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Based off the title, i wanted to get different perspectives on this problematic trend. On several occasions while in a sim, some random dude will IM me claiming i'm a guy as if he figured it out. I'll respond to them saying i'm indeed a female, and born with female parts but they insist that i'm not. While I don't feel the need to prove my sex to some random person on the internet, I am however curious as to what about my avi screams "THAT'S A DUDE!!" 

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Do you have pictures of yourself? No matter how you look, I am sure someone does this to get you on voice or on camera... it is a power play. If they accuse 100 avatars, maybe it works on some.

this ^^ be who you are, who you want to be, dress as you want and don't fret it i have reached the point in my own SL now where I say yes to everything.  Are you a girl? yes. Are you a boy?

God, it drives me absolutely crazy when those kind show up. One reason why I don't voice. I mean, I absolutely hate voice. It drives my anxiety crazy. I can handle it, for  work and stuff like that (a

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Some men assume that when one has in their profile "no voice, cam or pics". Cam and pictures are very private and most don't offer those anyway. However, many men think that if one doesn't voice then they must be hiding something. 

Other times I've heard men say that if a woman looks a certain way...too trashy, too out of proportion, have too many sex groups in their profile, sexually aggressive profile, wears clothing that's too revealing, etc then it makes them think it's a guy. 

Anyone can be whoever or whatever that they want in sl. Then the morals come regarding if someone is trying to fool someone or what not. 

I wouldn't worry about it. If you want to worry about it then just go on voice, say a little bit then hopefully that will shut them up.

 

 

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31 minutes ago, AdoringMinx said:

Based off the title, i wanted to get different perspectives on this problematic trend. On several occasions while in a sim, some random dude will IM me claiming i'm a guy as if he figured it out. I'll respond to them saying i'm indeed a female, and born with female parts but they insist that i'm not. While I don't feel the need to prove my sex to some random person on the internet, I am however curious as to what about my avi screams "THAT'S A DUDE!!" 

Do you have pictures of yourself?

No matter how you look, I am sure someone does this to get you on voice or on camera... it is a power play. If they accuse 100 avatars, maybe it works on some.

If you voice, they will accuse you of voice morphing, and demand pictures. If you send them a picture, they will say it is false, then demand to cam with you. Pushy, pushy, pushy. It is best to just mute them, do not get involved in a discussion.

Edited by Marianne Little
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2 hours ago, ClariceRose said:

Some men assume that when one has in their profile "no voice, cam or pics". Cam and pictures are very private and most don't offer those anyway. However, many men think that if one doesn't voice then they must be hiding something. 

Other times I've heard men say that if a woman looks a certain way...too trashy, too out of proportion, have too many sex groups in their profile, sexually aggressive profile, wears clothing that's too revealing, etc then it makes them think it's a guy. 

Anyone can be whoever or whatever that they want in sl. Then the morals come regarding if someone is trying to fool someone or what not. 

I wouldn't worry about it. If you want to worry about it then just go on voice, say a little bit then hopefully that will shut them up.

 

 

I don't have any of those  listed in my profile but my avi is sporting pig tails right now.  😂But , its crazy how they come up with these little "telltale signs" I just like my avi to look hyper-feminine. But thank you for your input, i'm not gonna fret over it.

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2 hours ago, Marianne Little said:

Do you have pictures of yourself?

No matter how you look, I am sure someone does this to get you on voice or on camera... it is a power play. If they accuse 100 avatars, maybe it works on some.

If you voice, they will accuse you of voice morphing, and demand pictures. If you send them a picture, they will say it is false, then demand to cam with you. Pushy, pushy, pushy. It is best to just mute them, do not get involved in a discussion.

I have no pictures on the profile its self, but I have some stored in my inventory, it's rare i get asked for a picture but i'm not against it. But you're right, its kind of unfortunate they go these lengths, like if you want to see what I look like just ask. But it's just a never ending battle by the sounds of it. I appreciate your advice, definitely gonna ignore them 

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The issue mainly stems for the fact its very anonymous being on SL. I’m not above admitting I ran around with a female avatar and got boatloads of attention from guys who basically wanted pixelbumping. Essentially, they want reassurance, as them trying to flirt with you, while there’s a guy behind the keyboard often hurts their fragile masculinity.

On the other end of the spectrum, an old friend has a very ‘private, reserved and shy’ female partner on SL for a while. Turned out; They’re a dude and he indeed got catfished with fake photos ect.

 It’s the Internet, Shenanigans like this will always be present. Best to just ignore it.

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10 hours ago, AdoringMinx said:

Based off the title, i wanted to get different perspectives on this problematic trend. On several occasions while in a sim, some random dude will IM me claiming i'm a guy as if he figured it out. I'll respond to them saying i'm indeed a female, and born with female parts but they insist that i'm not. While I don't feel the need to prove my sex to some random person on the internet, I am however curious as to what about my avi screams "THAT'S A DUDE!!" 

You don't have a name. Your username is a description and your display name is an adjective.

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Tell him to go  hit up a light socket Blacklist him he just has nothing better to do many have been doing this for a decade that he can't get it so they like to rip on people don't lower yourself to this person level rise.   Personally its none is business who you only the people who know you close to you and trust you don't have to open up for everyone just because they try its waste of time.    Next time some bothers you say thanks your so kind I have little something for you send them a link to a Inflatable Doll then after that block list them end of story.

