Girls Who Play Guys

[AlienHost]

I was just curious if their was a group inwolrd for girls that enjoy having guy avatars, and I don't mean as an alt that you use for photos or rp. Like the full on guy lifestyle. 24/7 on second life.

I've played a guy for about a year now and I just find it more freeing and fun. I can seriously say that when I log into SL my whole mind frame changes. Its like I suddenly get transported into a man's thought process and behave completely different than I regularly do offline. Plus being a guy, I can definitely get away with acting a certain way without being like judged and whatever.

People seem to like emotionally unstable dudes for whatever reason. Could be the whole "savior complex" mentality I've noticed with a lot of people I dated.

Now my issue is I'm done hiding it. I hate making up excuses for why I can't voice and I hate having people get all pissy about me not showing a reallife photo. And when I do show photoshoped photo a feel like I'm catfishing.

I'd love to be out and open about being a chick irl and would love to meet people who are the same. I honestly hated losing friendships and/or having people lose interest the moment I tell them I'm female.So I'd much rather know from the begining if people are cool with it, without the fear of rejection.

 I've been with dudes and chicks while in my guy avatar and I always felt bad claiming to be this hot, misunderstood (I'm gagging its that clingy), sensitive boy irl even though I'm not. I would be lying if I didnt say im totally down to date a person who is also female irl but is playing as a male in sl.

We can be little yaoi boys if you want just know I'm always top XP.

Let me know if this exists or if people like this would be willing to link up and be "bros" together lol. I have to admit that when I'm "me", I'm like this light-hearted shy little school girl, but as a dude I'm dark asf. So if you can handle that...and the sudden high pitched voice if we ever talk on mic (I'll try to sound as manly as my vocal cords will allow)...hit me up.

 

[Syo Emerald]

If you have an idea for a group and the group doesn't seem to exist yet, make it! I don't know if one exist, but also only have a guy as an alt. I would never drop Syo.

58 minutes ago, AlienHost said:

I hate making up excuses for why I can't voice and I hate having people get all pissy about me not showing a reallife photo.

Same people would get pissy with you, if you refuse those things while on an avatar that matches your RL sex. They get pissy at anyone, who doesn't treat SL like a weird mix of 3D tinder/facebook.

 

[AlienHost]

Just now, Syo Emerald said:

If you have an idea for a group and the group doesn't seem to exist yet, make it! I don't know if one exist, but also only have a guy as an alt. I would never drop Syo.

Same people would get pissy with you, if you refuse those things while on an avatar that matches your RL sex. They get pissy at anyone, who doesn't treat SL like a weird mix of 3D tinder/facebook.

 

Good point. And in regards to making a group, how would I get people to join? I know I need L$100 to even make one but where do I go from there? 

[Lindal Kidd]

This is not at all what I thought it was going to be from the post title...

[Wulfie Reanimator]

12 hours ago, AlienHost said:

Now my issue is I'm done hiding it. I hate making up excuses for why I can't voice and I hate having people get all pissy about me not showing a reallife photo. And when I do show photoshoped photo a feel like I'm catfishing.

I'd love to be out and open about being a chick irl and would love to meet people who are the same. I honestly hated losing friendships and/or having people lose interest the moment I tell them I'm female.So I'd much rather know from the begining if people are cool with it, without the fear of rejection.

 I've been with dudes and chicks while in my guy avatar and I always felt bad claiming to be this hot, misunderstood (I'm gagging its that clingy), sensitive boy irl even though I'm not. I would be lying if I didnt say im totally down to date a person who is also female irl but is playing as a male in sl.

I don't know of any groups, but I have some random thoughts to share.

Based on my personal experiences from doing the same thing, first of all I feel like you might be dating the wrong kind of people if they absolutely must see the real life you in order to take the relationship (or even friendship) seriously. Secondly (and maybe even more importantly), you should stop lying. Not because "it's wrong to lie," but because when you do lie, you're putting yourself in the exact situation you've described; where you're anxious about the person finding out about it, or losing interest in you, or getting mad at you for deceiving them.

It's a complicated situation and really hard to undo once you're in it. Even if the person would normally be okay with you being a girl IRL, a friendship built on false premises can really break trust.

The way I used to deal with it was to just not talk about RL stuff at all. There's lots of other topics to talk about and you can get very close to people without getting into any RL stuff. These days I can talk about RL stuff as long as it doesn't relate to my physical body, so school/work/hobbies is fine but if you want to avoid the "are you really a guy" question, you should avoid talking about things that might be considered gender-specific. It's like walking on egg-shells, I know, but I've also learned to just let people come up with their own conclusions and not really correct them either way.

