What are some more of your pet peeves?

[Silent Mistwalker]

6 minutes ago, Dafadilia said:

 You're taking your well being into consideration from what I can see and that is true strength. There is nothing wrong with that. 😉

Thank you.

It's clear to me that there are those out there who still have not learned the difference in being a victim and being a survivor. 

A victim has been destroyed and mistreated; a survivor has continued to live and prosper despite having been victimized. A victim is powerless, at the mercy of others; a survivor has reclaimed their power.

[Drakonadrgora Darkfold]

4 minutes ago, Janet Voxel said:

While we have a breathing space to talk about peeves: What are these things that allow your local chat to be seen all over a sim? Is it a script? A Prim? Its getting really weird going to a sim and people are having a conversation you can see from across the sim! And its annoying!

It's a chat extender script. Usually in a prim or other device. Normally used in clubs or similar places. It's usually in one or more items placed around the sim.

[Seicher Rae]

A bit of a side-ways transition: Words matter, and by that I mean the words that we tell ourselves.

I actually have three different types of PTSD from three different, decades apart, situations. Yay! Collect them all! I've always been a bit of an over-achiever...

Things I've learned/experienced from all of that (still a WIP, I don't claim to live in "I have my s*** together" land):

The biggest high-five I've ever given myself (although it took many years to realize it), is that my very young self never blamed ME for getting raped. I always knew it was HIS fault. There was still a lot of self-blame, but not for the assault. Unfortunately many, many people of such crimes DO feel they are the responsible party. I don't have the magic solution for how to get out of that, but professional therapy would be one suggestion. That IS something you can talk through. IMPORTANT WORDS TO TELL YOURSELF: It isn't my fault.

I have seen over and over in the forums and elsewhere that people use the word "victim" as a slur. That is ridiculous. These people act like victims don't exist. These people act like if you say you were a victim of...[name the crime] then you are defacto wallowing in it. Instead, being able to say, "I was a victim" maybe is the first step to dealing with that and moving on. Grieve. You had damage. It is ok to admit that you were a victim because YOU DID NOTHING WRONG.  Important words to tell yourself: Victim is not a swear word. Victims happen.

On the other hand, yeah, it isn't great to dwell in the "victim" part of grieving (or whatever you want to call it). Rephrase it. I always liked: I am a person who experienced [name the crime]. Seriously, in your self-talk if you find yourself saying "victim" over and over, and it isn't part of the grieving process, the next part is to reclaim. Important words to tell yourself: I am a person who experienced...

 

Biggest pet peeve (stronger than that) that I have experienced in the SL Forum: People trying to victim shame and blame others. 

I had that happen to me for well over six years in the forums.

Edited September 2, 2020 by Seicher Rae

[Scylla Rhiadra]

11 minutes ago, Seicher Rae said:

A bit of a side-ways transition: Words matter, and by that I mean the words that we tell ourselves.

I actually have three different types of PTSD from three different, decades apart, situations. Yay! Collect them all! I've always been a bit of an over-achiever...

Things I've learned/experienced from all of that (still a WIP, I don't claim to live in "I have my s*** together" land):

The biggest high-five I've ever given myself (although it took many years to realize it), is that my very young self never blamed ME for getting raped. I always knew it was HIS fault. There was still a lot of self-blame, but not for the assault. Unfortunately many, many people of such crimes DO feel they are the responsible party. I don't have the magic solution for how to get out of that, but professional therapy would be one suggestion. That IS something you can talk through. IMPORTANT WORDS TO TELL YOURSELF: It isn't my fault.

I have seen over and over in the forums and elsewhere that people use the word "victim" as a slur. That is ridiculous. These people act like victims don't exist. These people act like if you say you were a victim of...[name the crime] then you are defacto wallowing in it. Instead, being able to say, "I was a victim" maybe is the first step to dealing with that and moving on. Grieve. You had damage. It is ok to admit that you were a victim because YOU DID NOTHING WRONG.  Important words to tell yourself: Victim is not a swear word. Victims happen.

On the other hand, yeah, it isn't great to dwell in the "victim" part of grieving (or whatever you want to call it). Rephrase it. I always liked: I am a person who experienced [name the crime]. Seriously, in your self-talk if you find yourself saying "victim" over and over, and it isn't part of the grieving process, the next part is to reclaim. Important words to tell yourself: I am a person who experienced...

 

Biggest pet peeve (stronger than that) that I have experienced in the SL Forum: People trying to victim shame and blame others. 

I had that happen to me for well over six years.

This is brilliant. I wish we could attach it as a sticky at the top of some of the threads we get here.

I'm sure I'm speaking for many others here: Thank you, Seicher.

[Seicher Rae]

11 minutes ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

I believe she has, but is incapable.

