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xTornTwilightx

Is "Mass blocking" a strategy? Also a rant

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3 hours ago, Alwin Alcott said:

i am too... why would anybody reply to you about their likes while your profile is blank, totally empty?..
no pic
no groups
no payment info
no description
no interests
no picks
no info anywhere....

you perhaps don't realize but that gives a lot of people all red lights and alarms to avoid  getting involved.
i'd block and derender you instantly if you come in with so much noise.

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I couldn't agree more... Profile is really important. When I get an IM I always look at the person and then their profile before answering. If I find an empty profile from someone who's here since more than a month it only mean two things to me :

- They're never online so it's useless to try to sympathise more since we won't never talk. 

- They're going to become lewd pretty soon.

 

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5 hours ago, xTornTwilightx said:

I just hate that out of 30 people in a sim,
10 of them are either going to have creeper profiles or ones that I don't vibe with ("I am mistress blah blah bow to me"),
7 are going to be afk, 3 are going to be strange monster people and I get a bit judgey if, lets say, your hips are five feet wide, 7 will not want to chat, and 3 will be really nice. 

Go to a RL bar with a guest count around 30 people.
10 of them wont vibe with you just by the first impression you got from them,
17 of them are busy with their cellphones,
2 of them are talking to their partner, besides using the cellphone
1 might be up for a chat. Maybe the bearded motocycle guy, who knows? But you will never know if he could be your soulmate, because you expect the whole gang to enter the bar any moment.

Quote

I just hate that

Try to burry your discomfort. You just expect too much from virtual avatars controlled by real humans. 
Everything will be fine :)

Edited by Resi Pfeffer
typo
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A lot has been said about possible reasons and I agree with most of that. There are so many different people behind their avatars, different characters, feelings, needs, expectations or cultural contexts. It is not good to assume everyone will respond the same way to the same IM. 
I can speak only for myself but if anyone compliments me about my look, I believe that simply saying thanks is the best answer. Not sure why it should be me to carry the conversation further from that point. This may be because of the way I am or because the culture I live in but I assume that if anyone really wants to talk to me, it is up to this person to actually catch my attention and complimenting my hair or my profile won’t do that. If I would be interested in chatting with someone I would do my best to make the chat interesting and ask questions involving that person into the conversation. But there is no reason to block anyone just because they seem too busy or not interested in chatting with me. I block only intruders, trolls etc. 

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6 hours ago, xTornTwilightx said:

I'm not trying to block communication, I just want to ...not click them again and read their profile

on each person's profile dialog is a Notes section.  Just type something in there as a reminder that you already said Hi to them. The Notes section is private to you, so you can type anything in there as you like

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11 hours ago, Tari Landar said:

I didn't say it was  a suggestion, lol. But it was what was mentioned, and it's often used as an icebreaker. In some threads, it actually has been suggested to be used as an icebreaker (something the person is wearing, that is). I'm simply explaining why that may not always be nearly as successful of an icebreaker as some people think.

I feel awkward when people try to talk to me about clothes out of the blue, I really do. I hardly think saying "thanks" to what I assume the person thinks is a compliment they are giving me, is rude. Some people seem to think it is, or not replying at all is rude. It's quite the opposite for me. When I say it, I'm trying to be polite and avoid awkwardness, not be rude. 

 

I get a lot of comments on my appearance, usually compliments, sometimes questions. Questions are fine, I can answer those and that usually leads to a much more interesting conversation. But when it's just a comment to say they like something I am wearing, what else is there to say in reply except "thanks"?

To those people who think 'thanks' is rude, what is the non-rude alternative?

And no, I am not gonna type out "Please accept my most heartfelt and deepest gratitude for your gracious compliment". Not with one hand. 😋

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I get where the OP is coming from and I agree with most of the helpful suggestions.

The thing is, I’m kind of stuck on the blocking people because they didn’t talk to you or respond the way you wanted them to. That seems kind of a strange reaction.

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1 hour ago, Matty Luminos said:

To those people who think 'thanks' is rude, what is the non-rude alternative?

"No thanks"!

