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How do you feel if strangers come into your SL home unexpectedly?


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i dont ''play' sl as i play my rl....visiting other ppl houses and property regulary...when i am bored i just open sl map and randomly tp around sl...sometimes i land to some nice places, sometimes to weird places, sometimes land to someones home, it is interesting to observe ppl reactions, from very welcoming to very annoying..also, i dont have any security orb in my place, no big deal if someone visit..if someone is really annoying, it is easy to resolve situation by pressing one button, but otherwise it is always nice to meet someone new and hear their stories

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I dislike it intensely.  I expect people to treat my home in SL as they would my home in RL, and if they don't then they receive my opinion on it.

My orb kicks their ass.

If my orb doesn't get them, I will. I love to launch people into orbit. 

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20 hours ago, Mollymews said:

as your visitors can't delete/return stuff that belongs to you on your parcel, a way to de-clutter is have the props scripted to de-rez when there is no person on your parcel to use them

Oh yes, I know that - but public shaming is much more fun:) I like getting the notification when someone has used my furniture, then I can IM them and ask them if they had fun and the next time to please clean up after themselves:) 

 

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On 5/17/2020 at 7:54 AM, Sylvia Tamalyn said:

The point of decorating a parcel, for some of us, is the pure artistic pleasure. It's for us, not you. If you happen to roam nearby and like the view, that's nice, but that's not why I decorate.

You are not being open to the idea that maybe, just maybe, not everyone is in SL for the same reasons/purpose/activities that you are. We are not cookie-cutter clones, and those of us who don't feel the need to "be social" (as you define it) are under no obligation to do so. It's this kind of pushy attitude that inspires some of us to use security in the first place. We don't want people in our faces demanding that we socialize. It would be nice if you would respect that, rather than wishing we would all just leave SL.

Where did I say I want folks to leave SL?

Where did I say I don't respect and understand the manner in which others play SL?

Did I not explain where my personal viewpoint comes from, in a thread where the OP asks for our viewpoints on how we feel about strangers coming into their home?

Did I not explain the prevailing customs of SL back when it was new?

Did I not acknowledge that the prevailing customs of SL have changed over time?

Do you recall the advertising for SL prior to its launch?  I do.  I wish I could find some of the first ads for this game.  It was marketed as a social game, in addition to showing how it had cutting-edge technology for the most realistic avatars at the time.  I recall an image of a beautiful Asian female classic avi.  I'm sorry I can't recall the precise words of the ad;  This was just under twenty years ago.  Great.  now I feel old lol

That was then -- This is now.  But again, Did I not acknowledge that the prevailing customs of SL have changed over time?

I am NOT telling people how to play.  To paraphrase George Costanza, you play your way *munch munch munch*, and I'll play my way.  And if I'm paraphrasing Seinfeld episodes, then yeah, I AM old lol  I am merely expressing my viewpoint, as requested by the OP, and expressing my confusion at the different BUT VALID viewpoints of others.

Again, I'm not calling for anyone to leave SL, especially you, Sylvia.  I enjoy your witty posts.

 

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On 5/17/2020 at 7:54 AM, Luna Bliss said:

You're starting with an erroneous assumption -- that SL is a social game. It is indeed that for some, but for others it is only a place to be creative, and for others it's a combination of social interaction and time spent alone creating. Just because you want the right to butt into my home and I don't want you to if I'm in the mood to be creative vs socializing at that particular time doesn't mean I'm anti-social (unwilling or unable to associate in a normal or friendly way with other people). I only want to be able to CHOOSE WHEN I desire to interact with others.
I don't think you understand the creative process and how it usually requires some uninterrupted time alone, and I don't think you understand introverts as opposed to the extrovert you appear to be. Instead it appears you believe everybody should be just like you in order to have validity.

Stop Putting Words In My Mouth, Post #2:

- See my reply to Sylvia.

- Show me where I demanded the right to walk into people's homes.  But don't waste too much time looking, as life is too short to spend looking for things that don't exist.

