The Anti-Valentine's Day Thread

[Scylla Rhiadra]

My attitude towards Valentine's Day has been, through the years, by turns positive, ambivalent, and negative. When I was in elementary school, it was associated with excitement, some confusion, and occasionally a little hurt. In middle school and the early years of high school, it was a source of hope, trepidation (once or twice bordering on terror), and, sometimes despair (cue the late 80s emo music!).

Nowadays, and since I was in my mid-20s I guess, I mostly think of it as kind of stupid.

Generally, I think, I'm now just very cynical about Valentine's Day. To me, it is the supreme Hallmark Holiday™, devoid of any real meaning not lent to it by a commercial culture intent upon finding yet another reason to emotionally blackmail people into spending money that, frequently, they don't really have to spare.

In RL, I am in a very happy relationship. I'm not going to tell you that "every day is Valentine's Day!" but I also don't feel the need to validate it once a year by a special celebration utterly disconnected from the actual facts of my relationship.

In SL, I am very much single, and more than content to remain so: I expect (and frankly hope) that my Friday in-world will pass by without romantic incident of any sort.

For some, of course, Valentine's Day can be a very sad and lonely time, as they are bombarded through pop culture by the message that they are somehow incomplete and disfunctional unless they are in a conventionally "romantic" relationship -- or that their actual relationship is a failure unless it is marked by the arrival of a bouquet of flowers, a box of chocolates, precious and trite greeting cards, and a candlelit dinner.

If you just love Valentine's Day, that's great: no one wants to take it away from you (although many of us wish that it was not shoved in our faces quite so insistently). If you have nothing but wonderful memories of the holiday, and expect to be blown away (and possibly out of your clothes) by Friday's festivities, then more power to you; I sincerely wish you the joy of it! If you run a greeting card shop or a florist's, I hope you have a profitable day!

This thread is not for you.

But if you hate, sneer at, are saddened or even just bored by Valentine's Day, this is the place for you to express your feelings -- in text, music, or with a picture.

[Eggy UwU]

This is such a good idea for a thread this upcoming Valentine's Day.

I will share some of my experience upon my feelings this upcoming 'holiday': I recently was in a relationship with someone whom I met on SL not long ago (less than a year ago), and basically we met IRL, had a long distance relationship for a few months, and recently broke it off due to lack of time we could spend together and some other factors. (Thankfully, there is no hostility because I still call this person a dear friend). With that, it still kind of sucks with it coming up on this Valentine's Day, but I'm not so worried because I know I have good friends whom surround me IRL and in SL to say that they kind of "fill the void" of lonesomeness.

With that being said, if anyone feels lonely this upcoming Valentine's Day-- just remember, it's okay to be right where you are in this moment. Surround yourself with those whom you can call upon. ❤️ 

[BelindaN]

I just remember feeling left out at school, as with most school stuff.  I may have once got a card, but unsigned so what's the point.

Now I'm happily married, so we just ignore it.

Here in SL,  like most things, its over-egged. (That might be a Yorkshire saying.....over-egging the pudding).😋

[So Whimsy]

I've never liked Valentines.

Funny little anecdote; my grandma always used to tell me I need to buy my parents something for valentines. She never did understand that it was for lovers and not those you love.

[ItHadToComeToThis]

I do love how mid post you threw a pic out there like “prove me wrong..” 😅

[Ted McGregor]

My yearly poem :  "Roses are red ; Violets are blue ; Stay away from me ; Ef you.

[Amina Sopwith]

2 minutes ago, TDD123 said:

My yearly poem :  "Roses are red ; Violets are blue ; Stay away from me ; Ef you.

You need to read some Dorothy Parker. 

 

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea,
And love is a thing that can never go wrong,
And I am Marie of Romania.

[Jackson Redstar]

As a kid in elementary school, only the "popular" boys and girls had fun with it, everyone else was reminded what a loser you are. And as I aged I begin seeing what it really is, like Christmas, just a giant sales scam and guilt trip show - of course, unless you're "rich" then you can have some fun with it. But V Day especially is a moronic, shameless attempt into guiltiling men to blow a few bucks (or a few hundred) to make the SO feel all romantic like. At least in SL you can play V Day  with your SO for very little money, so there's that at least! lol

[Marigold Devin]

2 hours ago, TDD123 said:

My yearly poem :  "Roses are red ; Violets are blue ; Stay away from me ; Ef you.

I really am fond of you, because you are honest, and you make me laugh too.  

[Orwar]

   I usually do an anti-Valentine's shoot, haven't thought of what to do this year though.

   But yeah, in short I perceive Valentine's day as yet another consumerist frenzy, fueled by idiotic social convention which puts irrational expectations on people, of material validation and displaying affection through giving them gifts which are rarely good for anyone; inferior chocolate, over-priced trinkets and flowers .. Don't get me started on how I abhor the flower industry. 

   "Thirty-four million tons of mine waste occurs creating Valentine’s jewelry. The roses generate 9,000 metric tons of carbon dioxide and shipping them (mostly from South Africa) wastes fossil fuel. And Valentine’s Day has the highest suicide rate of all of the holidays." 
   https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/obesely-speaking/201602/valentine-s-day-love-and-the-broken-soul

[Ted McGregor]

Got a card today. It said :

"You're important to someone at least.

 

 

 

Not me and I can't think of anybody else.

But still. "

 

 

Edited February 12, 2020 by TDD123

[Marigold Devin]

Scylla, thank you for starting this thread, it was just what I needed. 

