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Katara Spyker

Any good ideas of how to get my boyfriend to join SL?

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Hi! My boyfriend is the type who likes puzzles, likes to build stuff, constantly must be entertained, and likes mmos and stuff like that. We've played other games together before, but i've been playing SL for years, and would really like to get him into it! He's not too interested, he's only played once. Any places, ideas, stuff to show him so he doesn't quit right off the bat?

 

Thanks!!

-Kat :D

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I got a friend into playing a mmo i play. We both play SL, but her husband wont play it (he has before). Instead she managed to get him to drop WoW for FF online lol. I guess you could get him into making animations and sculpties. Possibly scripting then into being a buisness. Transfer his tendnecies to do puzzles into making things in SL he could possibly make money off. I will have to get back as to places to show him, as there are little tid bits all over SL that are interesting if he is into creating content. Lots of rp goes on, Isle of Wyrms is one of my favorite sims (actually it is a bunch of linked sims) then theres the elvan sims nearby. Usually there is someone at Wyrms sandbox tinkering with stuff, got some free cool ufo vehicles off a nice player there once.

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The way to a man's heart is through sex. Invite him to a threesome in SL. You, another woman, and him, not another dude. That should at least get him into the batter's box.

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Another guy is too much pressure. He'll be comparing his equipment with the other guy's equipment and since he's a noob, his equipment probably won't measure up and he'll feel bad. Men have fragile egos.

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Hello Katara:)

Just be honest and say it would make you happy to have him there (here lol) with you. Ask him to come and try it again for a week or so, if he still doesn't like it than don't bother him.

But make sure that during that week you show him all the things you like, and since he is your bf you probably have some common interests and you know best what he would like in SL.

One "practical" solution is to move thousands kms away and tell him he can still see you every day, but in SL lmao

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Why would you want to try and force somone to play a game that they don't want to? I don't get it. Just because YOU like it doesen't mean HE will. If he don't want to play leave it alone. Plain and simple.

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You reminded me of my friend who wanted his girlfriend to play WoW.  She tried countless times, but it didn't interest her.

Why force him to play a game he doesn't want to play?

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There is no way you can force anyone to do anything they do not wish to do.  If he has been emphatic about this, do not pressure him.  Enjoy your world..your imagination.

If, however, he has hedged and could be persuaded to try it out, then I agree with the poster who suggested asking him to try it out for a week or two.  Make sure that you have some interesting places to show him.  Take him to a building class, too, since he likes that.  Tailor your show and tell to his tastes.  If, after that time, he is not interested, then leave the topic alone.

You can continue playing other games he likes, too.  If you have other things you like together, focus on those.

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If i had a boyfriend in real, i wouldn't have brought him in SL for many reasons. I tried it in past in other similar adult game i was playing and trust me i regreted about that. :smileywink:

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I recommend you marry him, wait a year and the desire to have him join you here may disappear.  Separate interests give you that much needed space one needs in a relationship :matte-motes-smile:

I do occasionally meet couples sharing an interest in SL, but even among those the rl partners go seperate ways with SL and partner with other people (although its sweet that they watch out for each other and commisserate over virtual other inrelationships gone bad). 

Mostly I've noticed the interest in SL is onesided.  My husband has absolutely no interest in SL although we have unlimited interest in each other.

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Got to have a mindset on what you are doing. Assume that this game will benefit you both and not just him or you. If he decides it is not his cup of tea, do not bring it up again.

Let him see you play the game, hopefully you are not in noob form anymore. One of the best things about SL is the potential to look great and do great things. Being in noob skin, wearing freebie clothes does not attract too much attention. Appearance is everything if you are trying to introduce a product to someone, kind of like advertising or marketing (I intro'd my friend to SL and she was stunned by my avi's looks which I said was something that she can create on her own).

