What are some more of your pet peeves?

[Silent Mistwalker]

1 hour ago, TDD123 said:

Why ask ? You know the response by now :

I tried so hard to not like her on DW but I failed. 

Bwahahahahaha

[Luna Bliss]

13 minutes ago, Drakonadrgora Darkfold said:

 ever

ever

EVER

[Drakonadrgora Darkfold]

5 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

EVER

EVER and EVER and EVER

its forever ya know.. its perm ya know.. its uncheatable ya know. you cant change it ya know.

[Arielle Popstar]

41 minutes ago, Drakonadrgora Darkfold said:

there is no value in sympathy or pity, they are false signs of care or understanding and nothing more. its not that I am broken its the fact I am not broken like others who value such false things. pity does no one any good, sympathy does no one any good and never did or ever will. it only leads to false belief in what others say about how they care or understand. when really they dont and never did or ever will.

pity and sympathy are shallow emotions. all they say is that you dont really want to put forth the effort or time or energy to understand or care.

Sympathy has value in the acknowledgement of an others pain, even if one is helpless to do anything about it. It is part of what makes us a community and a hedge against of what can be the loneliness of the human condition. To deny it is to sink into bitterness and self-pity in that one does not feel anyone else can relate to what one may be going through.

A lot of life is having to accept it for what it is. The ones who most hate that is Mr/Miss Fixits who have an overpowering need to fix everyone's problems and negativity. They either need to try and present a solution or nullify that others may have a peeve they don't feel good about. The reality is that you are not responsible for someone else's peeve and the Peeved don't need you to fix it unless they specifically ask. That tends to grind for Fix it types as they specialize in unsolicited advice and tips as they can't stand the idea that someone out there is not having a wonderful day.

Recovery is to acknowledge someone is peeved and wish them well in their search for a solution or acceptance that it is what it is.

Ps. This is from personal experience of being a Fix it type.

Edited August 16, 2020 by Arielle Popstar
deleting superfluous

[Chroma Starlight]

9 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

Sympathy has value in the acknowledgement of an others pain, even if one is helpless to do anything about it. It is part of what makes us a community and a hedge against of what can be the loneliness of the human condition. To deny it is to sink into bitterness and self-pity in that one does not feel anyone else can relate to what one may be going through.

Compassion is an important attribute of the heart, along with understanding. And if a community has any valor in its members hearts, it will also seek the predators that cause pain and put a stop to that. Sympathizing with a man on fire is less useful than extinguishing the fire and stopping the arsonist.

Edited August 16, 2020 by Chroma Starlight

[Drakonadrgora Darkfold]

10 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

Sympathy has value in the acknowledgement of an others pain, even if one is helpless to do anything about it. It is part of what makes us a community and a hedge against of what can be the loneliness of the human condition. To deny it is to sink into bitterness and self-pity in that one does not feel anyone else can relate to what one may be going through.

A lot of life is having to accept it for what it is. The ones who most hate that is Mr/Miss Fixits who have an overpowering need to fix everyone's problems and negativity. They either need to try and present a solution or nullify that others may have a peeve they don't feel good about. The reality is that you are not responsible for someone else's peeve and the Peeved don't need you to fix it unless they specifically ask. That tends to grind for Fix it types as they specialize in unsolicited advice and tips as they can't stand the idea that someone out there is not having a wonderful day.

Recovery is to acknowledge someone is peeved and wish them well in their search for a solution or acceptance that it is what it is.

Ps. This is from personal experience of being a Fix it type.

I have to disagree it has any value it just provides false encouragement or false hope or belief that the person understands or cares what the other person is going through. when often they dont and just want to seem or act as if they do to make themselves feel or look good in the eyes of others.

If you cant help, then just come out and say it.. sorry cant help you in that. there is nothing wrong with doing that. but some people cant do that and so think that by at least showing pity or sympathy they show they care. when really they cause more harm then good.

you dont ever really have to accept anything, you have choice in what you do with every situation in life. if you let it bother you or not if you let it control you or not. if you let it overwhelm you or not. if you let it hurt you or not. if you let it frustrate you or not. if you let it upset you or not. all those emotions and feelings and outcomes of them are under your control always. 

and keeping that control lets you make better rational and logical choices on how to work through the problem and find a better solution then to just accept that it is one way and cannot be changed. nothing is perm in life except death. every situation can be changed in some way. you dont have to just sit back and accept the consequences just because someone said you did or should. you can choose to act and change those end results if you are willing to work at it. You may not fix it back to how it was before but that is not important. what is important is that you tried and didn't just accept because someone said you had too.

