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What does an SL relationship mean to you?


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On 12/14/2019 at 6:01 AM, Drake1 Nightfire said:

 The third one actually showed up at my house

W...T....F.... That's so stalkerish. I'm glad you got that sorted out. Terrifying which is why I keep my RL as private as possible. I've put my RL in a bubble no one can touch and will die trying. That includes dating. As hard as it can be sometimes, (we've all met someone special. Don't deny it :P ) I try not to date in SL because I know the person behind that avatar has real emotions too and I don't want to play with them.  

 

On a more lighter note SL has helped me combat my social awkwardness. It has helped soften my heart up to people and it has helped expand my mind and taught me to be a little less selfish. I'd be lost without it 🤣 🥰

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I am of those who keep RL and SL separate. I have no desire to meet someone here who will be a part of my RL beyond interactions within SL. I have met someone who has the exact same boundaries as I do

In the 1990s there was a British sitcom called Goodnight Sweetheart. The main character, Garry Sparrow, found a time portal which took him back to 1940s London. He was able to travel between the two,

SL relationships are full time relationships to me. period I didn't look for one specifically when I joined but I have had the opportunity of meeting the right man for me at the right time.

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My SL relationship is having a friend and lover in SL to spend time.  Even though We might talk about RL we are not going to connect in RL.  My SL relationships isnt something I would ever do in RL.  For example I do not have open relationships in RL or have sex with multiple partners 

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To me, my SL friends are real, and are part of my RL; actually, I've met the closet ones in RL

When it comes to romantic relations, I was briefly involved at the beginning with someone and somehow it was transferred to RL, but more like a friendship, since he was already married and we both lived in different countries.

After that, I met my RL partner and became a couple also inworld. He knew of SL and helped him create an avi, although he's never been an avid player. Living with him, and having the life we've built together, I could never be with anyone else in SL. But that is just my personal experience.

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On 12/12/2019 at 3:53 PM, Orwar said:

     If I find the right girl in SL some day, I may well go through a marriage ... A dark, epic marriage that will be more akin to a funeral, with possible hints of Devil worship and ritualistic sac-- I mean. The cake is going to be awesome, black and baroque! And I already have a collection of hearses to serve as the carriage!

 

Years ago, 2007-2008, I ran a wedding business in SL.  My favorite all time wedding was like this.  It was a 3 way lesbian vampire wedding.  I had a demon perform the ceremony in a dark baroque cathedral.  I wish I could find pictures of the ceremony.  They were lost in a HD crash.  I have no idea if any of the ladies are still in SL. 

On another note, when meeting with couples to plan weddings I'd get hit on by the groom every other time. It was kind of depressing and one reason I stopped doing weddings. 

My own relationship will be 13 years this next weekend.  We keep it SL only but of course we do talk about RL things.  She's my best friend and I love her dearly.  We live in different time zones (and continents) 7 hours apart but it's worth the effort to be together.

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Well mine at the moment is off at school but I actually met him on imvu and converted him to SL a few months before he had to go focus on his RL. We are RL as we talk all the time on the phone and on discord and msg each other daily.  ( So he's around even if his pixels are not ) We do things too when he has time like movies and the like. I have known this man for 12 years and I do see it going beyond the internet and we hope to meet up this summer. 

My horror story relationship is on imvu and will probably stay there ( I hope ) where he's nuts and repeatedly threatened to come down to the states ( he's in Canada ) and blow my brains out because I walked away from his toxic, cheating, Narc ass.  And yes I did report all of it screens and all to the Police. 

Relationships online are wild cards.... honestly I hope this one lands where I want it to :3 

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I found this discussion very interesting. 3 years ago I was in a very particular moment, sentimentally, I needed to "go out", I had read about SL but I had not immediately given importance ... then I entered. What is love for me in SL? I think it all depends on our family and cultural backgraound. I tend to have an exclusive relationship as a couple, but I'm not jealous, if I trust my partner I can't be. I have boundaries, I don't want a partner who enters completely in my RL, but that everything that happens in sl remains in sl. I've been "married" for two and a half years, he is like me, we don't want RL contamination, but after a long time he knows something about me RL, even a photo of me, and I something about him, but only what he wants to tell me . We are doing well. We complete ourselves, I crazy and passionate Italian he from the States a little grumpy and serious but who supports me in everything. I know of people who have moved from an SL relationship to a concrete RL, but it is not my case or that of my husband, but never say never ....
We all know that in RL we are not these statuesque maidens and our charming men Gods fallen from the sky, but this does not matter, at least for me as it is inside, the richness of the heart and feelings. After all, this is what we are looking for ... or not?

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interesting reading the various posts on this subject and of course SL relationships mean different things to different people.

I have been in sl for over 10 years and over that time i have seen different types of relationships, some good many not so good, in as mush as they develop at a very fast rate and just as fast they dissolve.

However i can only really comment on my own relationship, which i have had in sl for 9 years, the key to our long relationship has always been communication, making sure that we understand what each wants, being response to changing needs and treating each other with respect.

One of the key factors to our long relationship in sl is that we have an open relationship, this was very much a mutually agreed decision and one made with an understanding of what ou relationship is and being very secure in it.

