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Dating someone who hides their alts.

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10 hours ago, Pixie Kobichenko said:

Every time I’ve had a partnered relationship the guy had a “secret” alt.  For whatever reason the alt would contact me (different circumstances in each situation) & wouldn’t reveal themselves even after I suspected & asked.  A few times they were exposed by someone they were dating on the side which is a favor when that happens imho.  Other times things were slipped by the alt & it would pretty much enrage me.  I can handle just about anything, but I won’t tolerate being lied to.

people often use alts to try and test others truthfulness or loyalty. people often tell other strangers things they would not tell the person they are dating because they are afraid that person might freak out on them and leave them. such as how serious they really take the relationship or if they have been playing around in the playground even while with that person. its a trust and security issue that other type of person has.

they use the alt to spy to see if the person they are with is really worth the emotional and time investment. usually its because they have been burned before in the past.

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56 minutes ago, Drakonadrgora Darkfold said:

people often use alts to try and test others truthfulness or loyalty. people often tell other strangers things they would not tell the person they are dating because they are afraid that person might freak out on them and leave them. such as how serious they really take the relationship or if they have been playing around in the playground even while with that person. its a trust and security issue that other type of person has.

they use the alt to spy to see if the person they are with is really worth the emotional and time investment. usually its because they have been burned before in the past.

I’m sure that applies in some situations, yes. 

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On 6/23/2020 at 4:25 PM, Drakonadrgora Darkfold said:

sorry but your wrong about this.. you are not dating the person behind the screen you are dating their avatar.  its not cheating or being disrespectful either.

 

That's only true as long as the person you're dating is of the same opinion.

But SL is split, probably about 50/50, between people who live their SL life your way, and people who live their SL as an extension of RL. Problems arise when you're dating someone who lives their SL life in a different way from you.

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2 hours ago, Maitimo said:

That's only true as long as the person you're dating is of the same opinion.

But SL is split, probably about 50/50, between people who live their SL life your way, and people who live their SL as an extension of RL. Problems arise when you're dating someone who lives their SL life in a different way from you.

And i have said this before on other posts.

there will never be a perfect way for everyone. those who assume anyone is living sl their way without asking are foolish. those who assume someone has to live sl their way are equally foolish and will get hurt/mad/upset when they cross the pass of those who do not and will not. 

communication is key, if both do not properly communicate and one gets hurt well that is on them for getting too emotionally involved without learning enough beforehand.

people should never assume anything about anyone on the internet. but a lot of people do then think its ok to get mad when it didn't go their way, when really its not. its their fault for thinking the other person felt the same way because they either didn't ask, or didn't take the time to really get to know the person well enough.

if you are stupid enough to jump into any relationship with someone you met just a day/week/month ago and then get all hurt because you learned they didn't have the same feelings its your fault. they dont have to tell you upfront, its for you to do your responsibility and ask and if in question or doubt call off the relationship if they wont answer.

you have to protect yourself, its not their responsibility to protect you from them.

 

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OK I am going to redo my original comment because 3 to 4 days is more then enough time to wait for a comment to get approval so I am going to change a word out and see if it will post all right.😎

On 6/23/2020 at 12:21 PM, Drakonadrgora Darkfold said:

was married for 15 years in rl.  we grew apart and divorced with no fight about it either. we simply grew apart with our likes and dislikes and separated without blaming the other. like mature intelligent adults should do. me and my ex dated/talked for nearly two years before trying or even thinking about taking it any further or more serious. like any rational adult would do.

Ok so you got some experience under your belt. You didn't really elaborate on SL, but that's fine it doesn't matter. I mainly asked because I've just never heard somebody have the view you have who's actually been in any type of long term relationship before. It's very rare to hear that if at all. So when you say to me there are a lot of long term couples on her who have and share the same views I'd certainly like to meet those people because I am willing to bet most of them if not all established what those limits where in the very beginning of their relationships. Because as I said before most couples that I personally know who have been together in their relationships for as long as I have or longer who do things together both in and out side of SL absolutely DO NOT tolerate that type of nonsense when it comes to the topic of alts.😎

On 6/23/2020 at 12:21 PM, Drakonadrgora Darkfold said:

incorrect yet again, you presume you can judge a person or that they have to care how you wish to judge them. they dont..

