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Hello everyone...

I have been on SL for a while but just recently joined here. I hope, everyone is doing ok. I have a question regarding being stalked on SL. Years ago, my RL sister, who also plays SL, was being stalked. After blocking him literally everywhere, he started paying her 1 Linden Dollar every 15 minutes along with a nasty message. My sister stayed offline for a while and when she came back, he was gone. So, that problem ressolved itsself.

However, someone I care about recently stopped seeing someone he was just casually dating. The woman didn't take it to well and all kinds of drama followed until he blocked her everywhere he could. But now we are having the same problem again - she pays him 1 Linden Dollar EVERY MINUTE for as long as his set lasts (at least one hour - he is a DJ). The payments are - of course - accompanied by some really nasty messages. Abuse report has been filed but in the meantime, she is happily paying him with cursing him out at the same time.

Does anyone know what is to be expected happening from Linden Lab ? She has many alts - so unless they PERMA-ban her alongside with an IP-ban, she can pretty much continue to play her games and eventually run him off of SL.

He is very popular in our community and we do not want to lose our friend. I am grateful for any type of advice.

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Welcome to Second Life Forums, Amohe.

Can the nasty messages just not be ignored? Linden Lab are very unlikely to get involved, because we do have the facility to block people. What am I missing here? 

Edited by Marigold Devin
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Thank you for your reply. Messages, that come along with a payment, cannot be blocked even though that avatar is blocked. Can you imagine, trying to DJ on SL, having to concentrate on your music, the crowd, possible song requests etc and you get SIXTY to SEVENTY payments of 1 Linden Dollar each within an hour, along with an insult ?

Edited by Amohe Noel
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7 minutes ago, Amohe Noel said:

Thank you for your reply. Messages, that come along with a payment, cannot be blocked even though that avatar is blocked. Can you imagine, trying to DJ on SL, having to concentrate on your music, the crowd, possible song requests etc and you get SIXTY to SEVENTY payments of 1 Linden Dollar each within an hour, along with an insult ?

Thank you for more clarification of the situation.  I am in world testing something. If it is a success or a failure, I will return to this thread. 

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I will admit to being a little bit rusty, having had quite a break from Second Life. But, what may work, at least for now, until the stalker gets fed up and goes away is this.

Your DJ friend can put themselves into "unavailable mode" if they are using the Firestorm viewer (which I prefer to use - I have not yet tested with official Second Life viewer).  People will be able to send L$ tips, and the DJ will get them, but the messages will not be seen on the screen to distract him. It does mean also that anyone contacting your friend in IM will get the message that he is unavailable via IM, but open chat he can still read.

Other answers may follow. As I say, I am quite rusty. 

 

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In the Second Life official viewer it is the first menu - "Me" - "Status" - "Do Not Disturb".  It still means the DJ can see and participate in open chat, and receive tips, but any messages will not be visible on the screen, and IMs can be read later.  

 

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Another solution (perhaps an additional one to the one suggested by Marigold) might be for your DJ friend to speak with the owner of the club about the problem, and get the offending person banned from the land. It won't stop her continuing to pay him his L$1-per-minute, she could still do that from anywhere in the grid, but it might be some deterrent if she can't see his reaction or see that he's getting flustered about it. People do this sort of trolling behaviour because they want to see a reaction; if they can't get one, they get bored and move on.

I find it curious though, that two supposedly independent people are using the exact same tactic.

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21 hours ago, Amohe Noel said:

Thank you for your reply. Messages, that come along with a payment, cannot be blocked even though that avatar is blocked. Can you imagine, trying to DJ on SL, having to concentrate on your music, the crowd, possible song requests etc and you get SIXTY to SEVENTY payments of 1 Linden Dollar each within an hour, along with an insult ?

The best workaround may be in notification settings:

In. Firestorm Viewer: 
Preferences: Notifications: Notify me when I spend or get L$ (ON) -> Report L$ transactions in nearby chat instead of toasts (ON)

In Secnd Life Viewer (LL Official) and Catznip Viewer: 
Preferences: Notifications: When I get L$ (OFF)

In Black Dragon Viewer: Preferences: Notifications: Notify me when I get L$ (OFF)

Firestorm: This way, you can still see when money is paid to you ( A must for a DJ or Emcee, etc) - but not getting spammed with toasts. The L$1 snapping will just be another chat line among the others, so it should be more tolerable to deal with.

LL Viewer, Catznip, and Black Dragon: Unfortunately this will turn off all notifications of incoming L$, so DJ will have to be careful to watch Tip Jar reports (they often name who donates) in order to throw out thanks, etc.