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8 hours ago, Alwin Alcott said:

i am too... why would anybody reply to you about their likes while your profile is blank, totally empty?..
no pic
no groups

There seems a strange imbalance here with the OP clearly understanding the importance of a profile in introducing yourself but not filling out their own (or have they posted the question on an unused alt for some reason?) If I encountered this inworld, part of my mind would be wondering what's going on here. Depending on my mood, health and whether I'm busy with something else or not, I might try to find out. Or I might not.

No pic doesn't bother me. I'm not a big one for photographing my av so my building alt went without a profile pic for over a year, mostly because I'd forgotten about it.

But no groups? How do you have a slife and not get into any groups? Every noob I've known has had groups, including some random ones because they ended up at a place with an auto-inviter and accepted. I suppose the groups could all be hidden, for whatever reason.

Groups are one of the things I look at when I'm trying to get a sense of a new person. The rest of the profile can be carefully curated to promote a certain image but groups give indications of how they actually use SL and what their interests are.

And to the OP - if you're not in any groups, you're missing out on an important vector for socialising and meeting new people.

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16 hours ago, Garnet Psaltery said:

Pfft.  There are some very nice people playing Bloodlines, such as me, though I'm not going to try to recruit you. :)  If you're a musician then there are plenty of groups and events that might interest you. When are you generally around?

 

17 hours ago, Lindal Kidd said:

Hi, @xTornTwilightx!

A belated welcome to Second Life!

Yes, you'll find a lot of people who are unwilling (unable?) to respond well to an initial greeting and carry on a conversation.  Some are busy, some are AFK, some may just not resonate with your cheery, upbeat approach.  Keep trying...eventually you'll find at least a few like minded souls.

I'd add to the people who've suggested you get involved with some activity in SL.  Whether that's Gorean roleplay (please, no!  I'm kidding), or Bloodlines (still kidding!) or attending a Victorian art gallery viewing in Caledon, or playing Get the Freight Out or getting into racing at a yacht club.  There are tons of possibilities; you're sure to find something that's fun.

Also, join some groups with whom you have a common interest.  A group may not get together physically (some do, though), but the group chats can be very entertaining.

As Wulfie implies, I would not block someone simply for being a dud, personality-wise.  Only block people who are actively annoying.

For the most part I've found that Gor RP people are no different than other RP people, BDSM people, or people in SL in general.  Some good, some bad, some drama.  Gor just seems a bit more artificial, and easily the lousiest builders in SL (has anyone told Gorean sim designers about this thing called "mesh"? - by the Priest Kings everything looks like it's 2009!).  it's not nearly as brimming with casual misogyny and unrestrained testosterone as I'd expected.

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Well, all right then.

This only goes to show that what one person doesn't care for, others do!  So...find something you like; SL has endless choices.

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The various ways people interpret and respond to people saying hello to them, and offering a compliment (whether it's about boots, boobs, brains, or building skills) highlights the absolute weirdness of all of us who find our refuge in SL.

It's just a greeting. 

Edited to add that I'm no different - RL as well. Someone says hello to me and I will spend the next 17 hours trying to decipher what they meant by it. 

Edited by Beth Macbain
Added more stuff.
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15 minutes ago, Beth Macbain said:

Edited to add that I'm no different - RL as well. Someone says hello to me and I will spend the next 17 hours trying to decipher what they meant by it. 

Me too. 

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11 hours ago, Cinos Field said:

It I ever do this, I can tell you exactly why: because you IM'd me despite me being right there in front of you, possibly already chatting in public.

This too... unless it's some comment about what's going on in public and we're "co-conspirators in opinion" I tend to not like being IM'd when local chat is the norm for what's going on right then.

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11 hours ago, Wulfie Reanimator said:

It's very weird and awkward when a stranger tries to start a conversation in public, but many Americans seemed really chatty.

As a person of color... when in RL and folks start chatting to me... depending on tone; it can instantly defuse my tension over "is this Becky about to call the cops?" and I know for whites it can defuse their "black/brown panic". In fact you kind of get trained to say something to the white folks around you in many spaces to keep anyone from being put in danger by them... Depending on tone it can also tell me to get the heck out of there ASAP...

But when folks do engage... the 'danger alerts' many Americans have can be defused because well... we do live in an armed and dangerous society with extremely high racial and political tensions...

