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The wife, being a romantic at heart, decided one day that she’d send her husband a text while she was out having coffee with a friend. She texted:

If you are sleeping, send me your dreams.
If you are laughing, send me your smile.
If you are eating, send me a bite.
If you are drinking, send me a sip.
If you are crying, send me your tears.
I love you.

The husband, being a no-nonsense sort of guy, texted back:

I’m on the toilet.
Please advise.

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Okay this is funny but I'm a n00b and I can't figure out how to put on my panties. Got a skirt, shoes, top, choker, hair - but without panties too much is revealed in certain conditions (e.g. dancing) yet every pair I've bought, even some specifically stating my avatar type, trying to put them on fails. They say they are on but nothing renders. So I'm commando underneath and have to stay away from family friendly areas until I figure out how to cover my *****...

I have to say it is quite hilarious.

Not asking for help, just trying to help with the light-hearted laughter.

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I was invited to try SL "geocaching" (kind of like RL exploring with tracking and goals) with a new friend, whose profile said they were a "geoduck" (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geoduck).  This is a "squirty" critter often used for jokes in comics about sushi. 

Anyway, I kept having problems, and my new friend said "you need to clear your cache".  After several times trying, they finally said that if I wanted more help then I needed to pay them L$.

When I contacted LL support, I was told "you need cash to clear your cache, to geocache with a geoduck".

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A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"
She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."
"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.
"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"
"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents."
He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"
"No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."
"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes."
"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"
"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."
Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"
"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me!"
 

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6 hours ago, Annie Nova said:

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"
She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."
"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.
"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"
"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents."
He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"
"No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."
"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes."
"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"
"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."
Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"
"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me!"
 

She is hilarious.  I'll take two!

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My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start.
So far today, I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate cake.
I feel better already.
 

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10 minutes ago, Dano Seale said:

We need a "Boo!...stone her!" smiley face for Lindal's jokes...Jeez!   😐

That's a little harsh, don't ya think? I'm thinking what we need is more of a groan.

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I'm especially liking Kali's Groucho Marx quotes in her signature.  That man really had a way with woids.  And eyebrows.

Edited by Lindal Kidd
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