 

[Drakonadrgora Darkfold]

17 minutes ago, Chroma Starlight said:

Compassion is an important attribute of the heart, along with understanding. And if a community has any valor in its members hearts, it will also seek the predators that cause pain and put a stop to that. Sympathizing with a man on fire is less useful than extinguishing the fire and stopping the arsonist.

you cant always stop the arsonist for they may have many tools at their end to use to continue what they do. instead of stopping the arsonist learn to protect yourself from them.

you cant always stop a predator for there are many that hide in disguise until its the right time to strike in ways that are less noticeable then what an arsonist may do.

no matter how much people want to call online forums communities they really are not.. they are just gatherings of random people with random values and morals and ethics that will never be completely compatible with each other ever. you cannot force compatibility. it doesn't work in the end.

look at all the reality tv shows and how it never works with them. its all play or be played. eat or be eaten. the same applies to online communities. there is no utopia online and never will be at best its a dystopian world.

Edited August 17, 2020 by Drakonadrgora Darkfold

[Arielle Popstar]

3 minutes ago, Drakonadrgora Darkfold said:

I have to disagree it has any value it just provides false encouragement or false hope or belief that the person understands or cares what the other person is going through. when often they dont and just want to seem or act as if they do to make themselves feel or look good in the eyes of others.

Early in the start of my journey I was given a piece of sage advice: accept what people say at face value and try not to read between the lines. It prevents me from making an ass-u-me. Most of what I used to think people meant was pretty wide of the mark, as majority were not nearly as negative and pessimistic as I was of people back then.

Quote

you dont ever really have to accept anything, you have choice in what you do with every situation in life. if you let it bother you or not if you let it control you or not. if you let it overwhelm you or not. if you let it hurt you or not. if you let it frustrate you or not. if you let it upset you or not. all those emotions and feelings and outcomes of them are under your control always. 

People have a lot less control over those things then you give them credit for. Being frustrated, overwhelmed, panic attacks, emotional meltdowns etc are not something you can just will away. Some/many can bury them through the use of alcohol, drugs, pharmaceuticals and loads of various addictions and dysfunctions, but they still negatively impact the quality of life as well as the decisions one makes. Control is just a figment of the imagination 

There is a little prayer in the circles i travel that goes like this:

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and most of all, the wisdom to know the difference.

It is through the surrender and acceptance of a problem that one starts to have the peace/presence of mind to come to the best solution, whether that is to make changes or accept what cannot be changed.

 

Quote

and keeping that control lets you make better rational and logical choices on how to work through the problem and find a better solution then to just accept that it is one way and cannot be changed. nothing is perm in life except death. every situation can be changed in some way. you dont have to just sit back and accept the consequences just because someone said you did or should. you can choose to act and change those end results if you are willing to work at it. You may not fix it back to how it was before but that is not important. what is important is that you tried and didn't just accept because someone said you had too.

Personally I get reminded how little to no control I have of anything the Lab does in my Secondlife every time I go to one of their meetings. In fact there is almost a paradox at work in a lot of it in that the more I try to control something, the more it evades my grasp whereas when I accept something the way it is and let it go, the better the chance that I get exactly what I was hoping for.

[Chroma Starlight]

1 hour ago, Drakonadrgora Darkfold said:

you cant always stop the arsonist for they may have many tools at their end to use to continue what they do. instead of stopping the arsonist learn to protect yourself from them.

you cant always stop a predator for there are many that hide in disguise until its the right time to strike in ways that are less noticeable then what an arsonist may do.

no matter how much people want to call online forums communities they really are not.. they are just gatherings of random people with random values and morals and ethics that will never be completely compatible with each other ever. you cannot force compatibility. it doesn't work in the end.

look at all the reality tv shows and how it never works with them. its all play or be played. eat or be eaten. the same applies to online communities. there is no utopia online and never will be at best its a dystopian world.

Not with an attitude like that, you can't! Denying community doesn't make the problem go away (nor the actual community). Set incrementally higher standards. Provide more resources. Progress the social code alongside the actual code. Isn't this obvious?

