Who in SL has impacted your RL the most?

[Tolya Ugajin]

So, my post this morning about writing your own obituary seems to have squicked a few people out, so I'll try something a bit more positive.

Share with everyone who in SL has had a major impact in your RL, changed you as a person, and how/why?

I have 3 examples:

1:  My SL partner, whom I shall be marrying in RL in a few months.  The why should be self-explanatory

2:  Scylla Rhiadra:  This one is a little less obvious.  Scylla and I are pretty far apart on most political and social issues (at least we were years ago) and one day she challenged my stance on abortion rights by arguing for them mostly from a conservative (ie. my) point of view.  She made me realize that I had established positions on important issues without a sound foundation of values and beliefs from which to logically establish consistent and valid opinions.  As a result I reexamined the fundamentals of my beliefs and drew some very different conclusions on positions on several subjects, and any time I come across some new controversial subject, I follow that process rather than taking a knee-jerk "well, good little conservatives take this position" stance.

3:  I forget his name, actually - I think it was Pep or something like that, used hang in the old Forums a lot.  Anyway, he was fun to argue with and taught me the value of googling anything you weren't 100% sure of, especially the meanings of words or proper grammar, a habit I now follow religiously in RL, calling out in a sportscaster voice, "Let's go to Google!".  I now look a lot smarter than when I totally misused "penultimate".

[Pussycat Catnap]

There's a club in SL called 'Irie Vibes' that used to be a full sim affair run by someone very different than it is now. That original club owner had a notecard by a landing point on 'what is reggae and rastafari'. I can't remember the original name of the card or it's exact contents... but I grabbed it one day... and reading that card put a lot of things together for me about the truth of my spirituality that led me to realize I was Rasta.

No one ever converts to Rasta. You realize you always were, or you never are. That notecard woke me up.

I've traveled many journeys and tried many things in SL. Some of them wild departures from my RL nature... Even now most of what I do in SL is radically opposite from my RL; a space where I explore inwardly. But that one thing cycled back to my RL. I have no idea who wrote that card - but that's who influenced my RL the most.

 

[Garnet Psaltery]

Congratulations on your forthcoming marriage, @Tolya Ugajin.  

I have two examples:-

1)  My oldest friend in SL with whom I'm still in touch has proved a loyal RL friend though we've never met.  We've helped each other out and kept each other going through the worst of times.

2)  Some people I met while I was an official SL Mentor helped me get the first RL job I'd had since falling ill years previously.  The job was demanding though mostly fun, and it gave me a certain perspective about this world.  I got fired the next year but then I wasn't 'a good fit'.  

Edited December 7, 2019 by Garnet Psaltery

[Ceka Cianci]

If I had to choose,I would say all my friends from other countries that broke a lot of the myths and stereotypes and information that movies and media and people in general, put in my head when i was younger about other countries..

Things made much more sense getting both sides of the stories..hehehehe

As I get older it gets much easier to see the Forrest through crap

 

[Cindy Evanier]

That is easy for me to answer.  My partner.  We met almost 11 years ago.  His first day in SL, my first month.  Back then if anyone had told me I would develop such strong feelings for someone on the internet I would have laughed in their face.  Yet here we are after all this time.  

Impacts have been everything from adjusting our RL/SL  schedules in order to spend the most time possible together.   When I got ill he was the first person I reached out to by text to say I was in hospital.  He was a rugby fan but my impact on him has been to turn him into an avid Liverpool football supporter   We watch the football together.  He has introduced me to a lot of music I didn't realise I loved.  (I have failed to have the same impact on him 🙄)  when we talk about a subject he is very good at questioning WHY do I have a particular opinion on something and has on occasion been able to completely change my mind.   I could go on and on.  I love this man 

[LyricalBookworm]

I have two people in SL who have made such a huge and positive impact in my RL.

