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11 hours ago, Yuumo Ichibara said:

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So... back in kindergarten I needed to go to the bathroom “real bad” but the bathroom that we shared with another classroom was occupied. I fidgeted and squirmed and danced in my seat hoping, praying that whoever was using the facilities would finish before it was too late. With every ounce of effort I locked my sphincter from the advancing hoard until finally... I ***** my pants. When I was done, the cascading mudslide of poo made me sit two inches taller. But instead of accepting my preschool humiliation with honor I stealthily slumped down in my seat and pretended that nothing at all had happened. After a while the smell of my curated compost was over whelming. The kids on the back row sniffed and looked at each other. I sniffed and looked at them and then thumbed my disdain towards the quiet kid sitting next to me. After about 90 minutes the class ended and I walked home. Alone. Carrying a pants full of evidence from the scene of the crime. I had gotten away with it! Nobody was the wiser, although I doubt that the last three rows of kids would have agreed with me., or the teacher, or the custodian, or the quiet kid that never again set next to me. 
 

FYI: I discovered as I got up to leave that the bathroom was never actually occupied. The last student from the other class had forgotten to flip the hanging door knob message from red to green. I learned many lessons that day. Stop lights lie and should always be questioned. Brown corduroy, holds a surprising amount of excrement. And most of all, nobody ever believes a ***** faced liar especially when the ***** is literally rolling down his legs. 

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As seen on America's Funniest Videos. 

Mother (apparently sitting on the "throne") to 3 year old daughter: Can I have privacy please?

3 year old: Uh huh

Mother: Can I have some privacy please?

3 year old: Yes, you can. (looks in hand bag hanging from shoulder then looks up at her mom) I don't have any.

 

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This is so cute.. My boys had watched this movie with Dwayne Johnson called  The Fate of the Furious..

I never heard of it so I didn't know what it was tied to.. But they called me into the room to show me this part..

Mom!! Mom!! C'mere, you have to see this!!

This is what they showed me.. hehehe

It was more or less, this is what would happen if dad coached soccer.. hehehe

 

Edited by Ceka Cianci
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