Your incorrect in the assumption that I am judging you. I can assure you that I am not. I am forming an opinion based off of your own words. Nothing more. Nothing less. Is it more then obvious you don't care. Crystal clear even. I wouldn't make the mistake of thinking you do. lol😎

On 6/23/2020 at 12:21 PM, Drakonadrgora Darkfold said:

im not some insecure emotional needy or unstable individual. I set realistic expectations about my interaction with others, unlike a lot of people who come here and dont and then get hurt over it. their own fault for doing so.

Must be nice not to have any of those issues some people have on here, but it's really not about those issues. It's about being a decent human being and doing what is right. I am sorry you do not get that. 😎

On 6/23/2020 at 12:21 PM, Drakonadrgora Darkfold said:

blame the victim.. yes if they were foolish enough to make the mistake or let someone take advantage of them. they are to blame. they dont get to pass the blame back to the other person because they didn't do their due diligence about learning about that person enough before getting emotional attached to them or foolishly trusting blindly..

it is foolish to trust anyone blindly or completely ever. but some never seem to learn this.. because they are still stuck in the childhood and have not grown up.

never assume that just because you have talked to a person for a week, a month or even a year you can trust them or know them enough to emotionally invest in them beyond simple friendship. that is why most rl and sl relationships fail when people do this. they then want to blame the other person and not accept their own blame for doing this.

Using your own logic and sticking with it that's the same as saying it's a rope victims fault she got roped because she should have known better then to catch feelings for a guy and go on the date in the first place. That is complete and utter BS. Because make no mistake that is what it is. A complete and total mind rope when someone gets their head played with to such a degree on here and mental damage can be just as traumatic as physical damage. So keep thinking it's all right if you want to. Hopefully you will never be in that situation in order to know what it feels like.😎

Anyway this was my original post I was waiting on approval most of the week on and just got tired of waiting. I think honestly regardless of how someone looks at it if they engage in any type of relationship on here then as long as they are totally honest about how they run their SL then all of the above can be avoided. That's just my opinion though. I mean for example someone in a relationship with someone of my view point that is up front about it would know before hand if they wanted to pursue a relationship any further past the friend stage and someone with @Drakonadrgora Darkfold's view point she is totally honest about would in turn also know whether or not if they wished to pursue a relationship past the friend stage. In that scenario I would agree a person has only their self to blame if they know that going in. When it comes to the people who lie and manipulate and take advantage of people on here that is totally on them. They are the only ones to blame for their actions. That can happen to any of us. That's how I see it anyway. 😉😎

In short don't be a big bag of dips in your relationships people. lol Take care and stay safe all. lol😁😎

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4 minutes ago, Velk Kerang said:

Ok so you got some experience under your belt. You didn't really elaborate on SL, but that's fine it doesn't matter. I mainly asked because I've just never heard somebody have the view you have who's actually been in any type of long term relationship before. It's very rare to hear that if at all. So when you say to me there are a lot of long term couples on her who have and share the same views I'd certainly like to meet those people because I am willing to bet most of them if not all established what those limits where in the very beginning of their relationships. Because as I said before most couples that I personally know who have been together in their relationships for as long as I have or longer who do things together both in and out side of SL absolutely DO NOT tolerate that type of nonsense when it comes to the topic of alts.😎

Your incorrect in the assumption that I am judging you. I can assure you that I am not. I am forming an opinion based off of your own words. Nothing more. Nothing less. Is it more then obvious you don't care. Crystal clear even. I wouldn't make the mistake of thinking you do. lol😎

Must be nice not to have any of those issues some people have on here, but it's really not about those issues. It's about being a decent human being and doing what is right. I am sorry you do not get that. 😎

Using your own logic and sticking with it that's the same as saying it's a rope victims fault she got roped because she should have known better then to catch feelings for a guy and go on the date in the first place. That is complete and utter BS. Because make no mistake that is what it is. A complete and total mind rope when someone gets their head played with to such a degree on here and mental damage can be just as traumatic as physical damage. So keep thinking it's all right if you want to. Hopefully you will never be in that situation in order to know what it feels like.😎

Anyway this was my original post I was waiting on approval most of the week on and just got tired of waiting. I think honestly regardless of how someone looks at it if they engage in any type of relationship on here then as long as they are totally honest about how they run their SL then all of the above can be avoided. That's just my opinion though. I mean for example someone in a relationship with someone of my view point that is up front about it would know before hand if they wanted to pursue a relationship any further past the friend stage and someone with @Drakonadrgora Darkfold's view point she is totally honest about would in turn also know whether or not if they wished to pursue a relationship past the friend stage. In that scenario I would agree a person has only their self to blame if they know that going in. When it comes to the people who lie and manipulate and take advantage of people on here that is totally on them. They are the only ones to blame for their actions. That can happen to any of us. That's how I see it anyway. 😉😎

