MALE playing female? Is it frowned upon?

[Kitkat Starlight]

I personally don't view it as bad. if anything I think it helps those who are trans, (for an example).

 

but nah your good in my books

[Tex Monday]

I'm a bit late to the party (as always) but as a player in SL who has been here since 2008, here's my take...

WHO THE F**K CARES???

Do what you want...be happy. No one is going to know unless you tell them. My only advise (aside from what's already been said about not telling people) is as long as you act the part, the other person isn't going to know. If you're going to play a girl, just learn to act like one, talk like one, react like one. 

If you've got the hangup about it, then that's something you need to work on but for the greater SL community, no one cares. 

Edited May 29, 2020 by Tex Monday
bad language...oops

[BeautifulXu]

9 hours ago, JenniferWind said:

I personally don't view it as bad. if anything I think it helps those who are trans, (for an example).

 

but nah your good in my books

I think honesty is the best policy but if you let them know before any commitment is made, that's fair.

[rushingaround]

I am a girl in RL and have a trans woman avatar.  It works.  Have fun

[BeautifulXu]

sounds interesting . how do you look? 

[Zelena Morningstar]

Hmm.. UNLESS you are a female that creates a male avatar SOLELY for the purpose of gaining real life money or lindens from unsuspecting people via second life.

For this reason, I disagree with second life allowing voice changers, I think there should be some way to discriminate should you want to, between a RL man or woman... at least the option would be nice. I was just catfished for 3 years by a 'man' in sl that turned out to be a woman with a voice changer program. She used fake real life pictures of men to make people believe her lies, which I think should be against the TOS. I thought this woman was an out of work man, living in brazil.. and I was asked to pay for everything, including her premium account payments and to send money via paypal because coronavirus stimulus cheques didn't come in and "he" had no food money. 

I mean, there should be a point of perspective here.. yes.. its your fantasy.. and yes.. it was my naivety to believe a person online but really second life (with voice changers and no consequence for using fake real life photos) really doesn't give the possibility of a point of reference for anyone seeking honesty and friendship. .. and "your fantasy" shouldnt be allowed by LL to harm others financially.

I'm not some desperate housewife looking for a relationship online either, I am married in RL but my husband is terminally ill... so I come online to 'visit' friends etc but I am a compassionate person. 

Second life is supposed to be fun for everyone - not a hunting ground for tricksters and scam artists. When people arent held accountable for these kinds of catfishing actions, why not become scamming thieves if you are from a poor country?

I think linden labs needs to revamp some of it's TOS criteria when it comes to this sort of thing, because now I really don't even feel like making friends in SL.. because who can you trust? 

The answer for me, now, is nobody...so whats the point?

Edited August 16, 2020 by NurseSparkle
syntax and spelling

[Nick0678]

25 minutes ago, NurseSparkle said:

I think linden labs needs to revamp some of it's TOS criteria when it comes to this sort of thing, because now I really don't even feel like making friends in SL.. because who can you trust? 

That's common practice and you are not the first person who has been catfished like that.  I used to have a female SL friend from Chicago  who was dating for 4 years a man (SL club owner) who was actually a woman and also another female friend that we live close in RL who dated another SL dude and after a year she figured out that it was a woman. (In both cases money involved one way or another)

The TOS cannot change stuff like that, you are in a game and just like any other game you can choose to play it with whatever type of character you like.

Be more careful next time and use SKYPE A LOT if you think that you feel close to a person and if they start asking you for money just DON'T.

Edited August 16, 2020 by Nick0678

[Zeotetra]

I know females who plays guys and guys that play females or those who play anything!

Sure there will be people who frown upon this they can frown and turn into a prune from all that frowning. 🦨

[shiviex]

People will always frown upon something or the other, best not listen to them.

[Syo Emerald]

11 hours ago, NurseSparkle said:

I think linden labs needs to revamp some of it's TOS criteria when it comes to this sort of thing, because now I really don't even feel like making friends in SL.. because who can you trust? 

Why would the gender of a friend matter?

[Lewis Luminos]

12 hours ago, NurseSparkle said:

Hmm.. UNLESS you are a female that creates a male avatar SOLELY for the purpose of gaining real life money or lindens from unsuspecting people via second life.

