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AdoringMinx

accused of being a male while on SL

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Posted (edited)
On 5/10/2020 at 10:04 AM, Theresa Tennyson said:

Your username says, "I'm an adoring minx" and your display name says "I'm femme." That's what you are (a generic type of person), not who you are (an individual.)

Most people don't introduce themselves by saying what they are because that's usually obvious. So, when they do, people may be thinking that they're doing so because they're really not that type of person.

The OP has I'm Femme as her display name.  There are "femmeboi" things on Marketplace I have seen.  A femmeboi or an item for a femmeboi would be for what is usually known as a transvestite in real life.  I've usually seen items on Mp spelled femmeboi with an i...but here is one with a y...femmeboy.  Perhaps people are saying the OP who has the display name of "I'm Femme" are thinking the display name is short for femmeboi and therefore the OP is really a male.  

https://marketplace.secondlife.com/p/HTM-Lin-Maitreya-Catya-Femboy-Shape/11653127

Edited by JanuarySwan

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Posted (edited)
On 5/11/2020 at 12:01 AM, Lindal Kidd said:

Theresa and Ballpark may have a point...having a Display name, a username, and a "hyper feminine" avatar may make it appear to some people that you are...well, insisting.  You know, "I'm a girl!  I'm a girl!  I'M A GIRL!!!" And then they take that as an indication that maybe you're NOT a girl.

 

This part really rings true to me. :) I often see it a game like Star Trek Online: women with extremely large breasteses, that makes one wonder (it's mostly a boys-only game anyway). But I don't judge, like you say. However ppl feel like they need to represent themselves, that's what they got to do.

The funny flipside of that, LOL, is when I went to a sim once, where women purposely tried to pretend to be men. :) It was glorious: 'men' belching, farting, drinking excessive beer and be loud, etc. 😁Yeah, there was some overcompensating going on there, for sure.

Edited by kiramanell
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On 5/14/2020 at 11:08 PM, JanuarySwan said:

The OP has I'm Femme as her display name.  There are "femmeboi" things on Marketplace I have seen.  A femmeboi or an item for a femmeboi would be for what is usually known as a transvestite in real life.  I've usually seen items on Mp spelled femmeboi with an i...but here is one with a y...femmeboy.  Perhaps people are saying the OP who has the display name of "I'm Femme" are thinking the display name is short for femmeboi and therefore the OP is really a male.  

https://marketplace.secondlife.com/p/HTM-Lin-Maitreya-Catya-Femboy-Shape/11653127

Thats actually a valid point haha. I guess I'll rethink my display name 😂

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Posted (edited)
On 5/15/2020 at 6:08 AM, JanuarySwan said:

The OP has I'm Femme as her display name.  There are "femmeboi" things on Marketplace I have seen.  A femmeboi or an item for a femmeboi would be for what is usually known as a transvestite in real life.  I've usually seen items on Mp spelled femmeboi with an i...but here is one with a y...femmeboy.  Perhaps people are saying the OP who has the display name of "I'm Femme" are thinking the display name is short for femmeboi and therefore the OP is really a male.  

https://marketplace.secondlife.com/p/HTM-Lin-Maitreya-Catya-Femboy-Shape/11653127

Femme = woman (dictionary definition..)

Femboy = feminine boy

Femme isn't short for femboy (or if it is, this is the first time I'm even hearing the term "femmeboy" and I'm very into girly guys). The 'i' at the end is just there for the cute factor. 

Edited by Wulfie Reanimator
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Posted (edited)
52 minutes ago, Wulfie Reanimator said:

Femme = woman (dictionary definition..)

Femboy = feminine boy

Femme isn't short for femboy (or if it is, this is the first time I'm even hearing the term "femmeboy" and I'm very into girly guys). The 'i' at the end is just there for the cute factor. 

Maybe you misunderstand me...it's a coined word I've seen on Marketplace...and it's usually femmeboi.   However, I suggested that people may be thinking the OP is a male is because of her username which is I'm Femme.  See the OP's title of the thread and her opening post because she was wondering why a lot of avatars are thinking she is a male behind her female avatar.  I mean maybe this is the reason?  I don't know really.  But, femme means woman in French, I think.   

Edited by JanuarySwan

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Posted (edited)
7 minutes ago, JanuarySwan said:

Maybe you misunderstand me...it's a coined word I've seen on Marketplace...and it's usually femmeboi.   However, I suggested that people may be thinking the OP is a male is because of her username which is I'm Femme.  See the OP's title of the thread and her opening post because she was wondering why a lot of avatars are thinking she is a male when she is a female avatar.  I mean maybe this is the reason?  I don't know really.  But, femme means woman in French, I think.   

I understood what you meant, 100%.

But facts of the matter are that there are exactly 175 products on Marketplace mentioning "femmeboy" or "femmeboi" while there are 12064 femboy/femboi products. It's not a "coined term for Marketplace." It has existed before SL.

