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1 hour ago, Ashlyn Voir said:

These forums are very PG and how I feel about everything is not so PG. Plus, it’s also not politically correct and I will be honest to say my experiences RL or online with whites and other non-blacks have been awful. Period. I remember being in Jacksonville, FL with my big sister. We we’re riding around and a [white] cop pulled us over for the tail light being out. But, his demeanor came off bigoted. You can feel when someone hates you. I was already in fear because I remembered what happened to Philando Castro. I remembered what happened to Trayvon Martin. I remembered what happened to so many black people before that. I didn’t want to be another black girl killed by the hands of a police officer or non-black person and be stereotyped or have the media trash my name. 
 

I’ve experienced racism ever since I was a little girl. I remembered being called the n-word to my freaking face by someone I had considered to be my best friend. I remembered being denied jobs or opportunities simply because I checked ‘black’ on an application even when I was qualified. I remember my sister having a white police officer pull a gun on her during a domestic violence situation when she was the ONE WHO CALLED FOR HELP. THEY DON’T give a damn about our lives. Period. I remember being left racist hate comments in my inbox back when I used to be on deviantART and Tumblr. I am used to being followed in a store because people assume I’m going to steal or think I have little money. When my dad died, the white ambulance had a freaking smirk on their faces. I am used to non-blacks talk down to me like I’m an idiot because they feel they’re superior or think I know nothing when I know so much. And, quite frankly I’m sick and tired of it. Apart of me even felt the same hate towards non-blacks a white supremacist would feel for me. But, I knew all that hatred wasn’t healthy.

To see my people being continually dragged and to see people have the nerve to talk about other countries and what they deal with...when we can’t even get our country together sickens me. This country has no right in policing others when this is the same country that had four white supremacists bomb a church and killed four little black girls. The same country where a white supremacist kills 9 church members who welcomed him in with open arms. The same country who voted in a racist and fascist president because his entire campaign was based on hatred and violence. 
 

This country was NEVER integrated. We were assimilated. We were desegregated. But NEVER truly integrated. 

Thank you for sharing these stories Ashlyn. I may be just a middle-aged English white guy but if I could give you a hug right now, and if you accepted it, I would. I cannot know how awful these experiences were for you and your sister but that's why it's so important for you to share them with us. 

The US is a very scary country. 

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Not as such, no. We don't really have that kind of thing here as, well, our law enforcement seldom gun down people - and whilst I obviously do not condone of it, I'm hesitant to give my 'official' (i.

Alrighty, now that I've gone ahead and cleared out some not so pleasant posts from this thread I wanted to drop a quick note here. As many of you have seen me say several times before, delving in

Thank you for this.   Black woman here.  Of A Certain Age.  I have my BLM shirt.   For whatever that means. (freewheeling it here, went from wanting to say something to not wanting to say anythi

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Thank you for bringing up assimilation @Ashlyn Voir. That is precisely what has been done to First Nations for so many centuries. Since other whites objected to the wholesale slaughter  they couldn't completely wipe us out so they tried assimilating us instead. That didn't work out so well either.

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20 minutes ago, Ashlyn Voir said:

Thankfully the death of George Floyd brought out hidden racists. And that I’m grateful for.

Regular daily politics, and the idea that every topic must by definition have two equally valid sides or that all topics have some mythical center ground, has been doing that here for years. It's not just the racists feeling emboldened and coming out of the woodwork, it's all manner of fine people.

Right up till a week ago I had inlaws on Facebook reposting actual hate-speech targeting PoC, minorities, Mexicans, the gays, the trans, libruls and anyone else not wearing a red hat. The only reason they aren't posting it this week is they aren't entirely stupid, it's all-lives-matter or blue-lives or anarchists or antifa or gun rights. Any denouncements of the police in response to George Floyd's murder are couched in condemnation of protesters or looters or whoever. They aren't angered that yet another PoC has been murdered by a system and society that actively favors the hetro-normative christian white majority.

They are angered because someone filmed it.

George Floyd's death hasn't brought out any hidden racists, it's just made the majority less willing to let things slide, for the moment at least.

 

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34 minutes ago, Maitimo said:

Thank you for sharing these stories Ashlyn. I may be just a middle-aged English white guy but if I could give you a hug right now, and if you accepted it, I would. I cannot know how awful these experiences were for you and your sister but that's why it's so important for you to share them with us. 

The US is a very scary country. 

 

18 minutes ago, Selene Gregoire said:

Thank you for bringing up assimilation @Ashlyn Voir. That is precisely what has been done to First Nations for so many centuries. Since other whites objected to the wholesale slaughter  they couldn't completely wipe us out so they tried assimilating us instead. That didn't work out so well either.

