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3 hours ago, AmandaKeen said:

Rhonda, you can dance with me or the social clique / “family” I belong to any time you see us on 🙂 Fun friends are hard to find and you definitely qualify.

Here is my perspective; shorter, shapley females with longer hair get more attention. Bonus for blondes.

My experience has been (at least in SL) that many male avatars are (a) constantly competing to be the Tallest and (b) like to have the male-female height differential one sees in popular media.  When my avatar was taller and my hair bobbed, I got much less attention from male avatars. Conversely, when I lowered my height (to remain size-compatible w my longtime Partner), went to to long hair and made my figure more “athletically” curved - I got much more attention both inworld and on Flickr.

Old Me - 14 faves

Fashiowl !

New Me - 120 faves

Home

Keep in mind; I don’t take the difference very seriously. Changing my appearance for modeling assignments is a “work thing”. The only part I get excited about is when Skye seems happy with how I look. The things we do for love somehow never manage to feel like impositions 🙂

So...


Its not scientific and I only have assumptions as to why the behavior skewed that way - but it was a step-change in my avatar visibility.

Anyway, both your avatars reflect the beauty of your personality. Its just that too many people wander around with blinders on or expect a superficial or trendy standard of beauty.

 

 

14 faves! I really like the look of 'old me'! She looks interesting.

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God, I can't believe I'm doing this .. I am such an attention whore.  It's like I'll do anything for a LOL.

I'll let you in on how we men think.  Note, there may be 0.01% of men who this doesn't apply to (and it applies to gay men as well, just change the target's gender), but pretty much any man who is not

The rant continues ....   So ... I went out with Maybie.  Met a girl and danced.  Nice time. So far so good. This weekend I saw the girl again and we got together for another dance.  At

Posted Images

One of my biggest thrills is to stumble over another Forumite unexpectedly. I always IM them, and depending on who it is, we chat, or singles dance together, or grab some photos.

I ran into Jeny Howlett at Muddys recently and we had a lovely chat. 

@Jeny Howlett

I also met Donna Underall at Muddys, and we got on really well. Chatted for ages, like a proper girls night in a club.

@Donna Underall

I wouldn't be put off by fame, but I've never stumbled across a Linden. I wouldn't engage in a long chat, but I would say Hi, and exchange pleasantries.

I know Rhonda well anyway, but if I find you in world Rhonda, I'm happy to dance with you anytime.😜

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3 hours ago, Amina Sopwith said:

Yes, true. Perhaps it's a bit different in a world where we choose exactly how we look and what we're called...we have control over that so people may think we want to be perceived in a certain way.

 

TY Amina ! (I wish *I* was a Sopwith  /me #isjealous)

Thats why I take no special pride in the change in my avatar’s appearance; anyone who wants to spend the time and L$ can do that; it was nothing special.

But so far as RL is concerned, to build on what you said;

The saving grace is that we have the ability to *choose* how we react or treat people regardless; RL or SL.

Its difficult to control how we feel, but always possible to moderate how we act 🙂

Edited by AmandaKeen
Typonese
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I would love to dance with someone if I thought it was really just to dance and talk and listen to the music..But it always seems like part of something more than that, and that gets awkward for me..

Anyone who ever asks seems like all they want to do is couples slow dances and I'm already in my groove and don't want to come down..hehehehe

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I'll let you in on how we men think.  Note, there may be 0.01% of men who this doesn't apply to (and it applies to gay men as well, just change the target's gender), but pretty much any man who is not a castrated monk, this applies to.

1:  If you smile at us, it means you find us attractive

2:  If you approach us, it means you want to sleep with us

3: If you spend a significant amount of time with us "alone" (which would include dancing) you desperately want to have sex with us on a regular basis

4:  Our hearts are very fragile.  We're emotional snowflakes wrapped in a fragile thin shell of beefcake.  So, when you reject us (ie. spoil our Penthouse Letters fantasy of taking you and the girl over there home for a threesome) we start sobbing internally while lashing out externally

5:  Generally, tall and redhead are individually intimidating - combined they are frightening.  Short and blonde is less likely to flip us over and peg us, thereby making us gay - the ultimate horror!

I hope this clears up your questions.  I wish I were joking, but when it comes right down to it, we really are pathetic creatures who just want to hump, followed by a sammich.

Edited by Tolya Ugajin
ETA: 1-3 is also how you can interpret our actions.
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29 minutes ago, Ceka Cianci said:

I would love to dance with someone if I thought it was really just to dance and talk and listen to the music..But it always seems like part of something more than that, and that gets awkward for me..

