Is your avatar the gender you identify as?

[Izdzan Enoch]

I have a main and one alt. One of each gender, so sometimes yes my avatar aligns with my RL gender, and sometimes no it does not. I have learned a lot over the last 15 years of using SL as both genders, it has opened my eyes to just how differently each one is treated by the general population, and I think those learning experiences have helped me to become a better person overall. On a side note, of my own observations, the furry community seems to be the least judgmental while also being judged the most harshly.

[Coffee Pancake]

Is zombie a gender ? Would they have a necro master ?

[Charalyne Blackwood]

My avatar is who I'd love to be.

[Brightstar7777]

5 hours ago, Coffee Pancake said:

Is zombie a gender ? Would they have a necro master ?

Gender went from a small box with more than two crayons (as per nature) to a rainbow flag, and then these last twenty tears, the popular idea of gender developed to a continuous spectrum of light and then cascaded into multiple dimensions of identity.  Gender is an entire set of characteristics, like sliders for the default avatar appearance customization in Second Life, with everything continuously adjustable. It's not a binary, or a color, but entire set of identity keys connecting who you are to the meta of everyone like that. And so there's a pronoun for everything that might be an identity for a believable agent.

Edited August 18, 2022 by Brightstar7777

[Harper Held]

[Robin Kiyori]

Nombinary person, non binary avatar!

 

..I'm not a robot (Yet.. -grumbles-) That's the biggest difference between me and my avatar.

[Coffee Pancake]

2 hours ago, Brightstar7777 said:

Gender went from a small box with more than two crayons (as per nature) to a rainbow flag, and then these last twenty tears, the popular idea of gender developed to a continuous spectrum of light and then cascaded into multiple dimensions of identity.  Gender is an entire set of characteristics, like sliders for the default avatar appearance customization in Second Life, with everything continuously adjustable. It's not a binary, or a color, but entire set of identity keys connecting who you are to the meta of everyone like that. And so there's a pronoun for everything that might be an identity for a believable agent.

Neopronouns are awesome, everyone should have some.

[Sammy Huntsman]

Yes 

 

[Sammy Huntsman]

2 hours ago, Coffee Pancake said:

Neopronouns are awesome, everyone should have some.

What are neopronouns exactly? I mean I know the root word for neo, means new. So does that mean new pronouns or something else? 

[Coffee Pancake]

1 minute ago, Sammy Huntsman said:

What are neopronouns exactly? I mean I know the root word for neo, means new. So does that mean new pronouns or something else? 

Well, we have He/Him/His, She/Her/Hers, They/Them/Their and there are the the new uncommon (typical gender neutral / non binary) ones like xir/xe/xirs ...

https://www.hrc.org/resources/understanding-neopronouns

https://lgbtqia.fandom.com/wiki/Pronoun

https://nonbinary.miraheze.org/wiki/Nounself_pronouns

and then multiply that by tumblr and take it to the absolute gender neutral extremes and BEHOLD The Infinite Genders!

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/08/style/neopronouns-nonbinary-explainer.html

(As a nice side effect, they destroy the one transphobic "I identify as a ___" joke, by making it fine to literally identify as anything, everything.)

They are beautiful, often deeply personal and linguistically fun (the fun is a big part). How seriously they're used very much depends on the social circle and context, most non-binary people I know who do have "fun" neo-pronouns (my RL spouse included) will fall back to gendered or non-binary they/them (etc) when that's easier or more appropriate. (It's also worth, mentioning there are people who prefer no pronouns at all and substitute names in place)

Gender, like a wedding, can be as simple or complicated as you want to make it. 

The easiest way I find to think about it is the same as names. We all have our formal names, our familiar names and our personal names with ever decreasing circles of use.

Everyone should have a fun neo-pronoun, even if it's for nothing more than a secret smile. Shaping language shapes thought and changes outcomes.

 

(personally .. I'm quite attached to bun/buns/bunself... )

 

[Maitimo]

The interesting thing about a necro-post is to see how much I've changed in two and a half years, in terms of both presentation and identity.

On 3/25/2020 at 9:34 AM, Maitimo said:

Kind of?I am male in RL, I identify as male, and my avatar is, for now, basically still male.  But I present entirely femme now, on a full-time basis.  I use a female mesh head and body with a flat chest and a shape designed to make a female body look more masculine. Broader shoulders, narrower hips. Body thickness and muscles are maxed out and I still look too thin. I use a male body skin (or add-ons to make a female skin flat-chested), female or feminine male face skin, and male "you-know-whats". I wear almost exclusively feminine clothes these days, usually shorts and crop top, or short cute dresses, with high heels.  

 

Some things havent changed. I'm still using the same male skin (to which I've added an obvious mod) and the same basic shape (broad shoulders, narrow hips etc). I still identify primarily as male, and you're more likely to see me with stubble on my face rather than make-up.

But... there's two things that have changed a lot... 

It's funny actually, and interesting. I stopped using the flat chest and switched to Petite. Then in time I dropped that too, and had breasts all the time. Eventually I switched to Freya body, and the size diallers have crept up.

The interesting part is that this hasn't been a deliberate decision. It's just a kind of natural progression, instinctive and unplanned. The other intersting part is that it's happened over a span of 3 years or so; at about the same speed, in real-time, as it would have if I was undergoing RL transition, with hormones and surgery.

I'm not trans in RL, but I'm now 100% convinced that I am some kind of non-binary. I have no dysphoria and no desire to physically or even socially transition in RL. But if I could change in RL as easily as I have done here in SL, would I?

Yes, I think I probably would.

 

Edited August 19, 2022 by Maitimo

[Brightstar7777]

2 hours ago, Maitimo said:

But if I could change in RL as easily as I have done here in SL, would I?