Let him play your avi, get acquainted with the movement keys, and so on.  I would suggest having him do these things in a quiet sim, he may not like it if you are in a popular area where guys are trying to hit on you (instant turn off)

He may not like it at first because all it looks like is some chatroom with a virtual avi. If you know what sort of games he likes, introduce him to similar roleplaying sims that may pique his interest. On the other hand, stuff that you two dream of can be done in SL too (example, buy a mansion, own several cars, go dancing every night, etc)

If he likes it enough to make an avi, let him create a free acocunt and have him explore on his own to get a general feel of control in this game.

If he says he is not into it, well you did all you can.

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Honestly, the worlds of SL and WoW are completely different. A lot of people might view SL as either having no goals, which they like having in MMO's. Many long-time MMO players don't enjoy that SL is slower and more choppy.

My partner and I both have had long careers in computers, though we work in completely different areas with them. He's had an SL account for many years, but he rarely goes. He comes to events, and most of my SL business colleagues have met him, but he doesn't enjoy SL itself that much.

Now, he invited me to come try WoW. I found I actually did enjoy it. So we do that together.

But I'd be a fool to insist that he come join me in SL all the time, if he doesn't like it. We have plenty of interests together outside of SL. If he feels he has to come to SL because I want him to, he'll soon come to resent it, and the relationship would certainly suffer. He works hard for this family, and to insist that he come to SL in the little spare time he has, when he doesn't share the same passion I do for it, well, that'd be kind of mean of me. If he'd rather be killing orcs, that's cool. He goes through periods wherein he enjoys having his zeppelin in SL and, when we can afford to host it, that's great. But if he doesn't want to spend more time here, again, I don't push it.

If he's spending all free time in WoW and you're spending all free time in SL, that might be a problem. Remember to keep up mutual interests that don't involve the computer. :)

Edited to add:
For the Alliance!

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My wife has an account in SL, but I've had basically no luck getting her to use it for 3 years.

Really, though, I'm less concerned with that than with how to get her to stop playing Farmville.

Anyone who says that SL is a pointless time suck clearly has never even heard of Farmville.

 

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I started dating my RL boyfriend in SL. We both joined because a friend of ours said we should try it. I got hooked, then got my roommate hooked (so she could share my addiction). Then I got my BF hooked by getting him to jump on some dance balls first & sex balls later.  He was such a cute noob, wondering how he could be dancing with these great looking women. Since we live in different cities in RL, SL has always been a fun way for us to chat & play together.

When he wants to dance, we go dancing, & I don't mind that he likes chatting with other people in the club, while I don't feel so chatty myself. If I don't like the music, I turn it down on my computer, but let him go on about how good it is. When he feels in a silly mood & starts putting on silly avatars, I do the same. Sometimes we show each other cool places we've found & have been hanging out in. Sometimes I put on enticing outfits & act like I'm just trying them to see what they look like. (Men are enticed by food, toys & sex, so we've got 2 out of 3 to work with in SL.)

Still, the most important thing is that I let him do his own thing in SL & he lets me do my own thing.  It's nice that we can both "talk SL" & understand what each other is experiencing, but we usually have those experiences apart from each other.

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Since you said he "likes puzzles, likes to build stuff, and constantly must be entertained" I think you may have a chance if you tricked him into something like showing him someone building something clever in a sandbox and asking him a few questions.  Things like "wow, do you see that?  I wonder how they do that?" and then try to build something with him watching and if you're lucky he'll do something stereotypical man-ish like take your mouse and try to show you how it's done.  If you're really lucky he'll find it a puzzling challenge and ultimately be entertained.

If you're really really lucky he'll get hooked enough to build something useful and desirable and then start selling it... who knows, it may pay for dinner now and then.

Good Luck!

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I don't like to toot my own horn, but my partner talks about this very thing with his friends' wives.

They all play Farmville and don't do housework.

They tell him that he's very lucky to have a woman who knows how to cook and clean like a wartime wife (and doesn't go to the store for bread, just makes it herself), makes a living with Second Life, and has no interest in Farmville.