- when and where I grew up, violence could just randomly blow up around you...

 

If you'd ever been close to death because of a violent attack; had to shoot/stab someone or been shot at, or had police follow you, or been arrested, you'd get what I'm saying here. But even many people here who have not had those experiences have ingrained a notion that talking diffuses 'stranger danger'.

 

So in RL I actively look for places now where people are chatty in a FRIENDLY way, especially if it's across racial, class, and/or political lines - it tells me that's friendly and safe.

And I think one reason I don't like it when I'm in a venue where everyone is in IMs, or someone randomly IMs me with an interrogation - is my RL has made such things make me feel unsafe.

 

 

Edited by Pussycat Catnap
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29 minutes ago, Pussycat Catnap said:

reason I don't like it when I'm in a venue where everyone is in IMs, or someone randomly IMs me with an interrogation - is my RL has made such things make me feel unsafe.

yeahthat.gif.99a785df971dbed7b7201b36cafbfae7.gif

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One person’s “polite and respectful” can be another person’s “whoa dude...you’re doing too much right now”.

With that said, if you’ve been on here for an extended period of time, some of the wackiest IM have started as really nice conversations that quickly transformed into “Wtf is happening!” It happens with such frequency that you kind of think “Where is this going?” When someone starts off with a couple of compliments because not soon after, you find out...

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I tried out de-rendering today and it was amazing! I went to one of my favorite spots and while I chatted I peeked profiles and probably derendered about 15 people. I was worried about blocking folks because they might just be busy with life or maybe later  they'd want to ask me something. 

For you detectives out there who brought up my profile... maybe this is an alternate account I only played for an hour =P This is my first time here and every forum experience I've ever had made me feel like they were handing out pitchforks at the log in screen, except for here of course!

I want to make sure yall know that I'm not "rage-blocking" but simply cleaning up the game experience. I do admit its cute going to a "club" and seeing a couple dozen people, but its getting to the point where, when faced with reading all these profiles, I would kind of rather log off and read a book. 

Mmm now I'm imagining a setting built into SL that flags you for being ok with random communication. Like a little icon or something, what do yall think?

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I'm curious... if you are wanting to make friends/find people to chat with, why would you bring it up here on an alt account (if that's what you did)? Seems to defeat the purpose a bit, unless you're just yanking everyone's chain. ;) 

That being said, SL is not IMVU, and there are a lot of people here who don't have dressing up and chatting as priorities. There's no need to "flag" people for what they are interested in;  that's what profiles are for. 

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19 minutes ago, xTornTwilightx said:

Mmm now I'm imagining a setting built into SL that flags you for being ok with random communication. Like a little icon or something, what do yall think?

There already is. It's the tab in the profile called "Interests".  It has options including "Meet" and "Group", which I interpret as meaning meeting people and joining like-minded groups. There's also a free-type section to add things you're interested in that aren't on the list.

Trouble is, hardly anyone uses it any more. 

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2 hours ago, xTornTwilightx said:

I tried out de-rendering today and it was amazing! I went to one of my favorite spots and while I chatted I peeked profiles and probably derendered about 15 people.

You are complicating your whole inworld experience. You cannot force communication with just everyone. It either makes click or it doesnt and choosing well is as important as having luck. 

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Myself,I don't usually IM people in places like clubs or where ever there is a lot of people..

I find General chat to be more useful and more comfy and more fun.. You know you are talking with people that are there and pretty much anyone can jump in at any time.. A lot of IM's seem to come from that.. It gives a good feel of the room..

If General chat is dead, I'll usually move on to another place..

 

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5 hours ago, Sylvia Tamalyn said:

I'm curious... if you are wanting to make friends/find people to chat with, why would you bring it up here on an alt account (if that's what you did)? Seems to defeat the purpose a bit, unless you're just yanking everyone's chain. ;)

I don't think they want to actually get to know anyone in SL, they just seem to want to block everyone...

 

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1 hour ago, Pussycat Catnap said:

I don't think they want to actually get to know anyone in SL, they just seem to want to block everyone...

 

running a OS region on a stick would perhaps be a better place.. or rent a region and lock it.

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