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57 minutes ago, CaithLynnSayes said:

 

 

The silence after your kid falls over is the worst.

Because they're either absolutely fine

or filling their lungs with enough air to mimic an air raid siren.

 

 

Wish I could post a video of my male husky screaming at / mimicking a siren! (No way to link without showing personal info.)

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   An elderly widower had employed a housekeeper to take over some of the household tasks, but as he only owned one bed they had to share it. When the parish priest found out he promptly summoned the widower for a stern chat.
   - "Do you not realise that it is improper for you to share a bed with a woman to whom you are not married?" the priest asked.
   - "That's all right, I've partitioned the bed with a sturdy board." replied the widower.
   - "But what if you are overcome with lust in the night?"
   The widower pondered the question for a moment, before answering:
   - "Then I guess I'd have to remove the board."

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