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Kori Johnson of KSLA TV in Shreveport Louisiana, live interviewing people buying powerball lotto tickets which has jackpotted to $700 million

Kori: So Steve, what are going to do with all that money if you win?

Steve: Weell! I'm definitely going to get a new supercharged Mustang with dual exhausts, and about five kilos of cocaine and I'll be good to go

Kori: Sooo you like cars Steve. Ok, back to you Doug in the studio




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Rules of Chocolate

1. If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.
2. Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
3. The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
4. Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.
5. If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
6. If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?
7. Money talks. Chocolate sings.
8. Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.
9. Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? A. Because no one wants to quit.
10. Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
11. A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?
12. If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?


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   Good morning everyone. Here's a good one to make you smile at the start of a new day 😁...


   Several men are in the locker room of the local golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello" WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. I can hardly hear you.........are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes"

WOMAN: "I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat." It's only £1,000." "Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure......go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2021 models." "I saw one I really liked"

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "£120,000"

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing." "That house we wanted to buy last year is back on the market." "They're asking £950,000 now"

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of £900,000." "They will probably take it." "If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand." "It's really a pretty good price."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!"

MAN: "Bye! I love you, too honey."

   Then the man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape. He smiles and asks:

"Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"



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