My hubby: I met him almost a year ago now when I wasn't even looking for a relationship in either world. He found me and we've never been apart since he found me. He has been quite simply a champ. Finding out everything that is wrong with me hasn't phased him at all. I was terrified when I slowly opened up to him that he would run in the other direction, but he has just pulled me closer to him which has been humbling in the extreme. He doesn't care that I'm only 42 and cannot walk at times and need my wheelchair. His response was that since I'm so tiny, he can just carry me everywhere. He just keeps telling me how beautiful, adorable and sweet I am. When my body is attacking itself through the nerves and muscles and I feel like crying because of the pain, he does his best to make me laugh and smile. He listens to my ranting, my frustrations and fears. When I'm really sick, he makes sure that I get plenty of rest, reminds me to eat and reassures me that he loves me unconditionally. He not only says that, but he shows it all the time with his patience and kindness. He has become more protective the more I've revealed to him about my rl things that make life debilitating at times. In the next few years I will be moving to be with him. I never thought I had a soul mate in this world, and I certainly never thought he was in SL. I found him though and I'm head over heels in love with him. He is the most incredible man I've ever met besides my Dad. That is saying a whole lot. While most others around me aren't sure how to treat me, he treats me like I'm me. I'm so proud to have this man in my life for the rest of my life.

My sister Andromeda: I've known her going on nine years. Her and I met when I had first moved onto her residential sim and she saw me calming down a tenant in group chat who was throwing a temper tantrum. Her and I got to chatting and she has been my best friend in both worlds ever since. She is essentially a kindred spirit. We are one another's Anne and Diana. I don't have a blood family in rl because my adopted dad was pretty much all I had. When he passed on ten years ago, I was alone. Andromeda has adopted me as her little sister into her family in both worlds. She has been the main source of emotional and moral support for me in so many ways. I love her without question and unconditionally. She is just wonderful. She has given me the courage to accept myself although it is really hard at times. Through going almost completely deaf over the last few years and being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Disorder, PTSD and DID (unfortunately there are more, but I won't go into details). She has just been there to keep reminding me that it isn't my fault for what is wrong with me and that I'm still the same person. I need reminding of that through constant pain and anguish that is at times unavoidable dealing with things. She is just beautiful and she will be my sister and my very best friend for the rest of my life. She has accepted me into her life without question and for that I'm eternally thankful. Having her in my life has made my life beautiful by her mere existence. She now calls her residential sim our "family residential sim" because we all take part in helping her and the residents there. I was honored to become her personal assistant.

Sorry for the novels....

[Scylla Rhiadra]

9 hours ago, Tolya Ugajin said:

2:  Scylla Rhiadra:  This one is a little less obvious.  Scylla and I are pretty far apart on most political and social issues (at least we were years ago) and one day she challenged my stance on abortion rights by arguing for them mostly from a conservative (ie. my) point of view.  She made me realize that I had established positions on important issues without a sound foundation of values and beliefs from which to logically establish consistent and valid opinions.  As a result I reexamined the fundamentals of my beliefs and drew some very different conclusions on positions on several subjects, and any time I come across some new controversial subject, I follow that process rather than taking a knee-jerk "well, good little conservatives take this position" stance.

You've said such nice things about me, that I'm going to forgive you for putting me on the same list as Pep. At least I come before him.

The esteem is mutual, Tolya, and for mostly the same reasons. I came here -- specifically, to the forums -- because I wanted to have discussions about things that I thought were important and interesting. And I wanted to learn, but I don't think I really knew how to accomplish that. You helped me discover how. Most invaluably, you not merely undertook to teach me a deeper and more nuanced understanding of things that I merely thought I comprehended, but also demonstrated that it was not merely possible but actually necessary to engage with people who come from a very different perspective. It is the greatest disease of our age, maybe, that we no longer talk to each other, but instead speak over those with whom we disagree; I very much fear that the infection will prove fatal. You, through your generosity, wit and humour, and openness, have given me a bit of hope, in part because you've helped me be more open to other ways of thinking. You've made me a better learner than I was, and much less of an ideologue. So yes, I owe you a great deal. (And it's lovely seeing you back here again.)

