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Hello everyone

I am Jin from India, 24 years old.I started using SL from 1st February and i wish to find someone inworld who cares me.I am very lonely , depressed person in real life and i wish to find my real soulmate in SL.I don't mind the location.I just want care.Hope i can find it.

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Well, I'm lonely and depressed in RL, too and all that BUT... here's the thing: If you lead with that, you push people away. Would YOU think, "Gosh, that person sounds interesting!" if that is what you read and the only thing you read? Probably not. So, Jin from India, do like Bree suggested. Go into SL and learn about it. Talk to people, and I'd suggest that the first words out of your mouth are not "I'm lonely, depressed and desperate." Find things YOU like to do. Music? Art? Exploring? Photography? If all you want to do is pixel sex, well, you can do that too but that is all it is going to be. Good luck, have fun, and don't get discouraged. Many of us have been around this crazy place for a loooooooong time.

Edited by Seicher Rae
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On 2/2/2020 at 6:54 AM, JoeJin said:

Hello everyone

I am Jin from India, 24 years old.I started using SL from 1st February and i wish to find someone inworld who cares me.I am very lonely , depressed person in real life and i wish to find my real soulmate in SL.I don't mind the location.I just want care.Hope i can find it.

Hey JoeJin how are you getting on ? Did you find some friendly places yet ? Do you want some suggestions ? The Shelters a great place to start.

Edited by rasterscan
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Start with yourself Find peace with yourself and mind. Go to a meditation place be with peace let go what bother you.  Slowly go to places and explore and mingle with others.

feel1.jpg

feel7.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by Vanoralynna
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   Ugh, here come the inspirational quotes ...

s-l300.jpg

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20 minutes ago, Orwar said:

   Ugh, here come the inspirational quotes ...

Inspirobot.

Edited by Amina Sopwith
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2 minutes ago, Amina Sopwith said:

   Haha.

   I once put up a piece of calligraphy I did where I'd written 'Finally Friday - one step closer to the grave!', people got mad because it was 'poor taste' because of the whole New Zealand shooting thing that happened the same day. Excuse me for not being omnipresent?

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Well nothing wrong with sharing quotes or giving advice better to help someone give them a hand that what good person does.

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If you are feeling depressed you should seek professional help.

Furthermore, your soulmate doesn't solemly exist to care for you. Relationships are two way streets.

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On a serious note, OP, I don't know what sort of mental health services exist where you are, but if there are any, take advantage of them. And really, really don't invest more of yourself than you can afford to lose in an internet relationship, especially if there are unverifiable characteristics that would cause you pain if you should turn out to be misled about them. It's SL and God alone knows who any of us are. 

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I hope he proves me wrong, but I get the impression this is another one hit wonder post. A post and run. A post without thanks for the help. :::See the Pet Peeve list for several people having that one::: Again, I hope he proves me wrong. And if he does, I humbly and sincerely apologize for presuming. Not holding my breath.

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I think he is lonely and depressed because he is alone and doesn't have anyone who cares about him. Thats why he is looking for a person and not something to do or find himself. Topic name is funny though, who cares usually means who gives a sh...t 

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1 hour ago, clone00345 said:

I think he is lonely and depressed because he is alone and doesn't have anyone who cares about him. Thats why he is looking for a person and not something to do or find himself. Topic name is funny though, who cares usually means who gives a sh...t 

Actually, to someone who is also lonely and depressed, etc etc, the topic name makes perfect sense. Depression... lies. It convinces you that no one cares. No one will care. You no longer care...

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Wow, another illustration of how some of the people on these forums really need to stop and ask themselves "Is this response really warranted and/nor necessary? Am I saying something useful and kind, or just saying something to further inflame a situation?" You haven't been asked to psychoanalyze the guy... Stop posting judgmental pointless posts that would do nothing more than hurt others. If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. (PS- Best responses made by @rasterscan and @Vanoralynna...) So now that I've broken my own rule and said something to further inflame a situation....

