Banned from Catwa (? @.@

[Seicher Rae]

13 minutes ago, Sukubia Scarmon said:

While I agree with the general statement, I cannot agree that you can be abused here. In my opinion, there can be attempts, but in the end, I can stop it happening to me whenever I want - I just have to go offline. I have a very easy escape at my hands. In RL abusive situations, that's often not the case. On the internet, I'm the one controlling who and what has how much power over me. 

I think you bring up some interesting points. (I love how sometimes in the Forums some of the threads just devolve into gawd knows what, but sometimes get derailed into a serious and interesting direction.)

I'm not going to push this much because I think you and I are more in agreement than not. I think in a perfect world where everyone online is mentally stable that your remarks are true about not being able to be abused online on purpose. But that isn't the case. I contend that people's emotional and mental well-being can be altered by online "stuff." Now, you can still argue that all you have to do is turn off the monitor and problem solved, and yeah, I agree with that to a point. But sometimes it isn't always that easy, or cut and dried. Speaking from personal experience, I know abuse in RL and have PTSD for a variety of reasons spread over a few incidents over decades. I can also say that I experienced PTSD causing "stuff" online as well.

So, basically I agree with what you wrote in your post, to me and LF, but I don't think it as as neat and tidy or as black and white as saying "it can't happen, just turn off the computer."

Edited May 5, 2020 by Seicher Rae
effing typos

[Sylvia Tamalyn]

And to add to what @Seicher Rae is saying here, this cavalier tossing about of words like "bully", "troll", etc., makes it more likely that others won't take the actual cases where someone is truly suffering seriously.

You (mis)use a word often enough, and people will get to where they have no reaction to it at all. It's kind of counterproductive if you are sincerely trying to help folks (and whether or not that is the case is another topic altogether...). 

Edited May 5, 2020 by Sylvia Tamalyn

[Beth Macbain]

17 minutes ago, Seicher Rae said:

but when I do it is usually because the person shows zero comprehension, cannot be talked to, etc. so writing a thoughtful paragraph or two just would have zero effect

This. It's not trolling, and it's not harassment. It's simply saying, "I've dealt with you before and found that trying to have a discussion with you is similar to slamming my head repeatedly against a brick wall with the exact same results - a headache and a feeling of sadness and regret for the loss of my time that could have been spent more enjoyably by shoving toothpicks beneath my fingernails."

No one can offend another person. That person chooses to be offended. 

[Beth Macbain]

Oh, and sometimes things are genuinely funny.

[FairreLilette]

35 minutes ago, Sukubia Scarmon said:

While I agree with the general statement, I cannot agree that you can be abused here. In my opinion, there can be attempts, but in the end, I can stop it happening to me whenever I want - I just have to go offline. I have a very easy escape at my hands. In RL abusive situations, that's often not the case. On the internet, I'm the one controlling who and what has how much power over me. 
 

Yes you can be bullied/abused online...it's something that's been talked about for 20 years or more.  Why should I have to go offline when I am not the one in the wrong?  It's like punishing the victim and I am also part of a community here.  What other community do you want me to go when I cannot hardly concentrate on anything much because of the COVID-19 situation.  Because I'm bullied, am I supposed to go hide in a corner and cower there?

I have been through real abuse myself both physical and emotional so I know darn well what they are about as well.  

And, as far as power, there is no on/off button for the REACTIONS...that would be a good power to give each individual, imo.  

I don't like the options given to people of 'oh there are bullies in your community, just go offline' kind of blanket solution.  I need to talk to LL about this one particular username who never speaks as I'd like their opinion on what is up there and maybe they can help.  Plus, I'd like to ask if we can have the power to turn on/off reactions.  

Do I really need this community reputation even if someone might be stalking me?   Her behavior is very bizarre.   It just is.  I mean a poster could say their cat or Mom just died and she will laugh a "haha".   She may react to me, the poster above me or the poster below me...but she is making herself known to me and for what reason...IDK.  

Edited May 5, 2020 by FairreLilette

[Seicher Rae]

1 minute ago, Beth Macbain said:

No one can offend another person. That person chooses to be offended. 

Pretty much what I said to Sukubia above, that I pretty much agree with you buuuut... not entirely.

In a perfect world where we are all self-actualized entities then that is probably true. In fact I've said similar things to my bff and he gets P.O'd at me when I do. I've told him that we choose our reactions, and then we go around about do/don't/do/don't/mommmmmmm!  So while strictly speaking I can't offend you if you don't allow it, again, it isn't so cut and dried in the real world with real people. Theory vs practice, etc.

Meanwhile, I don't have a suitable Taylor gif at the moment...

[Beth Macbain]

3 minutes ago, Seicher Rae said:

Meanwhile, I don't have a suitable Taylor gif at the moment...

[Sylvia Tamalyn]

I don't understand getting bent out of shape over a laughy face. I mean, seriously. 

[Seicher Rae]

1 minute ago, Beth Macbain said:

 

[Beth Macbain]

4 minutes ago, Seicher Rae said:

So while strictly speaking I can't offend you if you don't allow it, again, it isn't so cut and dried in the real world with real people.

First, there is always a suitable Taylor Swift gif.