There are too many others in SL to whom I owe thanks for their influence to list here, but I need to mention @Madelaine McMasters (and, I suppose, Snugs). Like Tolya, but in a different way, Maddy has opened my eyes to different vistas on the world, and helped guide me to a broader and fuller understanding of the complexity of the world. I have been steeped in the arts and the humanities from a very early age: who'd have thunk that my best friend in SL would be a math- and physics-loving engineer? I don't know that we'd have ever met in RL, because we move in such different milieus, but one of the joys of SL is that it can, maybe, help one break through the comfortable and complacent little bubble with which we all shield ourselves from difference.

[Maitimo]

For me it has to be Greville Oh, the owner of Chiaroscuro and organiser of Fantasy Gay Pride, which celebrated its 10th anniversary in 2019. I've known him for two years now.

Despite suffering from a number of disabilities and chronic health conditions, Grev works harder than even any able-bodied person I know. Not just in SL, but in RL too, where he works as an advocate for disadvantaged adults; helping them navigate the UK's very complicated legal and benefits systems. He is truly an inspiration to me.

[CaerolleClaudel]

For me it would be the first person I really fell for and was with in SL, who suddenly left. Pretty pathetic, but I had a bunch of RL therapy sessions over her. Oh, and actually sent her money IRL. I did that a fair amount back in the day, but sent her way more than the others (I have a suspicion that is why she left SL, I got wind she was scamming people). So, double pathetic, lol.

On the positive side, several people over the years have made me feel better IRL while I was engaged with them in SL, and put me in a better mood in general IRL. The person who does that best is my SL sister, who is also my Bloodline Liege and Queen, even though I have not participated in the clan for a really long time. She is older and has a lot of health problems, and SL is a big social outlet for her. She lives in a coastal village in England, and I love to hear her talk about her life and children. Iszie is just a lovely, caring person. I sit and smile the whole time I am talking with her, it reminds me of thing in a movie or something where a guy would call this cafe in Paris and have them just lay the phone down so he could hear the atmosphere of the place. He would sit and smile and soak it up, it was almost like being there. I tell Iszie that if I ever win the lottery I am going to come and visit her and experience her village (though I may need a translator, lol...I have done voice with her, and can barely understand what she says ).

[Lindal Kidd]

I keep coming back to this thread.  I feel like I should say something, but then I think, "if I mention THIS person, then a lot of other people are going to feel slighted."  Also, I've mostly kept SL very separated from RL, and that's limited the "impact" that even my closest SL friends have had on my real life, even the ones who have occupied quite a lot of my thoughts and feelings.

I will say that a number of people, some of whom have already been mentioned (Scylla, and Maddy!) have been, and are, very important to me...even if I've only met them here in the Forums and not in world.  And I will add @Maureen Boccaccio.  I met Maureen in the Forums, and then in world.  She often carried the tag, "Delightfully Curious", and I found that to be an accurate description.  Maureen is always upbeat and cheerful and is the most positive and accepting person I've ever met.  When we discovered that we worked in the same city, she agreed to meet me for lunch.  I found her to be amazingly like her SL self, both in personality and appearance.  We got together for lunch and gab sessions several times after that first encounter.

(I remember Pep too!  What an aggravating person...but always fun to argue with.  I still think Storm Clarence is Pep's alt.)

[CaerolleClaudel]

11 hours ago, Tolya Ugajin said:

3:  I forget his name, actually - I think it was Pep or something like that, used hang in the old Forums a lot.  Anyway, he was fun to argue with and taught me the value of googling anything you weren't 100% sure of, especially the meanings of words or proper grammar, a habit I now follow religiously in RL, calling out in a sportscaster voice, "Let's go to Google!".  I now look a lot smarter than when I totally misused "penultimate".

