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Short, cold, harsh treatment by owners and admins


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Owners and administrators on sims are often warm and friendly, but a few are cold and brutal in directives or corrections of often unintended rule violations in character participation. Many long-time players on such sims will jokingly say OOC that the person in question is just "that way" and that they are all used to it. But I have noticed a consistent pattern.

  • Players who excuse a hostile or sharp-spoken owner or high-up admin are usually part of the "family", "besties group" or staff clique and receive special benefits for that such as custom homes or higher prim allowances, so naturally they will excuse the erring owner or admin.
  • Sims that are owned or operated by such people usually have low traffic and participation and never seem to grow much. During a time period in a day usually high in activity across SL, they may have 6-10 actively playing people on the sim with a number of AFK or OOC ever-parkers. When sims with such staff or owners do have high participation, experience quickly demonstrates that they have attracted quite a few participants with similar habits of harsh OOC communication.
  • Owners or Admins who treat people poorly tend to develop a reputation in the SL roleplay community and do not recover well from it as they do not change their habits. Their sims develop a reputation as well. In 8+ years of RP on SL, I have seen more than a few sims die, or crash and have to restart because of a reputation for being a harsh or hostile OOC environment. I tend not to name sims or people after departing a sim for unkind treatment, but a great many people do.
  • Harsh owners and admins usually display an inability or unwillingness to soften correction for errors that were minor in consequence or clearly unintentional. I have never erred in harassing someone, power-gaming or god-modding and only made some minor mistakes with meta-gaming when I first started years ago. I have made minor mistakes involving misunderstanding of permission to rez shop tools in a shop I had been granted RP proprietorship over. This is an easily corrected problem, since it was unintentional, due to miscommunication, and honestly not at all detrimental to the sim's RP flow or to any person on an OOC level. Nevertheless these errors were handled with the same degree of severity and hostility as though I had god-modded, meta-gamed or power-played more than once after being warned, or even harassed someone. I once discussed such a correction with an RP friend who knew the owner and was told the owner was under a lot of RL stress, but a school teacher can be under RL stress, yet cannot permit themself to handle a student harshly or they will likely be fired. A person who cannot keep personal emotions out of OOC communication with a non-toxic sim guest, should likely choose not to own and operate a social or RP sim.

Reflections on 8+ years of SL roleplay culminating in mothballing my avatar for an indefinite period.

Edited by Borelek
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I've seen those same patterns. In fact the Star Trek sim I was a member of for several years on here suffered very badly for it. They had what I call the behind kissers club/clique and my job on sim was security and more often then not I found the rules being ignored in favor of some while others were expected to follow them. For example no public sex is allowed on sim and is a bannable offense. Yet if your a high ranking Officer you can pretty much pixel bump any where. To go a step even further I busted someone doing it near kid avatars during a camping event on sim. Looking back I should have done an actual AR and got them banned off grid. I was in sim security mind mode and unfortunately it didn't enter my mind at the time because I was busy contacting who I thought where the appropriate people to handle the situation. That was BIG mistake and one that I'll never repeat again.🤨

People were getting promotions based on how much tongue they used on the booty rather then actual real experience, intelligence, or actual skill. I also seen friends who were once close change before my very eyes in to something I didn't particularly like the smell of when they decided to join the club rather then stand up for what is right and I have also seen some really good people very badly mistreated for standing up for what is right. Sufficed to say most of the old timers on the sim such as myself eventually got so sick and tired of it all that we all left. We just really got sick of the whole ignorance that plagued the sim. It's a shame really because at one time it used to be the number one Star Trek sim at the top of the search list and last time I ran a search on SL for Star Trek sims I noticed it was all the way down to the bottom. lol 😁

On a similar note some shop owners on these RP sims are just as ignorant. I had a funny experience once. This lady sim banned me from her kids gesture store when I was AFK because she didn't like my auto response to non-friends when she IM'ed me to remove my guns that were purely non-scripted in the first place. lol It simply said something to the effect of if your someone I've had words with then I am not going to deal with you so fork off basically. lol I tried talking with her and I got a lecture on appropriate language around children which I rebutted with for one they are grown adults and for two teach them not to IM strangers and it shouldn't be a problem. lol Stranger danger. lol She muted me right after that. lol My SL wife wanted to say something to her and I was like don't. Just don't. lol Don't worry about it. Just grab what you came there to grab and go. I'm good. I can wait at home. That lady is half past midnight on the crazy clock and you don't need to deal with that kind of special stupid and get banned too given our daughter likes to go to that store. lol It's all good. lol 😁😎

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There are a lot of sim owners and group owners and store owners that have god mindsets.. they dont care if they offend anyone because they are gods and can do what ever they want. And they dont worry about loosing the insignificant little complainers.. because they have their worshipers of their sims/group/store that will sufficiently pander to their ego. And as long as they have the faithful few that is all that matters to them. Morals and ethics and fair play and common decency be dammed. 

I AM A GOD... FEAR ME!!!!! RESPECT ME!!!! WORSHIP ME!!!!! feed my ego!!!!!!!11111!!!!!11!!!!! or be destroyed.

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Speaking from the other side of the divide, in the times I have been an admin when I was nice to some people they'd just take that as an excuse to get more irate over whatever issue brought us into contact. If I was firm, and clipped we would keep things from escalating, when I was polite, and personable they'd keep pushing the issue as if by repeating their wants/complaints/demands getting more heated when I had to keep giving them the same answer. Admittedly, my job was stepping in when people were violating the rules, maybe its different for other admins but in my experience I either HAD to be a hardnose or I got people yelling in my figurative face.

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1 hour ago, Harley Ravenhurst said:

Speaking from the other side of the divide, in the times I have been an admin when I was nice to some people they'd just take that as an excuse to get more irate over whatever issue brought us into contact. If I was firm, and clipped we would keep things from escalating, when I was polite, and personable they'd keep pushing the issue as if by repeating their wants/complaints/demands getting more heated when I had to keep giving them the same answer. Admittedly, my job was stepping in when people were violating the rules, maybe its different for other admins but in my experience I either HAD to be a hardnose or I got people yelling in my figurative face.

right but it is how they chose to be firm that makes all the world of difference.. many here will choose sarcasm and rudeness over simply being firm and repeating saying 'sorry, no that is not allowed' or 'no, im not going to do that'. there is a right way and wrong way to be firm. but a lot of the god complex admins go 1000% overboard about it.

which ultimately leads to more becoming disappointed or frustrated or angry or disenchanted about the sim the rp or store or group and how its being run. but the god complex admin doesn't care at all. but then whines when they loose popularity slowly over time.

you can please some of the people but you cannot please all of the people. this is fact of life. there will always be someone unhappy or wanting something different.

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People are people and many when given or get some form of control/power let it go to their heads and become those that say my word is law and I make the Laws and If I have favourites then that is my perogative. Live with it or leave, it is easy to say your impartial but to be neutral, impartial and unbiased is impossible one can only do ones best to be unbiased, personality comes into to play in everything like it or not but if one is in a position of power then one must learn restraint to be as impartial as one can be.

 

Edited by ElmAran
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