That prevents me from declaring hypocrisy. And as she herself has stated elsewhere, we here are in a poor position to help others with their RL issues. Our continued engagement is enabling.

Might we consider that the compassionate thing for us to do is that which she cannot...

Disengage?

I recognize this. I mean, literally, truly, recognize it.  I don't hide that I'm crackers. Not speaking for any others, but what you are describing actually can and does happen. It can and does happen to me. It isn't happening at the moment, but there are probably some here who recollect threads where, "Ohhhh, that's what was going on with Seeker..."

I'm not sure if it is a facet of my PTSD, depression or gawd only knows what neurochemical glitch, but in heated discussions (that soon move to flame war) there comes a point where some switch gets flipped in my head and I get obsessive about posting. Dogged. Relentless... Nuts. If I physically can pull myself away from the computer for an hour or two, I have a chance of settling back into normal.

It doesn't happen often, and it hasn't happened recently, but it does happen. I can get snarky, but I'm usually not being a female canine for the sake of it. I just can't stop making my POINTS!!!! sigh

So you are 100% right. This observation of yours could be spot on. I'm not going to diagnose anyone (that's another forum member's job). Your solution is the only one that would work on me... others disengage so that I can go back and become rational again.

Brains. They are weird. I basically LIKE mine, I don't think I'd switch with anyone, but there are times when it just needs to go sit in a corner and think about what it has done.

[PermaRuthed]

I have a legit pet peeve: explosive diarrhea.

Fortunately we don't have to deal with that messy stuff in SL.

[Sammy Huntsman]

SL pet peeve, when sims are totally messed up and you crash just trying to get the freak out of there.

[Amina Sopwith]

3 minutes ago, PermaRuthed said:

I have a legit pet peeve: explosive diarrhea.

Fortunately we don't have to deal with that messy stuff in SL.

I did once see a flying bum that would chase after a target and fire poo at it.

[Garnet Psaltery]

Pet peeve.  Big egos allied to an ever-open mouth.

[Garnet Psaltery]

Just now, halebore Aeon said:

SL pet peeve, when sims are totally messed up and you crash just trying to get the freak out of there.

Ooh, that hasn't happened to me for many a long year.  Things must be bad wherever you were.

[Sammy Huntsman]

Just now, Garnet Psaltery said:

Ooh, that hasn't happened to me for many a long year.  Things must be bad wherever you were.

Yeah you are telling me, most of the assets at the sim aren't loading in so all I see is the land and nothing else. When I try to teleport out, I just wind up crashing.

 

[Garnet Psaltery]

5 minutes ago, halebore Aeon said:

Yeah you are telling me, most of the assets at the sim aren't loading in so all I see is the land and nothing else. When I try to teleport out, I just wind up crashing.

 

Ouch!  I did visit a place the other day where all the items for sale were hanging in mid-air and remained so for at least 10 minutes but no crashes; not the same place I imagine.  I hope they were just in the middle of rebuilding because if they're not they're in serious trouble.

Edited September 2, 2020 by Garnet Psaltery

[So Whimsy]

16 minutes ago, Amina Sopwith said:

I did once see a flying bum that would chase after a target and fire poo at it.

This would be perfect for the forums, too.

[Silent Mistwalker]

21 minutes ago, Seicher Rae said:

Brains. They are weird. I basically LIKE mine, I don't think I'd switch with anyone,

I like my brain, too. I'm keeping it. Bodies are a different story. I'd like to trade mine in for a model that doesn't have any of the scars and OMG another damn wrinkle! 🤪

[Snugs McMasters]

29 minutes ago, Seicher Rae said:

Brains. They are weird. I basically LIKE mine, I don't think I'd switch with anyone, but there are times when it just needs to go sit in a corner and think about what it has done.

Be thankful you have an entire brain to yourself. I have to share one with Maddy.

When I send her half to the corner, it just sits there, glaring at me, drinking root-beer... and belching.

[Silent Mistwalker]

20 minutes ago, Snugs McMasters said:

Be thankful you have an entire brain to yourself. I have to share one with Maddy.

When I send her half to the corner, it just sits there, glaring at me, drinking root-beer... and belching.

I have a message for you from Maddy.

 

 

 

[Seicher Rae]

20 minutes ago, Snugs McMasters said:

Be thankful you have an entire brain to yourself. I have to share one with Maddy.

When I send her half to the corner, it just sits there, glaring at me, drinking root-beer... and belching.

I never said we're alone in here...

 

[Ted McGregor]

32 minutes ago, Snugs McMasters said:

When I send her half to the corner, it just sits there, glaring at me, drinking root-beer... and belching.

She's probably regretting being unable to burp pyroclastically, because she wasted those burps on all of us.