Thank you guys so much and everyone else for your words. I like to talk to my mom and sister a lot about racism in America. How...this country was built on violence and hatred. Even when I learned the truth about Christopher Columbus and what he did to the native population or when the pilgrims did, I got angry. And, now there’s the blatant murder of black Americans even before all of this. I read so many things about our history of the treatment of black Americans, and I think everyone should educate themselves as well. 
 

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4 minutes ago, CoffeeDujour said:

Regular daily politics, and the idea that every topic must by definition have two equally valid sides or that all topics have some mythical center ground, has been doing that here for years. It's not just the racists feeling emboldened and coming out of the woodwork, it's all manner of fine people.

Right up till a week ago I had inlaws on Facebook reposting actual hate-speech targeting PoC, minorities, Mexicans, the gays, the trans, libruls and anyone else not wearing a red hat. The only reason they aren't posting it this week is they aren't entirely stupid, it's all-lives-matter or blue-lives or anarchists or antifa or gun rights. Any denouncements of the police in response to George Floyd's murder are couched in condemnation of protesters or looters or whoever. They aren't angered that yet another PoC has been murdered by a system and society that actively favors the hetro-normative christian white majority.

They are angered because someone filmed it.

George Floyd's death hasn't brought out any hidden racists, it's just made the majority less willing to let things slide, for the moment at least.

 

Well, that’s the beauty of social media and smartphones. We can film people showing their true colors. The funniest thing about it is that these same people are usually every day people. Coworkers, classmates, etc., 

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Hey @Ashlyn Voir - Thank you. Not only do I understand you better now, I actually think I like you, too. Use that voice! You have a story to tell and it deserves to be heard not just on these forums, but everywhere. Same for @Janet Voxel and @Nadia Chatterbox. Thank you for sharing a chapter of your stories with us. 

@Talligurl - No one is saying that the police aren't brutal in general, but they way they treat black people is far and away different from how they treat white people.

I'm 50 years old, white, middle-class, as bland as oatmeal. I am the generic white woman. I've done some shiz, though. I've broken laws a'plenty in my day. Been caught by the police doing them, too. I've done things that the police have caught me dead-to-rights doing that I've thought about after I sobered up (I don't drink like that anymore) and realized I should have been locked up without question. Guess what, though? I've never even received a ticket outside of a warning for expired tags. I've had cops hand my keys back to me and watch me drive off knowing damn good and well that I was absolutely, positively out of my mind drunk. I'm not proud - I'm utterly ashamed of things I did.

Not once have I ever even been in a position where I even had the chance to resist arrest - a cop has never put their hands on me. 

If I were black, those cops would not have treated me the same. My life would have been destroyed. I'd have been locked up, probably had (deserved) felony DUIs, I wouldn't be able to hold the job I do now, I wouldn't be living where I do now, I sure as hell wouldn't be making the money I do now. This nice, cushy suburban life I have would have been something entirely different if I were black. It's that simple. 

I spent a couple hours this morning in a massive Zoom meeting listening to my black coworkers tell their stories. Educated, affluent black people who have had pretty much the same sort of family and economic upbringing I had - and they get harassed by the police all. the. time. Not to mention, as Ashlyn said, being followed in stores, having white folks cross the street to avoid them, women clutching their purses when they pass, locking car doors when they walk by... the list is endless. 

I've never had a person be scared of me based on the way I look - the color of my skin. 

The entire system in the US has been designed to benefit white men. Read up on the ways banking and housing policies and laws were built to keep black people segregated (no, it hasn't ended) and poor. The US is designed to benefit the white man at the expense of the black man. That's not opinion. That's just facts - that's just history. It is what it is, and it is time to change it - past time to change it. 

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1 hour ago, Maitimo said:

The US is a very scary country. 

I think that about England sometimes with it's Monarchy and Royals, that it is scary, and I would not want to live under them in any way as the salaries for Dukes, etc...is way too much tax payer money.  I also find Britain's rag-mags scary and far worse than most yellow journalism published in the U.S.  The U.S. has it's rag-mags too but the press doesn't hunt people down like the rag-mags in Britain do.  Somebody should stand up to those rag-mag nothings that are so full of hate and lies in Britain.  

Where I live in Los Angeles County, it's a melting pot.  It's people from all over the world but it's pretty mellow in most places.  It depends where one lives.  I have never seen a gun in my whole entire life for instance other than on TV for example. 