In short don't be a big bag of dips in your relationships people. lol Take care and stay safe all. lol😁😎

Then you have not met a lot of people in sl. for there are a lot who have had long term relations that never went out of sl and both have alts and neither cares about it. because they are not insecure and dont think they need to try and control the other person in what they do because of their morals or insecurities.

an opinion is a form of judgement no matter how you try to word it. you cant play semantics with me it doesn't work. and no I really dont care what you think of me because you dont really know me. so why should I care. I dont have to just because you think i should. its not for you or anyone to tell me how to think or feel or how I should care. No one gets to make those kinds of decisions for me.

the only people who have those issues are those that have been burned and are still foolishly hopeful for that perfect(fantasy) relationship to happen to them. those who refuse to grow up and open their eyes  that its not going to happen. 

it is her fault for being foolish and not taking the time to learn first. You dont get to pass the blame because you didn't do your research.

Ive been in that situations a number of times. which is why i learned from it. it was my fault for trusting them openly or completely or foolishly.  never ever trust anyone freely or openly or completely or totally ever on the internet. You will get played and hurt. never trust anyone like that in rl life.. You will get played and hurt. You have to be smart and protect yourself. its not for them to be honest and protect you from them.

I went through the trauma and abuse and the pains.. nearly died over it. but I learned. I grew.. I changed. Now I dont let that game get played with me anymore. I learn first. I communicate. I dont just let my emotions control me. I dont jump the gun. I dont get infatuated like others do. I dont do puppy love anymore. I learned from the mistakes of doing so. I communicate and if I have any doubts or concerns and ask them and they refuse to tell me I end the relationship with out any further thoughts and no pains from doing so. im an adult not some child letting their emotions control them. then trying to call foul or pass the blame back to the other person when it was my fault my accountability.. my responsibility.. not theirs.

actually the person to blame is the idiot who believed them.. who let themselves be played. get burned. get hurt. get overly emotionally attached..

which by your posts and responses you have and you are not taking your responsibility for it and still wanting to put all the blame on the other person.. when you are to blame as well.. you assumed when you should not have. you trusted when you should not have. you expected them to be or think or feel or act like you, when you should not have. do not ever do that here or anywhere on the internet or in rl ever.. if you do, then yes you are at fault.

and all your little sunglasses after your responses do not make you any better or more correct.. those are the marks of an egotist.

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, Drakonadrgora Darkfold said:

Then you have not met a lot of people in sl. for there are a lot who have had long term relations that never went out of sl and both have alts and neither cares about it. because they are not insecure and dont think they need to try and control the other person in what they do because of their morals or insecurities.

Actually I have. Several in fact and the reason they don't care is because their partner is up front and honest with them so there really is no need for insecurities. You have control confused with communication I believe. The only time the issue of control comes up I've found is when one of the people in the relationship is doing something they have no business doing in the first place. lol Then it's the age old your trying to control me tune. lol That's when most people follow it up with singing this tune. lol😎

"To the left, to the left.
Everything you own in the rezz box to the left." lol😁

 

 

1 hour ago, Drakonadrgora Darkfold said:

an opinion is a form of judgement no matter how you try to word it. you cant play semantics with me it doesn't work. and no I really dont care what you think of me because you dont really know me. so why should I care. I dont have to just because you think i should. its not for you or anyone to tell me how to think or feel or how I should care. No one gets to make those kinds of decisions for me.

It's not semantics it really is not. lol If I eat pizza and my opinion of the pizza is it tastes good then I am not judging the pizza. It's not a competition. lol It's my opinion. Nothing more and nothing less. You can't make it out to be any more then it is merely because you wish it to be so. lol As for anyone telling you anything. Wrong again. No one is telling you anything. I can still have an opinion about your point of view being jacked up though. You can't tell me how to think, feel, or what to care about that either. You can't make decisions for me either. lol Then again I am not accusing you of doing so either. lol So when you come on here telling people they are to blame because someone else is a complete douche then ya expect to be called out on it. lol 😎

1 hour ago, Drakonadrgora Darkfold said:

the only people who have those issues are those that have been burned and are still foolishly hopeful for that perfect(fantasy) relationship to happen to them. those who refuse to grow up and open their eyes  that its not going to happen. 

it is her fault for being foolish and not taking the time to learn first. You dont get to pass the blame because you didn't do your research.

