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Not sure where I fit in on SL.


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Hello! I'm hoping for some advice,

I made this account back in 2016 and have been playing on and off every year or so since then. I've spent a lot of time making an avatar I'm pleased with, but that's just about it I'm afraid. I find it's nearly impossible to find populated places that have anything to do with my interests. I seem to stick out like a sore thumb.

Given the recent outbreak my work and studies have been on hold and I've been isolating for the past 3 weeks. I figured this of all times would be a good time to maybe try to figure this Second Life thing out. I suppose I'm simply trying to find a way to pass the time. 

I'll give a run down on myself and my experiences so far, 

I'm a 21 year old female art student mostly into dark sci-fi and horror aesthetics. I listen to industrial/ebm/goth, yadda yadda. 

Been to a lot of SL goth clubs which are always a hit or miss in terms of what they play. They're alright for the most part as it's a pretty chill environment and there isn't any secret rule I'm unaware of. 

Tried out Bloodlines but there's only so much I can handle of the tacky shirtless vampires played by 40 year old men and goofy clans that are impossible to tell apart.

I have been a roleplayer on many different platforms for about 6-7 years, so I figured browsing some fantasy/sci-fi RP sims would be worth a shot. There's really no graceful way to enter an RP sim when you don't know anyone and you're not familiar with SL roleplay etiquette. I've mustered up the courage to tell members I'm new and ask for advice, but people seem pretty irritated or uninterested in indulging me when I do so. 

Also I find there's not a lot of people my age? Whenever people talk on voice a lot of the time they're older sounding men and women (and I don't mean to sound rude at all.) 

Lastly, I feel like I have to sort through so many layers of sims that claim to be cyberpunk/goth/industrial/horror themed but everyone inside is dressed like Kim Kardashian. 

I know this all might read as very pretentious, but I suppose it's that way because I'm tired of beating around the bush. I think what I need is someone down to earth to tell me if I'm wasting my time on SL and that it really is all just horny boomers with tacky avatars. 

I'm not on SL to have weird sex. I'm not here to listen to country or have a fake baby. I'm not here to reenact the vampire diaries. 

This is supposed to be a virtual world, isn't it? You'd think I would have found my niche already. 

Help. 

 

Edited by iizu
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2 hours ago, iizu said:

 (and I don't mean to sound rude at all.)



The over 40 group in Sl is a huge majority. If you can't bare them, you'll have to be very picky in the places you go.

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You might have to look past how people look, sound, or dress and just try and get to know them. You'd be surprised, I've befriended all types of people. I guess it's moreso personality. There are people who have the same style as I and may be the same age, that I cant stand being around lol. So yeah I'd recommend just looking past all that and try talking to people, eventually you'll find people that you click with 

Edited by htownsqueend
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You have my empathy in feeling out of place, if you can't find the right community and your up to the challenge you could create that community. ..while I might not share your outlook towards others i can sympathise with your reasons for wanting to make your SL time be of benefit to you.

Often creating your own community involves a group, land(mainland or private) & theme and the financial metric..Its a journey best fully started once you round up enough like minded people to a build a plan of action.. some start a sandbox, others a club, any RP can then be tailored to your vision, you could create your own RP community..You can do it alone but its better as a team effort.

I created several communities that within two years had around 20k members and it was great for several years ..my advice is any community do not use traffic as the most important metric and even consider a private group/land to ensure only like minded people are involved, you can find many mentor groups/builder groups in the game were people would be willing to get involved to guide you in the right direction.

As for your question about age that's really only a metric LL would know most accurately. often from my experience in helping new people many are 18 and up, not at a flatline of 40 & older that many seem to believe, because its who is in there social circle not who is logged in they often base that at

On 4/11/2020 at 10:15 PM, iizu said:

This is supposed to be a virtual world, isn't it? You'd think I would have found my niche already

Your world, Your Imagination ...It really is still, just requiring more efforts for larger rewards

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Well let me just say that, as a 21 year old female Animation student myself, I know how you feel! Also been trying to find some cool Goth places that don't involve donating blood or doing anything...adult?..

