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Posted (edited)

Hello everyone, this is my first forums post. I don't know what exactly I'm looking for here, maybe someone to kick me and tell me just to get over myself LOL 😬 but anyway, here's my story...

After not logging into SL for quite some time due to RL events, I recently started logging in more regularly (starting about 2 months ago). I never did much with the Avi in the first place, and now many of my old friends are gone. Anyway, one day on the beach I met this great person and we clicked almost immediately (at least I thought so).

EDIT: Thank you to everyone who responded, I just wanted to maybe get some different perspectives and I appreciate the honesty. It helps me a lot to see how other people view situations, so hopefully I didn't bother anyone with this post. Take care. 

Edited by Jasmine Linnaeus
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Don't try and find RL relationships in SL. You don't know who is on the other end of the AV. We all need to experience the person in RL!!!

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It doesn't matter whether you were able to tell them your true feelings or not. It doesn't matter if this was a long relationship or just a casual acquaintance. That person will be seeing someone else............always. The sooner you realize this the sooner you will be able to find happiness in SL.

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Posted (edited)

Well from what i read you weren't even friends, you just hanged out together for a while and now he has a partner which doesn't mean anything of course but lets pretend that it does , it means he is taken and is enjoying his virtual relationship/whatever.

Anyway things are simple, just like in RL when people have a new relationship they disappear its normal, regardless if you are a male friend, female friend or just a temporary.

Go get yourself some girlfriends or even male friends if you like, it really doesn't matter as long as you have a few things in common and not the typical "ok lets go kill our boredom by watching the avatars dancing or whatever", just try to avoid being overtaken by the projection of your feelings regardless if those are towards friends or dates.

You have been hurt because you expected that it would last longer so you wouldn't be on your own again but realistically speaking people stay together for as long as they "both" choose to do it regardless if its RL or SL and lets be honest an SL relationship definitely gets rather boring after a while.

Edited by Nick0678
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Posted (edited)

Keep your real heart in RL, this does not mean that your SL heart cannot fall in love or get heartbroken, but when you log off you need to be able to move past that and focus on the real people who love you. I had a similar situation in SL. I met this guy, we dated, we hung' out he was amazing. He never pressured me for sex so it didn't happen right away, when it did happen it was amazing. Then after that nothing. He never Imed me he didn't respond when I IMed him, or if he did he was always busy. One day he was on the same sim as I was, so I cammed him and sure enough he was with his next conquest. Take SL day by day, enjoy the moments with no expectations for the future, and it will be a much happier place.

Edited by Talligurl
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thank you to those that replied for your insightful comments. I know it's my fault for reading into things too much. I'll definitely take it into consideration and be more protected. 

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One really critical thing you *need* to know about anyone you thing about getting *romantic* with in SL (feelings involved) is how the other person handles Second Life;

(a) Its a game, nothing here counts, BTW - how DO I level up ? (Invest no emotion, make use of them if they give really good QWERTY and you feel like it, but no strings)

(b) Wants to Partner on the first date. (Seriously?, Beware of the Potential Stalker.)

(c) Talks to you about their interests and is interested in yours. Courteous to the “Typist”. (Potential Keeper)

(d) Begins every conversation with an analogy about a different Ex and/or asking for L$ (Flee)

(E) Opens with “OK, my RL is in bed. Where were we?” (Flee, unless they give really good QWERTY and you feel like it, but no strings)

The best way IMHO is to observe them over time before committing.

giphy.gif?cid=4d1e4f29d0d9ebd4c3151fdf34

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8 minutes ago, Amanda Crisp said:

One really critical thing you *need* to know about anyone you thing about getting *romantic* with in SL (feelings involved) is how the other person handles Second Life;

(a) Its a game, nothing here counts, BTW - how DO I level up ? (Invest no emotion, make use of them if they give really good QWERTY and you feel like it, but no strings)

(b) Wants to Partner on the first date. (Seriously?, Beware of the Potential Stalker.)

(c) Talks to you about their interests and is interested in yours. Courteous to the “Typist”. (Potential Keeper)

(d) Begins every conversation with an analogy about a different Ex and/or asking for L$ (Flee)

(E) Opens with “OK, my RL is in bed. Where were we?” (Flee, unless they give really good QWERTY and you feel like it, but no strings)

The best way IMHO is to observe them over time before committing.

giphy.gif?cid=4d1e4f29d0d9ebd4c3151fdf34

All really great tips, thank you for the helpful response. I definitely need to play more of an observer role. I also appreciate the Friends reference. Lol 

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Posted (edited)
10 hours ago, Jasmine Linnaeus said:

 I do want him to be happy, he deserves it.

He showed you his best side, which might not even be real, so what he deserves is unknown.  You know what you deserve, however, and part of that is enough time and space to enjoy yourself free of commitments.

Edited by Garnet Psaltery
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1 hour ago, Amanda Crisp said:

(a) Its a game, nothing here counts, BTW - how DO I level up ?

   Pixel bumping more people = higher level, right? . . . Right?

   I don't think my 'level' would be very high though. 