I've also seen on TV, that England has it's poorer sections of towns where people live in trailers in unsanitary conditions, especially Middle Easterners.  

I will tell you one thing that is scary in Los Angeles.  People from age 9 to age 85 are suspected drug dealers and have been drug dealers.  Everyone is a possible drug dealer in Los Angeles County, people of every age and skin tone, even children.  

Edited by FairreLilette
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38 minutes ago, Ashlyn Voir said:

Well, that’s the beauty of social media and smartphones. We can film people showing their true colors. The funniest thing about it is that these same people are usually every day people. Coworkers, classmates, etc., 

Technology has sure helped, and it is remarkable how utterly stupid people are to forget it, but that just makes it easier to prosecute. I know what you meant about the "funniest thing" but honestly, I find that the most horrifying. I have run up against that at work, where Joe Schmoe looks like any other person, is nice at the coffee pot, jokes about his kids and then... just lets fly with The Worst whatever. (And yes, I've said something, which didn't make me real popular. "She should have stayed back in California with the rest of the dingbats.") Sweet little old ladies in the store... just... horrifying.

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1 hour ago, Maitimo said:

The US is a very scary country. 

I haven't been able to get this out of my mind since I read it. This makes me incredibly sad. I understand it. Growing up I never thought I'd hear Europeans say this. We were a place a lot of people wanted to visit. Of course I can't believe this is the same country of my childhood, either, in that women's rights seemed to be marching forward, as did black rights.  It wasn't all rose colored glasses, but things were improving, ya know? Women's rights are going backwards to the bad old days before I was born, and while blacks can eat at the lunch counter now, they risk getting clubbed (or worse) by the police just walking to their cars or walking home. So... sigh. It is scary here. The last four years have been a nightmare for many of us. Another four years will destroy us, possibly completely, and I don't think I'm being hyperbolic. I already wonder if we change course in November, how long will it take us to recover? And covid isn't helping.

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1 hour ago, Beth Macbain said:

I spent a couple hours this morning in a massive Zoom meeting listening to my black coworkers tell their stories. Educated, affluent black people who have had pretty much the same sort of family and economic upbringing I had - and they get harassed by the police all. the. time. Not to mention, as Ashlyn said, being followed in stores, having white folks cross the street to avoid them, women clutching their purses when they pass, locking car doors when they walk by... the list is endless. 

I've never had a person be scared of me based on the way I look - the color of my skin. 

The entire system in the US has been designed to benefit white men. Read up on the ways banking and housing policies and laws were built to keep black people segregated (no, it hasn't ended) and poor. The US is designed to benefit the white man at the expense of the black man. That's not opinion. That's just facts - that's just history. It is what it is, and it is time to change it - past time to change it. 

As an interracial couple we dealt with many things. Pulled over and stuff. Sadly many are still stuck in their old fashioned ways. I remember us getting asked to leave from a couple Denny's back then. We vowed never to patronise that chain again. My man is white --- but for us we don't see color. Just love!

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40 minutes ago, Kimmi Zehetbauer said:

As an interracial couple we dealt with many things. Pulled over and stuff. Sadly many are still stuck in their old fashioned ways. I remember us getting asked to leave from a couple Denny's back then. We vowed never to patronise that chain again. My man is white --- but for us we don't see color. Just love!

I just gotta say... You make me smile. I just went back and checked to see if I remembered what you said a while back... you two just celebrated 40 years together! And you still speak with such joy and love. I can't even imagine how difficult it would have been 40 years ago to be an interracial couple, and I know that a lot of interracial couples can't handle the constant stress. 40 years?! That's tough to do in any circumstance. Congratulations, and thanks for spreading the love.

 

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3 hours ago, Talligurl said:

Nope, I personally know someone who had a very similar experience. In his case the crime victim said he did it. Fortunately for him, the real criminal left fingerprints and they didn't match his, though it took 48 hours in jail to figure this out. The police are out of control, and we all should be worried, not doing anything is no guarantee you will be OK.

This is what bothers me. Police out of control.

Even if we solve racism tomorrow, the police are still in charge of policing themselves- which they almost never do. The system that enables the abuse is still in place, and people will still be abused, mistreated, and killed.

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3 hours ago, Ashlyn Voir said:

As my mom says, racism is passed down from generation to generation. It will never go away.

While I don't necessarily agree with the "never", I do believe that we still have quite a few generations before we manage to wipe it out, or at least come close.  While it is passed down from one generation to the next, I have seen some get educated and throw away their parents'/grandparents' views.  That still means it is a very slow process........... and we still have a very long way to go, at least in some parts of the country.

