(Rant?) I just want a dance.

[kali Wylder]

12 hours ago, Cindy Evanier said:

 Try taking Rhonda out as a blonde for a while and test if its the hair.  I have long thought people form an initial opinion on my avi because of her blonde  hair.  

Cindy, are you saying Blondes have more fun?

[Cindy Evanier]

4 minutes ago, kali Wylder said:

Cindy, are you saying Blondes have more fun?

Hmmm it has been known on occasion 😇

[kali Wylder]

14 hours ago, Rhonda Huntress said:

So, let's start with the usual suspects.  Me, the tall redhead on the left and my alt Maybie, the short blond.

 

So here's the thing.... I can't get a dance partner when I go out alone....Which avatar would you approach if you saw them both at a club?

First of all, I'm so glad you started this conversation.  For the past year I've been only dancing with one person, but before that your dilemma was very much my own.  Wanting to dance, just dance and not being asked.  It never occurred to me that hair color might be the culprit (I'm a redhead too).  I'd finally decided to just ask people to dance instead of waiting to be asked.  Made it my new years resolution for 2019 in fact.  Who knew that one of the first people I asked would wind up being my exclusive guy? I thought maybe because within my club I'm a little on the famous side. Or maybe I talk to much in local (it's true, I'm a chatterbox). Although my av is 6'8" it's shorter than most so I didn't think that was it. Anyway my lunch break is over and I have to go to work, but I'm very interested in learning the answer.  I hope it's not 42.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

1 hour ago, Lyssa Greymoon said:

When everyone is a supermodel, no one is.

So very true.

One wonders why more people haven't worked this out. It's almost proverbial: at most clubs, about 80% or more of the avatars -- women and men -- look interchangeable. The women are all conventionally beautiful, statuesque, hypersexualized, and the men all over-built, and wearing hoodies or jackets and jeans. Those who want to stand out manage it by finding ways to individuate themselves.

I don't particularly want to draw attention to myself, but I sometimes wonder if the fact that I almost invariably wear shorter hair styles accomplishes that to some small degree: most women are wearing very long hair.

And I am totally good with dancing by myself. Even to Billy Idol.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

12 hours ago, Mollymews said:

Famous in the SL sense.

Yeah, I'm not so sure about this Molly.

Maybe once every three months or so someone in-world will IM me to tell me that they know of me through the forums. And that may be a generous estimate. Probably 95% of SL residents aren't even aware that there are SL forums, yet alone read them.

SL is kind of fascinating because, although it is structured in some ways like a social media platform (except with 'toons), it's enormously decentralized. Unlike Facebook, Twitter, or other platforms that draw your attention to "important" or popular posters and "influencers," SL provides next to no functionality in that regard: we meet whomever we meet almost invariably by accident rather than design. And so, "celebrity" isn't really much of a thing here.

You could probably make a list of the "top" celebrities, from most to least famous, that would look something like this:

Philip Linden
Torley Linden
Strawberry Linden (nee Singh)
A small group of influential fashion bloggers
A select group of live musicians
Daxtor Despres
Bryn Oh (and a very small handful of other artists)
Prokofy Neva (used to be more famous than he is now, though)
A small handful of merchant/creators
SL forumites
That guy who wears a piñata as a head at Ahern

It's a pretty small group, and even the most famous really aren't very.

Which is a shame, really: I'd always hoped I'd be wined, dined, and courted by an enormous crowd of frenzied fanbois and girls for my modest contributions here.

Instead, I just get rudely shoved aside by Tex66.Resident (who is very famous at the club he frequents) while lining up to get at a sale vendor.

[Da5id Weatherwax]

2 hours ago, Rhonda Huntress said:

Sour cream and onion Pringles

OMG... talk about legal crack....

[Madelaine McMasters]

Ignoring the profile information:

Rhonda's a Huntress.
She's got her arms crossed in front of her, though that doesn't look as intimidating as when I do it, because of the bare bellybutton.
She's tall, red, and hinting of weariness mixed with cynicism.

