Anyone encountered really mean people on here?

[Gatogateau]

4 minutes ago, Dano Seale said:

With the amount of "afk" sex places and beaches around lately, a lot of mentally challenged guys are taking ANY "afk" typing as..."I'm shy, so I'll pretend not be here while you fk me ok?"! It's all pretty sad but if that's how he thinks then you did good to get rid of him. (You can also avoid such predicaments by buying PG furniture and not ADULT furniture.)
 

 

I have a small hunch that maybe that wasn't their legs?  😐

If you want emoji responses, and of course you do because of fame and glory and all of that, it is really hard to emoji when one reaction is 😞 and one is . I'll leave it for you to decide which is which (probably a bad idea).

[Gatogateau]

On 3/16/2020 at 2:34 AM, Axelfoxthefoxyfluff said:

I mean like toxic people who don't seem to know or care that when they are acting mean, that they are hurting real people with how they act.

I read this originally as "here" being the Forum, but of course it can be inworld, too, as most people are responding.

Simply the answer to both is yes.

Toxic people who don't care that they are acting mean? Absolutely. I'm not a psychiatrist, nor do I play one here or inworld, but if I had to guess I've run across a couple of malignant narcissists (a real term, to differentiate between the garden variety narcissist and the really sickos). I've run into two people I'm pretty sure were psychopaths, and one of those I met in RL (before I realized the psychopathy), and that was pretty scary.

And some "oldbies" claim that it is worse now than it was back in the day, but the really bad ones I met were back then with one exception. I think it is just luck of the draw.

I'm more likely to encounter basic rudeness inworld, not so much in the Forum. Luckily, even that is pretty rare. I do think it depends upon what you are doing and where you are doing it, just like in RL, some places attract more jerks in SL than others.  I've rarely had to block anyone, and most of those came from the Forum, not inworld.

Most of the folks I meet are really nice, even the casual one-off conversations. I love meeting people from all over the world. I semi-joke that I'm a misanthrope, but there are a few people, most of them inworld, who can make me gush, "I love you guys!!!" in my head, and sometimes out loud, and they make me want to hug people and sing "everything is beautiful."

 

Edited May 27, 2020 by Gatogateau

[LittleMe Jewell]

1 hour ago, Marigold Devin said:

On 3/20/2020 at 4:44 PM, Soft Linden said:

The initial question here was really smart. Many people don't understand that some people are oblivious to how they act. Or they don't understand the ways that others are likely to perceive their actions. Combine someone who's oblivious to how they are perceived with somebody who's certain every slight is deliberate? That's where the really dramatic clashes begin.

And when the really dramatic clashes begin, we see where the lack of moderation is. Should we be encouraging someone to flame against others? Are we in fact feeding another's N.P.D. by doing so?  What damage to the mental wellbeing is actually being done when mods leave people to their own devices? How bad will Linden Lab look like as a company WHEN someone is driven to suicide because "... words can never harm us"?  

These questions, and more, will (probably) never be answered. 

Wow, really ?!?!?!?!

I don't think we can complain about a lack of moderation around here.  Just last week we went through a slew of threads getting locked or deleted and multiple people with short-term suspensions.

And are you really going to try and blame someone's suicide on LL's moderation?   Suicide is an extremely complex thing and while there might be a final straw, it seldom ever comes down to only a single actual cause.

[Marigold Devin]

2 minutes ago, LittleMe Jewell said:

Wow, really ?!?!?!?!

I don't think we can complain about a lack of moderation around here.  Just last week we went through a slew of threads getting locked or deleted and multiple people with short-term suspensions.

And are you really going to try and blame someone's suicide on LL's moderation?   Suicide is an extremely complex thing and while there might be a final straw, it seldom ever comes down to only a single actual cause.

WOW. Yes, really. It only has to be the catalyst, not even the actual cause.

But ... as ever ... it is only MY opinion. Just MY opinion. Not the word of the law, or even the majority opinion. Just. My. Opinion. 

Edited to add:

Mods dragged their heels when dealing with that slew of threads. In. My. Opinion. 

Edited May 27, 2020 by Marigold Devin
To be perfectly clear that this is only my opinion.

[Caroline Takeda]

On 3/16/2020 at 8:47 AM, bigmoe Whitfield said:

 but there are people with cultural differences

Cultural differences are mean in your books?

Not in mine!

[Gatogateau]

6 minutes ago, carolinestravels said:

Cultural differences are mean in your books?

Not in mine!

Yeah, I read that too and looked at it sideways. The way I took it was more "rude" than "mean." We've had scores of threads on this Forum about how some cultures view things as normal while others from different cultures see it as weird or rude. One of the biggest threads that contained that was about how people inworld just IM "hi" and leave it at that. Many people hate that. It bugs the living daylights out of them. Others said, "That's just my culture. Where I come from if you don't say "hi" you're being rude."

Meanness on the other hand, probably looks very similar culture to culture. I'm sure someone can pull out examples, but... meh.

[Luna Bliss]

1 hour ago, Marigold Devin said:

Should we be encouraging someone to flame against others? Are we in fact feeding another's N.P.D. by doing so?  What damage to the mental wellbeing is actually being done when mods leave people to their own devices?

I think it can be difficult to see when someone is being flamed unless you watch carefully, or happen to be spending a lot of time on the forum at a particular time and observing.  I wouldn't expect LL to do that....I mean to pay someone to moderate it full-time? That's a lot of money.