Basically I've just been roaming around the Newcomer friendly destinations and having guys hit on me and offer me teleport invites to places I really, really don't want to go to... :(

Already started and ended an SL relationship, but that was a personal choice and not because he did anything wrong and I've only been on SL since 17th March this year, so I'm pretty new myself (it's crazy how quickly people start flirting with you here). I will say though that I've never tried the RP sims, mainly because I don't know much about them and am kinda too scared to go to one and have no idea what's going on! 

Anyway, if at anytime you wanted to hangout on SL and try and find some fun, alternative locations together, then feel free to hit me up. Who knows, maybe my friend whose avatar is usually 'Slenderman' might join too :P 

Edited by LRaeRose
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2 hours ago, LRaeRose said:

Already started and ended an SL relationship, but that was a personal choice and not because he did anything wrong and I've only been on SL since 17th March this year

It is always amazing how quickly things develop in SL.

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On 4/11/2020 at 8:15 PM, iizu said:

dark sci-fi

Dark, but not vampire:

  • Hangars Liquides. Huge, mostly empty cyberpunk sim. Wander around. Nothing is explained; it's French cyberpunk.
  • Oxymoron. Dark sci-fi. So dark you can't see where you're going. Good when depressed.
  • Cocoon. Japanese cyberpunk roleplay. Large, elaborate build, busy, complex roleplay, clubs. Walk around and click on the NPCs and the red "?" icons to figure it out.
  • Insilico. Cyberpunk roleplay, combat oriented.

Good luck.

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I'm a 46 year old, Old Skool SL with a classic Avatar - no mesh (yet). I've recently come back because of Lockdown. In RL I'm an artist and graphic designer and have been part of the alternative, goth, punk, ebm scene since I was at college ... even organised and ran a festival for a couple of years. You'll notice from my profile pic that I'm not your normal Gen X looking chap. I find End of Days club to be very friendly and I'm sure you've found that already? 

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Honestly, thank you all who responded!

I almost deleted this in embarrassment thinking it sounded way too mean and shallow but I'm glad I kept it up. Makes me feel a lot better knowing I'm not the only one having these issues.

I'll definitely be checking out all these recommendations once I log on.

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Let me add:

I suggest you don't overlook groups.  Don't just explore regions.  You can open your Search tab and start entering various keywords of your interests and check the results.  You will find both regions (with the little globe icon present), AND you will see groups built around that keyword. They are not a sim to go to.  But these groups often attached to the activities of some region or other.  Or they are broad discussion group on a subject.  So, find some and open the info to read about them.  Any that look interesting you can find the little "join" button and most of them will be free to join.  SO click and join.  Easy.  No one asks you a question.  No one notices you joined.  People join and leave all the time.  And you can join several groups and it's easy to leave one just by another click to "leave."  No one knows or cares that you leave one.  :)

But the magic REALLY begins when you join groups like this.  Suddenly you start getting IMs popping up that are people commenting or asking questions inside these groups or looking for role-play companions or whatever, and this is a group-wide conversation going on.  Suddenly you can follow the conversations, find things of interest in what is said or the people saying them and you can in join the discussions or ask questions and NO ONE is going to think, "Oh who's this newbie?"  Because there are so many people in these groups that no one tries to judge the names of people adding to the conversations because all are welcomed.  In this way you find the like-minded people you are seeking.  In this way you begin your SL education in a tighter vein.  FINALLY!  ..eh?

~CHEERS!  ...and welcome! 