If there are people genuinely mistaking "I'm Femme" with "I'm a male," that's going to be a fraction of a percent and I'd love to meet one to get it off my bucket-list. The display name attracting people who want to go out of their way to disprove the statement is a more likely scenario.

Edited by Wulfie Reanimator

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1 minute ago, Wulfie Reanimator said:

I understand what you meant, 100%.

But facts of the matter are that there are exactly 175 products on Marketplace mentioning "femmeboy" or "femmeboi" while there are 12064 femboy/femboi products. It's not a "coined term for Marketplace." It has existed before SL.

If there are people mistaking "I'm Femme" with "I'm a male," that's going to be a fraction of a percent and I'd love to meet one to get it off my bucket-list.

I don't know what that has to do with much as to how many.  It is a possibility as to why other's are IMing her saying she's a male.  And, I'll leave it at that.  

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Posted (edited)
48 minutes ago, Wulfie Reanimator said:

The display name attracting people who want to go out of their way to disprove the statement is a more likely scenario.

I see you added this.  But, maybe I was right.  And, if she wants to be perceived as a female/female she has every right and I was just trying to help.  And, she says in her OP "what about my avatar screams, Dude!" because she gets IM'd more than once about it - her being a male when she is a woman avatar and wants to be a woman avatar and I thought perhaps her display name I'm Femme.  Well, I just searched what "Femme" means and received this answer, so I wasn't so far out there with my therory:  

Femme is a term used to describe a lesbian who exhibits a feminine identity. ... In modern time, it has also been used by self-described feminine queer individuals of any gender. The word "femme" itself comes from French and means "woman".

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Femme

 

Edited by JanuarySwan
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Oh no.. I an't falling for that one again :D 

 

When I was a wee noob years ago, I mayyy or may not have gotten duped into playing that game of trying to prove gender but quickly realized it was all for naught. 

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On 5/17/2020 at 12:56 AM, Wulfie Reanimator said:

Femme = woman (dictionary definition..)

Femboy = feminine boy

Femme isn't short for femboy (or if it is, this is the first time I'm even hearing the term "femmeboy" and I'm very into girly guys). The 'i' at the end is just there for the cute factor. 

Femme (with two Ms and an E) usually refers to a feminine lesbian, but it can also refer to a feminine-presenting man like myself. And spelling "boy" as "boi" isn't just for cuteness, it almost exclusively refers to a masculine-presenting or androgynous woman. Likewise "gurl" instead of "girl" refers to a trans woman or feminine-presenting man.  

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, Maitimo said:

Femme (with two Ms and an E) usually refers to a feminine lesbian, but it can also refer to a feminine-presenting man like myself. And spelling "boy" as "boi" isn't just for cuteness, it almost exclusively refers to a masculine-presenting or androgynous woman. Likewise "gurl" instead of "girl" refers to a trans woman or feminine-presenting man.  

 

I think you may be jumping the gun a bit here. Context is everything. Like the typical Femme Fatale has nothing to do with lesbianism. Likewise, 'boi' rarely, except in a very specific context, refers to 'a masculine-presenting or androgynous woman.' As in 'fanboi', for instance. It's mostly just a cute way of saying boy. (And probably, in the early days, meant to evade forum sensors filtering for 'fanboy' -- a term often seen as inflammatory in highly fan-packed forums, like for Star Wars/Star Trek, etc).

Als, 'gurl' -- outside the LGBT community - is mostly simply just a variant spelling of 'girl.'

Edited by kiramanell
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I was at an adult sim hangout and looking for "trouble" *giggles*... But this guy with a great looking avatar starts chatting with me.  And yeah, he wanted voice also.  I said NO!  I got the "You must be a guy".  Then I'm like ok... Plugged in my headset and talked to him to prove that I'm a female.  So we get back to his place and I hang up and start back the normal chat with roleplaying and emotes.  He was like why not use voice?  Then I said.  I know what voice chat escort make and if you want voice, it will cost you L$10000.  Other wise... You are getting chat text.  Needless to say, it ended right there. LOL  He ejected me from his land as I was laughing the whole time. 

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8 hours ago, Kayla Whittaker said:

I was at an adult sim hangout and looking for "trouble" *giggles*... But this guy with a great looking avatar starts chatting with me.  And yeah, he wanted voice also.  I said NO!  I got the "You must be a guy".  Then I'm like ok... Plugged in my headset and talked to him to prove that I'm a female.  So we get back to his place and I hang up and start back the normal chat with roleplaying and emotes.  He was like why not use voice?  Then I said.  I know what voice chat escort make and if you want voice, it will cost you L$10000.  Other wise... You are getting chat text.  Needless to say, it ended right there. LOL  He ejected me from his land as I was laughing the whole time. 

that is bloody priceless.  Like the idiots who are always calling offering to buy our house... I tell them...  3 million dollars cash, you pay closing costs, it's yours... well, it's a very small house... not worth all that...  they usually get very polite and quiet... smiles.