Edited December 22, 2019 by Wulfie Reanimator

[AlienHost]

4 hours ago, Wulfie Reanimator said:

I don't know of any groups, but I have some random thoughts to share.

Based on my personal experiences from doing the same thing, first of all I feel like you might be dating the wrong kind of people if they absolutely must see the real life you in order to take the relationship (or even friendship) seriously. Secondly (and maybe even more importantly), you should stop lying. Not because "it's wrong to lie," but because when you do lie, you're putting yourself in the exact situation you've described; where you're anxious about the person finding out about it, or losing interest in you, or getting mad at you for deceiving them.

It's a complicated situation and really hard to undo once you're in it. Even if the person would normally be okay with you being a girl IRL, a friendship built on false premises can really break trust.

The way I used to deal with it was to just not talk about RL stuff at all. There's lots of other topics to talk about and you can get very close to people without getting into any RL stuff. These days I can talk about RL stuff as long as it doesn't relate to my physical body, so school/work/hobbies is fine but if you want to avoid the "are you really a guy" question, you should avoid talking about things that might be considered gender-specific. It's like walking on egg-shells, I know, but I've also learned to just let people come up with their own conclusions and not really correct them either way.

Thanks! I actually really like this response. I guess it isn't anyone's business what gender I am IRL.

Though, I'd still love to meet people who do the same thing. We don't even have to be all that open about it.

[Lillith Hapmouche]

Sadly, I'm one of the "RP with m-alts" folks, so I kinda disqualify. 🤔

As for the group: give it a meaningful description and just wait and see. Though you should have a trustworthy alt of yours as co-owner and second member to avoid that it gets deleted.

[Fritigern Gothly]

@AlienHost : If you are creating such a group, may I suggest calling it "G.I.R.L.s of SecondLife" or something like that,  where G.I.R.L. would stand for [G]uy/[G]irl [I]n [R]eal [L]ife and have it open for people who are using either mains or alts to enjoy (second) life from the opposite side of the gender divide, and have it be open for both (RL) males and females.

Just some thoughts.

EDIT: Saw 2 groups in-world, neither appeal to me because they are both for guys in RL. First, the smallest group is called "G.I.R.L. ( Guy In Real Life )" and the other is called "Girls who are Guys". The name and descriptions of these groups don't instill much confidence in me that RL Girls would find a comfortable home there. But I could be wrong.

 

Edited December 23, 2019 by Fritigern Gothly
Found two groups

[AlienHost]

On 12/22/2019 at 7:40 PM, Fritigern Gothly said:

@AlienHost : If you are creating such a group, may I suggest calling it "G.I.R.L.s of SecondLife" or something like that,  where G.I.R.L. would stand for [G]uy/[G]irl [I]n [R]eal [L]ife and have it open for people who are using either mains or alts to enjoy (second) life from the opposite side of the gender divide, and have it be open for both (RL) males and females.

Just some thoughts.

EDIT: Saw 2 groups in-world, neither appeal to me because they are both for guys in RL. First, the smallest group is called "G.I.R.L. ( Guy In Real Life )" and the other is called "Girls who are Guys". The name and descriptions of these groups don't instill much confidence in me that RL Girls would find a comfortable home there. But I could be wrong.

 

That's not a bad idea. I guess I could open it up for both genders my only issue is that guys BTA already have groups. I also couldn't find any groups inworld that is primarily for girls BTA. But I guess I'll see depending on the number of people interested. 

[NewLuden]

I am still pretty new to SL but through my years of roleplaying and being in these sorts of communities I've always felt a bit more satisfied and at ease when playing and portraying males. I am currently looking to make a bit of a male set and I have a sneaking suspicion I will be more active as him than my current female ones. I am not sure the psychology behind it but I do know that portraying a male is far more enjoyable to me when I am looking to make friends or even just write with strangers. 

I even feel a bit more at ease being in relationships with females who are playing males even if we are just writing straight relationships. It's strange, but though I am not portraying a male all the time, I understand completely the feeling. 

I also second what those have mentioned previously, being honest even in these situations goes a long way. It is a good way to find good people that you want to keep in your circles and keep as friends. 

That said, I would love to join your group if you ever make it and if you'd like a friend, I'd love to chill sometime! 