[Madelaine McMasters]

1 hour ago, Seicher Rae said:

I'm not sure if it is a facet of my PTSD, depression or gawd only knows what neurochemical glitch, but in heated discussions (that soon move to flame war) there comes a point where some switch gets flipped in my head and I get obsessive about posting. Dogged. Relentless... Nuts. If I physically can pull myself away from the computer for an hour or two, I have a chance of settling back into normal.

I've found myself in that situation. A walk in the woods, where I say to the wildlife what I wanted to say to the asshat (gotta be an asshat, can't be meeee!), brings me right again. On the walk back, I ruminate on knowing the wildlife had no idea what that was all about... and knowing the asshat probably wouldn't either.

Edited September 2, 2020 by Madelaine McMasters

[Madelaine McMasters]

I'm in complete agreement with Seicher, Dafadilia. Do speak up. I have become so comfortable with my mock-sarcastic displays of affection that I take risks with them. That almost always works. I recall Beth MacBain saying she was taken aback the first time I set her on fire, but then realized it was the equivalent of a hug, which she now looks forward to. After hearing that, I did spend a little time reflecting.

... sets you on fire.

[Seicher Rae]

So, back to our regularly scheduled programming. 

Is it just that SL has been acting particularly wonky the last few days or what, but my HUDs aren't working, or working very poorly. This is Maitreya body. Letlutka and Genus head HUDs. Gawd only knows what else. I've changed regions. I've logged/relogged. I've reinstalled but honestly if more than one isn't working it is unlikely a problem with having to install an un-buggy one.

Peeved! 

[Rowan Amore]

8 minutes ago, Seicher Rae said:

So, back to our regularly scheduled programming. 

Is it just that SL has been acting particularly wonky the last few days or what, but my HUDs aren't working, or working very poorly. This is Maitreya body. Letlutka and Genus head HUDs. Gawd only knows what else. I've changed regions. I've logged/relogged. I've reinstalled but honestly if more than one isn't working it is unlikely a problem with having to install an un-buggy one.

Peeved! 

They've been having login issues and group chat issues the last few days.  Maybe residual issues with other things?  I haven't been in much so I hadn't noticed.

[MoiraKathleen]

Pet peeve when shopping inworld - vendors and product displays that to not indicate the price of the item, mousing over the item doesn't give a clue (price isn't included in the item description line), requesting 'info' from the vendor provides either no info or product info except the price.  I really hate it when I have to click "Pay" just in order to see the price - luckily that is a function that can be cancelled out of.  

[Rowan Amore]

I haven't read back through all the peeves so this may have been covered.  Creators who make an outfit, top and bottom, then have the huds attach to the exact same spot on the screen.  I know it's easy enough to move but why not put one on the right and one on the left?  Seems obvious to me.

Edited September 3, 2020 by RowanMinx

[Scylla Rhiadra]

Ok, pet peeve.

Boobs.

More specifically, SL boobs.

Why are there so few ways of customizing them? Boobs are enormously varied in RL -- different shapes, sizes, and . . . other stuff.

But, here, basically, you can make 'em bigger, and you can push 'em together, and that's just about it. The more popular mesh bodies for women are no help: the boobs tend to "break" if you mess with them much beyond the middle slider range (the dreaded underboob crease!), and if you want smaller ones, you've got to shell out upwards of L$5000 for an entire new body. (Although, yes, the most popular brand has a less expensive add-on, which I use, sometimes).

There are like, what, three sliders for boobs? And probably at least TWENTY for the lower part of the face!

Boobs are more important! I know this, because half of the guys I talk to have their cams focused on my cleavage rather than my face ("show crosshairs" FTW!).

Also, gravity. Why can we make boobs jiggle, but we can't make them react to gravity realistically? Like when you're leaning over, or lying on your side? For instances.

And rigging: the rigging for tops for women often don't even attempt to match the actual slider values of my boobs. Women's clothing creators, stop deciding that you know better than I do how big or small, or what shape, I want my boobs to be!!!!

And I think there should be a rule, in the CS or TOS or something, against having pushed-up, pushed-together boobs unless you are wearing a bra!!! Damn it. You wanna wear a tank top with no bra? FINE. But you don't get to have nice clean cleavage then! No pain, no gain, says I!

None of this, of course, is to in any way criticize how others choose to render their boobage. If you want them sticking out like the flight deck of an aircraft carrier, then go for it! Like 'em flapping about under your chin, or smushed together like they were in a vice? More power to you!

What I want is more options so that those of use who want realistic, nice looking boobs can have that, and those who want to treat them as a component of performance art can also do their thing.

Is this so very much to ask? Really?

Edited September 3, 2020 by Scylla Rhiadra