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How far is to far with a Master


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  • 2 weeks later...
On 3/28/2020 at 4:40 AM, estherbyrne said:

It is about control and I put distance between us that I found my own place.

Am happy to be free to have a life again and do things I enjoy on second life 

This right here is what matters the most. That you are happy and able to enjoy your time on sl. The fact you were giving up so much to be with him was wrong on so many levels. No relationship is worth that ever. No matter if is a sub a pet a slave a doll or robot.

A relationship should be about mutual enjoyment, not one sided ever.

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From the RL BDSM scene in the 1990s, a few comments:

  • It's a head game. You're playing with the mind of your partner.
  • Being a top is hard work. To do it really well, you need the timing for stand-up comedy.
  • Being a sub is not for the fragile.
  • The scene attracts losers and the obsessed. Neither are much fun.
  • People who call themselves "Master" are usually losers.

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

I've been part of the SL BDSM scene for a long while, normally I'm just lurking and listening in on lectures as I find them,  I don't have any kind of Dominant (I attract dumbinants instead.) As my owner currently.

But, I would see wanting to know about every minuscule detail about your SL that is private to you to be a breach of contract imo.  I'd rather not enable that person and allow them to stalk me in SL which would eventually force me to leave if things went sour due to harrassment.

This is something that was talked about in a lecture recently, it was on online saftey for s-types, which what it ended with is what I agree with;  There is a chance of it going sour and you get stalked and harrassed until you leave 

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https://sites.google.com/view/drakonas-musings/about/personal-feelings-about-bdsm

I'll just leave this here for anyone else that is curious about bdsm in sl and rl. I hope any of what is on there helps anyone else that has any questions or concerns about what is right or wrong in their D/s realtionship.

Edited by Drakonadrgora Darkfold
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  • 2 months later...

It has been about 4 months and am glad I put my foot down and said no more. I have things on Second Life that I enjoy doing and he was not willing to be flexible about me going places. I got tired of the guilt trip he put on me about not wanting to spend time with him because I was running all over Second Life. That spending time doing these other things was more important to me then spending time with him.  That he sits alone all the time.  

These things make me happy and if he cared about me like he said he did he would of not had an issue with it.  It shows that he is only thinking of himself and not what is best for me. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

It's so true that a real BDSM relationship is about friendship and trust. When it oversteps those boundaries, "block" is available. And it should be used.

I'm BDSM, so I know.

Edited by Bagnu
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The funny part is now he still thinks I am his 24/7 and expects me to search through all his avatars to see if he is online. I told him a flat out NO! Am absolutely not spending my time on Second life going through a couple dozen avatars to see if he is on. 

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1 hour ago, estherbyrne said:

The funny part is now he still thinks I am his 24/7 and expects me to search through all his avatars to see if he is online. I told him a flat out NO! Am absolutely not spending my time on Second life going through a couple dozen avatars to see if he is on. 

Personally, I'd ignore him completely but then I've always had a problem with anyone telling what I can do in MY sl.  There is also an option in preferences/privacy to only receive IMs from friends and groups.

Edited by RowanMinx
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2 hours ago, estherbyrne said:

The funny part is now he still thinks I am his 24/7 and expects me to search through all his avatars to see if he is online. I told him a flat out NO! Am absolutely not spending my time on Second life going through a couple dozen avatars to see if he is on. 

From what you describe it's just another attention seeker on the internet. There are plenty of those regardless of gender. Ignore and move on.

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On 7/16/2020 at 11:27 PM, estherbyrne said:

It has been about 4 months and am glad I put my foot down and said no more.

 

On 7/28/2020 at 11:10 AM, estherbyrne said:

He has a billion avatars many of which I don't know.  Would be impossible to block them all. He would just make new ones. 

 

2 hours ago, estherbyrne said:

The funny part is now he still thinks I am his 24/7 and expects me to search through all his avatars to see if he is online. I told him a flat out NO! Am absolutely not spending my time on Second life going through a couple dozen avatars to see if he is on. 

You put your foot down more than four months ago, yet are "now" still dealing with him?

Esther, it looks to me like he's winning.

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16 hours ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

 

 

You put your foot down more than four months ago, yet are "now" still dealing with him?

Esther, it looks to me like he's winning.

I have to agree with Madeleine on this.  Just don't respond to him anymore.. just close the chat when he sends you an I'm esther. On firestorm there is an option to snooze chats. Once used you won't see any more messages from that account for the snooze duration. 

Well.. I know there is one for group ims at least.  Think it might work on personal chats too.

I have mine set on like  1800 seconds or something similar. 

Edited by Drakonadrgora Darkfold
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Another option is in your people window, create a Contact Set for him and all of his known alts (if you already have them as friends).  

Personally, I'd block him and each one of his alts.  Problem solved!

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@estherbyrne  Congrats on breaking away from an abusive wannebe "dom" dudebro who doesn't know a thing about consent.  Please go to Fetlife, create a login so you can get in, then read all the newbie stuff you can find.  Ask questions of really for real BDSM people.  Don't put real info in.  Say you are 99 years old and live in Antarctica lol.  You'll soon learn to differentiate between doms and dudebros.  These are life skills you're going to need if you're in SL, where the duebros are through the roof.  In addition to the newbie groups on Fetlife, I'd suggest "Profile Pitfalls" for examples of all the red flags to look out for.  "I AM DOMINATE!!!  I WILL DOMINANT YOU!!!  I WILL TYPE IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE I AM THE MASTER AND YOU ARE THE SLAVE!!!"

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P.S.  Charge him money to talk to you.  Every time he responds, add it to his til.  "OK, that's 563,250 Lindens you owe me.  When can I expect payment?"  Just say NOTHING but that, hee hee!

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  • 1 month later...
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