And you're right, of course. I get offended all the time. I'm offended when someone tells me to just get some sunshine and exercise and my depression will get better, for example. So I get stabby, my blood pressure goes through the roof, and I want to throttle someone... and then I have to walk away and think about the reasons why I'm offended. It's generally something to do with republicans and... well, frankly, I'm a better human being than they are so I win. 

[Sukubia Scarmon]

@Seicher Rae Those are some good points, I'll need to think about those for a while!

@FairreLilette No. Personally, I'd prefer everyone to stay. Also, the going offline isn't meant as some sort of fleeing and giving other people a victory, but more about selfcare and self protection. But as Seicher pointed out, that might not be as easy for everyone.

[Seicher Rae]

2 minutes ago, Beth Macbain said:

In my own warped little world, I think you and I (and anyone else) should just have a conversation in Taylor gis or jpgs or videos.

Which makes me flash back to something in the "olden days" of the Forum (I really should be sitting in a rocking chair on the front porch for this, shaking my cane at kids to get off my lawn). I don't recall who started it, but there was a comment/story/reply written in all lines of emojis. And you could follow it along. Well one thing led to another, several people added on, and it was general hilarity. I don't really pine for the good old days (because they weren't) but there WERE some gems.

[MoiraKathleen]

18 minutes ago, FairreLilette said:

And, as far as power, there is no on/off button for the REACTIONS...that would be a good power to give each individual, imo.

While not everything you're asking for, you do have the ability to turn off notifications for when someone reacts to your post.  Under your account go to "Account Settings" and then "Notification Settings" , scroll down, and then turn off notifications for "Someone gives reputation to something I posted".   

 

[Beth Macbain]

1 minute ago, Seicher Rae said:

In my own warped little world, I think you and I (and anyone else) should just have a conversation in Taylor gis or jpgs or videos.

I can do that... and probably an entire conversation using only TS lyrics, too.

[Tari Landar]

Just gonna take a moment here to thank all the little people while I accept (and of course purchase) my crown as troll queen

 

because....

this whole eff'n thread is hilarious to me, and I have laughed at at least 95% of the posts....whether you were trying to be funny or not...so...I suggest grabbin some pillows and cream for all that butthurt my trolling laughs  bring, it's probably gonna be painful. 

 

 

Then again, I read damn near every thread, I have an amazing memory....and hypocrisy cracks me tf up...I suspect I'm not alone, in the laughing of course

Please, carry on...this is some of the best entertainment I've seen all day

[FairreLilette]

58 minutes ago, Beth Macbain said:

No one can offend another person. That person chooses to be offended. 

Oh, that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in my entire life.  Now, I've heard everything.  

Someone rapes Beth (not this Beth...how about a girl down the street named Beth)...let's laugh haha...we'd all have to choose to find that offensive unless we are mentally deranged.  

Edited May 5, 2020 by FairreLilette

[Sylvia Tamalyn]

3 minutes ago, FairreLilette said:

Oh, that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in my entire life.  Now, I've heard everything.  

Someone rapes Beth...let's laugh haha...we'd all have to choose to find that offensive unless we are mentally deranged.  

Did you seriously just say that? FFS.

[Sylvia Tamalyn]

6 minutes ago, FairreLilette said:

Oh, that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in my entire life.  Now, I've heard everything.  

Someone rapes Beth (not this Beth...how about a girl down the street named Beth)...let's laugh haha...we'd all have to choose to find that offensive unless we are mentally deranged.  

Nice edit. 

Also, shame on you. 

[FairreLilette]

Just now, Sylvia Tamalyn said:

Nice edit. 

Also, shame on you. 

Well, she's the one who said "we choose to be offended" but it still was not appropriate for me to use her name...so I made it fictitious instead. 

However, whomever is raped it's offensive...a name is not even needed.   

[Kitteh Whiskers]

I forgot what this post was about 🤭

[Sylvia Tamalyn]

Just now, FairreLilette said:

Well, she's the one who said "we choose to be offended" but it still was not appropriate for me to use her name...so I made it fictitious instead. 

However, whomever is raped it's offensive...a name is not even needed.   

You seem to use a lot of "she started it!" excuses. 

[karynmaria]

hopefully this thread will either be locked or removed soon.

[Kitteh Whiskers]

I asked for it to be removed if that helps any 🥴

[Janet Voxel]

[Beth Macbain]

1 minute ago, FairreLilette said:

Someone rapes Beth...let's laugh haha...we'd all have to choose to find that offensive unless we are mentally deranged

Yes, because rape is clearly on the same level as a smiley emoji. 

Rape is an offense. A criminal one. A very violent criminal offense. It's not something that someone can find offensive. 

And, no, you didn't make your edit before I saw it. And your explanation up there trying to make it my fault that you chose to to use my name is... no, not offensive. It's trashy. It's grotesque. And that's on you. Pedal backwards all you want, everyone here knows you were thinking of me being raped, not some fictitious person. 

On the scale of potentially offensive things, I'd say a smiley face is about a 1, and your allusion to the rape of me, some fictitious Beth, or anyone else, being in any way comparable to that smiley face is a good solid 10.