For this reason, I disagree with second life allowing voice changers, I think there should be some way to discriminate should you want to, between a RL man or woman... at least the option would be nice. I was just catfished for 3 years by a 'man' in sl that turned out to be a woman with a voice changer program. She used fake real life pictures of men to make people believe her lies, which I think should be against the TOS. I thought this woman was an out of work man, living in brazil.. and I was asked to pay for everything, including her premium account payments and to send money via paypal because coronavirus stimulus cheques didn't come in and "he" had no food money. 

I mean, there should be a point of perspective here.. yes.. its your fantasy.. and yes.. it was my naivety to believe a person online but really second life (with voice changers and no consequence for using fake real life photos) really doesn't give the possibility of a point of reference for anyone seeking honesty and friendship. .. and "your fantasy" shouldnt be allowed by LL to harm others financially.

I'm not some desperate housewife looking for a relationship online either, I am married in RL but my husband is terminally ill... so I come online to 'visit' friends etc but I am a compassionate person. 

Second life is supposed to be fun for everyone - not a hunting ground for tricksters and scam artists. When people arent held accountable for these kinds of catfishing actions, why not become scamming thieves if you are from a poor country?

I think linden labs needs to revamp some of it's TOS criteria when it comes to this sort of thing, because now I really don't even feel like making friends in SL.. because who can you trust? 

The answer for me, now, is nobody...so whats the point?

I am sorry to hear that this happened to you. But the gender of a person doing this wouldn't make any difference. You're equally as likely to be scammed by a man doing the same thing. 

But in this case, this is a matter for RL police authorities to deal with. Report it, and Linden Lab will be compelled to hand over all the data they have about this person.

As far as making friends goes, you're safe doing that as long as you don't give money to them.

[Nick0678]

1 hour ago, Lewis Luminos said:

RL police authorities to deal with. Report it, and Linden Lab will be compelled to hand over all the data they have about this person.

 Police can't do anything unless they have been threatened in some way and there is proof of that.

Regarding those money, they are gifts regardless who gives them to whom and if the person was catfished or whatever, so there is no legal issue / law broken for police to act. Apart from that if the other person isn't from your Country don't expect Interpol to start looking for a person from Zimbabwe/Siberia/Kuala Lumbur or whatever. They have real criminals to worry about.

That's the way it goes and it really is simple , never give money to an online person , use your brain and understand that you don't know them.

Edited August 17, 2020 by Nick0678

[Lyssa Greymoon]

17 hours ago, NurseSparkle said:

Hmm.. UNLESS you are a female that creates a male avatar SOLELY for the purpose of gaining real life money or lindens from unsuspecting people via second life.

For this reason, I disagree with second life allowing voice changers, I think there should be some way to discriminate should you want to, between a RL man or woman... at least the option would be nice. I was just catfished for 3 years by a 'man' in sl that turned out to be a woman with a voice changer program.

How about mandatory cybersecurity training on Orientation Island? If you think someone is using voice morphing software, ask them to whisper. That makes it much easier to spot.

[Chroma Starlight]

Just now, Lyssa Greymoon said:

How about mandatory cybersecurity training on Orientation Island? If you think someone is using voice morphing software, ask them to whisper. That makes it much easier to spot.

Why do you feel a compulsion to discriminate between the cisgender and the non-cisgender? What fear lurks deep within your heart?

 

Quote

"Man’s evolution consists in the process of changing to forms that are not of this world. Grows he in time to the formless — to live on a higher plane. Know that you must become formless before you can be one with the Light." --Thoth the Atlantean

 

[Zeotetra]

Simple steps:

- Mute/block those who have an issue or harassing you
- Giving money wouldn't, some take advantage of your kindness
- Hang with folks who appreciate you

Life is tough & sl shouldn't be either

Have a good day 🖖

[TT120]

For me, as far as friends go, it does not matter one little bit your RL gender.  If you cool. you're cool and I like cool people.  That being said, I do indulge in SLex as I have found that it is a great release for me.  In RL, I am married but we have had no intimacy in MANY years, she simply has no interest in sex and so that left me and my High Libido with no relief.  SL has offered me a place to get that release in a very safe way.  I am a straight male and play my avi as such.  Men do not interest me in that way at all and knowing that beautiful girl on the dance floor is probably a guy in RL kills it for me.  So, maybe I'm being closed minded because I do not find guys sexually attractive.  It is what it is and I can't change that.

I'm a little confused why a guy would play as a girl just to have sex with another guy.  Aren't there MANY gay sims they can go to that will have what they're looking for?

[Nick0678]

2 minutes ago, TT120 said:

So, maybe I'm being closed minded because I do not find guys sexually attractive.