Yes, I think I probably would.

There aren't as many barriers as people may believe. It's just asking your body to express differently, which costs about $0.50/day and time. Even big changes are approachable when taken one step at a time, where you can feel it out the whole way as the scenery and experience of life shifts. I think my biggest regret was sitting on the fence for a decade because there was no guidance, mentorship, or support around, no big sisters or aunts, not enough people giving testimonials about how they got from one place to another in life, not wanting to be made an example, but it shouldn't be so mysterious or require a divine and direct line to heaven or the reinvention of the wheel to know how to authentically live well on Earth. We should have a culture for this and it should be accessible and aware of its own life cycle and the need to constantly renew and reinvent and be the village that raises its own children. It should be the biggest and brightest beacon on all the Earth, because the Earth needs that now more than ever.

Edited August 19, 2022 by Brightstar7777

[Amelia Mitchell]

I am female in both worlds. However I have a male alt; but while I completely identify myself with my female av and hence with her gender, my male alt is around for practical purposes. Example; I am dressing with demos, or wearing unmatched stuff because before logging off the day before I was trying on clothes, or not dressed at all and I feel too lazy to pick a diff attire, put on it, etc but I want to go see a store or explore; then, my “Ken doll” comes very handy, with the added bonus that while using it to go around, I don’t get annoying IM’s from random guys telling me how pretty/sexy/hot/whatever I look, and stuff like that. On the other hand, at times I use it too, to see how a given outfit, mesh head, hair or shape would look on my partner; I put on a demo of his mesh head on my male av and it becomes a fine test dummy. My male alt feels to me like some sort of “cousin”, rather than a side of myself.

[Psyche Starling]

I have a male alt who is a satyr, which I put together as an NPC for an event I didn't end up doing (at least as of yet). The idea was that I'd run him off my smaller PC while being myself on my main one. 

I spent some time running around as him at Fantasy Faire, where he didn't stick out like a sore thumb at all, which was fun. It was a way to kind of be "off duty" occasionally since I was a Herald on my main.

[Maitimo]

16 minutes ago, Brightstar7777 said:

There aren't as many barriers as people may believe. It's just asking your body to express differently, which costs about $0.50/day and time. 

It would be hard to get my RL body to express differently without spending a ton of money and time. I'd need clothes, a wig***, daily facial care - all of these take more time and more money than I'm spending now (which is literally none). 

I mean - I could spend the money and time if I really wanted to, but there are social reasons too, which outweigh other things. I'd rather not go into detail lets just say that the benefits for me would not outweigh the difficulties.

I get all that I need in SL. 

*** if my SL hair addiction is anything to go by, I'd need at least two dozen wigs in RL...

[Brightstar7777]

6 minutes ago, Maitimo said:

It would be hard to get my RL body to express differently without spending a ton of money and time. I'd need clothes, a wig***, daily facial care - all of these take more time and more money than I'm spending now (which is literally none). 

All you should need to do is be able to believably pass as yourself. If there's still difficulty, then detach from it and surround yourself with loving people who appreciate who and what you are. There's no external standard for that, it's something you carry within.

Edited August 19, 2022 by Brightstar7777

[Spiffy Voxel]

My avatar is androgynous / femme, my meat-frame is androgynous / bio-male. As my avi doesn't really have boobs, or any discernable junk between their legs (I have some alien genitals for giggles, but only occasionally put them on), their gender isn't really relevant, and would probably elicit a shaking of the head and "oh you humans!" 😛

Now, since I do voiceovers when I'm DJ-ing or doing broadcasts for Gorean Whip Radio, my vocals are most definitely male, something I've never hidden (though initially I had palpitations about doing so, back when I had a human female avi — yes, I was the stereotypical male-pretending-to-be-female when I first joined in 2015), in fact I flag this up in my profile. I've only had a few WTF reactions from people over the years, most comments have been positive and complimentary. 🙂

These days I'm a lot more comfortable in my RL skin, so my SL avatar is much more of an artistic expression than an idealised form. I have lots of fun experimenting with custom shapes, textures, modding of clothes & attachments, etc. 🙂

[Coffee Pancake]

1 hour ago, Maitimo said:

I get all that I need in SL. 

SL is a mirror to the soul, don't make your mental health dependent on the mirror always being there.

[PermaRuthed]

On 8/18/2022 at 12:27 PM, Coffee Pancake said:

Is zombie a gender ? Would they have a necro master ?

Zombies don't care about gender as long as you got tasty brains.

[Stephanie Misfit]

I am a woman with a female avatar, but I really enjoy playing my male alt too. He is almost as old as my main and primarily used for practical purposes (photography and setting up furniture), but sometimes I just like to hang out on him too.

[Maitimo]

3 hours ago, Coffee Pancake said:

SL is a mirror to the soul, don't make your mental health dependent on the mirror always being there.

I have, let's say, a rich "inner world".  Second Life isn't my second life. It's not even third. Maybe fourth...  😁

[Lewis Luminos]

7 hours ago, Maitimo said:

But... there's two things that have changed a lot... 

 

Matti... those arrows are completely un-necessary. 😁 💖

 

[Sprout Evergarden]

No unfortunately they don't make a Tastefully desighned Spacious building Avatar.

[Kalegthepsionicist]

yep, I am afraid swiitch gender will drive me crazy😜ou are what you thinking

beware your mind, what you pretend can effect you irl

mundane

Edited August 22, 2022 by Kalegthepsionicist

[JeromFranzic]

No, not my main one. One of my alts probably! 😄 

I consider my main SL self to be a polyamorous, cisgendered female. Polytheistic, too. Any more questions? (No, David S. Pumpkins didn't put me up to this!)