situations like this. If this happened in RL then that guy would now need a cosmetic dental restoration because RL escorts do have a proper guy nearby who takes cares of things like these when needed.

It is rather interesting though how people react just to have some pixelsex/whatever.I am certain that guy has many pent up emotions.

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Posted (edited)
9 minutes ago, Nick0678 said:

I understand what you are saying but on the other hand it isn't the same. There's only psychological pressure because people don't treat it for what it is. A game that gives you multiple options to avoid situations like this. If this happened in RL then that guy would now need a cosmetic dental restoration because RL escorts do have a proper guy nearby who takes cares of things like these when needed.

It is rather interesting though how people react just to have some pixelsex/whatever.I am certain that guy has many pent up emotions.

though you cant be directly physically hurt you can be physically hurt its not just emotional or mental or psychological. the emotional/mental abuse can cause physical symptoms in a person such as anxiety or depression or duress or feelings and beliefs of being worthless or of little value and can cause low self esteem because they dont see their avatar as anything different but an extension of themselves. which can lead a whole host of physical problems for that person.

the problem is not everyone can simply disassociate themselves from their avatar like some other people can and do.

its not all just a head game to some people. It has very real physical effects on them, lack of sleep, lack of appetite, self isolation because how a person was made to feel and think. can lead to severe depression or even suicidal thoughts. trust me I know.. personally...

Edited by Drakonadrgora Darkfold
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It's an unfortunate and wholly unjustifiable truism of the sex industry that it draws in people who seek the services for the purposes of having an outlet to be abusive to someone else.

I'm not sure what can be done about it. When you're in an industry that has no legal protections, and in fact where it to occur 'in real life' has 'negative legal ramifications' as well as 'social villification'... you're kinda left exposed to unsavory thugs...

Support your friends, try and get the offender barred from the locations he's using to commit abuse, but otherwise you're stuck with "move on" because the system is purposefully designed to not help you.

 

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41 minutes ago, Zidaya Zenovka said:

As far as the 'maybe they like it rough' comment it's attitudes like that that end up normalizing abusive behavior. The number one thing people should ALWAYS remember when engaging in ANY kind of roleplay with others is that CONSENT IS KEY. Respect for consent should be primary when you're roleplaying or doing anything with others, really but especially anything involving sex.

Yes.

The proper way to handle "gee, I like it rough, what should I do..." is to go visit a region themed for that RP where everyone is there seeking that... not to 'take it out on somebody' who is not a willing party to the kink.

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Just now, Drakonadrgora Darkfold said:

the problem is not everyone can simply disassociate themselves from their avatar like some other people can and do.

My point exactly so the only way to have a pleasant experience of SL or any other online game/virtual world is not to get carried away in to it.These are pixels, they don't get hurt and no matter what anyone does you should report/block/ignore them and continue with your activities at the safety and coziness of your home.Those agressive people simply don't matter for your real life.The less you interact with them the better.

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Just now, Nick0678 said:

My point exactly so the only way to have a pleasant experience of SL or any other online game/virtual world is not to get carried away in to it.These are pixels, they don't get hurt and no matter what anyone does you should report/block/ignore them and continue with your activities at the safety and coziness of your home.Those agressive people simply don't matter for your real life.The less you interact with them the better.

I agree, but its a hard lesson for some people to learn at times. It is not as always as easy done as said for some people. 

I try not to let things get to me too much emotionally here anymore either; but even I get caught up in things at times and then have to remind myself to step back and not let it ruin my time here. Its hard to do that sometimes.

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17 minutes ago, Nick0678 said:

I understand what you are saying but on the other hand it isn't the same. There's only psychological pressure because people don't treat it for what it is. A game that gives you multiple options to avoid situations like this. If this happened in RL then that guy would now need a cosmetic dental restoration because RL escorts do have a proper guy nearby who takes cares of things like these when needed.

It is rather interesting though how people react just to have some pixelsex/whatever.I am certain that guy has many pent up emotions.

This whole 'sl isn't rl' thing is more  farce than fallacy. No. It's not. SL isn't a game it's a glorified chat interface. Without the community aspect this virtual reality platform would have died out the gates. Every time you turn around in SL there's some kind of community. Roleplayers, musicians, artists, support groups-when my ex realized he was trans back in '07 it was because he'd met a bunch of people from SL's trans furry community. A large majority of SL users are LGBTQIA+. Why? Because there's a lot more freedom to be who you are here vs the real world. 

That kind of community aspect is why downplaying sexual assault via text is so infuriating. It's not just trolling or bullying. This person took advantage of the trust someone had shown them. Someone showed them the benefit of the doubt-whether because of necessity or whatever other perfectly valid reason led them into this circumstance-and that trust as well as their person was violated. 

Stop downplaying this. If people like the guy OP's friend had to deal with aren't dealt with they absolutely do go on to hurt others. I know because i've had it happen to me, I've seen it happen to friends and whenever I speak up about it or add my voice the same thing happens-the apologists come out and try to blame the victim despite it not being their fault and their not having anything to feel ashamed about. 