I'm not in the situation where I would need to attempt such a work around, though (in theory) if receiving L$ notices is turned off or redirected then any attached messages should be also.

20 hours ago, Marigold Devin said:

In the Second Life official viewer it is the first menu - "Me" - "Status" - "Do Not Disturb".  It still means the DJ can see and participate in open chat, and receive tips, but any messages will not be visible on the screen, and IMs can be read later.  

 

The problem with this is that it also blocks all IM notifications and requests are usually made through IM. Though the IMs are still there, one has to manually get to them.

Edited by Alyona Su
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   Wait, wait. You're telling me I could earn L$60 per hour by just breaking a few hearts? Where do I sign up?!

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Supposing that the regular tips are received via tip jars and alike, turning off the notifications as described above should be fine without any letdown for your friend's regular duty.

And hey, L$ 70 easy tips guaranteed, yay! 😎

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If he does the option of setting himself away, make sure he has a auto-response up too to let people know in vauge terms of why he has that set.

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Sadly as sucky as as it sounds, LL wouldn't normally spend their time on something like this as they see it as nothing too major. To them it'd be like an everyday thing: "Oh, hey, guys we got another this guy's doing so and so report, let's just trash it". Unless ofcourse the guy gets enough Abuse Reports filed then maybe they'd act on it, otherwise if it isn't illegal or of the nature that's that kind of situation LL would just yawn and move on.

Much voice of experience myself here, I've filed Abuse Reports on occasion and nothing has seemingly been done before. If you consider it like this; the Abuse Report feature in most cases is just a false sense of security by LL to make the resident feel safe when in reality it doesn't really do anything.

I mean, the average SL resident isn't some big name celebrity and what not so why would they bother to take the time out of their day over something as petty as that when the block feature is there? I would think there is some degree of bias with it, such as if you're well known or have premium then chances would be much higher something would be acted out upon.

It would just be wasting their time and resources on something that can be helped by the individual themselves with the block feature, where time and resources could be spent elsewheres that has a much bigger impact in-world. Such as sim-wide attacks etc etc. It would

It's like in the same way how most cops handle most situations, they'll be there to comfort and say: "File a police report" but more often than not they wouldn't do anything.

It would be just a "Between them" sorta thing.

Edited by Simo Vodopan

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5 minutes ago, Simo Vodopan said:

Much voice of experience myself here, I've filed Abuse Reports on occasion and nothing has seemingly been done before. If you consider it like this; the Abuse Report feature in most cases is just a false sense of security by LL to make the resident feel safe when in reality it doesn't really do anything.

No one gets a report of what the governance team does with an abuse report. How would you know that they trash reports that fall within their purview?

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Just now, Pamela Galli said:

No one gets a report of what the governance team does with an abuse report. How would you know that they trash reports that fall within their purview?

Not saying I know, just saying it's a likelihood considering the thousands of residents doing this and that at any given time.

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3 minutes ago, Simo Vodopan said:

Not saying I know, just saying it's a likelihood considering the thousands of residents doing this and that at any given time.

Yes they have said they do not get involved in resident to resident disputes. But if they do get involved in some thing that breaks the terms of service they will not tell you or anyone else about it. It has nothing to do with how many reports they get.

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4 minutes ago, Pamela Galli said:

Yes they have said they do not get involved in resident to resident disputes. But if they do get involved in some thing that breaks the terms of service they will not tell you or anyone else about it. It has nothing to do with how many reports they get.

Well, my memory's been pretty fuzzy as of late so thanks for the remainder (been alot of stress on my end these pass few days so it's hard keeping track of this and that). But uh, that's exactly what I was saying, if it's something like that then it's no big deal, unless it becomes too big to be ignored (could happen never know).

Edited by Simo Vodopan

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Transactions on secondlife account history shows what is said. Copy Paste into the report? Better yet screenshot it and attach to the report. Maybe they will ban with such repetitive harassment. In my state harassment occurs legally after 3 times harassing a person or a clear picture that the reoccurring thing is indeed intended to harass.

 

Also, if enough people asked LL maybe they could stop the feature to add a personal message and input a drop down menu of basic things ie; Gift, payment, refund, donation,rent,tip...

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On 2/3/2020 at 9:43 AM, Amohe Noel said:

Hello everyone...

I have been on SL for a while but just recently joined here. I hope, everyone is doing ok. I have a question regarding being stalked on SL. Years ago, my RL sister, who also plays SL, was being stalked. After blocking him literally everywhere, he started paying her 1 Linden Dollar every 15 minutes along with a nasty message. My sister stayed offline for a while and when she came back, he was gone. So, that problem ressolved itsself.