[AlienHost]

5 hours ago, NewLuden said:

I am still pretty new to SL but through my years of roleplaying and being in these sorts of communities I've always felt a bit more satisfied and at ease when playing and portraying males. I am currently looking to make a bit of a male set and I have a sneaking suspicion I will be more active as him than my current female ones. I am not sure the psychology behind it but I do know that portraying a male is far more enjoyable to me when I am looking to make friends or even just write with strangers. 

I even feel a bit more at ease being in relationships with females who are playing males even if we are just writing straight relationships. It's strange, but though I am not portraying a male all the time, I understand completely the feeling. 

I also second what those have mentioned previously, being honest even in these situations goes a long way. It is a good way to find good people that you want to keep in your circles and keep as friends. 

That said, I would love to join your group if you ever make it and if you'd like a friend, I'd love to chill sometime! 

That sounds great and yeah I'd definitely love to hang out! Sorry I'm taking so long to make it. This account is just a throw away alt so I could gauge how people felt about the idea without outting myself just yet. Ugh. So far I like the G.I.R.L title my only issue is that another group is called that. Anyone have any other ideas for a group name? 

[NewLuden]

3 hours ago, AlienHost said:

That sounds great and yeah I'd definitely love to hang out! Sorry I'm taking so long to make it. This account is just a throw away alt so I could gauge how people felt about the idea without outting myself just yet. Ugh. So far I like the G.I.R.L title my only issue is that another group is called that. Anyone have any other ideas for a group name? 

No problem! Feel free to add me whenever you like, I'm generally always lurking. And I suggest something along the lines of maybe Greek mythology or along those lines. Perhaps look into the story of Castor and Leda. I think something that is not particularly on the nose would be nice. Just to pique interest get a little attention. But I like being mysterious and edgy. T-T

[AlienHost]

Alrighty so the group is made!! Finally lol. 

 

Its called: G.W.A.B & B.W.A.G 

I need to figure out how to insert group links (I'm sure its easy I'm just responding on a phone so I'd have to switch over to my laptop) but feel free to look it up in search and join. 😊

Edited December 26, 2019 by AlienHost

[NewLuden]

6 hours ago, AlienHost said:

Alrighty so the group is made!! Finally lol. 

 

Its called: G.W.A.B & B.W.A.G 

I need to figure out how to insert group links (I'm sure its easy I'm just responding on a phone so I'd have to switch over to my laptop) but feel free to look it up in search and join. 😊

It's not popping up on search just yet, I think you have to allow it to be searched! But I'm excite :3

[Fritigern Gothly]

5 minutes ago, NewLuden said:

It's not popping up on search just yet, I think you have to allow it to be searched! But I'm excite :3

Look for either "boy who are girls" or "girls who are boys" or follow this link: secondlife:///app/group/46699a31-341b-8119-0f43-aedc1a83ef75/about

 

 

Edited December 26, 2019 by Fritigern Gothly
Made the link actually do stuff

[NewLuden]

1 hour ago, Fritigern Gothly said:

Look for either "boy who are girls" or "girls who are boys" or follow this link: secondlife:///app/group/46699a31-341b-8119-0f43-aedc1a83ef75/about

 

 

I am not sure if it's because I am new or I am just confused, but the link doesn't seem to work or seem to be able to be pasted anywhere to find the group T-T I am really bad at this

[Wulfie Reanimator]

1 hour ago, NewLuden said:

I am not sure if it's because I am new or I am just confused, but the link doesn't seem to work or seem to be able to be pasted anywhere to find the group T-T I am really bad at this

If you copypaste it in your browser's address bar while you're logged into Second Life, the group profile will open in your viewer.

Alternatively, you can copypaste the link into local chat, and it will turn into the group's name which you can click to open the group profile.

Edited December 26, 2019 by Wulfie Reanimator

[Lureo]

10 hours ago, NewLuden said:

secondlife:///app/group/46699a31-341b-8119-0f43-aedc1a83ef75/about

The link does not works. What is the name of this group so we can search?

[Fritigern Gothly]

18 minutes ago, Lureo said:

The link does not works. What is the name of this group so we can search?

Ummm... read?

18 hours ago, AlienHost said:

Alrighty so the group is made!! Finally lol. 

 

Its called: G.W.A.B & B.W.A.G 

I need to figure out how to insert group links (I'm sure its easy I'm just responding on a phone so I'd have to switch over to my laptop) but feel free to look it up in search and join. 😊

 

[Maitimo]

 

On 12/22/2019 at 10:27 AM, Wulfie Reanimator said:

Secondly (and maybe even more importantly), you should stop lying. Not because "it's wrong to lie," but because when you do lie, you're putting yourself in the exact situation you've described; where you're anxious about the person finding out about it, or losing interest in you, or getting mad at you for deceiving them.

