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I've got a lover LOL but I don't know what do lovers talk about!


Leeee
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Hiii

I've got a lover but I didn't plan for that lol

 

nay way what should I say when we go to dance? during dancing.. what do you say

also when we go to use some poses

I don't know what to talk about

 

 

HELP ME 

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Talk about the same stuff you talked about before you jumped on the pose balls...  You know - all that stuff you have in common, like your interests, hobbies, your favorite SL store, what viewers you use and why, your favorite Sims, games, roleplay areas, religion, furries/tinies/vampires, statistics philosophy and  your SL mother's best advice...  If you haven't talked about all that, then you have plenty to say.

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Hi thanks for sharing me your ideas

yes I got a date before in RL but I'm talking here about SL

 

yes I thought about JUST chatting during dancing but may be women don't like that

 

One of my friend told me he just describle the dance while they're dancing >>>> do you think it's a good idea?

 

 

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Ok so were you friends before? If so then what has changed except maybe being more intimate? Be yourself talk about stuff that comes to mind. And probably pay more attention to what she says or tells you not to mention try to remember things. Basically no different than rl I suppose.

Btw, don't talk about ex's and don't compare your lover to other people in your past.

 

P.S. I guess we should also recommend learning how to chat sexy/sensual to get the hard drive purring, unless your lover likes more "aggressive" talk  :matte-motes-evil: Make them feel special... but on another note watch what you say if you're unsure of what direction you want to take things. Could get messy! The you will be stuck with a scorned lover stalking you in SL and the next thing you know, you wake up in RL and there is some crazed disheveled person standing over your bed with dull scissors! Sorry couldn't help myself :)

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Randall Ahren wrote:

No, not a good idea. Describe your lover. Something like "you look so sensual when you dance, it's mesmerizing."

Yes, what Randall said. /\

 

@ Leeee, the purpose of "dancing" or other animations in SL is not the animation. 

The animation is just a visual construct that aids the imagination of the RL people behind the avatars.  It's your mind, your thoughts, and your interest in the other person that propells the "scene" forward.   Just like in RL, you must interact with the other person and develop a rapport...and that is done through words. 

You can either type your words in chat and/or IM or you can use voice, whatever works best.   But, you must communicate, or there is no relationship.   This is true of all relationship types whether friends and/or lovers...RL or SL.

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  • Lindens

Compliments can go a long way. What's special about your lover, especially something you've noticed that others likely miss? Tell them. Did they change their hair since last time you met? Their clothes? Do they have a cool attachment (oh, don't take that as innuendo) or virtual pet?

Or, in absence of another starter topic, if you notice something funny about the situation around you, observe that. People-watching (including avatars) can be pretty enlightening for opening someone up to how they feel about other things and relate to the (virtual) world they live in.

I've found it intensely rewarding to share your life goals and how you'd support your lover's hopes and dreams. It tends to be a good transition "frame" to other topics, and conversation can flow more naturally from there.

It's okay to laugh if both of you get stuck in an awkward pose/dance too. I've done that lots. As in: "WHY IS MY HEAD STUCK IN YOUR..."

And sometimes... sometimes there are no words.

 

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First, keep a notepad by your desk.  If she ever mentions having to do something tomorrow, jot it down.  If she mentions her cat, jot it down.  If she says it is raining again, jot it down.  That sort of stuff.  Then, the next time you go dancing, ask about her cat, the rain, whatever you wrote down.  Eventually this will come naturally but for now, take notes.  She will love you for it (but don't tell her you are taking notes!! Just do it on the sly)  There is an old joke: sincerity is the key; once you can fake that your in.  There is more truth in that than one would think.

Ask about her.  What's her favorite color is.  What does she think about SL families.  If she could live anywhere in the world, where would she go? Favorite books, favorite cartoons, favorite anything's.  Ask about her earliest memory.  Always ask about her.  Make some comments where you agree; me too statements. NEVER SAY ANYTHING NEGATIVE!!!!  If you are at a live music place and the singer is horrid you can say "let's go give this other place a try" but do NOT say the singer sucks, you've heard better come out of a garbage disposal, nothing like that.  Happy thoughts.