Last year, a non-SL client of mine had us do fully, from the ground up, a major company's facebook game. I think they expected that I'd have some relatable experience with these games. Honestly, I had to learn it from the ground up, because I'd never played these before. After doing this project, I still don't get why these games are fun!

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Dress completely slutty, but in a style you know he likes (fantasy, urban, post apoc, etc..). Then call him over to see in RL and tell him you have a bunch of guys who want to sex you up, and that you're interested in trying it. Finally, turn up the pressure a little bit and tell him you've made up your mind and you're going to, and that he better get his a$$ inworld so you can try it together, otherwise you'll just have to let some other guy inworld ravage you. If he's not completely insensitive or controlling, he should let out an exhausting sigh, then say something like "ok, show me what I need to do...". If you have it planned right (location, highest quality mo-cap animations, music, realistic AV physics, etc..), and you hit him with the charm and feminine wiles, there aren't many gamer-type men around that won't get drawn in... As long as what's presented is what HE would find seductive, erotic, engaging, etc..

Alternatively, you could have him with you in RL and let him see you engage in some of the major fantasy roleplay that happens in SL. Lots of people don't realize that they totally love roleplay (as it happens in SL) until they try it, or at least see it for themselves... then they're hooked for good.

If he still wants no part of it, just make your AV do something totally perverted or raunchy, then smirk at him and say "let's see your little cartoons do THAT in one of your MMO's..".  Then laugh heartily, because you know that's going to stick with him *evil grin*.

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my little sister is the same way. she tries to get me to spend time with her. but she plays minecraft, i play second life and the sims 3. she had/has an account but she doesn't really find it that much fun. xD she rather play minecraft.

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My advice to you is simply "Don't".

One of the greatest mistakes made in most relationships is the belief that ALL pastimes enjoyed by one MUST be shared by the other.

This is simply not so.

Each of you is an individual, and has likes, and dislikes that will not be shared by your chosen partner. I've seen many women in my time attempt to press themselves into thier lover's passtimes, feigning interest in the mistaken impression that thier every waking moment should be shared. Eventually boredom overtakes her, and she begins trying ti wean her lover off of the thing he enjoys because she cannot enjoy it herself. Or, one partner will try to pursuade the other to take up some hobby or passtime the other partner really isn't interested in, again boredom sets in, and resistance is demonstrated.

Each of these circumstances leads to resentments, and usually arguements as well.

Take my advice, value the time you spend with your lover doing the things you BOTH enjoy doing, those things that drew you together in the first place, And remember, there is nothing at all wrong with you, OR him wanting a little personal space to enjoy passtimes with other people, or simply by themselves. Doing so does not mean a lack of commitment to the relationship.

Share with your partner your experiences in SL, the things you enjoy, and the places you've seen, but don't keep suggesting he join you there. It simply may not be his thing. IF your partner does choose to follow you into SL, let him follow the pursuits within SL that interest him, as well as showing him what interests you. Like RL you will find new dimensions to your relationship.

A Lack of interest in one of your hobbies does not translate into a lack of interest in you. share what you both enjoy sharing, leave the rest well enough alone.

 

Angel.

 

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I thought about asking my boyfriend to try SL a long time ago and I ended up not doing it.  We have been married for two years now and I still haven't told him about SL.  So many people say that your SL is YOUR SL so do as you like.  For me, SL is a place to get away.  As much as I love him, I still need to get away sometimes.

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16 minutes ago, Donna Underall said:

I thought about asking my boyfriend to try SL a long time ago and I ended up not doing it.  We have been married for two years now and I still haven't told him about SL.  So many people say that your SL is YOUR SL so do as you like.  For me, SL is a place to get away.  As much as I love him, I still need to get away sometimes.

Congratulations on your...

 SEVEN YEAR OLD NECROPOST!

Let the "Magic the Gathering" Necromancer card memes begin!
 

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