Anyone who ever asks seems like all they want to do is couples slow dances and I'm already in my groove and don't want to come down..hehehehe

You *obviously* have wild powers of attraction Ceka. Be gentle with the rest of the world; with great power comes great responsibility 🙂

Seriously; I know how you feel. My Partner and I started up building a circle of *friends* to go clubbing with and it almost seems to have grown into a girl-gang or a continual flashmob 🙂

People DO tend to leave you alone and let you dance with your friends when you arrive in a mob........  too much digital estrogen?

giphy.gif?cid=4d1e4f29a9e385bd89296a322b

Edited by AmandaKeen
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My very personal opinion:

1. Rhonda has a partner. Her partner is a female and her sub/pet. Rhonda must be lesbian. Nothing against lesbians! but she will not be interested at men. 

2. Maybie's Profile (if i looked at the right profile inworld) is empty and nothing about her looks could attempt me to ask for a dance. 

3. I do usually not do close dances with women i do not know well enough ... to be sure that i don't end up (once again) with clingy crazy ... cussing me out in IM because they thought i would leave my partner basically instantly for them ... because we are, after 3 songs, romantically and exclusively involved. 

 

Edited by Conall DeCuir
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9 hours ago, Rhonda Huntress said:

I just want a dance and a chat.

I would love to share a platonic dance and a chat with you sometime Rhonda. 🙂 I promise I won’t spam you with friend requests every two seconds, along with inquiring about your age, voting status,  and “what you smell like in RL.” (No joke, somebody actually asked me this one time. Not the weirdest thing, sure, but pretty random anyway. 😅)

 

~Vael

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3 hours ago, Tolya Ugajin said:

I wish I were joking, but when it comes right down to it, we really are pathetic creatures who just want to hump, followed by a sammich.

I just haven't found this to be the case, myself, Tolya.

I mean, yes, of course there are guys who are very clearly interested in hookups -- sometimes subtly, and sometimes not so much. But they usually get the hint pretty quickly (as for instance, if the conversation in IM rattles on too long, and doesn't seem to be "moving forward" in the direction they'd like to see it go). And I can't remember ever being abused by a guy who I turned down or failed to show interest in.

Maybe I'm just not sexually enticing enough to attract those who only have one thing on their minds, but the men I dance with (there are about five of them), even those I met dancing, are all civil, sweet, and considerate. I am pretty sure (pretty certain, actually) that at least a few of them would respond positively were I to move things in a sexual direction, but none of them has ever exerted any pressure on me to do so, and the ones who've been more explicit about their interest have responded to my explanations of why I won't with complete understanding -- and are still friends and/or dance partners.

Not sure what I'm doing right or wrong, but I'm not meeting your frail-egoed, sammich-loving guys.

Is it maybe a bit weird that my view of men in SL seems to be a bit more positive than yours?

Edited by Scylla Rhiadra
Subject-verb agreement is a thing
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4 minutes ago, Elena Core said:

Elena has been around for quite a few years,  and has never been asked to dance

To be honest, I'm rarely asked to dance by someone I don't already know. That may be because I mostly frequent clubs where couples dancing is less of a thing, but the way it tends to go for me is that I'll get IM'ed, enter into a conversation, and then, at some point after we've established that we "like" each other well enough to continue, it will lead to dancing. But often, the dancing doesn't happen the first time we meet: an offer will arrive after we've established some rapport and maybe friended each other.

I have a great deal less experience hopping onto a dance ball with someone who's cold IM'ed me for a dance. Just a guess, but I suspect that proceeding directly to dancing before you've had a chance to get to know each other probably establishes a different set of expectations? But, as I say, that almost never happens to me, so I can't really say.

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9 hours ago, Rhonda Huntress said:

Is it just having a partner in my profile but not Maybie's? 

I haven't read the thread (no time this morning), but having a partner on a profile would prevent me from approaching someone for a dance.  Also if I notice a guy is waaaaay taller than I am, I won't approach. In SL SR is 6'3" give or take which on some sims is average, others short, and on one or two of "my" music clubs, is tall!  Animations don't synch up if there is a huge difference. I have never been approached by a woman to dance, now that you mention it. I have no idea what my reaction would be. Probably ok & would accept, but would say asap that I'm straight. But I'm not afraid of catching Teh Gays, so, yeah... interesting now that you mention it.

Edited by Seicher Rae
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To quote Richard Thompson....

...
Miss, you don't know me, but can't we pretend
That we care for each other 'til the band reach the end.