I just hope you don't literally misuse the word literally a million times a day.

[Chic Aeon]

There was a guy.

Learned a lot.

No regrets.

 

[LittleMe Jewell]

There were a couple of guys, early on, that led me down the path of temptation.  Profound impact on my RL, though not necessarily in a good way.  Nuf said.

@Brenda Connolly and @Chris Norse - The two founders of The Forum Cartel inworld group.  That group and the inworld hangout gave me my first batch of real friends in SL.  That has led to a few RL chats and meetups.  I'll forever be grateful to that group and those two for starting it.  And I miss Chris a whole lot.

 

[Scylla Rhiadra]

1 hour ago, Lindal Kidd said:

I will say that a number of people, some of whom have already been mentioned (Scylla, and Maddy!) have been, and are, very important to me...even if I've only met them here in the Forums and not in world.  And I will add @Maureen Boccaccio.  I met Maureen in the Forums, and then in world.  She often carried the tag, "Delightfully Curious", and I found that to be an accurate description.  Maureen is always upbeat and cheerful and is the most positive and accepting person I've ever met.  When we discovered that we worked in the same city, she agreed to meet me for lunch.  I found her to be amazingly like her SL self, both in personality and appearance.  We got together for lunch and gab sessions several times after that first encounter.

Mo is wonderful: I'm so glad she's still around, even if not as often as she once was. Generally, everyone from the old Forum Cartel group, including definitely you, are among the more important reasons I stuck around.

1 hour ago, Lindal Kidd said:

(I remember Pep too!  What an aggravating person...but always fun to argue with.  I still think Storm Clarence is Pep's alt.)

"Aggravating" is the nice, non-four-letter word for Pep. Eventually, LL decided he was so "aggravating" that he got perma-booted. He did come back for a number of years later on a succession of alts, of course, but as for Storm, although he was a great friend of Pep, he's definitely his own man.

13 minutes ago, LittleMe Jewell said:

And I miss Chris a whole lot.

Me too. Chris was one of the first people to make me feel really welcome on the forums, despite disagreeing with probably pretty much everything I said. He was a great friend.

I bumped into Brenda, quite by accident, while shopping a few months ago. It was nice to see her!

[Beth Macbain]

Without a doubt, my first real partner in SL, my darling Hugh. He had to leave SL several years ago, but he still holds a gargantuan piece of my heart and always will. Until him, I never really made any connections with anyone in SL. I just sort of floated from place to place but never put down roots. 

More recently, though, and this is going to come across as brown-nosing in the supreme, but it's true. @Patch Linden has changed my Second Life in about a billion ways. Bellisseria is his brain-child and his passion. It's weird to say that simply moving someplace in SL changed everything for me, but it really did. In all my years of SL, I had really only experienced the adult side of things. It's why I came to SL, and why I stayed, and is something I will always defend but moving to Bellisseria showed me a completely different side that I didn't even know existed. Everything changed for me... everything. It has shown me how to have fun in Second Life with clothes on! It's brought dear friends into my world. One very special gentleman friend. Bellisseria made the entire grid feel fresh and new for me, and in a way, was a brand new beginning for me. I have two parcels on Bellisseria now, and am looking forward to a third when the Victorians are released. In addition to that, I fell in love with the mainland, someplace I'd never really even visited before. Now I own a big parcel on the Atoll and drives trains and ride horses and have real roots in SL by owning land. 

Absolutely none of that would have happened if it wasn't for Patch thinking one day, "Huh, maybe we should build a new continent with brand new Linden Homes and make it like a community..." or something along those lines. In my opinion, he is unquestionably LL's biggest asset, and I do hope @Ebbe Linden and the board realize what an absolute treasure he is. He has bridged the gap between residents and staff by being absolutely approachable in ways that used to be discouraged under a previous CEO. His love of Second Life is infectious and delightful, and his openness to listening to residents and taking their ideas seriously is so needed and valued, both to me and to many others.