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On 5/17/2020 at 8:30 AM, Selene Gregoire said:

I do play off line games and I am not anti-social TYVM. I still don't want random strangers inside my house without an invitation. What part of "it is my home" is so hard to understand? I've been in SL since 2004 and I have yet to see this "custom" you speak of. Most of us, in the beginning, didn't come to socialize. We came to create. The social part was just an added perk.

I don't like associating with other humans very much because of the way humans treat each other. Those who are surrounded by loving family and friends have no idea how rare that situation really is.

 

ETA: The only iterations of the Sims I have not played is Online. I've been playing Sims for 20 years. But there was no way I was going to play Online after hearing some of the horror stories of Sims Online and experiencing SL.

Thank you for explaining your viewpoint.  It is only through open and honest discussion that folks with differing views can understand one another.

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On 5/17/2020 at 8:53 AM, LittleMe Jewell said:

SL was not created specifically as a 'social game'.  Many of the original folks came simply to create and/or make money selling items or land.  

Just because many are social doesn't mean that all of SL is social.  

I just can't wrap my head around people that insist on defining SL in only one way.

 

The very nature of SL being an online game means yes, it's a social game.  Not everyone treats it as such, and that's fine.  I had poor word choice:  I should have said NON-social, not ANTI-social, given the negative connotations wit the latter.  Sorry about that.

Thank you to those explaining your differing viewpoints.

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On 5/17/2020 at 3:42 PM, Prokofy Neva said:

The problem is that this hurdle is one that even older residents do not cross easily. Every day I have to explain even to five-year-old people who happen to be in group rentals for the first time that they have to turn on world/show/property owners or world/show/property lines in order to see the boundaries of their parcel and our group land in general on that sim. It's news to many. They don't habitually know this. How would they "just know". If they aren't land owners, they a have no reason to do this. If they haven't shopped for land, they have no reason to turn on land ownership so they can fly around and see the yellow parcels for sale sticking out. So they don't know.

 

THANK YOU.  I've been playing this game for almost 14 years, but never came to your conclusion.  Suddenly it all makes sense.  Wow.  I've worked in Software Support for decades, where you pretty much are expected to click on every little thing to figure out how it works.  Even before such a career, I've always been very inquisitive.  But yeah -- I've worked with plenty of customers who don't delight in picking a piece of robust software apart and experimenting with it's various options.  Some have even been afraid they'll "break" their computers -- which really means they think they'll encounter irretrievable data loss should they press the wrong button.  I need to understand that not everyone reacts to software menus in the same way that I do.  This is very hard for me to do, as fiddling with software has become so second nature that I don't even consciously think about it.

Again, thank you.  You've solved a great SL mystery for me.  I feel like running naked through everyone's houses, shouting, "Eureka!"  I don't think folks would appreciate that, though.  Well, unless I had a mesh avatar on when going nudie.  And if they're familiar with Archimedes.

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Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, Rabid Cheetah said:

The very nature of SL being an online game means yes, it's a social game.  Not everyone treats it as such, and that's fine.  I had poor word choice:  I should have said NON-social, not ANTI-social, given the negative connotations wit the latter.  Sorry about that.

Thank you to those explaining your differing viewpoints.

 

^^ Civility, I love it! ❤️

Methinks the whole notion of seeing SL as a 'game' is somewhat problematic. It's a virtual world. I remember, when I was a total noob (in many ways I still am, but I digress), I was talking in channel, using the term 'in-game', and ppl (rightfully) corrected me, saying 'inworld' is far more apt. And I agree.

Why did I say 'problematic'? Because 'game', by its very name alone, already gravitates towards a kind of free-for-all experience, where everything, from faires, to exhibitions, to homes, etc, is like a 'ride' you can take. But SL is not an MMORPG**, as it's not a game. It's Massive, it's Multiplayer (kinda) it's Online, and role-playing certainly takes places... but it's not a game. See, the distinction matters, as the purpose of an MMORPG is precisely to be together, and do the game together. But SL is just a virtual world. Being a world of sorts, ppl naturally also meet, date, and such, but the purpose of SL was never primarily to do things together: it's just a byproduct of being a mirror of RL, as it were (albeit with more options to let one's fancy loose).