That's exactly why the OP is doing this...

On 12/21/2019 at 10:14 PM, AlienHost said:

Now my issue is I'm done hiding it. I hate making up excuses for why I can't voice and I hate having people get all pissy about me not showing a reallife photo. And when I do show photoshoped photo a feel like I'm catfishing.

I'd love to be out and open about being a chick irl and would love to meet people who are the same.

Also both the link posted and the name in search are working now. It just takes a while for new groups to get noticed by the system, I think

I joined it, although I'm not certain that I qualify, as I am a guy in RL but I'm not entirely a girl in SL. Just mostly a girl, these days. I am very open about my RL gender and mention it in at least three places in my profile (which, it seems, 99.99% of guys never read).

One question; what does BTA stand for?

Wait, two questions; what's the meaning of "PARKING" in the group tag? 

Edited December 27, 2019 by Matty Luminos

[Drake1 Nightfire]

5 hours ago, Lureo said:

The link does not works. What is the name of this group so we can search?

Try reading the post DIRECTLY above yours.. 

14 hours ago, Wulfie Reanimator said:

If you copypaste it in your browser's address bar while you're logged into Second Life, the group profile will open in your viewer.

Alternatively, you can copypaste the link into local chat, and it will turn into the group's name which you can click to open the group profile.

I mean.. Its not rocket science..

[Fritigern Gothly]

7 hours ago, Matty Luminos said:

One question; what does BTA stand for?

I have wondered that myself, but I assume it means "Behind The Avatar".

[Dean Haystack]

On 12/21/2019 at 10:14 PM, AlienHost said:

(...) Now my issue is I'm done hiding it. I hate making up excuses for why I can't voice and I hate having people get all pissy about me not showing a reallife photo. And when I do show photoshoped photo a feel like I'm catfishing.(...)

Then don't hide it?

On 12/22/2019 at 2:48 PM, AlienHost said:

(...) I guess it isn't anyone's business what gender I am IRL.(...)

It isn't anyone's business, you have the right to keep your privacy.
Just like everyone else has the right to not associate anymore with someone they feel like wasn't honest with them.

You see you can't have your cake and eat it too, if you don't hide it, then the onus would be on the individuals themselves to make their choice if they would like to associate themselves with you or not.

Let me give you an example, I have a trans friend in SL that insists on buying pants and shorts with bulges on them, and when I asked her why does she care so much and even skips on clothes that don't have bulges, she said because other wise she might be sending the wrong message with her appearance and that way people can make an informed decision if they wanna approach her or not, which saves her a load of trouble.

Now, different strokes for different folks, I'm not telling you to carry on a sign, what I am telling you is, if hiding that fact is causing you distress and costing you personal relationships, maybe it is time to rethink that approach as you seem to be doing right now, I'm willing to bet being honest will be liberating and it won't ever again cost you any relations when the truth is revealed.

[Maitimo]

15 hours ago, Dean Haystack said:

if you don't hide it, then the onus would be on the individuals themselves to make their choice if they would like to associate themselves with you or not.

Let me give you an example, I have a trans friend in SL that insists on buying pants and shorts with bulges on them, and when I asked her why does she care so much and even skips on clothes that don't have bulges, she said because other wise she might be sending the wrong message with her appearance and that way people can make an informed decision if they wanna approach her or not, which saves her a load of trouble.

I do this. I have my RL gender mentioned 3 times in my profile, I wear bulges, I never have breasts and I even wear light facial hair most of the time, even when I'm dressed completely femme. I figure that if someone doesn't want to talk to me because I'm not actually a girl, I don't want to talk to them either. On the other hand, I'm not trans and I identify as male in both SL and RL; it's just that I enjoy dressing femme in SL. It also helps weed out those people who IM every woman in a place without reading her profile or even taking a closer look at the avatar. If I get a sexual approach from a straight guy, I know he's not looked any further than my hair and clothes.

However I can understand why some trans people take the opposite approach, SL is often the only place they can be their authentic selves, and if they are open about being trans, they will often not get treated as their authentic selves.

No need to pressure the OP into no longer hiding it though; the decision to be public is already made, hence the post and the group.

[AlienHost]

Okay so I have been busy with the holidays and all that but I'm happy the links are working! I'm currently at family's house that has poor internet so I cannot login to check on things but I'm happy people are joining!!! 

 

We definitely need to all meet up when I can get online.