We have seen many couples who come from an insecure base with their relationship and as a result trust gets eroded and suspicion and concern that one partner may leave to be with someone else they meet.

While you may be thinking that an open relationship in sl means that one is just looking to get their rocks off with someone esle and remain in the relationship....for us this is not the case, although of course this is a factor it is not the only factor.

We had seen many relationships dissolve due to one partner being on less than the other yet expect the partner who is on to effectively not socialise or leave their sim, in our experience this just does not work, people have to be given the freedom to explore and to do things in sl when alone, when you are both on you spend time together.

Again this comes back to trust and feeling secure, there should be no issue for your partner to do what they will with others, it makes for a more complete and fulfilled experience.

That being said, again this is about communication and setting expectations at the beginning of the relationship and when i mean at the beginning i do mean at the beginning, as clinical as this may seem, like a prenup, it is a way to determine comparability and to determine clear boundaries and to assess if this is the relationship you really want.

Many people come together only to find out they have different expectations which they have kept to themselves which for many can result in a very difficult and hurtful end.

So why place this post and what is it i am wanting to really say.....well here it is

  1. When you meet someone you like and consider a more formal relationship in SL, have the conversation and assess what that looks like
  2. Ongoing communication, relationships can become stale very quickly, have these conversations, are you happy, is there anything we would like to change or try.
  3. Take it slowly, for the right person it is worth it
  4. lastly, start your relationship with trust, it is easy to be cynical and to think all people will cheat or lie, however while some may end that way, do not start with this in your mind

well that is some of my thoughts on the subject, for what it is worth

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16 hours ago, shane Foresight said:

interesting reading the various posts on this subject and of course SL relationships mean different things to different people.

Copy/pasted comment in no less that seven separate threads. Delegitimizes what you say in terms of thoughtful commentary.

TL;DR: No reason to read past the first sentence.

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I've been with Madison in SL since 2011, so we're coming up on 9 years together. She is truly my best friend, not just in SL but in RL too, even though we have never met and probably never will, given the distance and the cost of travel. We're both happily married in RL so turning our SL relationship to a RL one has never been a goal for either of us, and we both know one another well enough to know that if we did live together we'd drive one another completely crazy. 

But I still love her as deeply as I love my RL partner and we've been through such a lot together. Madison and my club are the only two things that keep me logging in at all these days.

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   In the beginning, and after my intensely shy wallflower phase, the relationships I developed were simple friendships, interactions with other adults when I was alone at home with my kids a lot. Soon, and before I actually realized it, they became cultural explorations, learning from people about the different places in the world they lived. This was all chaotically interspersed with learning about building, making textures, and scripting, also with help from some of them. Throughout, I began to become more readily social, in spite of my introverted nature.

   Later, after some liberating changes in my life, both unexpected and pleasant, my relationships were allowed to become more intimate. I discovered then that what some of them meant to me, was an opportunity to begin exploring aspects of myself that had been hidden (mostly) during my earlier life.

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My sl relationships are more just akin to friendships. Most of the time we don't communicate or do anything outside of sl. I do have a few that are closer and we actually do talk a little out of sl. But other then those most anyone else I meet is just an acquaintance and treated as such. It takes a lot for me to trust someone enough to call them a friend.

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On 12/11/2019 at 12:46 PM, BelindaN said:

In the 1990s there was a British sitcom called Goodnight Sweetheart. The main character, Garry Sparrow, found a time portal which took him back to 1940s London. He was able to travel between the two, and he made a relationship with a girl he met in the past. He also had a relationship in his present day life.

You can now do this literally.
My sim 'Time Portal' allows you to travel back to 1940s London during the Blitz.

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8 hours ago, iamyourneighbour said:

As much as my last fart meant to me unless I am collecting money from them

You collecting money from you fart? 🤔

Teach me master. 💵💸💵💸💵🤑💰🤑

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Personally I keep SL and RL separate. To me SL is sort of a "projection" of myself. Meaning that yes, I do take things seriously here. Whether it's friendship, or romantical relationships. That being said, I am here go relax, have fun, indulge in whatever I feel like indulging in. It is, in a way, a break from the routines most of us have in RL.

I tend to be very passionate and immersive in everything I do in SL, both various activities as well as friendships and romantic/sexual relationships/flings. That said, of course I don't mind sharing parts of my RL, or hear about others, that's a natural progression as we get to know eachother. But my focus will always be on SL, and the things I/we do here.

Of course anything can happen, deep connections forming over time are possible. But if I go in with the PURPOSE of finding an RL partner, then I will go on Tinder or some other RL-datingsite, not to SL.

My two cents 🙂

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Second Life Relationships with a virtual heart that be reprogrammed OR the truth, with a heart living in both worlds. Been there done that, been the bad guy, been the better guy. Been dominant and submissive in relationships. I have played and been played. It does not mean i didnt love these partners, because i did. My heart is my heart, regardless of what universe i choose to live in. Its just fact.

But never in a million years would i have thought i would meet my now RL Wife in a virtual world. I did meet her and i travelled to the otherside of the planet to meet her aswell. I took a huge risk, but in my story it turned out to be the best decesion i ever made.

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