Horus Salubrius 1,937 Posted February 17 Share Posted February 17 9 Link to post Share on other sites
Annie Nova 2,452 Posted February 17 Share Posted February 17 What's the difference between a $20 steak and a $55 steak? February 14th. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Alma Palmira 144 Posted February 18 Share Posted February 18 11 hours ago, Yuumo Ichibara said: So... back in kindergarten I needed to go to the bathroom “real bad” but the bathroom that we shared with another classroom was occupied. I fidgeted and squirmed and danced in my seat hoping, praying that whoever was using the facilities would finish before it was too late. With every ounce of effort I locked my sphincter from the advancing hoard until finally... I ***** my pants. When I was done, the cascading mudslide of poo made me sit two inches taller. But instead of accepting my preschool humiliation with honor I stealthily slumped down in my seat and pretended that nothing at all had happened. After a while the smell of my curated compost was over whelming. The kids on the back row sniffed and looked at each other. I sniffed and looked at them and then thumbed my disdain towards the quiet kid sitting next to me. After about 90 minutes the class ended and I walked home. Alone. Carrying a pants full of evidence from the scene of the crime. I had gotten away with it! Nobody was the wiser, although I doubt that the last three rows of kids would have agreed with me., or the teacher, or the custodian, or the quiet kid that never again set next to me. FYI: I discovered as I got up to leave that the bathroom was never actually occupied. The last student from the other class had forgotten to flip the hanging door knob message from red to green. I learned many lessons that day. Stop lights lie and should always be questioned. Brown corduroy, holds a surprising amount of excrement. And most of all, nobody ever believes a ***** faced liar especially when the ***** is literally rolling down his legs. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Rat Luv 1,296 Posted February 18 Share Posted February 18 8 hours ago, Alma Palmira said: Carrying a pants full of evidence from the scene of the crime. 🤣 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Garnet Psaltery 7,999 Posted February 18 Share Posted February 18 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Horus Salubrius 1,937 Posted February 19 Share Posted February 19 1 5 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Silent Mistwalker 2,195 Posted February 20 Share Posted February 20 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Horus Salubrius 1,937 Posted February 21 Share Posted February 21 2 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Silent Mistwalker 2,195 Posted February 22 Share Posted February 22 As seen on America's Funniest Videos. Mother (apparently sitting on the "throne") to 3 year old daughter: Can I have privacy please? 3 year old: Uh huh Mother: Can I have some privacy please? 3 year old: Yes, you can. (looks in hand bag hanging from shoulder then looks up at her mom) I don't have any. 🤭 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Rat Luv 1,296 Posted February 25 Share Posted February 25 Stolen off Facebook 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Horus Salubrius 1,937 Posted February 27 Share Posted February 27 https://gyazo.com/b1cfbe1750203b8e9c278931492c8e60 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Rowan Amore 8,356 Posted February 28 Share Posted February 28 In regards to another thread that, hopefully, will be gone soon. 5 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Orwar 19,208 Posted February 28 Share Posted February 28 Why did the mailman die? Because everyone dies. Link to post Share on other sites
Garnet Psaltery 7,999 Posted February 28 Share Posted February 28 Text copied from Puzzler's Logic Magazine. I have every issue on a subscription. Man sitting at restaurant table: Do you still do the all-you-can-eat breakfasts? Waitress: No, Sir, we've gone glutton-free. 1 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Silent Mistwalker 2,195 Posted March 1 Share Posted March 1 Any landing you walk away from is a good landing. On topic: 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Ceka Cianci 8,034 Posted March 2 Share Posted March 2 (edited) This is so cute.. My boys had watched this movie with Dwayne Johnson called The Fate of the Furious.. I never heard of it so I didn't know what it was tied to.. But they called me into the room to show me this part.. Mom!! Mom!! C'mere, you have to see this!! This is what they showed me.. hehehe It was more or less, this is what would happen if dad coached soccer.. hehehe Edited March 2 by Ceka Cianci 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ardy Lay 777 Posted March 3 Share Posted March 3 3 hours ago, Chroma Starlight said: Raining cloud 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ceka Cianci 8,034 Posted March 4 Share Posted March 4 16 hours ago, Chroma Starlight said: Following someone with really curly hair 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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