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Do you have any preferred pronouns?


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   Hm, I'm leaning towards 'Your eminence', but I'd let 'Your excellency' slide. 'The right honourable' is acceptable, as long as it's written in the Queen's English.

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This is actually a good question. After all, if SL is, to an important degree anyway, about exploring our selves and our identity, pronouns are an important part of that.

I am aware, of course, that this is a rather fraught subject in RL (and anyone who knows me at all well is going to know where I come down on that), but for me it is really about civility and respect at the level of the individual. I have a long-standing personal policy of addressing, and generally treating, people according to how they represent in SL. Most of us, in fact, already do that. There are people whom I know are representing here, for instance, as a different gender than their RL biological assignment: I, and most of us I think, respect such choices here, and will refer to such people by the gender pronouns appropriate to how they represent here.

I, personally, don't need to specify my pronouns of preference: I'm obviously a woman, and that is invariably how people address me. For some time, however, I've included my preferred pronouns on my in-world profile. I do this not because I am ever misgendered, but rather to support those who sometimes are. I frankly want to help normalize the practice of stating these preferences, not because I think most of us will ever need to, but because I believe it is a basic right that everyone should be able to choose their own identity, and I would like the practice, so important for many who are trans or non-binary, to become accepted and non-controversial. (Which is not to say that I think everyone needs to, or should, do this.)

As for the larger political question surrounding pronouns, I don't think we need laws or rules to enforce the use of preferred pronouns (nor do I know of anywhere in RL where this is in fact the case), but if I see someone deliberately and consistently misgendering when I know that they know better, it at least has the virtue of clearly signaling that that person is an ungenerous, cantankerous *****. And that's always useful information.

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I don't believe in after-life, or before-life, or reincarnation, or any other variety of ways a person can experience life more than once. 

Since I think we only get one go at this, I really believe everyone should be free to live as who they feel they are, who they believe they are, however and whatever that is, so long as it doesn't interfere with anyone else's ability to live their own lives. It costs me absolutely nothing to use whatever pronouns people prefer. It affects me in absolutely no way whatsoever. It makes another person feel accepted for who they are, as they should be. There are no do-overs in life. 

So I agree with @Scylla Rhiadra that this is an important topic, though it could well devolve into the same mess we recently saw on another thread.

I'm a chick so I like the feminine pronouns. I'm happy to use any pronoun anyone else wants me to use for them. 

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7 minutes ago, Beth Macbain said:

It costs me absolutely nothing to use whatever pronouns people prefer. It affects me in absolutely no way whatsoever. It makes another person feel accepted for who they are, as they should be.

THIS ^^^^

The whole "you can't make me" thing reminds me so much of people who oppose gay marriage because they irrationally believe that it in some obscure and illogical way impacts upon their own conventional partnering. It doesn't. Get over it.

Same with pronouns. Be a jerk, or don't be: it's your choice. But if you choose the former, I'll be exercising my right to call you one,

Edited by Scylla Rhiadra
Why do I post anything before noon?
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I don't have any preferred pronouns in RL or SL, and I identify as non-binary IRL. People will use whichever they feel makes sense, and I'm okay with that. I've had people use both female and male pronouns IRL too--depending on how I've presented myself, and having a somewhat "androgynous" voice. Whether jokingly, or seriously, I cannot be certain, because my ASD gets in the way of interpreting things. I take things literally, and don't get "jokes", 75% of the time. In either case, I'm not fazed. 

 

Edited by Nastasha Szaberwick
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29 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Same with pronouns. Be a jerk, or don't be: it's your choice. But if you choose the former, I'll be exercising my right to call you one,

There are few things more abusive than not allowing another to define themselves, to have a name. I can only believe the insensitivity shown in the other deleted thread is because many lack understanding. It was a bit much for me really...I almost left the forum because of it.
'Proper speech' more important than treating others humanely? And unproven paranoia surrounding the loss of free speech on a grand scale via allowing a few disadvantaged individuals to have a freaking name? Really? 

I didn't know much about this Jordan Peterson person who seems to have crystalized the debate around it a few years ago, creating the backlash from hell, but since then did some research:
https://medium.com/s/story/a-field-guide-to-jordan-petersons-political-arguments-312153eac99a

Edited by Luna Bliss
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I am a female in both worlds so I use she/her. I will call people by whatever they ask to be called. Scylla and Beth said it better, but I also can’t think of any good reason not to call people by what they prefer to be called. 

So Gopi, are you bored and trying to liven things up around here? I remember the way a similar-ish thread went. 🤔😄

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I’m female and present female and prefer female pronouns. I use the pronouns that best fit with how someone is presenting to me or the ones they prefer, if they have told me. I get confused if the pronouns are fluid for a person though and I will mess that up, but it is not intentional, I still try. I’ve never experienced gender dysphoria but I have heard the raw pain in those who have. If using a certain pronoun mitigates even an iota of that for anyone, I’m always glad to do it.

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