Ive been in that situations a number of times. which is why i learned from it. it was my fault for trusting them openly or completely or foolishly.  never ever trust anyone freely or openly or completely or totally ever on the internet. You will get played and hurt. never trust anyone like that in rl life.. You will get played and hurt. You have to be smart and protect yourself. its not for them to be honest and protect you from them.

I went through the trauma and abuse and the pains.. nearly died over it. but I learned. I grew.. I changed. Now I dont let that game get played with me anymore. I learn first. I communicate. I dont just let my emotions control me. I dont jump the gun. I dont get infatuated like others do. I dont do puppy love anymore. I learned from the mistakes of doing so. I communicate and if I have any doubts or concerns and ask them and they refuse to tell me I end the relationship with out any further thoughts and no pains from doing so. im an adult not some child letting their emotions control them. then trying to call foul or pass the blame back to the other person when it was my fault my accountability.. my responsibility.. not theirs.

actually the person to blame is the idiot who believed them.. who let themselves be played. get burned. get hurt. get overly emotionally attached..

which by your posts and responses you have and you are not taking your responsibility for it and still wanting to put all the blame on the other person.. when you are to blame as well.. you assumed when you should not have. you trusted when you should not have. you expected them to be or think or feel or act like you, when you should not have. do not ever do that here or anywhere on the internet or in rl ever.. if you do, then yes you are at fault.

and all your little sunglasses after your responses do not make you any better or more correct.. those are the marks of an egotist.

No I am not taking responsibility for someone else's actions if they make a total horses behind out of themselves. Your right I am not. I never will either. I will take responsibility for my own actions in how I deal with said horses behind though. I will absolutely take responsibility in that. I kick it to the curb and keep it moving. That's about as much stress as I allow it to have over me. lol Ain't nothing foolish about trusting someone or having hope either. You don't get to tell people they are stupid because they choose to do so. You don't have that right.😎

You want call me an egotist because I speak the reality of the truth then so be it. I wear that tag loudly and proudly. For the record though they aren't sunglasses. They are shades. lol😎

 

Edited by Velk Kerang
Corrections.

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Posted (edited)

just because you met those few doesn't mean you have met many. for there are a lot of people who do not think the same as you and never will.. of course you will say they are wrong for doing so.

an opinion is a form of a judgement on something even if you refuse to accept the truth of the matter. of course you will again say its not true.

think what ever you want it doesn't make you any more correct or me any less correct. but knowing you, you will try and say it does.

there are some facts of life that most people refuse to ever learn.. not my fault if you are one of them.. and not really worth my time anymore to talk about it. nipc confirmed

continue living in your fantasy world and getting hurt every time someone plays you. you actually do deserve it at this point. be foolish.. act foolish.. think foolish.. get taken advantage of. plain and simple.

no one owes anyone anything here or in rl.. no one is entitled to anything here or in rl. not ever. but of course you will say they are.

refuse to accept your part in the blame then you deserve everything that happens to you. but of course you will say you dont have too, its the other persons fault entirely.

call them what you want they are still just sunglasses..again playing semantics will get you no where with me.

and using them and lol at the end of every reply is the mark of an egotist. of course you will say its not.

you are pretty easy to read ya know..nothing special about you at all. of course you will claim the opposite.

have fun in your deluded fantasy world.

Edited by Drakonadrgora Darkfold

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17 minutes ago, Drakonadrgora Darkfold said:

just because you met those few doesn't mean you have met many. for there are a lot of people who do not think the same as you and never will.. of course you will say they are wrong for doing so.

an opinion is a form of a judgement on something even if you refuse to accept the truth of the matter. of course you will again say its not true.

think what ever you want it doesn't make you any more correct or me any less correct. but knowing you, you will try and say it does.

there are some facts of life that most people refuse to ever learn.. not my fault if you are one of them.. and not really worth my time anymore to talk about it. nipc confirmed

continue living in your fantasy world and getting hurt every time someone plays you. you actually do deserve it at this point. be foolish.. act foolish.. think foolish.. get taken advantage of. plain and simple.

no one owes anyone anything here or in rl.. no one is entitled to anything here or in rl. not ever. but of course you will say they are.

refuse to accept your part in the blame then you deserve everything that happens to you. but of course you will say you dont have too, its the other persons fault entirely.

call them what you want they are still just sunglasses..again playing semantics will get you no where with me.

and using them and lol at the end of every reply is the mark of an egotist. of course you will say its not.

you are pretty easy to read ya know..nothing special about you at all. of course you will claim the opposite.

have fun in your deluded fantasy world.