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1 minute ago, Drakonadrgora Darkfold said:

I agree, but its a hard lesson for some people to learn at times. It is not as always as easy done as said for some people. 

I try not to let things get to me too much emotionally here anymore either; but even I get caught up in things at times and then have to remind myself to step back and not let it ruin my time here. Its hard to do that sometimes.

Relax make some coffee/tea/drink whatever you like when people piss you off and remember it's just another random fool with a $5-$20 USD avatar. Nothing more nothing less and not worth your time.Will you allow him/her to ruin your day cause they have a PC and can log in to a game. I don't cause i don't even know them and never will so..block/ignore/report have fun.

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Just because someone is an escort does not make them a toy. They are still a human being. You're still required to respect them. That and sexual harassment is against the law. Just because it's imaginary doesn't invalidate that fact. Now if your client asks nicely if it's OK for them to be a little rough that's fine but much like in real life that still means you need to work out what's OK and what's not before you start. That means asking your escort what their boundaries are, how they prefer to be referred to. In general you find out what they're OK with and if they EVER tell you to stop doing something YOU STOP. 

No means NO, period. 

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2 minutes ago, Nick0678 said:

Relax make some coffee/tea/drink whatever you like when people piss you off and remember it's just another random fool with a $5-$20 USD avatar. Nothing more nothing less and not worth your time.Will you allow him/her to ruin your day cause they have a PC and can log in to a game. I don't cause i don't even know them and never will so..block/ignore/report have fun.

Its not always that easy, sometimes you get caught up in your emotions even if you didn't plan too. Sometimes people can find the buttons to push and trigger bad memories and this brings out bad feelings or thoughts.

And the desire as a Dragon to burn them to ashes and then piss on those ashes and the watch them blow away as dust in the air caused by my wings.

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7 minutes ago, Zidaya Zenovka said:

This whole 'sl isn't rl' thing is more  farce than fallacy. No. It's not. SL isn't a game it's a glorified chat interface.

I understand everything that you said and people can name it anyway they like but fact is it's a game and there's no Legal case here unlike Reality where there would be.

Things are simple. Block/Ignore/Report then relax and keep playing your game.

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2 minutes ago, Drakonadrgora Darkfold said:

Its not always that easy, sometimes you get caught up in your emotions even if you didn't plan too. Sometimes people can find the buttons to push and trigger bad memories and this brings out bad feelings or thoughts.

And the desire as a Dragon to burn them to ashes and then piss on those ashes and the watch them blow away as dust in the air caused by my wings.

Oh your are a dragon? Dont tell me you also have that amazing dragon avatars from Jomo?

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Posted (edited)
7 minutes ago, Nick0678 said:

Oh your are a dragon? Dont tell me you also have that amazing dragon avatars from Jomo?

Yes, I have several dragon avatars, but my current form is the female jomo dragon. you can see a picture of it in the 'what does your avatar look like' thread. I can be found near the bottom of the page.

I have been a dragon in sl for nearly my entire time here. only ever being a human or other things for very short periods of time.. usually no more than a day.

I had my first dragon avatar the second week I started playing. it was a gaudy metal robot looking dragon(all prims.. oh god the age of all prim avatars..) with a silly rocket on its back for flying.

Edited by Drakonadrgora Darkfold
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1 hour ago, Drakonadrgora Darkfold said:

That is not always an option for some people. For some people SL is just the same as RL it is not a game or just role play or just fantasy. they can be really hurt or abused and some people like to feed off of people like that. I know from my own personal experience and how I first believed and thought about things here. How I was told to just go with it, to allow it, to just deal with it. That its not real.. you cant be hurt... total bs....That tp'ing out was cheating, that logging out was the sign or being weak and worthless or a coward and that they would tell everyone how untrustworthy you were for doing so. It can be emotionally hurtful to some people.

Its takes a while for some to not let their emotions be totally involved all the time and some never can disassociate on that level. that their avatar is and extension of themselves with just a different look and no other differences.

I don't disagree with you, and like I said in later replies, I have been there and let someone put me in a situation I now see was abusive because I didn't feel like I could get out of it.  Hindsight is always 20/20 and looking back now, I wish I had put a stop to it and left the situation. 

 

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2 minutes ago, Jordan Whitt said:

I don't disagree with you, and like I said in later replies, I have been there and let someone put me in a situation I now see was abusive because I didn't feel like I could get out of it.  Hindsight is always 20/20 and looking back now, I wish I had put a stop to it and left the situation. 

 

sorry, i just get a bit pissed off when people try and say its just a game and not real and you cant be hurt..  back when I started sl it got so bad for me because of what my first Mistress did I became suicidal over it and tried to kill myself. I spent 3 months in a mental hospital because of it. So its not a joke to me and when people sound like they are trying to play it down at times it just makes my blood boil to the point they are lucky im not a Dragon in real life..

as stated earlier I would like to hunt them down and then roast them where they stood while saying 'its not real its just a joke your not being hurt now are you'...

so yeah I get a bit defensive or aggressive or both when people act like there is nothing wrong or its not abuse or harmful. that it should be accepted or normalized just because its virtual..or because its a kink or fetish so that makes it all ok at that time.

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