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59 minutes ago, Kimmi Zehetbauer said:

As an interracial couple we dealt with many things. Pulled over and stuff. Sadly many are still stuck in their old fashioned ways. I remember us getting asked to leave from a couple Denny's back then. We vowed never to patronise that chain again. My man is white --- but for us we don't see color. Just love!

You said you're in Canada now?

I'm not allowed to ask where (and so I won't), but I WILL say that I'm glad we've got you. You're not permitted to leave.

Now, if we can just steal @Janet Voxel back. And there are a few others here I wouldn't mind Kidnapping for Canada.

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To be fair, though... my mom died of colon cancer and when I see the wave of pink every year, I find myself wishing that we did as much work to educate people on the importance of colonoscopies as we do mammograms.

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Just now, Beth Macbain said:

To be fair, though... my mom died of colon cancer and when I see the wave of pink every year, I find myself wishing that we did as much work to educate people on the importance of colonoscopies as we do mammograms.

I think it's OK to say "hey, us too" if the group you are speaking of actually is being ignored/marginalized/left out etc. It's not really the same as the "all lives matter" folks, who seem to inevitably be members of the majority, privileged group, saying what they say. If that makes sense (it does to me, but it's late and I'm tired). My mom died of breast cancer and I totally agree that colon cancer awareness is just as important as breast cancer awareness. 

As for the graphic you shared, there are way too many people that just plain don't want to see/admit that black lives need attention in the first place. They don't want to see/admit that white privilege is a thing. They don't want that privilege snatched away (even while insisting it doesn't exist), so they make it into an either/or situation where they can be dismissive and pretend there is no crisis at all.  

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15 minutes ago, Beth Macbain said:

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Bad example. Boston bombers only bombed Boston. Vegas shooter only shot in Vegas. Diagnosing breast cancer is much different than diagnosing colon cancer.

Cops kill everyone.

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2 minutes ago, Sylvia Tamalyn said:

I think it's OK to say "hey, us too" if the group you are speaking of actually is being ignored/marginalized/left out etc. It's not really the same as the "all lives matter" folks, who seem to inevitably be members of the majority, privileged group, saying what they say. If that makes sense (it does to me, but it's late and I'm tired). My mom died of breast cancer and I totally agree that colon cancer awareness is just as important as breast cancer awareness. 

As for the graphic you shared, there are way too many people that just plain don't want to see/admit that black lives need attention in the first place. They don't want to see/admit that white privilege is a thing. They don't want that privilege snatched away (even while insisting it doesn't exist), so they make it into an either/or situation where they can be dismissive and pretend there is no crisis at all.  

Are you saying cops don't hurt other people? Sounds like that's what you're saying.

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Just now, Paul Hexem said:

Are you saying cops don't hurt other people? Sounds like that's what you're saying.

Nowhere in my post did I say any such thing. I didn't even MENTION cops. 

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29 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

You said you're in Canada now?

I'm not allowed to ask where (and so I won't), but I WILL say that I'm glad we've got you. You're not permitted to leave.

Now, if we can just steal @Janet Voxel back. And there are a few others here I wouldn't mind Kidnapping for Canada.

Well poop.

*crosses list number 28,259 off her own list and then suddenly realizes she isn't even on her own list!* 

stinks.gif.44d81fd86dd027d0e33533ab6048751e.gif

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8 minutes ago, Selene Gregoire said:

Well poop.

*crosses list number 28,259 off her own list and then suddenly realizes she isn't even on her own list!* 

stinks.gif.44d81fd86dd027d0e33533ab6048751e.gif

Who said you weren't invited?

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After reading this thread, I put up a little sign on my home, I don't think it will accomplish very much - but it might show others that someone at least cares enough to put up a sign :).

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I do wonder how many people are going to get angry at it, and consider this nothing more than virtue signaling now.  I also wonder if any of my neighbors will retaliate and put up opposing signs.  It is pretty sad, when people find BLM as an oppressive force, and retaliate as the such.  If I do see them popping up, I'll likely just take mine down since it will just be hindering the movement.  I'm not really an activist, or outspoken, if I had more to contribute I would, but at times I think I cause more damage than do any good.  I do support BLM though.

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11 minutes ago, Istelathis said:

I'm not really an activist, or outspoken, if I had more to contribute I would, but at times I think I cause more damage than do any good.

I totally understand where you are coming from, but, for what it's worth, I don't think one needs to be an activist to support BLM, civil rights, and an end to systemic racism. One just needs to be a decent, caring human being.

You are obviously that.

Thank you!

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