Of course I am easy to read. I am an open book. I don't hide like some cockroaches on here. I am actually not even going to rebuttal this any further because it really is pointless at this stage. We're just running laps. lol May as well just agree to disagree at this point. lol There is those of us who live in reality and those of you who live in the deluded fantasy world as you put it thinking anyone in their right minds who are and have been in a serous long term relationship on here would even tolerate or put up with that bit of nonsense your promoting. lol So I am going to end off my part of the conversation and debate with a little video for you to remember me by. Lmao!!!!🤣😂😁😎

 

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Everyone here has raised some very good points.  At the risk of offending anyone, let's put differences aside and focus on what we can agree on.  Please hear me out:

1.  Have a good understanding of what your expectations are of both yourself and of others, and share them.

2.  Communication is key.  Clear, honest, candid, kind.  

3.  Have compassion.  Treat others how we'd want to be treated ourselves.

4.  We have the right to set boundaries, to set our own limits.  No one else has the privilege to set those for us without our permission.

5.  We have the right to privacy.  In Real Life, we can screen our calls, shut the curtains, pull the blinds, and ignore the door - if we're hiding out at home.  Once we step out the door, we run the risk of recognition, sometimes when we are just unprepared for such interactions.  An alt can be the hat and sunglasses we pull on to get through our day.

6.  An alt is an expression of an aspect of my psyche.  I may have one who is devoted to her Master, another who is a free spirit, another who is still searching for someone to adore, and another who is happy being on her own.  They each represent a part of me that needs to be expressed at different times.

7.  Having alts carries a responsibility that should not be abused by attempting to deceive, trick, or entrap others.  

8.  Acceptance.  Not everyone uses this virtual platform for the same reasons or in the same way.  Walk away from those who are incompatible with you, rather than imposing your values on them or engaging in pointless conflict.  SL is my escape from what right now is a crappy situation, so I'm going to have fun and do happy things.  🌼  But I have no intention of hurting anyone in the process.

Those are the guidelines I try to follow, at least, those that I can think of.

One last point I'd like to make is that a person's intentions and motivations for creating and using alts matters.  I don't have alts to check on other people.  If someone has such trust issues that they feel the need to do that, then they have a bigger problem they need to address before venturing into dating in SL.

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On 4/6/2020 at 4:50 AM, Alwin Alcott said:

in general i'd say .. everyone has a alt, even the ones in denial.
The harder they try to hide the sooner you'll find them .. same locations, same style, same avatar shop, same head shop, same clothes, same dances, log off when you come, and fast relog on the bf avi... and so on
 

 

At least I can say I don't. It's hard enough maintaining myself...I wouldn't want to maintain another!!! But we all have at least 1 alt...our RL  vs SL selves!!!

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I think you need to be careful who you are dating or partnering in SL.  Don’t rush in where angels fear to tread.  Communication is important  to me but so is honesty too.  Some honesty in SL.  

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2 hours ago, ballparkdogg said:

I think you need to be careful who you are dating or partnering in SL.  Don’t rush in where angels fear to tread.  Communication is important  to me but so is honesty too.  Some honesty in SL.  

Only one major issue, people dont have to be honest if they dont want too. after all its all just virtual right.. its not real right.. no one can get hurt right.. its all just fake right.. its all just a game right....

even with communicating with someone for weeks or months they still might be lieing to you about everything they ever said and there is no real way to know.

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On 4/6/2020 at 3:50 AM, Alwin Alcott said:

in general i'd say .. everyone has a alt, even the ones in denial.
The harder they try to hide the sooner you'll find them .. same locations, same style, same avatar shop, same head shop, same clothes, same dances, log off when you come, and fast relog on the bf avi... and so on
 

 

unless they have more than one computer aka a desktop and laptop and can have both logged in on separate devices setting near each other so they can respond on either as needed.

and not all are dumb enough to go to the same place with their alt, or be in the same groups or use the same stores for their alt. some are actually smart enough not to do any of that at all.