That simply means you are straight, has nothing to do with being close minded and such stuff.

NORMALLY a gay person will focus towards another gay person, same way that a straight person will focus on another straight person. It's so simple.

I am a straight man but I had a few gay friends and coworkers in my real life and even in some cases a few tried to flirt with me but of course that didn't work so we simply laughed. Everything is fine as long as people respect each other. When it comes to SL though respect is usually the last thing people think of.

[Lillith Hapmouche]

Perhaps visiting a dedicated dating website for doing stuff like, well, getting cheated and lied to dating, would be a fine start...

[MayaSmit]

32 minutes ago, TT120 said:

I'm a little confused why a guy would play as a girl just to have sex with another guy.  Aren't there MANY gay sims they can go to that will have what they're looking for?

Interesting discussion everyone. I've enjoyed reading people's opinions.

My view of SL is that it's an amazing virtual world where everybody has the opportunity to explore or become a version of themselves they wish to be or always been curious about. Whether that's a different gender, race, height, species, age, etc.  I think everyone can agree that's a wonderful thing! 

And equally, in order to immerse yourself in this identity/fantasy/role, you can choose how much or how little of your RL information you want to share. And that should be respected.

Lets face it, the only real issue is for the guys (and its usually guys, but not always) who are using SL as a dating service, and hoping to eventually take whatever SL relationship they're in to their first life! Because if that's not the case, it's pretty irrelevant what is behind the computer screen. Your pixels are interacting with another set of pixels, that you find attractive or interesting to engage with, and that's all that counts really. I appreciate not everyone might be as open-minded about this as me, but it's a shame if you're not, because SL is way more fun without these hang-ups! Trust me.

One thing that I think some people like TT might not fully understand, is that part of being immersed in a role/identity is how other people view you. So that's part of the appeal. Understanding how it feels in another body/shape/identity when people interact with you and view you as that. 

[Lyssa Greymoon]

1 hour ago, TT120 said:

I'm a little confused why a guy would play as a girl just to have sex with another guy.  Aren't there MANY gay sims they can go to that will have what they're looking for?

Because it's about gender expression, not tricking straight guys into having SLex with a supermodel. They aren't looking for gay sex, they're looking for a gender experience they feel comfortable with.

In SL, I think it's generally best to take the blue pill and enjoy your steak.

[Nick0678]

1 hour ago, MayaSmit said:

I appreciate not everyone might be as open-minded about this as me, but it's a shame if you're not, because SL is way more fun without these hang-ups! Trust me.

Actually it has nothing to do with being open minded or not. Some people like to mast***  watching pixels , others like to mast*** watching real bodies , others like to mast*** listening to a voice , others prefer to have real sex, others don't like to mast*** or have sex at all , others like to think they have a normal relationship, others like to think they just spend time, others like to think its purely role play etc (it never ends). When you go to a restaurant you don't see everyone eating the same food. Doesn't mean that someone who likes to eat french fries is more open minded or close minded from a person who likes to eat rice.

It's all about personal preference and every man and woman has something that triggers them and is looking for that. So the point is to find the person that has similar likes.

Edited August 17, 2020 by Nick0678

[Lancewae Barrowstone]

Wow, I just hit upon an idea -- an experiment. It goes like this. 

If you're a g guy, then create a female alt with some bland innocent "details" in profile, no phoney pix or stuff, well, unless you want to really enhance it,  and THEN have that female account roll out a male avatar.  That will be you. And run with that for a while.  Now, the experiment is not the reactions of SL.  The experiment is within you, the guy who is running layered over a female account.  How interesting is that?  Or maybe not at all.

So, what does it mean?  Mehh, nothing.  I'm bored already.  

 

 

[Talligurl]

8 hours ago, TT120 said:

I'm a little confused why a guy would play as a girl just to have sex with another guy.  Aren't there MANY gay sims they can go to that will have what they're looking for?

Lots of reasons, but they want to see a girl on screen, if they can't talk a real girl into sex as a guy, they make thier own girl. 

[elise Voxel]

I think I read somewhere that 6 in 10 women on SL were men behind the screen. Probably an outdated/inaccurate statistic, but I don't think you're alone in what you're doing.

[Caroline Takeda]

13 hours ago, Lyssa Greymoon said:

In SL, I think it's generally best to take the blue pill and enjoy your steak.

But,

if you are portraying a cat in SL I demand voice verification. I need to hear your meow first.