@JoeJin, I get it, I really do. Been there myself. I hate to say it, but it's really hard to find a true soulmate through Second Life (SL), just from my own observations. Its hard enough in real life (RL), but here, you're also competing with the fact that we are all people behind a screen and what you learn about a person isn't necessarily the same as what you might learn if you met the person for real. I've tried dating in SL, and I've found it to be way harder than dating in RL. So while I don't want to completely discourage you, I do want to share that so hopefully you keep an open mind about it. My best advice is the same as some of the others- you've got to get out there and find stuff that interests you and meet people that way. Get involved with some groups that are dedicated to helping out new SL users, like The Shelters as @rasterscan suggested. Get involved in some roleplay communities and participate in some of their events. But be patient and give it time. If you're too pushy or seem too desperate and start messaging everyone you come across in-world, you'll get blocked more often than not. Go about it the same way you would in real life, and eventually you will make friends. Perhaps then, you might find that solemate. 💕 Good luck 😊

 

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On 2/2/2020 at 6:54 AM, JoeJin said:

i wish to find someone inworld who cares me.I am very lonely , depressed person in real life and i wish to find my real soulmate in SL.

Hi JoeJin :)

looking for an individual person to help fulfill your emotional needs is A LOT to ask of someone, but I do understand the need that you feel, and I know it is hard for you right now. Seicher Rae's first reply to you is very good advice - imagine if you were happy and content with yourself: you'd still want to enjoy a social life and feel welcomed and liked or loved by the people you mix with. Start there, with social interaction that doesn't put demands or pressure on people you engage with. Find some places that you feel comfortable and happy spending time with others, like dancing and chatting and laughing, where you can relax, visit regularly and become known to people through your personality and honesty. People will care about you as part of their crowd, and more personal friendships will have a chance to follow.

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Oh dear. For all the people singled out, whether for the brilliance of "the best" posts or the eternal shame of being tsk-tsked by the Appropriateness Police, to the poor schlubs that weren't mentioned, specifically or implied, at all by anyone, in any post in this thread... Group hug! (Make sure to stay within your allotted groups though, no cross contamination cooties, ffs.)

 

grouphug.gif

Edited by Seicher Rae
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18 minutes ago, Seicher Rae said:

Group hug!

 giphy.gif

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32 minutes ago, Seicher Rae said:

Oh dear. For all the people singled out, whether for the brilliance of "the best" posts or the eternal shame of being tsk-tsked by the Appropriateness Police, to the poor schlubs that weren't mentioned, specifically or implied, at all by anyone, in any post in this thread... Group hug! (Make sure to stay within your allotted groups though, no cross contamination cooties, ffs.)

 

grouphug.gif

Hahahahahaha love this reply.

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Yeah, you're right, it's best to just sit back and ignore the dicks that hide behind their computer screens and don't seem to give two *****s about the thoughts and feelings of others. No need to call them out on that behavior, although it's often that behavior that more and more often these days drives people to extremes--those depressed souls that don't find acceptance in the real world, find the same judgement and bullying online that further pushes them into a state of hopelessness, and eventually they end it by taking their life or the lives of others. I've seen it happen twice in two months in my area of the world- two 13 year old girls dead because of online bullying. But I guess that's their fault, they must have been too sensitive- little snowflakes that couldn't handle it. Right? 

But sure, it's more fun to poke and prod at those who are depressed, perhaps seem a little different, those that don't fit in with the rest of us. Who cares of the consequences though, since we're all just online hiding in a virtual world where nothing really matters.

Perhaps if the "Appropriateness Police" was more of a thing in online forums as well as RL, perhaps things in this f-ed up world might be a little more kind, helpful and accepting. But I'm not going to stop calling out bull***** when I see it... 

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We’ve gone both metaphysical and popcorn-level in no time! I’m so proud of y’all.