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On 4/16/2020 at 2:55 AM, Lancewae Barrowstone said:

Let me add:

I suggest you don't overlook groups.  Don't just explore regions.  You can open your Search tab and start entering various keywords of your interests and check the results.  You will find both regions (with the little globe icon present), AND you will see groups built around that keyword. They are not a sim to go to.  But these groups often attached to the activities of some region or other.  Or they are broad discussion group on a subject.  So, find some and open the info to read about them.  Any that look interesting you can find the little "join" button and most of them will be free to join.  SO click and join.  Easy.  No one asks you a question.  No one notices you joined.  People join and leave all the time.  And you can join several groups and it's easy to leave one just by another click to "leave."  No one knows or cares that you leave one.  :)

But the magic REALLY begins when you join groups like this.  Suddenly you start getting IMs popping up that are people commenting or asking questions inside these groups or looking for role-play companions or whatever, and this is a group-wide conversation going on.  Suddenly you can follow the conversations, find things of interest in what is said or the people saying them and you can in join the discussions or ask questions and NO ONE is going to think, "Oh who's this newbie?"  Because there are so many people in these groups that no one tries to judge the names of people adding to the conversations because all are welcomed.  In this way you find the like-minded people you are seeking.  In this way you begin your SL education in a tighter vein.  FINALLY!  ..eh?

~CHEERS!  ...and welcome! 

This is really helpful - thank you! Best of luck to OP as well

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Although I can't suggest any sims for you to check out, I can show empathy. I felt the exact same way, and unfortunately the way I found my 'place' so-to-speak was to just keep sim-hopping, talking to new people and putting myself 'out there'. I'm 25 and joined SL when I was around 21. I still feel young compared to others, but the age thing doesn't bother me nowadays. Exhale is a club which caters to a lot of the younger crowd, though its definitely not a goth club. Hope you eventually find your place in the crazy place that is Second Life!

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On 4/11/2020 at 8:15 PM, iizu said:

I'm a 21 year old female art student mostly into dark sci-fi and horror aesthetics. I listen to industrial/ebm/goth, yadda yadda. 

Been to a lot of SL goth clubs which are always a hit or miss in terms of what they play. They're alright for the most part as it's a pretty chill environment and there isn't any secret rule I'm unaware of. 

 

I immediately thought of Zero. http://www.clubzeroradio.com/index.html

https://secondlife.com/destination/club-zero-industrial-ebm-goth-dance-club

 

Only go to EC (Eternal Conflict) if you have tons of time and patience lol

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  • 1 month later...
Posted (edited)
On 4/11/2020 at 8:15 PM, iizu said:

I'm a 21 year old female art student mostly into dark sci-fi and horror aesthetics. I listen to industrial/ebm/goth, yadda yadda. 

Been to a lot of SL goth clubs which are always a hit or miss in terms of what they play. 

You haven't found your niche.  A place you fit.  As an art student, why don't you try some building?   Also as an art student, I think you may crave seeing more unique avatars than perhaps the run-of-the-mill types of avatars here perhaps, as people mostly just build "a human".  Each unique but maybe not enough for an art student.   There are ways to create more involved and unique avatars but you may need to find a place that has more unique and artistic avatars so you don't feel it's just yourself.  Do you feel like you need a highly creative bunch of avatars to hang out with?  If you do, maybe someone could point you in that direction.  

As far as mostly older people, could be but people in this thread say otherwise.  

MayaSmit recommends Angels and Demons and it has younger people.  You may want to try there.

Most SL clubs are hit or miss.  I feel many play too much of the hits I've heard a bazillion of times already, so I am pretty much sick of the music too, and this is not the first time I've said this that the music in SL is stale.  

Lighting Strikes has some fun tribute band concerts you can go to that may include Goth music you may like to hear.  If not, hit up Lighting Strikes on FB and see what shows are coming up.  Lighting Strikes does a variety of music genres but you can make a request also of bands you would like to hear.  

I've been with Lighting Strikes a long time as a fan.  It's a fun show with pyrotechnics and all kinds of special effects.  

Edit:  Actually I could not find Lighting Strikes on FB although I think they are, so here is some information on Lightning Strikes.  The shows are usually an hour and a half long.  