I could gush about him for pages, but I'll leave it there. Thank you, Patch, for everything you've done, and continue to do, for SL and us residents! YOU are such an incredible asset to LL and I adore you. ❤️

[Ivanova Shostakovich]

   This is a good thread, but Oh... there are so many people who have impacted my SL. As reclusive and introverted as I have sometimes been, they still managed to find me.

   GoSpeed
   Gina
   Peter
   Nissa
   Samba
   Nasty
   Ima
   Maddy
   Tre
   Alicia
   Savannah
   Dirk
   YadNi
   Rika
   Selina
   Trinity
   Aimee
   Hoff

   

   You all taught me about myself. Some of you taught me to be more tolerant than I already was. A few of you taught me that sometimes the best response to something with which I disagree is silence.

   Anyone who sees their name here and doesn't remember why, you probably didn't know, but you helped me.

   If you don't see your name here and you think it should be here... Rest assured, you've impacted my SL, almost certainly in a positive way.
   
   

Edited December 7, 2019 by Ivanova Shostakovich
Because single space is tricky to achieve.

[Pamela Galli]

Mesh had been introduced and I had to learn it or go out of business (my full time job), but I could barely get through the simplest Blender tutorials. Then I met Nacy in the forums. I PMed her one day when a forum lunatic attacked her, and we got to talking. Turned out she had been teaching herself Blender for several years, and offered to help me. And boy did she — she even made video tutorials to teach specific things I needed help with. She always says it was mutual — I taught her things about Style and perseverance. (She had not fully realized furniture can be sexy.)
 

My best work is really our best work, but Nacy steadfastly and adamantly refused credit of any kind. But I give it anyway when the opportunity arises, because she didn’t just save my job, but kept a roof over the heads of the five family members who depended on my income. 
 

Nacy doesn’t log in often any more but we keep in touch because I don’t know anybody I have as much in common with as her. I just wish she lived next door.

Edited December 7, 2019 by Pamela Galli

[LittleMe Jewell]

1 hour ago, Beth Macbain said:

Without a doubt, my first real partner in SL, my darling Hugh. He had to leave SL several years ago, but he still holds a gargantuan piece of my heart and always will. Until him, I never really made any connections with anyone in SL. I just sort of floated from place to place but never put down roots. 

More recently, though, and this is going to come across as brown-nosing in the supreme, but it's true. @Patch Linden has changed my Second Life in about a billion ways. Bellisseria is his brain-child and his passion. It's weird to say that simply moving someplace in SL changed everything for me, but it really did. In all my years of SL, I had really only experienced the adult side of things. It's why I came to SL, and why I stayed, and is something I will always defend but moving to Bellisseria showed me a completely different side that I didn't even know existed. Everything changed for me... everything. It has shown me how to have fun in Second Life with clothes on! It's brought dear friends into my world. One very special gentleman friend. Bellisseria made the entire grid feel fresh and new for me, and in a way, was a brand new beginning for me. I have two parcels on Bellisseria now, and am looking forward to a third when the Victorians are released. In addition to that, I fell in love with the mainland, someplace I'd never really even visited before. Now I own a big parcel on the Atoll and drives trains and ride horses and have real roots in SL by owning land. 

Absolutely none of that would have happened if it wasn't for Patch thinking one day, "Huh, maybe we should build a new continent with brand new Linden Homes and make it like a community..." or something along those lines. In my opinion, he is unquestionably LL's biggest asset, and I do hope @Ebbe Linden and the board realize what an absolute treasure he is. He has bridged the gap between residents and staff by being absolutely approachable in ways that used to be discouraged under a previous CEO. His love of Second Life is infectious and delightful, and his openness to listening to residents and taking their ideas seriously is so needed and valued, both to me and to many others.

