Annie Nova Posted November 24, 2021 Share Posted November 24, 2021 Once a woman invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied. "Just say what you hear mommy say," the woman answered. The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?" 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Nova Posted November 27, 2021 Share Posted November 27, 2021 After being married for 25 years, a wife asked her husband to describe her. He looked at her carefully, then said, 'You are A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K.' 'What does that mean?' she asked suspiciously. He said, 'Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous and Hot!' She beamed at him happily and said: 'Oh, that's so lovely! But what about I, J and K?' 'I'm Just Kidding!' (The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctors are fairly optimistic about saving his genitals). 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Nova Posted November 29, 2021 Share Posted November 29, 2021 When the wise company president learned that his employees were tanking upon no-trace vodka martinis during their lunch hours, he issued the following memo: To all employees; If you must drink during you lunch hours, please drink whiskey. It is better for our customers to know you're drunk than to think you're stupid. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddy Vortex Posted November 30, 2021 Share Posted November 30, 2021 2 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Nova Posted December 1, 2021 Share Posted December 1, 2021 Grandpa always said when one door closes, another one opens... Great man, horrible cabinet maker. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceka Cianci Posted December 5, 2021 Share Posted December 5, 2021 This was so funny.. He really makes me laugh so hard.. hehehe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceka Cianci Posted December 5, 2021 Share Posted December 5, 2021 hehehe this was good. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BjorJlen Posted December 5, 2021 Share Posted December 5, 2021 Hohoho... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rat Luv Posted December 7, 2021 Share Posted December 7, 2021 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceka Cianci Posted December 8, 2021 Share Posted December 8, 2021 I really like this guy.. He has a funny clean style that I like, plus I'm able to watch him over again like I could a good movie.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Nova Posted December 8, 2021 Share Posted December 8, 2021 I stopped at a fast-food restaurant recently. I was fascinated by a sign which offered Fat-Free French Fries. I decided to give them a try. I was dismayed when the clerk pulled a basket of fries from the fryer, which was dripping with fat. He filled a bag with these fries and put them in my order. "Just a minute!" I said. "Those aren't fat-free." "Yes, they are. We only charge for the potatoes . . . the fat is free! 1 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orwar Posted December 8, 2021 Share Posted December 8, 2021 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleMe Jewell Posted December 9, 2021 Share Posted December 9, 2021 This is why it is very important to think about the location of the door handle when you are designing car/van wrappers 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roseelvira Posted December 10, 2021 Share Posted December 10, 2021 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mollymews Posted December 13, 2021 Share Posted December 13, 2021 husband: *heating up the last two slices of pizza wife: aww is one of these for me ? husband: wife: husband: wife: husband: yes 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madelaine McMasters Posted December 14, 2021 Share Posted December 14, 2021 Though I abhor exercise, it's becoming apparent in this second year of Covid that I need it. I bought an Apple watch last year as incentive to become more active, but I was able to resist until this morning. The watch has been charging on my nightstand for eighteen months. I put it on when I got up today, half expecting I'd need to open the band another notch to fit my wrist. Happily, that wasn't necessary. I figured out how to start the Activity app and walked down my driveway to get the mail. As I reached the mailbox, a little voice from my wrist announced "You have closed your activity ring for the day.". Now I'm sitting here at the end of my driveway wondering what the hell I'm supposed to do. 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ardy Lay Posted December 14, 2021 Share Posted December 14, 2021 1 hour ago, Madelaine McMasters said: Though I abhor exercise, it's becoming apparent in this second year of Covid that I need it. I bought an Apple watch last year as incentive to become more active, but I was able to resist until this morning. The watch has been charging on my nightstand for eighteen months. I put it on when I got up today, half expecting I'd need to open the band another notch to fit my wrist. Happily, that wasn't necessary. I figured out how to start the Activity app and walked down my driveway to get the mail. As I reached the mailbox, a little voice from my wrist announced "You have closed your activity ring for the day.". Now I'm sitting here at the end of my driveway wondering what the hell I'm supposed to do. Make an immediate left turn. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindal Kidd Posted December 15, 2021 Share Posted December 15, 2021 8 hours ago, Madelaine McMasters said: The watch has been charging on my nightstand for eighteen months. Best place for it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rowan Amore Posted December 15, 2021 Share Posted December 15, 2021 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madelaine McMasters Posted December 15, 2021 Share Posted December 15, 2021 On 12/14/2021 at 12:41 PM, Ardy Lay said: Make an immediate left turn. I tried turning left as you suggested, but still found myself far from home at the end of my driveway. I eventually had to walk all the way back to the house, vastly exceeding my exercise goal. Last night, while recuperating on the sofa, my watch commended me for reaching the day's "move goal". I can apparently do that simply by lifting popcorn to my lips with my watch hand. 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindal Kidd Posted December 15, 2021 Share Posted December 15, 2021 I guess the kids in Cupertino subscribe to the "No child left behind" philosophy. My exercise coaches tended more toward the drill sergeant approach. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marigold Devin Posted December 16, 2021 Share Posted December 16, 2021 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marigold Devin Posted December 16, 2021 Share Posted December 16, 2021 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marigold Devin Posted December 16, 2021 Share Posted December 16, 2021 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleMe Jewell Posted December 23, 2021 Share Posted December 23, 2021 I was perusing Christmas ornaments and these two made me chuckle: 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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