LightNing StrikeS is a tribute band dedicated to bringing you the best live music on sl. We love to interact with the people and just have some good old fun. Music makes you feel good so come be apart of ~*LightNing StrikeS*~ and feel the heat of our passion for music.

AVI CHOICE NOMINEE 2015, 2016 and Finale 2016

OVER 350 + BANDS WE DO AND ALWAYS ADDING MORE!

Im Malia Gustafson for our large list of bands.

Good luck!  

 

Edited by FairreLilette
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On 4/11/2020 at 9:15 PM, iizu said:

Hello! I'm hoping for some advice,

I made this account back in 2016 and have been playing on and off every year or so since then. I've spent a lot of time making an avatar I'm pleased with, but that's just about it I'm afraid. I find it's nearly impossible to find populated places that have anything to do with my interests. I seem to stick out like a sore thumb.

Given the recent outbreak my work and studies have been on hold and I've been isolating for the past 3 weeks. I figured this of all times would be a good time to maybe try to figure this Second Life thing out. I suppose I'm simply trying to find a way to pass the time. 

I'll give a run down on myself and my experiences so far, 

I'm a 21 year old female art student mostly into dark sci-fi and horror aesthetics. I listen to industrial/ebm/goth, yadda yadda. 

Been to a lot of SL goth clubs which are always a hit or miss in terms of what they play. They're alright for the most part as it's a pretty chill environment and there isn't any secret rule I'm unaware of. 

Tried out Bloodlines but there's only so much I can handle of the tacky shirtless vampires played by 40 year old men and goofy clans that are impossible to tell apart.

I have been a roleplayer on many different platforms for about 6-7 years, so I figured browsing some fantasy/sci-fi RP sims would be worth a shot. There's really no graceful way to enter an RP sim when you don't know anyone and you're not familiar with SL roleplay etiquette. I've mustered up the courage to tell members I'm new and ask for advice, but people seem pretty irritated or uninterested in indulging me when I do so. 

Also I find there's not a lot of people my age? Whenever people talk on voice a lot of the time they're older sounding men and women (and I don't mean to sound rude at all.) 

Lastly, I feel like I have to sort through so many layers of sims that claim to be cyberpunk/goth/industrial/horror themed but everyone inside is dressed like Kim Kardashian. 

I know this all might read as very pretentious, but I suppose it's that way because I'm tired of beating around the bush. I think what I need is someone down to earth to tell me if I'm wasting my time on SL and that it really is all just horny boomers with tacky avatars. 

I'm not on SL to have weird sex. I'm not here to listen to country or have a fake baby. I'm not here to reenact the vampire diaries. 

This is supposed to be a virtual world, isn't it? You'd think I would have found my niche already. 

Help. 

 

Hello, I like dark stuff and since I am an alienhead I am quite into scifi too [...].

 

I just don't know how to make things work about finding a spot except for my own rental. There is so many places around to go but I never really find that special place to feel home as main spot. I am still looking!

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I know how you feel, 😅,however over the years (4plus) ive met some pretty cool people, I do find it difficult to find people around my age indeed though, (27) most are 40 plus, and often horny 😄, so I tend to stick to my house for the most part, once in awhile I go to a club like blackhearts or something to get out, or I work at the club.

all I can say is, be patient and chin up, they exist ❤️ if anything you can talk to me. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I feel you...while my 'aesthetic' isn't out of the ordinary (can range from typical kinda standard fashion to 'edgy e-girl' to uwu kawaii themed) I definitely find it hard to feel as though I fit in due to my age and social anxiety. I'm 25 and find it weirdly intimidating to try to be social on SL, so I mainly lurk around and people watch on the rare chance I'm actually on throughout the couple years I've had this account.

I may not be super into the goth/vampire aesthetic myself, but I can definitely appreciate it (don't like wearing it, but love to look at it) and am a freelance digital artist! So if you ever (or anyone else wants to) talk, let me know! ♥

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