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Here is another good one... My dearly departed partner here in SL and RL of 4 years.  After his death, I ended up with a lot of his personal belongings, like computers, photos, diecast car collection, 2 domestic bengal cats, etc.  But anyhoo... I have all of his SL accounts now which I use for video props (don't ask about that one... LOL).  I decided to go on with one of his avatars, just lurk around and do some adult roleplaying as a male.  Well... I started a RP with this female and during some of the emotes, I messed up and used he, him & his on talking about her.  Then she finally went ((OOC)) to me.  "Not to be rude or anything... Are you a female playing a male avatar?"  OMG!  I was so busted.  I just said yes, because I knew of the mistake after I hit enter.  So yeah, I don't do a very good job of playing a guy.

 

Which leads to another one that happen back in 2006.  Met a guy on here, and OMG... Great avatar, just said all the right things to me and everything went great between us for a couple of months.  Then I pressed the issue about RL and he kept putting it off and really never would answer my questions on it.  The guy was a female in RL... My first real heart break in SL.  I was 23 years of age and still wet behind the ears as they say.  But lesson learned. 

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2 hours ago, Kayla Whittaker said:

Here is another good one... My dearly departed partner here in SL and RL of 4 years.  After his death, I ended up with a lot of his personal belongings, like computers, photos, diecast car collection, 2 domestic bengal cats, etc.  But anyhoo... I have all of his SL accounts now which I use for video props (don't ask about that one... LOL).  I decided to go on with one of his avatars, just lurk around and do some adult roleplaying as a male.  Well... I started a RP with this female and during some of the emotes, I messed up and used he, him & his on talking about her.  Then she finally went ((OOC)) to me.  "Not to be rude or anything... Are you a female playing a male avatar?"  OMG!  I was so busted.  I just said yes, because I knew of the mistake after I hit enter.  So yeah, I don't do a very good job of playing a guy.

 

Which leads to another one that happen back in 2006.  Met a guy on here, and OMG... Great avatar, just said all the right things to me and everything went great between us for a couple of months.  Then I pressed the issue about RL and he kept putting it off and really never would answer my questions on it.  The guy was a female in RL... My first real heart break in SL.  I was 23 years of age and still wet behind the ears as they say.  But lesson learned. 

It's funny... when I play with 'manvi' I channel the person he was designed to be... my late RL partner... and even my BFF here notices the difference in my tone and my word choices.  But I think it's because I made him to remember someone... not sure how it would work if I were trying to go out and 'get some' though... i would never... bc that just would feel... icky

In RL he would have enjoyed flirting, so I flirt with gilrs sometimes... which is easy for me as i'm bi anyway and I don't have a RL outlet for that and I know he would not mind

 if he's up there looking down, I bet he's wishing he lived long enough to join SL he loved playing online. 

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I've only ever met one "girl" who was obviously a "guy"!!! Their feet didn't fit their shoes,  all kinds of alpha issues, and zero fashion sense. I tried to help "them", but "they" didn't care much. And very gruff. I ended up blocking "them"!!!

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1 hour ago, Bagnu said:

I've only ever met one "girl" who was obviously a "guy"!!! Their feet didn't fit their shoes,  all kinds of alpha issues, and zero fashion sense. I tried to help "them", but "they" didn't care much. And very gruff. I ended up blocking "them"!!!

Not all girls are fashionistas or know their way around 8 inch stilettos.

As for the gender proving thing. I personally like to just mess with them when it happens to me. I find that most males in SL have a very VERY fragile sense of masculinity that can shatter at the smallest thing to challenge it. I had one a while back it went something like....

Them : "So, you do voice?"

Me : "When I feel like it"

Them : "Go on voice then baby I wanna hear you speak"

Me : "No, I don't feel like it"

Them : "So you a guy?"

Me : "No, I just don't want to do voice right now"

Them : "If you don't do voice then you obviously a guy, *****, you got a d***?"

Me : "Why, you want to stroke it?"

Them : "So you a dude then?"

Me : "No"

Them : "But you just said you had a d***, girls don't have d***s"

Me : "I do at the moment..."

Them : "How can you be a girl and only have a d*** at the moment? Where did this d*** come from?"

Me : "Idk, where did you say you teleported from again?"

Them : "F*** you b***"

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49 minutes ago, ItHadToComeToThis said:

Not all girls are fashionistas or know their way around 8 inch stilettos.

As for the gender proving thing. I personally like to just mess with them when it happens to me. I find that most males in SL have a very VERY fragile sense of masculinity that can shatter at the smallest thing to challenge it. I had one a while back it went something like....

Them : "So, you do voice?"