See, in a real MMORPG (like Star Trek Online, for instance), players often get mad at others, who just want to solo missions and such. And they'll say stuff like "Remember, it's supposed to be an MMO, jerks!" And for an MMO, that's actually a sound mindset. At which point I hope I made sufficiently clear that treating SL, as if it were an MMORPG, is problematic, as ppl are being constantly deemed anti-social for not 'participating', as if going against the grain of the game -- except that it's not a game.   

 

** It might be, if you're going with the alternative meaning of the acronym, as often seen in typically male oriented games: Many Men Online Role-Playing Girls. 🤪

ETA: Few typos, and a few extra words to streamline some sentences better.

Edited by kiramanell
Typo
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On 5/18/2020 at 3:55 AM, kiramanell said:

 

Wait, wut?! You allow ppl to rez on your land even!?!

Yep.  Some of us do indeed.  I did at several locations, in the past.  I had a giant sculpture that was just too big to put on my existing parcels at the time.  It would have been very out of place and inconsiderate towards neighbors.  So I bought land just for the sculpture, real cheap via a Linden auction.  I had so many prims left over that I decided to put a few more artworks up, and let folks build and display their own art as well.  I even tried to make it into a place for new players who didn't have homes yet, in the spirit of how I originally played The Sims Online -- I had one of the top "Welcome" lots, and was friendly with other "Welcome" lot owners.  (Yeah, that's another reason for my community-minded approach to SL).

My second version of an art museum was when I moved it to a better location, near water, a road, and an infohub.  I subdivided the parcel, leaving a smaller area available for building and display, with notices up requesting folks use the teleporters to go to different elevations/skyboxes:  A sandbox, a public gallery to display their artwork, and an area at ground level by the part of the water for folks to put up 1-prim memorial markers for people or pets they've lost.  Sadly, no one displayed any art, few used the sandbox to actually make stuff (it was mostly to unpack crap they bought, and they'd rarely have the courtesy to delete their prims), and no one put up any memorials.  In fact, thanks to my having the return set to zero, someone decided to rez an entire beach home for themselves, complete with sex beds on my General land, and the nerve to have the door locked so even the parcel owner, me could not get in.  At that point I returned their items and reset the build permissions to Group.

I eventually tiered down, and am in the process of making version 3 of the museum at my Linden Home.  This will prevent me from offering build rights to the general public, which is for the best.  I've been far too generous in the past.  The first place even got griefed thanks to some folks living in the houseless resident skybox area and someone who gave them a free "gift" that spam-built garbage prims that played an obnoxious song.  The dangers of letting people rez stuff on your land smh

 

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On 5/18/2020 at 5:17 AM, kiramanell said:

 

'Harm' is a tricky word. They could do harm, for starters, simply by being there. I'm not truly as teensy and frail as I often feel, but I would certainly totally freak out when I logged in, and found strangers humping in my bed. 😬 Or finding a complete strange man inside my home. Not saying all men are r*pists, of course, and it's not RL, I get that, but their expressed intention alone, by entering uninvited, would definitely already trigger me.

They could do 'physical' harm to me. Again, not RL, but it can certainly be traumatizing all by itself when someone tries to force himself onto you. Not everything would need to play out so dramatically per se; but given a choice, I'd rather have a say in these matters myself.

They could do harm, simply by harrassing me with their continued, unwanted presence. There are naturally tools to get rid of them, but harm, to a degree, would still be done.

Totally get that.  Thanks for explaining that.  Yeah, the assumptions of a sizable portion of the user base in SL is unsettling.  Back when I had an old-style Linden home, a neighbor I'd chatted with just once invited me over to talk some more.  We were watching TV when suddenly he de-rezzed all his clothes and tried to seduce me.  Naturally I still have a screenshot, which I call "Trying Too Hard" lol  I bid him adieu.

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, Rabid Cheetah said:

Where did I say I want folks to leave SL?

Your exact quote was " Why don't the anti-social go play an offline game?"  

Edited by Sylvia Tamalyn
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3 minutes ago, Sylvia Tamalyn said:

Your exact quote was " Why don't the anti-social go play an offline game?"  

 

You hit the nail right on the head! That was precisely the MMORPG mindset I was talking about above! 