I do agree though, with some of your other comments I didn't quote, that it could show SL off in a bad light, that is if others were watching and detected it.  I suspect  that many forum members don't even watch though...they see a fight and scroll on by....probably they are the sane ones   

[kali Wylder]

When I look at this question in the context of the hundreds of people I've met in SL, I have to say, most people are genuine and decent.  But there is that handful of total jerk-wads. I've only met a few really awful people.  The ones that have zero empathy.  The ones that always have an ulterior motive for anything they do.  Mostly it's about perceptions of power.  They think that if they succeed in making you believe in their false face, that it gives them power over you. It doesn't really but they get off on that feeling of power.  I think it's kind of sad really.  That need for power and control  is almost always born out of deep trauma.

[Ceka Cianci]

1 hour ago, Dano Seale said:

I have a small hunch that maybe that wasn't their legs?  😐

 

I learned that one from my husband actually, just from him calling other guys hardlegs.. hehehe

Keep your eyes forward Hardleg!

 

He's got another he likes to use also..Horned dog

hehehehe

Edited May 27, 2020 by Ceka Cianci

[Luna Bliss]

9 minutes ago, kali Wylder said:

When I look at this question in the context of the hundreds of people I've met in SL, I have to say, most people are genuine and decent.  But there is that handful of total jerk-wads. I've only met a few really awful people.  The ones that have zero empathy.  The ones that always have an ulterior motive for anything they do.  Mostly it's about perceptions of power.  They think that if they succeed in making you believe in their false face, that it gives them power over you. It doesn't really but they get off on that feeling of power.  I think it's kind of sad really.  That need for power and control  is almost always born out of deep trauma.

That is so true!  And I think you've defined Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).   And yes, that need for power and control is almost always born out of deep trauma. That's why I even have sympathy for the orange man who heads our country.  *Ducks*   Narcissists try to fill a hole within themselves - they have a "false face", as you say, where they manipulate others to maintain control. They actually don't feel good about themselves at all, but instead feel like a hollow, empty shell.

Edited May 27, 2020 by Luna Bliss

[HGJHGJHJJHJG]

En la web solemos ser más como nosotros mismos que en la calle...

Haz tu vida lejos de quien no te aporta nada y verás cómo te encontrarás con quien necesitas estar.

Habrá mucha gente tóxica, pero igual esto sigue siendo un manicomio divertido.

[Pixieplumb Flanagan]

On 3/16/2020 at 4:08 PM, BelindaN said:

Not so many but yes, toxic, poisonous, sexually predatory, mysoginistic………..and that was just one...…..😝

sheesh, Belinda, I said I was sorry...

[Aethelwine]

1 hour ago, Luna Bliss said:

I think it can be difficult to see when someone is being flamed unless you watch carefully, or happen to be spending a lot of time on the forum at a particular time and observing.  I wouldn't expect LL to do that....I mean to pay someone to moderate it full-time? That's a lot of money.

I do agree though, with some of your other comments I didn't quote, that it could show SL off in a bad light, that is if others were watching and detected it.  I suspect  that many forum members don't even watch though...they see a fight and scroll on by....probably they are the sane ones   

I might be wrong but I think the threads Marigold is referring to involved doxxing real life information along with the vilest of accusations. The sort of stuff that can end up with real life consequences.

They really should have some policing of the forum and in world available 24/7 to deal with extreme cases. 

[Luna Bliss]

31 minutes ago, Aethelwine said:

I might be wrong but I think the threads Marigold is referring to involved doxxing real life information

Ahh, no, she wasn't just referring to the doxxing fool.

[CaerolleClaudel]

On 3/16/2020 at 1:41 PM, Rhonda Huntress said:

Yes.  There once was a guy here that gloated over how many women he drove away from SL

I had a RL boss once who bragged to me that he had made everyone who ever worked for him cry except one person (who was not me). He finally got fired not because he was a horrible boss in general but because he was a sexual harasser and it finally caught up with him.~

[MirandaBowers]

4 minutes ago, CaerolleClaudel said:

I had a RL boss once who bragged to me that he had made everyone who ever worked for him cry except one person 

I will never understand why some people think this is an effective way to manage others!

[CaerolleClaudel]

23 minutes ago, MirandaBowers said:

I will never understand why some people think this is an effective way to manage others!

I don't think this was his way of 'effectively managing others,' he was just arrogant and mean.

[kiramanell]

1 hour ago, CaerolleClaudel said:

I don't think this was his way of 'effectively managing others,' he was just arrogant and mean.

 

Excellent obsevation! It is often our own goodness that makes us think someone like that will have a reasonable motivation for doing so, whilst in reality

 

All you are is mean
And a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life
And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean

[Dano Seale]

Pretty sure 90% of us would be dead by now if guns were allowed on here! That answer your question?

[Talligurl]

On 3/16/2020 at 9:29 AM, Tolya Ugajin said:

First, mean is in the eye of the beholder.  Some people are just whiny cupcakes who cry over every perceived slight, real or imagined.  Perhaps there would be less "meanness" and "bullying" if people stopped being so darned fragile.

Yes Yes, i have never had any of the sorts of serious issues people talk about. Sure there have been people I had issues with, I block them and move on and forget them.

[Tolya Ugajin]

1 hour ago, Talligurl said:

Yes Yes, i have never had any of the sorts of serious issues people talk about. Sure there have been people I had issues with, I block them and move on and forget them.

Life is too short to deal with them in any other manner.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

Me. I'm mean.

Almost rabid.

Grrr . . . rrrrrr . . . rr

[CaerolleClaudel]

1 hour ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Me. I'm mean.

Almost rabid.

Grrr . . . rrrrrr . . . rr

Makes me think of something like this:

https://youtu.be/2y7584pdxqI?t=67

[Scylla Rhiadra]

41 minutes ago, CaerolleClaudel said:

Makes me think of something like this:

https://youtu.be/2y7584pdxqI?t=67

Yeah, pretty much.

Except taller.

And (thank god) less furry.

[CaerolleClaudel]

5 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

And (thank god) less furry.

That's not what you said a few weeks ago. Shaving again, are we?

🤣