However, someone I care about recently stopped seeing someone he was just casually dating. The woman didn't take it to well and all kinds of drama followed until he blocked her everywhere he could. But now we are having the same problem again - she pays him 1 Linden Dollar EVERY MINUTE for as long as his set lasts (at least one hour - he is a DJ). The payments are - of course - accompanied by some really nasty messages. Abuse report has been filed but in the meantime, she is happily paying him with cursing him out at the same time.

Does anyone know what is to be expected happening from Linden Lab ? She has many alts - so unless they PERMA-ban her alongside with an IP-ban, she can pretty much continue to play her games and eventually run him off of SL.

He is very popular in our community and we do not want to lose our friend. I am grateful for any type of advice.

Say you want to share IRL picture and send the stalker a picture of a hairy biker

Or I would raise the price and charge higher for text that's how twitch streaming works, either way, both are stupid, and the issue is that you are all too polite, you should have a drama-out in local chat so everyone sees it and it rains down tension on the whole community, which I really enjoy doing, I would say it's the second next best thing to shorting a stock that crash. 

Edited by iamyourneighbour
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2 hours ago, iamyourneighbour said:

Say you want to share IRL picture and send the stalker a picture of a hairy biker

Or I would raise the price and charge higher for text that's how twitch streaming works, either way, both are stupid, and the issue is that you are all too polite, you should have a drama-out in local chat so everyone sees it and it rains down tension on the whole community, which I really enjoy doing, I would say it's the second next best thing to shorting a stock that crash. 

How fiendishly delightful! You could also save the picture from 'Lemon Party' and say, "That's me and the boys".

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Block list does the trick in firestorm never have to see them again. You may need to few people as witness to tell the owner the sim to make sure this person does not bother your friend.I know host should be allowed to ban that harassing was not allowed leave drama by the door.

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If someone wants to give me gifts just so they can annoy me, I wear a size $10kL..for future reference, but even a piddly $1L will do,  preferably in increments of 100 at a time. 

Ok, be serious Tari..focus...

 

In all honesty, the more attention you give someone who is intentionally trying to get under your skin, the more they're going to do it. That's why threads like this, I'm sorry to say, are rarely (I'm venturing closer to never) actually helpful, or successful. It's more likely that the person doing the annoying will see it and think "oooo, I got them now", and, fred's your uncle, now they'll up their game.  That's how pests work, and pests like this truly do LIVE for the attention, it's all they've got some days. 

As much as I an commiserate with you friend, although not really from the same perspective (I don't have some bitter ex in sl), I can understand the frustration. I have had someone do something similar to try and get under my skin.  The person would randomly pay me some obscure amount, I assume to try and get a response from me, which never actually worked, except one time I was particularly annoyed, but that's on me for responding, really, and it lead to getting even MORE obscure payments of arbitrary amounts. ARs won't really do you a whole hell of a lot of good. I mean, they might offer you some mental peace of mind, but, eh, they're just not worth the time it takes to type them out, in most of these instances. I'm not saying you shouldn't. just, be realistic about your expectations with them. Even IF LL did anything, you'll never know, and annoying the living crap out of someone isn't likely to be an actually bannable offense (though, again, we can't know for certain), at best it might lead to a temp suspension, but that might even be pushing it, really. A slap on the wrist seems the most likely, if anything, to be done at all by LL> 

Tell your friend to do their best to ignore, not respond, not even let it show how absolutely horrendously annoying it actually is, use whatever blocking tools and methods are available...and then take that money and waste it on strippers and drugs...or something.

I wasted mine on breedables, lmao.

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Yeah, I am kind of in agreement with several things mentioned here. As annoying as the stalking is, it IS virtual and so is mainly just annoying. So, deep cleansing breaths as you deal with the tw*twaffle. Frankly, the best revenge is just to keep taking the money. :) Making one or two announcements in local, "Hey, thanks to so-and-so for the donations! But $L1 every minute? Is there another way to do this? LOL" or something totally innocent to the average viewer but gets the point across OR something much snarkier that everyone understands? Name and shame? "A shout out to my stalker so-and-so! If I seem distracted it is because I'm getting paid $L1 each minute folks. :) "  Then try the various suggestions for dealing with it within the viewer.

I'm not so sure LL would ignore this either, because I thought that while they didn't get involved with personal things between people they do get involved with commerce. If your complaint is that the stalker interferes with the ability to perform his DJ job in SL, perhaps that would get more attention that "she's just bugging me." ??? I dunno.

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