[Drakonadrgora Darkfold]

46 minutes ago, Chroma Starlight said:

Not with an attitude like that, you can't! Denying community doesn't make the problem go away (nor the actual community). Set incrementally higher standards. Provide more resources. Progress the social code alongside the actual code. Isn't this obvious?

that does not work its been proven time and time again throughout history and even shown not to work in various movies. there never can be such a peaceful or utopian society ever. it is a dream a fantasy a myth a farce it cannot ever truly be enforced.

Edited August 17, 2020 by Drakonadrgora Darkfold

[Chroma Starlight]

Just now, Drakonadrgora Darkfold said:

that does not work its been proven time and time again throughout history and even shown not to work in various movies. there never can be such a peaceful or utopian society ever. it is a dream a fantasy a myth a farce it cannot ever truly be enforced.

A lot of things that were completely impossible just one-hundred years ago are within reach or already manifesting now. I think you're living in the past on this one.

[Drakonadrgora Darkfold]

1 hour ago, Arielle Popstar said:

Early in the start of my journey I was given a piece of sage advice: accept what people say at face value and try not to read between the lines. It prevents me from making an ass-u-me. Most of what I used to think people meant was pretty wide of the mark, as majority were not nearly as negative and pessimistic as I was of people back then.

People have a lot less control over those things then you give them credit for. Being frustrated, overwhelmed, panic attacks, emotional meltdowns etc are not something you can just will away. Some/many can bury them through the use of alcohol, drugs, pharmaceuticals and loads of various addictions and dysfunctions, but they still negatively impact the quality of life as well as the decisions one makes. Control is just a figment of the imagination 

There is a little prayer in the circles i travel that goes like this:

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and most of all, the wisdom to know the difference.

It is through the surrender and acceptance of a problem that one starts to have the peace/presence of mind to come to the best solution, whether that is to make changes or accept what cannot be changed.

 

Personally I get reminded how little to no control I have of anything the Lab does in my Secondlife every time I go to one of their meetings. In fact there is almost a paradox at work in a lot of it in that the more I try to control something, the more it evades my grasp whereas when I accept something the way it is and let it go, the better the chance that I get exactly what I was hoping for.

people have a lot more control over things then they give themselves credit for. you can control panic attacks, through various coping skills. you can control emotional breakdowns through various methods of de-stressing, you can prevent being frustrated by various other coping skills its not out of your control to do. and you dont have to rely on drugs or alcohol either.

that prayer is used by people who dont want to take action and want to just make excuses for things they could have changed or effected or controlled. every situation in life you can have control over the outcome of it. where you live, where you work, what happens around you.. who you socialize with, where you shop. none of that is out of your control.

even here in sl you have more control then you think. you dont like a creator. become one yourself. you dont like a group make your own. you dont like a sim start your own. you dont have to just accept the behavior of anyone in that group or sim ever or that content creator ever.

will you have total control no. that is not possible unless you own the company. but are you lacking in as much control as you like to think or believe or make others think. again no.

you do not have to just accept or let it be or let it go or just flow with it or just deal with it because someone else said you should.

 

[Drakonadrgora Darkfold]

8 minutes ago, Chroma Starlight said:

A lot of things that were completely impossible just one-hundred years ago are within reach or already manifesting now. I think you're living in the past on this one.

no.. it is you that is living in a dream/fantasy world of what you wish for but will never be.

there will never be a utopian world or society ever. they cannot ever truly exist. its a dream a fantasy and nothing more. there will always be those who will disagree you cannot make them agree either. it doenst work. not online not offline not anywhere.

[Chroma Starlight]

1 minute ago, Drakonadrgora Darkfold said:

no.. it is you that is living in a dream/fantasy world of what you wish for but will never be.

there will never be a utopian world or society ever. they cannot ever truly exist. its a dream a fantasy and nothing more. there will always be those who will disagree you cannot make them agree either. it doenst work. not online not offline not anywhere.

Yeah, and you'll never find a pure white paint for your walls, but close enough is pretty good.

[Drakonadrgora Darkfold]

7 minutes ago, Chroma Starlight said:

Yeah, and you'll never find a pure white paint for your walls, but close enough is pretty good.

actually you can find pure white.. but it wont be because of the colors underneath that will affect it. same with any such beliefs in a perfect or utopia world or society.

it will never work.. its been proven to be impossible. you cannot control everyone or make everyone think or feel or believe or act in just one set way. it doesnt work. not even with mass hypnosis or mass brainwashing or mass enforcement through militia.

there will always be dissidents that cannot be controlled or stopped.