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1 hour ago, PandoriaMoonshadow said:

Yeah, you're right, it's best to just sit back and ignore the dicks that hide behind their computer screens and don't seem to give two *****s about the thoughts and feelings of others. No need to call them out on that behavior, although it's often that behavior that more and more often these days drives people to extremes--those depressed souls that don't find acceptance in the real world, find the same judgement and bullying online that further pushes them into a state of hopelessness, and eventually they end it by taking their life or the lives of others. I've seen it happen twice in two months in my area of the world- two 13 year old girls dead because of online bullying. But I guess that's their fault, they must have been too sensitive- little snowflakes that couldn't handle it. Right? 

But sure, it's more fun to poke and prod at those who are depressed, perhaps seem a little different, those that don't fit in with the rest of us. Who cares of the consequences though, since we're all just online hiding in a virtual world where nothing really matters.

Perhaps if the "Appropriateness Police" was more of a thing in online forums as well as RL, perhaps things in this f-ed up world might be a little more kind, helpful and accepting. But I'm not going to stop calling out bull***** when I see it... 

Actually I have a pretty good understanding of what he is going through because I am in the same situation and have been in it for years now. Have gone to a therapist for help, attempted to force myself to find myself or something to do like a hobby. But NOTHING WORKS. The only thing that helps me is being around people who care and who are there for me whenever I need them. That's why I said these advices on finding yourself or a hobby are totally useless if all you truly want is a human being.

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The dude included being depressed in his OP. If he didn't want comments about that, then... well, tough.

The fact is being in a relationship will not ever make someone who is clinically depressed happy. The only thing that happens then is that two people will be miserable instead of just one. 

People who are dealing with depression (especially untreated) have no damn business starting a new relationship. It places unrealistic, unfair expectations on another human being. It sounds trite, but you have got to love who you are before someone else can love you. OP sounds like they need some truthiness, and advising them to seek professional help and NOT look for a relationship is the best advice they could get. 

Sometimes advice is harsh, unasked for, and not what we want to hear - and that is usually exactly when that advice is needed most. 

If therapy doesn't work, try another therapist. If a hobby doesn't tickle your fancy, try something different, medication doesn't work, try another medication. But do not drag another human being down into your own pit of misery. That's not love. That's toxic codependency. 

The "appropriateness police" can bite me.

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17 minutes ago, Beth Macbain said:

The "appropriateness police" can bite me.

   I did consider writing a reply in this thread again earlier, but I couldn't really be bothered to - but there's something about that specifically that nags me.

   People who swoop in to 'protect' someone, who shower them in hollow sympathy and give them false hope, they're not helping; if anything, they only make themselves feel better through pretending to be kind, at the cost of the people whose genuine issues they completely disregard or simply do not understand.

   Depression isn't something you just smile away, it's something for which you should seek professional treatment as the only way to make the symptoms go away, is to deal with the root issues that cause them. It can be many things, and in the most simplest forms it may boil down to low self-esteem or being discontent with your situation in life, and it's commonly a side-effect of other mental health issues which you may not even be aware of. It took my psychiatrists years to figure out that I had ADD, and simply being aware of that myself, and knowing how to work with it or work around it has helped me a lot - my depression and social phobia are all but gone, and the process of eliminating those was fairly quick once we knew what the underlying cause was, and why I had such a hard time adapting to my environment.

   Whenever someone suggested they were there to 'hug it out' or 'talk about it' it only made me angry; the last thing a depressed person needs is an idiot with a Messiah complex who can't see past the tip of their own noses. 

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If you are really depressed, I don`t mean sad or having a rough patch in life, but you are actually experiencing depression, you should definitely seek professional help. You can not snap out of depression nor would being loved and cared for magically cure that...Depression is induced by chemical imbalance in your brain and should be treated, preferably sooner then later. Luckily with new generation of antidepressants (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI)), in proper dosage, you could feel a million times better in just a few weeks (speaking from personal experience here)...

If on the other hand you are just unhappy about your current life situation, low income, loneliness, looks etc etc, start working on it today, get into some sport, start learning something new etc etc, you will meet new ppl, expand your views, get a new skill and be healthier and happier...nothing ever comes from wallowing in grief and/or blaming the world for being dealt with a sh*t hand (once again speaking from experience)...

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