Maybie's name invites hope, as does her blonde hair.
She's clinging to a huntress for safety, but she's looking outward for attention or opportunity.
She took care to coordinate her outfit with the background. That must mean something!

I don't think Forum fame figures into this. I doubt any of us are well known at random venues in world.

[Cinnamon Mistwood]

4 minutes ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

I don't think Forum fame figures into this. I doubt any of us are well known at random venues in world.

Agree, but I would dance with you before I would dance with Snugs based solely  on forum reputation.

[Madelaine McMasters]

5 minutes ago, Cinnamon Mistwood said:

Agree, but I would dance with you before I would dance with Snugs based solely  on forum reputation.

Hmmm. This is almost worrisome.

Edited February 19, 2020 by Madelaine McMasters

[Scylla Rhiadra]

1 hour ago, Cinnamon Mistwood said:

Agree, but I would dance with you before I would dance with Snugs based solely  on forum reputation.

Don't. I'm waaaay cheaper.

 

[Mollymews]

2 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

SL is kind of fascinating because, although it is structured in some ways like a social media platform (except with 'toons), it's enormously decentralized. Unlike Facebook, Twitter, or other platforms that draw your attention to "important" or popular posters and "influencers," SL provides next to no functionality in that regard: we meet whomever we meet almost invariably by accident rather than design. And so, "celebrity" isn't really much of a thing here.

Scylla you are right, I have under-thought this a bit

famous is probably not be the right word. As you say it can denote celebrity.  They can still make me nervous to be near tho

thinking about it more, along the lines of what you have raised here

Leader is maybe a better word rather than famous

leaders are for me, people who I recognise as having a history of contribution which has made SL a better place, and possess a characteristic which is recognisable in a leader. Many of these people are unsung

some unsung leaders of SL. (I could make a list here pages long. So I just go with a few. Leaving off people who I have mentioned in the past, and missing out a whole bunch who should be on any such list)  

Rhonda Huntress is a unsung. Rhonda's contribution is consistency in conduct. We are never left to wonder what might have been meant.  In a world where change is the constant, then people who are consistent are the pillars that hold the world together. This is not say that Rhonda doesn't change. But any change is consistent with what is true. Holding to what is true is leadership

Lucia Nightfire is a unsung. Lucia can be quite awkward to engage with at times. Lucia's technical knowledge of SL tho, is deep, wide and comprehensive. When Lucia says anything I listen. SL has its fair share of awkward people. Lucia is a awkward leader. Which is what our SL world needs. People like Lucia who can rise above their awkwardness and lead

Innula Zenokova is a unsung. Innula always makes sense no matter the topic, and can engage on pretty much any topic. Innula's strength is always sticking to the point. Time after time, no matter how contentious the topic, Innula consistently stays on point. This is what a leader does

Brenda Archer is a unsung. Brenda is a really kind person. There are lots of kind people in SL. For me tho, Brenda is someone special. Brenda is no pushover, but does always leads with kindness, an attribute of a leader

Pamela Galli is a unsung. Pamela is strong, resilient and never quits. No matter what our SL world throws, Pamela finds a way to keep on going. There are lots of people who strong and resilient, Pamela does tho exemplify this leadership quality

Lindal Kidd is a unsung. Lindal is a helpy person. Lindal is patient. Lindal is always there, answering the same questions time after time, year in year out.  What Lindal knows is that the person asking for help, is not the same person who asked the same question a moment ago. Every person is not the same as the last. To do this requires patience, a leadership quality

as I said I could add other names to this, but is more about a leadership aspect that the people mentioned here, do have. People who are not necessarily famous in the celebrity sense. Just a little bit unsung for their leadership qualities

patience, resilience, kindness, staying on point, rising above awkwardness, and holding to what is true

[Cinnamon Mistwood]

30 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Don't. I'm waaaay cheaper.