Edited by Christina Mysterious
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11 hours ago, AdoringMinx said:

Based off the title, i wanted to get different perspectives on this problematic trend. On several occasions while in a sim, some random dude will IM me claiming i'm a guy as if he figured it out. I'll respond to them saying i'm indeed a female, and born with female parts but they insist that i'm not. While I don't feel the need to prove my sex to some random person on the internet, I am however curious as to what about my avi screams "THAT'S A DUDE!!" 

If you are a blonde with massive boobs, you might look more like a male trying to hard to be a female in Second Life BUT it just sounds like the "man"/random dude(s) who IM you are just being d1cks. Maybe you should be reconsidering the places you hang out.

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9 hours ago, AdoringMinx said:

I don't have any of those  listed in my profile but my avi is sporting pig tails right now.  😂But , its crazy how they come up with these little "telltale signs" I just like my avi to look hyper-feminine. But thank you for your input, i'm not gonna fret over it.

this ^^

be who you are, who you want to be, dress as you want and don't fret it

i have reached the point in my own SL now where I say yes to everything.  Are you a girl? yes. Are you a boy? yes. Are you a cat? yes. A dog? yes. And a giraffe. And a elephant. Are you telling the truth? yes. Are you lying to me? yes. Do you want to cam? yes. Do you want to voice? yes.  I can't hear you? yes. I can't see you? yes. Are you having me on? yes

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God, it drives me absolutely crazy when those kind show up. One reason why I don't voice. I mean, I absolutely hate voice. It drives my anxiety crazy. I can handle it, for  work and stuff like that (auctions and things) but there's a reason I actively avoid places that "require voice" or "require voice verification" and it's not because I "have something to hide" or whatever. Mentally, I can't handle being in areas with people voicing unless we're friends. But even then, and I love my friends to death don't get me wrong, but, I still prefer typing. 

The way I see it, being asked to "voice verify" or other things that "verify I'm a woman" or whatever are a major violation of privacy, first of all. Like, why should I "verify" for you? I'm not here to please you, to stroke your ego, or anything else. If you must ask, IF you simply MUST know, I am a biological android. A fleshy machine, with a neural-net processor, a learning computer. 

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6 hours ago, Theresa Tennyson said:

You don't have a name. Your username is a description and your display name is an adjective.

Not everyone on SL has legacy names but thanks anyways

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6 hours ago, Marigold Devin said:

If you are a blonde with massive boobs, you might look more like a male trying to hard to be a female in Second Life BUT it just sounds like the "man"/random dude(s) who IM you are just being d1cks. Maybe you should be reconsidering the places you hang out.

All my proportions are pretty normal. I can agree with your last point though

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7 minutes ago, AdoringMinx said:

Not everyone on SL has legacy names but thanks anyways

Your username says, "I'm an adoring minx" and your display name says "I'm femme." That's what you are (a generic type of person), not who you are (an individual.)

Most people don't introduce themselves by saying what they are because that's usually obvious. So, when they do, people may be thinking that they're doing so because they're really not that type of person.

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Just now, Theresa Tennyson said:

Your username says, "I'm an adoring minx" and your display name says "I'm femme." That's what you are (a generic type of person), not who you are (an individual.)

Most people don't introduce themselves by saying what they are because that's usually obvious. So, when they do, people may be thinking that they're doing so because they're really not that type of person.

So because my username is descriptive that's an indicator that i'm a man mascaraing behind a female avi? That's new to me honestly, I see a lot of different people with descriptive adjectives in their usernames or display names. 

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2 minutes ago, AdoringMinx said:

So because my username is descriptive that's an indicator that i'm a man mascaraing behind a female avi? That's new to me honestly, I see a lot of different people with descriptive adjectives in their usernames or display names. 

You asked why people might think you weren't female; I suggested a reason. There just isn't the level of individuality most people have in their names because they want to be distinguished as individuals. The name "CowboyBob" suggests to me someone named Bob who's a cowboy (or at least cowboy-ish); the name "SexyCowboy" suggests to me someone who's probably neither of those things. Just lessons learned from a long time on the Internet.

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44 minutes ago, AdoringMinx said:

So because my username is descriptive that's an indicator that i'm a man mascaraing behind a female avi? That's new to me honestly, I see a lot of different people with descriptive adjectives in their usernames or display names. 

Thats probably the reason.   When your putting too much of the gender in Sl then some are suspicious.  

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In my opinion there is only one reason to worry about the gender of people on SL. You are hoping to maybe someday meet in RL. Since that is not something I ever want to do, questions about RL gender are a red flag to me.

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53 minutes ago, ballparkdogg said:

Thats probably the reason.   When your putting too much of the gender in Sl then some are suspicious.  

I agree, this is why I would change mine if It wasn't going to cost me so much.

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Ask the guy why he is so sexually insecure that he will accuse random female avatars of being men. Tell him that he is only showing a fearful and fragile little ego. 

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1 minute ago, Bree Giffen said:

Ask the guy why he is so sexually insecure that he will accuse random female avatars of being men. Tell him that he is only showing a fearful and fragile little ego. 

I love that!

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42 minutes ago, Talligurl said:

I agree, this is why I would change mine if It wasn't going to cost me so much.

Yeah I just saw that I need to have a premium membership in order to change it. It's still pretty silly to me how much emphasis is put on a name..over the internet. 

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if you're really a girl they're suspicious. if you're really a boy they're suspicious. if you're too pretty, too ugly, somebody is. 

i'm not looking or man or a woman here so be who you want to be.

If you're looking for a particular someone i'll help you look.

but come here to play, to meet people and hang out!

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