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59 minutes ago, Drakonadrgora Darkfold said:

unless they have more than one computer aka a desktop and laptop and can have both logged in on separate devices setting near each other so they can respond on either as needed.

and not all are dumb enough to go to the same place with their alt, or be in the same groups or use the same stores for their alt. some are actually smart enough not to do any of that at all.

Of course they don’t have too.  Just like real life.   Don’t have to do a lot of things but if i catch you lying then you get blocked. depends on what it is though.   many other people to interact with 

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My opinion on this long running saga is to simply assume that everyone has at least one alt and they get up to all sorts of stuff with them. I don't care and I don't ask either.

If anyone is really concerned then they just need to ask "Do you have any alts" if they don't like the reply (which may vary from "Mind your own business" to "Of course") then that's their problem - not the person with the alts.

If someone assumes that another person has alts but has not asked them and wants to find out if they have alts then ask them! Don't become that crazy person.

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16 hours ago, Rowdy Rover said:

My opinion on this long running saga is to simply assume that everyone has at least one alt and they get up to all sorts of stuff with them. I don't care and I don't ask either.

If anyone is really concerned then they just need to ask "Do you have any alts" if they don't like the reply (which may vary from "Mind your own business" to "Of course") then that's their problem - not the person with the alts.

If someone assumes that another person has alts but has not asked them and wants to find out if they have alts then ask them! Don't become that crazy person.

I know it so simple.. just ask and if you cant stand the answer they give then end the relationship and move on.. its a really simple issue to deal with but so many people like to make a mountain out of molehill.

problem is too many people foolishly get to emotionally involved too quickly and then get all upset when it doesn't go their way and want to blame the other person for it instead of accepting their own fault in the matter. jumping the gun.

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51 minutes ago, Drakonadrgora Darkfold said:

I know it so simple.. just ask and if you cant stand the answer they give then end the relationship and move on.. its a really simple issue to deal with but so many people like to make a mountain out of molehill.

problem is too many people foolishly get to emotionally involved too quickly and then get all upset when it doesn't go their way and want to blame the other person for it instead of accepting their own fault in the matter. jumping the gun.

Jumping the gun..lol.  I dont want to say alot but quite a few in SL is an extension of their real life.   I do consider SL more of a fantasy, doing things I wouldn't do in RL or can’t do,  having open relationships,  using alts.  I do lay things out when I have an sl partnership so we are on the same page.

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3 minutes ago, ballparkdogg said:

Jumping the gun..lol.  I dont want to say alot but quite a few in SL is an extension of their real life.   I do consider SL more of a fantasy, doing things I wouldn't do in RL or can’t do,  having open relationships,  using alts.  I do lay things out when I have an sl partnership so we are on the same page.

yep.. jumping the gun. getting too involved too quickly without taking the time to get to know the other person on a more personal level. 

you might choose to do that but not everyone else will or hast too, but a lot of people like to think they do. that they are entitled to some special level of privilege about that person and everything about them, when its simply not true.

and when things turn out for the worse they want to put all the blame on the other person, when they are just as equally responsible and accountable and at fault. but if you try and ever say that they become all defensive and claim no they are not, that the other person should of been more upfront/honest/open/truthful, when that is simply not true.

Its not the job of that person to protect someone from them and them maybe getting hurt because of it.

 

oh I am one of those that see's sl as just an extension of rl but with a different body. but even with that I dont set false expectations about anyone here. I learned my less many years ago not to do that. not to let people play head/mind games with me and my emotions.

in fact as far as i am concerned everyone has at least one alt maybe two or three and any that say they dont are more than likely lieing about it.

I knew one person that had five alts and their main. each alt was a different character. one was a dom one a sub, one a master one a mistress and one a slave. and no one knew about it. they never had their alts anywhere near each other or in the same groups. their main funded all the alts for what ever they needed.

I knew another person that had a multitude of alts and each was a sub or slave or pet or toy or doll or robot all at various levels of being restrained/restricted form light to total isolation and they had their main that they used when ever they wanted to be totally free and talk to anyone else. None of the owners/masters/mistress ever knew about the alts at all. they used to talk about it on discord and laugh about it and how stupid their owners were for thinking they really had any control/dominance over them at all. any time things got rough, they would just say they had to leave and log in to one of the others for the rest of the day.