Next, the compliment.  There must be at least one a day, but not too many.  The goal here is to compliment things she has control over.  Which is good in SL because she has control over everything.  RL the whole "love your hair" is hollow because she was born with her hair.  It just happens.  This might hold over in SL, so your best bet is to be sure what you compliment is her sense of style.  "That dress looks fantastic on you."  This is good.  "ur hot" is not good.  Using whole words is a big plus but being specific about what you find attractive is the goal here.  This is the choice she made for you and you need to acknowledge that you like it. Clothes, jewelry, nails, hair style, all these things are points you can compliment her on.  But don't forget the more abstract things, too.  Her sense of humor, or just tell her you love spending time with her.  -- which brings up a good line: some day when SL is being crappy and she has had a hard day or is running late or for some reason things are just crappy, tell her that a bad day with her is still better than any day before you met.  But save that for a truly bad day, don't blow it just because you messed up a punch line or some little thing.  --

OK, moving on.  The dance floor kiss. 
But first, some general cyber etiquette.  Rule one, don't describe what is happening with the pose.  She can see that. Ignore that.  You need to describe everything else. Smells, sounds (that are not playing) temperature of the room, all these and more are fair game.  But don't over do it.  One sentence at a time. Two tops. TWO TOPS. One more the get it through, Three sentences is too much. Short. Action and environmental all rolled up in one. "/me touches your chin with his finger tips and lifts your face to his.  "I will always treasure this night," he whispers and presses his warm lips against yours.
So .. first person or third person?  Does not matter. I breath faster.  Rhonda breaths faster.  Whichever.  I go with 3rd person just because /me starts sentences in 3rd person. Pick one and stay with it.
Feeling. You only get to describe your reactions and feelings. "/me plunges her hands under your shirt making you quiver with delight." NO!!! Do not do this.  I can plunge my hand, I can tell you how my hand feels but I do not tell you how you feel.  I loath when people do this and it is a sure way to end a date with me.  Not that it matters anymore because Clover is wonderful ... but that's off topic.  Back to the cyberz
The kiss.  Lean in and kiss her.  Just do it.  If it is too fast she will tell you.  Most likely she will give a positive response like "mmmm" or simply continue with chatting like it did not happen.  The second is a brush off, just accept it and go on.  The first is good.  More kissing is in order along with other touching.  Go slow.  Caress her shoulders, sides and hips. Touch her face. Suck on her lips.  Breath hot passion on her throat as you drag your teeth over her tender skin.  Just follow the flow and don't jump for the finish line.

That all said, some of the hottest cybers in SL can be had on the dance floor.  No other poseballs needed.   But when it comes time to do the dirty, you need to find your own style. Find it together.  Don't be afraid to tell her this is your first time.  Just like RL, the innocent exploration of each other is something you should embrace and revel in because there is only one first time.  Share it with her.  Let her share herself with you.  And don't panic about trying to be perfect.

And then the next day, remember to use your notes.

 

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@ Rhonda

I wish i could give you kudos for this.   And, speaking personally, i still can stand to learn a thing or two. 

Your 2 line limit isn't bad at all.   I've been known to write rather more but, fortunately, my partner and i are on the same page where that's concerned  (we love the whole writing thing) so we enjoy that.  I agree that on a first date a mini novella could overwhelm her, or do i mean underwhelm her?  Either way, one wouldn't want to overdo it.   

One thing i'd add for the OP's benefit:

When your date begins to 'warm up' a little and is responding to you in a positive way (perhaps by touching you), you could say to her: 

"I love it when you do such & such.  It makes me feel ......" (and then describe the way it makes you feel).  By doing this, she'll know that you're enjoying yourself, too.  :matte-motes-bashful-cute-2:

 

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squashy Beeswing wrote:

Your 2 line limit isn't bad at all.   I've been known to write rather more but, fortunately, my partner and i are on the same page where that's concerned  (we love the whole writing thing) so we enjoy that.  I agree that on a first date a mini novella could overwhelm her, or do i mean underwhelm her?  Either way, one wouldn't want to overdo it.    

Which brings up the advanced topic: how to break the rules.  A well placed "damn your hot" can give a lot of impact IF you normally follow the rules about complimenting her sense of style.

But the trump card is this: In all cases, the wants of the relationship always outweigh the rules. 

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