Me : "When I feel like it"

Them : "Go on voice then baby I wanna hear you speak"

Me : "No, I don't feel like it"

Them : "So you a guy?"

Me : "No, I just don't want to do voice right now"

Them : "If you don't do voice then you obviously a guy, *****, you got a d***?"

Me : "Why, you want to stroke it?"

Them : "So you a dude then?"

Me : "No"

Them : "But you just said you had a d***, girls don't have d***s"

Me : "I do at the moment..."

Them : "How can you be a girl and only have a d*** at the moment? Where did this d*** come from?"

Me : "Idk, where did you say you teleported from again?"

Them : "F*** you b***"

I am so stealing this and using it when I get the "you must be a guy" IM. I love it

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2 hours ago, Bagnu said:

I've only ever met one "girl" who was obviously a "guy"!!! Their feet didn't fit their shoes,  all kinds of alpha issues, and zero fashion sense. I tried to help "them", but "they" didn't care much. And very gruff. I ended up blocking "them"!!!

I had this friend once, who I am sure was a guy. She was always naked, now I know girls can like to be naked, but one day she IMed me and wanted to hang out, and I told her I was at an art show and invited her to come see it. She said she couldn't because she was naked. I told her to throw on a dress and come over. Her response was that she had no clothes and couldn't get any clothes for some weird reason. I was thinking there is no girl out there who won't figure out how to get herself some clothes in SL.

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On 5/9/2020 at 8:07 PM, Marianne Little said:

Do you have pictures of yourself?

No matter how you look, I am sure someone does this to get you on voice or on camera... it is a power play. If they accuse 100 avatars, maybe it works on some.

If you voice, they will accuse you of voice morphing, and demand pictures. If you send them a picture, they will say it is false, then demand to cam with you. Pushy, pushy, pushy. It is best to just mute them, do not get involved in a discussion.

I agree with this, but I also want to add a bit of something to it as well. A lot of the reason some men or even some women request to do a voice check or want you on voice at least once is because of how many people over the years have come on here pretending to be something they are not and misleading people in a relationship.

For example when I first joined one of the first friends I made was two ladies who were in a same sex relationship. She had been in that relationship for a number of years and we had all hung out on several occasions just chillin and having a few laughs. Now I don't know the specifics because I did not pry, but long story short one of them was a man pretending to be a woman who to my understanding finally confessed. I am not going to get in to what a poop show mess that turned out to be, but needless to say I don't blame people for asking.

That being said a person still has the right to say no and it's really just an issue of taking your word for it at that point. Personally voice was not a requirement for me in any of my friendships/relationships unless you start pushing to know more RL personal stuff about me. Then I will usually basically say that's a long story we can have a voice chat if you want because I am not typing all that out. lol If they decline then I say no problem then. Another time maybe and wrap it in a box and toss it on the shelf and basically forget about it. lol The only time normally it may come up again is if someone wants to come game with me outside of SL and if I am close to them enough to want to allow them in to that side of my life I let them know up front. You need Discord and you need to voice because of the type of games I play your going to need to communicate verbally so you don't die or more importantly you don't get me killed. lol 😁

If it's closer to a situation of what @Marianne Little has described then just tell them no. If saying it ONE TIME wasn't enough and they become pushy then shut that shirt down, no exceptions and keep it moving. Also one other thing and how this irks me to no end. Women do this too, but it's more common to see men do it. If they drop a ding dong picture on you right after hi then mute them immediately. They're an idiot. You'll thank me later later for that. You're welcome. lol 😎👍😁😉

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On 5/10/2020 at 7:04 PM, AdoringMinx said:

All my proportions are pretty normal. I can agree with your last point though

Then it must be the shoes.
Tell tell sign is, always wearing the same shoes, or wearing low quality shoes, or wearing shoes which simply do not fit to that outfit

Or worst of all: wearing no shoes at all on your system feet.

Go buy shoes! Many shoes,

 

 

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6 minutes ago, Caroline Takeda said:

Then it must be the shoes.
Tell tell sign is, always wearing the same shoes, or wearing low quality shoes, or wearing shoes which simply do not fit to that outfit

Or worst of all: wearing no shoes at all on your system feet.

Go buy shoes! Many shoes,

 

 

I have not changed outfits in weeks because I have decorated houses.... 😇

But what I wear is probably nice. Does Happy Weekend sales, Friday and Saturday sales count? 😉

I love flats and kitten heels now. Almost never high heels.

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1 minute ago, Marianne Little said:

I have not changed outfits in weeks because I have decorated houses.... 😇

But what I wear is probably nice. Does Happy Weekend sales, Friday and Saturday sales count? 😉

I love flats and kitten heels now. Almost never high heels.

Yes, flats are actually better as heels are suspicious (just like big boobs).
And yes, sales do count as well, because that is a way to really get a LOT of shoes.

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