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If you are with someone you think are hiding alts and its an issue. Maybe thats not the person for you.  Everyone probably has a couple stuffed in the closet somewhere

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I was barely 2 months old when my first av met her partner.  He was honest about having alts, in fact he was an alt.  Their relationship was honest. I even had a long standing affair with his main while they were partnered.  Whenever I made a new alt I would inevitably seek him out and flirt with him.  The 2 that were partnered were true to each other.  The alts did what they pleased.  While they didn't wave it in the faces of the partners, they didn't try to hide it either.

When that relationship ended after 3 years together, my first av found that she just didn't feel like logging in any more.  So I took over. Many relationships later, I've now been with the same person for over a year.  We are not partnered. We do not have other relationships, but we've made no vows. We are happy just being together and we stay in the moment.  I don't want a commitment.  I'm not in love, but I care deeply for the man. He knows I have an alt army.  He trusts me. I know this is not his first av, and I trust him.

I think people get what they project.  I am honest, I get honesty.  I don't have unrealistic expectations of fidelity. Stuff happens.  I've been with players.  I've had a good time with them and didn't expect more from them than they were capable of giving.

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Its connecting with someone that you can see eye to eye with. We are not all here for the same reason and won’t always agree.  I may have dated someone with hidden multiple alts doing all kind of deviltry.  But like cypher said in the Matrix..  ignorance is bliss.   I am ok with some having a small army as long as they spend time with me when I am in world.

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I've been on SL for close to 3 years now and around the end of the first year, I made an alt. I can't even remember the reason why. I think I wanted to recapture the fun of being new again but after a couple weeks, I was bored and closed the account.

Recently I made another one. Mostly because I enjoy being able to explore and do my own thing without friends messaging me or getting butt hurt because I log on and don't say hi.

:Personally, I don't see a reason for me to have to tell anyone I have an alt. It's really none of their business. I just assume everyone has them. Having said that, I think it's low when someone is in a relationship and telling that person they only want to be with them but are going on an alt to hook up with others.

That's probably why I don't have relationships in world anymore...Lol

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9 minutes ago, CrazyPhoenix said:

:Personally, I don't see a reason for me to have to tell anyone I have an alt. It's really none of their business.

Exactly. Whatever you do in this game it's your own business.

Just like when you play any other game (fortnite or whatever) you choose whatever account you like each day and do what you want.

When i used to date in SL a lot of my dates were so nosy about my gaming, alts, business or whatever to the point of being annoying.

The fun part was most of them were married in RL so my typical answer was go have a shower and go to bed cause hubby is waiting (lets be realistic).

This is a game and you are the one paying your bills, its simple.

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On 6/29/2020 at 7:05 PM, Drakonadrgora Darkfold said:

in fact as far as i am concerned everyone has at least one alt maybe two or three and any that say they dont are more than likely lieing about it.

I knew one person that had five alts and their main. each alt was a different character. one was a dom one a sub, one a master one a mistress and one a slave. and no one knew about it. they never had their alts anywhere near each other or in the same groups. their main funded all the alts for what ever they needed.

I knew another person that had a multitude of alts and each was a sub or slave or pet or toy or doll or robot all at various levels of being restrained/restricted form light to total isolation and they had their main that they used when ever they wanted to be totally free and talk to anyone else. None of the owners/masters/mistress ever knew about the alts at all. they used to talk about it on discord and laugh about it and how stupid their owners were for thinking they really had any control/dominance over them at all. any time things got rough, they would just say they had to leave and log in to one of the others for the rest of the day.

I have only one alt that's not listed in my profile, which is the one with a credit card attached, my Sugar Mommy, used only for money laundering. The only alt I use somewhat regularly is Snugs. The rest I very rarely visit and I don't think any of them has ever said a word, except for Dave23, who had an interesting chat with a woman at "The Far Away" who was dining on a plate of octopus. (The weird things you see here!)

After a decade away from dating, Covid-19 has flushed me out of the woodwork and I'm once again seeking a relationship. All my dating is done via Maddy, who has a decade long reputation here in the forums. The entire dating experience has been uncomfortable for me, as I find myself dating more than one person at a time. I feel compelled to mention that, but so far have only hinted at it. I realize it may be hard to satisfy one's appetite with a single companion and so I'm okay with my potential companions having others besides me. That doesn't make it any easier for me to contemplate having more than one myself. I won't ever use an alt for a relationship because I am the Maddy I show here. If I'm going to invest in someone, I'm doing it with real Maddy.

Stay tuned for the eventual embarrassment this will bring me.

;-).

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