One step for aching, two steps for breaking
Waltzing's for dreamers and losers in love.
One step for sighing, two steps for crying,
Waltzing's for dreamers and losers in love.

...

Edited by Da5id Weatherwax
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9 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Not sure what I'm doing right or wrong, but I'm not meeting your frail-egoed, sammich-loving guys.

Is it maybe a bit weird that my view of men in SL seems to be a bit more positive than yours?

I refuse to give men as little credit as Tolya seems to be giving them. It seems like a cop-out to me. Men have advanced beyond being neanderthals, and actually can resist their natural primal urges to bonk women over the head with clubs and drag them back to their caves. 

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3 hours ago, Dano Seale said:

Rhonda is tall, don't know how tall but over a certain height, say 6'5" and upwards, the suspicions kick it that she's driven by a man!

Interesting.  Rhonda is 6'1" prim height flat footed.  That put her around 6'6" to 6'8" in heels.  In SL I thought that to be a modest height.  She is also made to be slightly taller than Clover.

6 hours ago, Bitsy Buccaneer said:

Are the poses and facial expressions you picked for the photo typical of what they'll be using when standing around talking at a dance venue? Rhonda's is very much don't mess with me and Maybie's is far more vulnerable, playing up to someone else's strength.

The pose was just something I had in inventory but the facial expresions are their normal Moods selection from LeLutka HUD.  So all in all fairly typical.

 

6 hours ago, AmandaKeen said:

Rhonda, you can dance with me or the social clique / “family” I belong to any time you see us on

I'll remember that!

 

@Mollymews, if you ever see me in world, please say hi.  I know I would say hi to you. I would love to meet you in the pixel flesh sometime.

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1 minute ago, Beth Macbain said:

Men have advanced beyond being neanderthals, and actually can resist their natural primal urges to bonk women over the head with clubs and drag them back to their caves.

Unless we ask them to, of course. Nicely.

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7 hours ago, Mollymews said:

Rhonda Huntress is famous. Famous in the SL sense. You might not think this yourself but you are

people don't approach famous people as easily as they do people they see as non-famous

how famous people don't get approached so easily, at least by me

i have seen Strawberry Singh (before Linden) out and about inworld on a few occasions.  We have the same taste in jewellery and frequent the same shops, but I have never opened a conversation with her. Because famous, and because Strawberry was shopping so I just be quiet

is the same when I see others who are famous.  Like if I saw Rolig or Qie or Whirly inworld, I would never open the conversation.  Unless I was on their parcel and they was standing right in front of me and all by themselves and I couldn't avoid them without being impolite.  Otherwise I just be quiet until they acknowledge my presence. If not then is ok and I slip away and hope I never interrupted whatever they may have been doing

the most famous people I ever met in all SL in all time was Philip Linden and Torley Linden.  They were having a chat about philosophy, so I just stood by the side and listened. Then Torley says Hi and Philip says Hi, so I say Hi back and then end sit on a log next to Philip and never said anything more while him and Torley were chatting.  Just listened. Famous people make me nervous

i did end have having a little chat to Philip Linden after Torley logged off, which was quite nice. But if they had never said Hi to me first then I would never have said anything at all. I wouldn't have sat down either if they hadn't

That!

I call it the star-struck-syndrome.
My ALTs get approached a lot more then Caroline, probably for that same reason.
 

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35 minutes ago, Conall DeCuir said:

1. Rhonda has a partner. Her partner is a female and her sub/pet. Rhonda must be lesbian. Nothing against lesbians! but she will not be interested at men. 

2. Maybie's Profile (if i looked at the right profile inworld) is empty and nothing about her looks could attempt me to ask for a dance. 

Not really a lesbian, I like who I like.

And you are right about Maybie's profile.  I need to work on that if she is going to be around more often.
https://my.secondlife.com/maybie.nightfire 

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31 minutes ago, Beth Macbain said:

Men have advanced beyond being neanderthals, and actually can resist their natural primal urges to bonk women over the head with clubs and drag them back to their caves. 

 

30 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Unless we ask them to, of course. Nicely.

Ungah Bunga ! Ask me ! :P

Captain_Caveman.jpg.123aaa7014a7f748a3386305eefb594f.jpg

Wut ? :|

 

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I get approached by guys and girls. Maybe 70/30 split.

A lot of the guys I "attract" are experienced pros (profile check), but either turn sarcastic/patronising or snowflake very quickly when I don't roll over and let them be my number one.

The exceptions to this are a breath of fresh air, but few and far between.

Girls generally are wanting girl on girl action and how lucky they get depends on my mood.

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