I think I may have been put off Valentines day when I was 16 and was presented with the most over the top card, complete with very long and flowery poem, at a bus stop (of all places) by a boy I was seeing (very briefly) back then. His name was Michael, and he looked like Leo Sayer, with the mad hair. A really lovely boy, but when he insisted he read the poem out to me, I was absolutely mortified (I still feel mortified by it), as more and more people were arriving at the bus stop.  It took me a long time to live down the embarrassment.

Public displays of affection probably have never really been my thing.

I may have put on another thread already this week that I used to work in a large call centre, and on Valentines Day there were all these ridiculously massive bouquets of roses arriving sporadically throughout the shift. One of the women who hadn't received a bouquet by mid-afternoon got very shirty and actually rang her other half and DEMANDED he send her roses, because everyone else was getting them. Kind of missing the point there, wasn't she?  

Since that time, that particular woman, and at least half of the others who received the roses, are no longer with the same people.  Valentines does not validate a relationship. Not. At. All.

In real life quite recently (November), by a bizarre twist of fate, I found myself back in touch with my teen boyfriend (we are both now 57 and have a lot of life experiences between us), and I realised what my life had been missing. He is my soul mate. 100%. Thoughtful, and romantic. But still this Valentines malarkey is not for us.  

I may, however, be sucking up to the Lindens again by logging in to Isle of View on Friday, just to hug a Linden or two. That just seems like silly Second Life fun. 😁

 

[Ted McGregor]

5 minutes ago, Marigold Devin said:

 

His name was Michael, and he looked like Leo Sayer, with the mad hair.

That just begs for this .. ( I know I'm awful )

 

[Ted McGregor]

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I'm allergic to them all

Hatchoo

[Ted McGregor]

Voilets are red

Roses are blue

Or the other way around

Ef this rhyme

[Orwar]

Just now, TDD123 said:

Ef this rhyme

   That doesn't rhyme. 

[Ted McGregor]

Just now, Orwar said:

   That doesn't rhyme. 

Shuddup or I'll send you roses with a card telling how cute you really are ..

[Storm Clarence]

/me    I love you!

/her   Is that the wine talking?

/me   No.  That's me talking to the wine.

 

My sentiments on Valentine's Day is of Biblical perspective - Adam and Eve didn't have a date on Valentine's Day; they had an apple.

[Orwar]

   They say, in the name of your love
Cheap trinkets and chocolates shove
On whomever you fancy
Be it Linda or Nancy
Or both! We could profit thereof!

   Pendrop.

[Eva Knoller]

Reading about elementary school kids feeling left out of the card swap makes me sad. Kids can be very cruel. As much as people like to scoff at the “everyone gets a trophy” way that we coddle kids nowadays, I am happy that my son’s elementary school requires kids to bring in a card for every child in the class if they are doing cards. 

I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day in either life. I’ve been with my husband for twenty years, and we don’t need a specific day in order to show love. And I am single in SL because I would like to remain married in 1st Life. 😄

[Scylla Rhiadra]

5 hours ago, GillianXRCR said:

With that being said, if anyone feels lonely this upcoming Valentine's Day-- just remember, it's okay to be right where you are in this moment. Surround yourself with those whom you can call upon.

Yeah, very much this.

I think it kind of comes down to having a good sense of your own self-worth. It is lovely to be the special object of someone's affection and attention, obviously, but I don't need that in order to like (mostly) who I am, and where I am currently at. And, of course, surrounding yourself with people who may not be "lovers," but who recognize the value of you just being . . . you.

Of course, this is sometimes easier said than done. I remember after my last RL breakup -- which occurred just before my first entrance into SL -- knowing that I shouldn't feel suddenly "less loved" or "less valuable" than I had been, but struggling at least a little with this anyway.

And for those of us who have never been given the kind of positive reinforcement that we all need and deserve, self-love can be, I think, as much of a struggle as finding someone "special" in your life.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

4 hours ago, BelindaN said:

I just remember feeling left out at school, as with most school stuff.  I may have once got a card, but unsigned so what's the point.

 

18 minutes ago, Eva Knoller said:

Reading about elementary school kids feeling left out of the card swap makes me sad. Kids can be very cruel. As much as people like to scoff at the “everyone gets a trophy” way that we coddle kids nowadays, I am happy that my son’s elementary school requires kids to bring in a card for every child in the class if they are doing cards.

Yeah, I kind of like the way that the holiday now seems to be treated in elementary schools, as an inclusive opportunity to bond together as a group, rather than as a ridiculously premature attempt to thrust prepubescents into "the relationship game."

And I personally don't see any positives for the 8 year old who spends recess in tears because they didn't get any Valentine's Day cards. It doesn't "toughen them up": it weakens them, and leaves them more vulnerable in the future. To hell with that crap, thank you very much.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

4 hours ago, Syn Anatine said:

Funny little anecdote; my grandma always used to tell me I need to buy my parents something for valentines. She never did understand that it was for lovers and not those you love.

Personally, I think your grandma was a very wise woman.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

4 hours ago, ItHadToComeToThis said:

I do love how mid post you threw a pic out there like “prove me wrong..” 😅

Valentine's Day: Been there, done that, got the tee shirt.

I was actually so delighted when these "anti-Valentine's Day" tees appeared on sale a week or so ago, almost buried amidst the mostly unbelievably tacky dross of V-day merchandise that is clogging up in-world stores at the moment, that I literally let out an audible "WOOT!"

As for point of the pic -- yeah, I'm not just "single," by virtue of "not having someone." I'm defiantly, proudly, militantly single!

[Alyona Su]

Most people are cynical about most holidays. And too many are for synthetic commercial reasons (such as Valentines). As an eight year-old kid in school? Sure. As anyone more mature than that? Seriously?