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I have to laugh. We have answered Jasmine's question (and hopefully helped her), yet we continue to to talk amongst ourselves!!! How RL!!!

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32 minutes ago, Garnet Psaltery said:

He showed you his best side...

tumblr_ms3ylpOVNj1sezoa7o1_500.gif

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And now you see how this sort of discussion works, Jasmine!

@Gopi Passiflora is particularly good at asking provocative questions, then standing back and letting the Regulars gab on!

Please feel free to make more posts, ask more questions, and put in your own two cents' worth any time.

Welcome to the Forums.

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Never mix rl with sl unless you know them in rl. Sl is known to break up rl couples too! All I can say is let things happen naturally, be careful and stay safe ❤️ there are some awful people in sl who get a kick out of breaking hearts but there are also some super nice people who can be your friend for life its a roll of the dice really like some say he could have a partner in rl get to know each other and just be friends for now and see where things go 😃

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Posted (edited)
14 hours ago, MissMurderLamb said:

Never mix rl with sl unless you know them in rl. Sl is known to break up rl couples too! All I can say is let things happen naturally, be careful and stay safe ❤️ there are some awful people in sl who get a kick out of breaking hearts but there are also some super nice people who can be your friend for life its a roll of the dice really like some say he could have a partner in rl get to know each other and just be friends for now and see where things go 😃

I couldn't agree more. Some people get their enjoyment out of hurting others, and come to SL for that very reason. I felt a wave of disgust as I even wrote that. 

Edited by Bagnu
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Posted (edited)

For me SL doesn't break anything as long as you have self control.

Regarding RL couples well.. if it wasn't SL, it would be Facebook, snapchat, or a random guy/chick from RL. Happy couples don't cheat.

Apart from that well we aren't dealing with the mob or something, just random people from all over the world that in most cases we wouldn't even want to meet ever in RL anyway so as long as you use your logic and don't act desperately due to boredom or loneliness you will be fine.

Edited by Nick0678
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15 minutes ago, Nick0678 said:

For me SL doesn't break anything as long as you have self control.

Regarding RL couples well.. if it wasn't SL, it would be Facebook, snapchat, or a random guy/chick from RL. Happy couples don't cheat.

Apart from that well we aren't dealing with the mob or something, just random people from all over the world that in most cases we wouldn't even want to meet ever in RL anyway so as long as you use your logic and don't act desperately due to boredom or loneliness you will be fine.

You are very wrong about the mob part. Because RL $ is involved, they are here, and so are RL  investigators. Look it up on google.I wouldn't want to meet my SL friends in RL, because it would destroy our perceptions of each other.

I'm totally against internet dating, but I know for some it works. I have a RL relationship, so maybe that's why.. I don't consider Escorting cheating, because I have no emotional involvement with my clients. I agree that happy couples don't cheat. But I add that cheating is when it becomes emotional, not just physical, and a how often, etc. We are sexual beings, so that can happen, and i think too many perfectly good relationships have been destroyed because people don't understand that. My Grandmother made this clear to me, and i understood her point!!!

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Sometimes you connect and sometimes you don’t.  Thats a fact of life.  You have all kinds of people in SL.  Have fun and be careful

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Posted (edited)
3 hours ago, Bagnu said:

You are very wrong about the mob part. Because R...

I understand what you are saying about the mob etc but fact is that not everyone here is from U.S.A I am not and none of my SL "friends" is. So you get it that just like the U.S government has no authority/power over us, same way the mob etc have nothing to do either. Each person has to deal with his local authorities/organizations/fears.

About the internet relationship or whatever regardless if SL, Facebook etc, personally i have categorized it in 2 types.The one that eventually after some days/months leads to RL date because both are genuinely attracted/interested (like in RL) and the other type that leads to stagnation due to "put whatever reason you like here" .

About the cheating part from my experience people do whatever they do for whatever reason they like and nobody is forcing them to do it, only their self. It's rather simple.

I don't date in SL not because there is danger or whatever, i just find it boring. It really is that simple for me.

Edited by Nick0678

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Posted (edited)

The "mob" have no borders lol!!!

Edited by Bagnu
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I'd probably have an opinion or comment to make...but you edited out the issue you have mixed feelings about, so I can't even enjoy storytime!

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sometimes people come into your life to give you lessons. sometimes those lessons are happy lessons, sometimes those lessons are like bullets to the heart. the fact that you are still around means you have survived. sometimes some people dont.

never ever get too emotionally involved with anyone online ever for any reason until you have taken the right amount of time to get to know them aka 3 months at least. most people will hide many things about themselves at first and will not begin to reveal them until the honeymoon period is over. where they think they have gained your trust enough to reveal their true self. and some people never will, because to those people sl is nothing but a game and you are nothing but a two bit player in that game(a nipc) and mean nothing to them in the end. you were placed here for their own enjoyment and nothing more.

been through a few of those kinds of people until I learned to stop letting myself get too close too fast. that was my lesson/bullet to the heart. which I almost didn't survive...

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12 hours ago, Bagnu said:

The "mob" have no borders lol!!!

(shocked)

tumblr_o1j5puJrql1smqfiko1_500.gifv

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