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10 minutes ago, Sylvia Tamalyn said:

Your exact quote was " Why don't the anti-social go play an offline game?"  

That's not telling people to leave.  It's asking them what attracts them to a social game, when there are so many other non-social offline games out there.  Thankfully, some folks have answered that.

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40 minutes ago, kiramanell said:

 

^^ Civility, I love it! ❤️

Methinks the whole notion of seeing SL as a 'game' is somewhat problematic. It's a virtual world. I remember, when I was a total noob (in many ways I still am, but I digress), I was talking in channel, using the game 'in-game', and ppl (rightfully) corrected me, saying 'inworld' is far more apt. And I agree.

Why did I say 'problematic'? Because 'game', by its very name alone, already gravitates towards a kind of free-for-all experience, where everything, from faires, to exhibitions, to homes, etc, is like a 'ride' you can take. But SL is not an MMORPG**, as it's not a game. It's Massive, it's Multiplayer (kinda) it's Online, and role-playing certainly takes places... but it's not a game. See, the distinction matters, as the purpose of an MMORPG is precisely to be together, and do the game together. But SL is just a virtual world. Being a world of sorts, ppl naturally also meet, date, and such, but the purpose of SL was never primarily to do things together: it's just a byproduct of being a mirror of RL, as it were (albeit with more options to let one's fancy loose).

See, in a real MMORPG (like Star Trek Online, for instance), players often get mad at others, who just want to solo missions and such. And they'll say stuff like "Remember, it's supposed to be an MMO, jerks!" And for an MMO, that's actually a sound mindset. At which point I hope I made sufficiently clear that treating SL, as if it were an MMORPG, is problematic, as ppl are being constantly deemed anti-social for not 'participating', as if going against the grain of the game -- except that it's not a game.   

 

** It might be, if you're going with the alternative meaning of the acronym, as often seen in typically male oriented games: Many Men Online Role-Playing Girls. 🤪

ETA: Few typos, and a few extra words to streamline some sentences better.

Thank you.  I'd like to see this thread return to it's original intent, folks answering what their personal views are on letting folks into their home, and diverge from this only when trying to explain one's view, or understand another's.  If folks want a heated discussion of orb usage, ban lines, whether or not SL is a game, a virtual world, or both, crappy behavior in MMORPG's, crappy behavior in SL, perhaps these should be taken to other threads.  I'm not the OP, but feel this thread has gone way of the rails.

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13 minutes ago, Rabid Cheetah said:

That's not telling people to leave.  It's asking them what attracts them to a social game, when there are so many other non-social offline games out there.  Thankfully, some folks have answered that.

I told you how it (the wording and the implied tone) sounded to me, and almost certainly to others as well. It certainly did not sound like "what attracts you to SL?"

You can put whatever spin you like on it, though, as I have answered the question and am moving along.

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1 hour ago, Rabid Cheetah said:

Again, thank you.  You've solved a great SL mystery for me.  I feel like running naked through everyone's houses, shouting, "Eureka!"  I don't think folks would appreciate that, though.  Well, unless I had a mesh avatar on when going nudie.  And if they're familiar with Archimedes.

I'd make an exception for that. Bring Archi with you and you can run relays. 😇

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6 hours ago, kiramanell said:

Methinks the whole notion of seeing SL as a 'game' is somewhat problematic.

"Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I assure you, it's much more serious than that."

Bill Shankly

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7 hours ago, Sylvia Tamalyn said:

I told you how it (the wording and the implied tone) sounded to me, and almost certainly to others as well. It certainly did not sound like "what attracts you to SL?"

You can put whatever spin you like on it, though, as I have answered the question and am moving along.

And I did offer an apology for using the word ANTI-social, when I should have said NON-social.  It's not spin.  But whatever.  Indeed, let's move on.

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I guess it might be because I am a very private person in real life, but I really do not like it when people I do not know show up in  my SL house. To me, my house is something to hide in and decorate as I see fit This is all the more important to me because I am unable to afford my own apartment in real life, and my SL home is something that allows me to pretend that I do.

I used to have banlines but I hated just how ugly it looked. Now that I have a house on Bellesseria, I just lock the doors and set the security to only allowing myself and those that I add.

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