 

Edited August 17, 2020 by Drakonadrgora Darkfold

[Chroma Starlight]

7 minutes ago, Drakonadrgora Darkfold said:

actually you can find pure white.. but it wont be because of the colors underneath that will affect it. same with any such beliefs in a perfect or utopia world or society.

it will never work.. its been proven to be impossible. you cannot control everyone or make everyone think or feel or believe or act in just one set way. it doesnt work. not even with mass hypnosis or mass brainwashing or mass enforcement through militia.

there will always be dissidents that cannot be controlled or stopped.

 

I think that not only does it work, but it's worked every single time. What's wrong with chromatic pluralism? Who says you need or even want to control everyone, I thought that we were talking about progress, not enslavement.

Edited August 17, 2020 by Chroma Starlight

[Drakonadrgora Darkfold]

1 minute ago, Chroma Starlight said:

I think that not only does it work, but it's worked every single time. What's wrong with chromatic pluralism? Who says you need or even want to control everyone, I though were were talking about progress, not enslavement.

you cant have progress without enslavement for there will always be those who will fight it and stall it and delay it or destroy it because it is not what they want or like or agree to.

[Chroma Starlight]

8 minutes ago, Drakonadrgora Darkfold said:

you cant have progress without enslavement for there will always be those who will fight it and stall it and delay it or destroy it because it is not what they want or like or agree to.

They'll want it when they realize its benefits. Be a beacon.

Edited August 17, 2020 by Chroma Starlight

[Drakonadrgora Darkfold]

5 minutes ago, Chroma Starlight said:

They'll want it when they see its benefits. Be a beacon.

no they wont, that sort of head/mind game does not work with everyone. that sort of manipulation does not appeal or work all the time.

just because you think you make something desirable does not make it so to everyone and never will or ever can. that is not how it works. that attempted covert hypnosis and brainwashing will fail on many people.

just like how flat earthers fail to convince anyone that world is flat that has an average or above average iq. that the only people that truly fall for that is idiots.

Edited August 17, 2020 by Drakonadrgora Darkfold

[Chroma Starlight]

Just now, Drakonadrgora Darkfold said:

no they wont, that sort of head/mind game does not work with everyone. that sort of manipulation does not appeal or work all the time.

just because you think you make something desirable does not make it so. that is not how it works. that attempted covert hypnosis and brainwashing will fail on many people.

What sort? The sort where they aren't sheltering-in-place because of a pandemic's evitable spread? The sort where they are enveloped in a culture of positive memes that continually elevate and inform their path through life? The sort where their children are raised by a village rather than an economy? The sort  where the vulnerable are protected from the predators? Why does this stuff seem threatening, like 'hypnosis' and 'brainwashing,' again?

[Luna Bliss]

[Drakonadrgora Darkfold]

1 minute ago, Chroma Starlight said:

What sort? The sort where they aren't sheltering-in-place because of a pandemic's evitable spread? The sort where they are enveloped in a culture of positive memes that continually elevate and inform their path through life? The sort where their children are raised by a village rather than an economy? The sort  where the vulnerable are protected from the predators? Why does this stuff seem threatening, like 'hypnosis' and 'brainwashing,' again?

those are all attempts at brainwashing. and not everyone can be. not everyone can be hypnotized either.

no one knows the correct path of life for anyone else ever. children raised by a village are never stable for their are many influences in the village that are nefarious even if thought to have been rooted out. you cannot protect everyone ever.

[Drakonadrgora Darkfold]

1 minute ago, Luna Bliss said:

in order to do that you first have to learn to control them and yourself.

[Luna Bliss]

3 minutes ago, Drakonadrgora Darkfold said:

in order to do that you first have to learn to control them

What would you do to control them?

[Chroma Starlight]

8 minutes ago, Drakonadrgora Darkfold said:

those are all attempts at brainwashing. and not everyone can be. not everyone can be hypnotized either.

no one knows the correct path of life for anyone else ever. children raised by a village are never stable for their are many influences in the village that are nefarious even if thought to have been rooted out. you cannot protect everyone ever.

I'm beginning to think you don't have an actual position, then. The voices in a village are a lot less pathological than the voices in an economy. A healthy society must be nurturing, and never exploitative and predatory.

Edited August 17, 2020 by Chroma Starlight