 

Mmmmmm  /me smooths her gown (overalls really)  and dons her heels (tennis shoes) *tosses out 10L to Scylla and 10L to Maddie *  I am sure someone in SL made a 3 person dance animation that isn't a ballet or a cheer routine.  I brought drinks 🍺🍸🍷  Do you think we could tempt Rhonda to join?    

 

Please don't call my bluff.  I will chicken out.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

5 minutes ago, Cinnamon Mistwood said:

Do you think we could tempt Rhonda to join?

From what I understand, she's just hanging out in bars waiting to be asked.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

9 minutes ago, Mollymews said:

leaders are for me, people who I recognise as having a history of contribution which has made SL a better place, and possess a characteristic which is recognisable in a leader. Many of these people are unsung

Absolutely.

And the people you mention by name are all entirely deserving of that name. The fact that we don't really have "celebrity" in SL is unfortunate only insofar as the contributions of these people, and people like them, are not recognized.

[SpiritSparrow Skydancer]

18 hours ago, Rhonda Huntress said:

So, let's start with the usual suspects.  Me, the tall redhead on the left and my alt Maybie, the short blond.

 

So here's the thing ... I can't get a dance partner when I go out alone.  Well, I *can* but it never ends well if I approach the man.  I won't approach a woman unless there is some obvious group or comment in her profile that would show her as wanting same sex attention.  However it seems most women who would like a woman to dance with have brought their own.  If I don't make the first move I may as well be a bar stool because no one IM's me.  Very rarely I get "hi" from some guy and even if I say hi back, it's silence ... OK, so let's say I do IM a guy and ask him to dance with me.  For some reason that means we are going out exclusively and I should put him in my profile immediately. Friend request comes before the 3rd song and him leaving in a huff calling me a tease, *****, ***** or ***** for good measure follows shorty after.

I just want a dance and a chat.  Is that really so much to ask?  A little talking, hopefully a laugh and to spend a little time listening to music.

 

Part 2.

Maybie, on the other hand, gets offers.  She also asks others to dance with no issues.  If she does not say anything -- well, talking in local chat so people know she is not AFK -- she will have a dance/chat partner within 30 minutes.  Men and women both approach her.  Very few pressure her beyond the occasional friend request at the end of the night.  Even when I let them know she is not my main.

I guess I'm saying that I am jealous of my alt.  But what I want to know is, why the big difference?  Is Rhonda too imposing?  Is it just having a partner in my profile but not Maybie's?  Or is it that she looks (and acts) a bit more meek and submissive?  Then again it may just be my perception since I am on Rhonda for hours often by myself but Maybie goes right to the venue and says hello to everyone.

Anyway.

What do you think?  Which avatar would you approach if you saw them both at a club? Or am I just paranoid?

where did you get those pants? I need them in rl and in sl.

 

Edited February 19, 2020 by Tarina Sewell

[LittleMe Jewell]

I know that a lot of guys don't ever bother reading profiles, but way back in the olden days, my profile contained some statement that gave hint to my real life age.  Gasp, I'm over 50. A guy told me once that I should remove that from my profile because it ruins their imagery.  He claimed that guys want to be able to pretend that their pixel fun fantasy stuff is with someone young - maybe to help them feel younger, as in mid-life crisis or something.. who knows.  Anyway, after I removed the line, I did get asked to dance more -- and I've always been a redhead.

Anyway, that old memory popped into my head as I was perusing the RL info part of your profile: "Proud Grandmother"

Maybe nothing, maybe something..... to the few that read profiles anyway.  

In all reality, it is very likely a combination of many of the things people have posted here............ because, people are people and people are odd.

Edited February 19, 2020 by LittleMe Jewell

[Rhonda Huntress]

3 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Probably 95% of SL residents aren't even aware that there are SL forums, yet alone read them.