I could gush about him for pages, but I'll leave it there. Thank you, Patch, for everything you've done, and continue to do, for SL and us residents! YOU are such an incredible asset to LL and I adore you. ❤️

This is so true.  I honestly don't use my Linden Homes a lot, but the very creation of Bellisseria, from the first day that someone spotted SSP regions, has given me a renewed interest in these forums - and for me, these forums are a huge part of my life, both in SL and RL.  

So, thank you, @Patch Linden and the Moles and the rest of LL that made all of this possible.

Edited December 7, 2019 by LittleMe Jewell

[CaerolleClaudel]

3 hours ago, Pamela Galli said:

Mesh had been introduced and I had to learn it or go out of business (my full time job), but I could barely get through the simplest Blender tutorials. Then I met Nacy in the forums. I PMed her one day when a forum lunatic attacked her, and we got to talking. Turned out she had been teaching herself Blender for several years, and offered to help me. And boy did she — she even made video tutorials to teach specific things I needed help with. She always says it was mutual — I taught her things about Style and perseverance. (She had not fully realized furniture can be sexy.)

My best work is really our best work, but Nacy steadfastly and adamantly refused credit of any kind. But I give it anyway when the opportunity arises, because she didn’t just save my job, but kept a roof over the heads of the five family members who depended on my income. 

Nacy doesn’t log in often any more but we keep in touch because I don’t know anybody I have as much in common with as her. I just wish she lived next door.

This is just so sweet, thanks for sharing!

[Clarre Marques]

20 hours ago, Tolya Ugajin said:

2:  Scylla Rhiadra:  This one is a little less obvious.  Scylla and I are pretty far apart on most political and social issues (at least we were years ago) and one day she challenged my stance on abortion rights by arguing for them mostly from a conservative (ie. my) point of view.  She made me realize that I had established positions on important issues without a sound foundation of values and beliefs from which to logically establish consistent and valid opinions.  As a result I reexamined the fundamentals of my beliefs and drew some very different conclusions on positions on several subjects, and any time I come across some new controversial subject, I follow that process rather than taking a knee-jerk "well, good little conservatives take this position" stance.

 

Scylla is ROYALTY to me, and I read every syllable I can find of hers and that is something I enjoy doing in my RL.  
She changed my idea of what online debate can be; what forums are actually good for; why it’s worth showing up. 
Hi Scylla!  Look at you, changing lives and minds and views everywhere you go.  I hope you feel as good as you make others feel.

Great topic, Tolya. 

[Scylla Rhiadra]

3 minutes ago, Clarrellae said:

[incredibly nice and largely undeserved things that I'm embarrassed to quote]

/me blushes

Clarrellae, thank you. You're a complete sweetheart, and you've totally made my day.

I just like being here, and talking with the lovely people who make up this forum. It's really as simple as that.

🙂

[Pamela Galli]

52 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

 

 

I just like being here, and talking with the lovely people who make up this forum. It's really as simple as that.

🙂

This is true of most regulars. This is why I do not like to hear people barge in here and right off the bat start slinging insults about how horrible regulars are. It is simply not true. We have a nice little community!

[Adam Spark]

My girl Ari, as she is my world in every sense of the word.

Too many others to mention. I tend to not think of SL and RL as separate. To impact my SL is to impact my RL

[Tolya Ugajin]

10 hours ago, CaerolleClaudel said:

I just hope you don't literally misuse the word literally a million times a day.

"Literally" is literally a word I spank people for misusing

[Tolya Ugajin]

12 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

. It is the greatest disease of our age, maybe, that we no longer talk to each other, but instead speak over those with whom we disagree; I very much fear that the infection will prove fatal.

While reading a book a second, third or fourth time may be entertaining, one seldom learns much from it after the first reading.

My deep thought of the night. 

/me raises his glass of red and salutes you.

I probably enjoyed Pep because in a lot of ways he's quite a bit like me.  I'm surprised he got banned, but towards the end of my time hanging in the forums he was getting more combative than argumentative.

Did Chris pass away?  I'd heard he was ill.  He was a real gentleman.