Another slide off topic but ... coming from a gaming stand point, 6 to 8% of the user base will visit a forum for that game.  Of those, only 6 to 8% will post.  These number have been a ballpark estimate for every online game since Ultima Online first came up.  If you cared to count and do the math you could get a rough estimate of the number of active users of SL based off of the number of unique posters on the forums over a month or so.

But anyway, your WAG of 95% is actually pretty close.  I would say 93% of the user base neither know nor care about these forums.

<- is a math nerd

 

[Rhonda Huntress]

28 minutes ago, Tarina Sewell said:

where did you get those pants?

Check your "Received Items" folder

[sirhc DeSantis]

To coin a phrase, I haven't stopped dancing yet. Even with cheeto fuelled urgh etc forumites sigh. It is my job after all. And a dance is just a dance outside of it.

Would post BM/DP move yourself but been done.

 

[Dano Seale]

As I'm newly returned and in a "Billy-no-mates" kinda situation I guess that makes me a prime candidate for a "for emergency dance partner- break glass" role. Even though I'm poor, I won't charge. My guy isn't the best you'll find on SL because mesh and BoM are totally new to me but nobody has yet IM'd me to say "haha, you look like a t**t!", so there's that. My wardrobe is currently extremely limited...due to being poor. On the bright side, as I mentioned in my original post, I can't afford a new appendage because...I'm poor....so everyone would be totally safe in that respect!
Can't imagine anyone being so lonely, bored or desperate, but meh...the offer's there if required. Also, I tend to lag a lot in large crowds as my PC is crap due to being...yeah, poor. I guess being in Sweden while everyone else is in the US won't help much either due to time differences? Wondering why I wrote this now actually! Must be my 'knight in shining armour' personality, lol. FML *sigh*

On a side note: It's a well established fact that threads that contain 3 or more Americans, will usually veer off tangent towards food/cars/insurance, kind of like how the 200 commercial breaks during a football game does! It's ingrained in the American psyche.  😋

[Paul Hexem]

Many men don't enjoy dancing. Said men only do it when they're going to get something for the effort. A treat, if you will. Caveman brain want treat.

Now, since food in SL doesn't really work, that leaves the alternative. And if that's not an option, well...

That said, if you ask enough, you'll find people that break the mold.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

1 hour ago, Gadget Portal said:

Many men don't enjoy dancing. Said men only do it when they're going to get something for the effort. A treat, if you will. Caveman brain want treat.

Now, since food in SL doesn't really work, that leaves the alternative. And if that's not an option, well...

That said, if you ask enough, you'll find people that break the mold.

Geez, the next time someone calls me a misandrist, I'm just going to direct them to the posts here by you and the other men.

Clearly you're not meeting the right kind of man. Come clubbing with me sometime, and I'll find you some nice ones to dance with. Apparently I'm better at that than are you!

[Storm Clarence]

6 hours ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

...

Rhonda's a Huntress.
She's got her arms crossed in front of her, though that doesn't look as intimidating as when I do it, because of the bare bellybutton.
She's tall, red, and hinting of weariness mixed with cynicism.

Maybie's name invites hope, as does her blonde hair.
She's clinging to a huntress for safety, but she's looking outward for attention or opportunity.
She took care to coordinate her outfit with the background. That must mean something!

 

Yeah, all that ^.    But I like the red head with awesome breasts.  I try not to overthink things like that. 

[Tolya Ugajin]

13 hours ago, Beth Macbain said:

I refuse to give men as little credit as Tolya seems to be giving them. It seems like a cop-out to me. Men have advanced beyond being neanderthals, and actually can resist their natural primal urges to bonk women over the head with clubs and drag them back to their caves. 

" When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. "

 

[Bree Giffen]

Rhonda, both of your avatars look good. I don't know why one would be more popular than the other. Men are from Mars as they say.

I am getting a Xena warrior princess and Gabrielle vibe though.