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2 minutes ago, BelindaN said:

love the smell of books

   Books shouldn't smell. It's a sign of something being wrong; it's either mold or lignin - a substance found in wood pulp which is what is causing post-1800 books to turn into brittle, yellowed cakes that fall asunder if you look at them the wrong way. Unless it's the scent of smoke or nicotine, which means that someone in the past has done the books serious harm. If it's the smell of leather, that's okay.

   The use of wood pulp is largely considered the greatest challenge for book and paper conservators today, as it's irreversible, and that despite gargantuan amount of resources, of time and money, that has been spent trying to find a solution - ranging from picking the books apart to bathe the individual pages in various pH-neutralizing agents, to fuming them - in a century or so, we're going to have a 200+ year gap in the world's book and document collections, unless a viable solution is found. Whilst we do make archival paper out of chemical wood pulp these days, we don't actually know how well they will last. Important documents and books should always be printed on paper made from textile fiber, with archival ink - books made 500 years ago still have pages as brightly white as the day they were printed, with colours more vibrant than LED monitors (and gold leaf illuminations!). Of course, back then a lot of the ink used was acidic instead, and that eats through the pages ... Meh, we'll learn, eventually. Stable pigments (like soot, i.e. pure carbon) with stable binders (shellac is nice and also gives it a nice sheen) on paper made from lint lasts at least 5 times as long as the modern stuff.

    ... Or we'll save it all on hard drives, 'cause no one ever lost anything important that was stored on a hard drive, right?

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Absolutely broken.  I have just had confirmation that my wonderful, amazing,  perfectly imperfect partner lost his battle with cancer this morning.  We almost made it to 11 years in this mad crazy wor

My dad passed away today, in his sleep, at the hospice. I'm in that shock phase now, numb and unable to think.

So, quick update number 2...  My daughter is negative for covid-19!!! the super quarantine is lifted and we can go grocery shopping! Back to your regularly scheduled bickering.. 

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2 hours ago, Orwar said:

   I only made one of the endbands today. I decided to anchor it in every section, so I had to stop to count the pages all the time. Of course, as I get to the end of it, I find that I'm a page short, so apparently some of the anchorings aren't actually in the sections' centers. Oh well. Could have made the other endband now, but since we just had a Yule lunch, I've decided not to move another inch today.

image.png.741346eed46eea9981dab3d946b0e439.png

   And yes, the edge is supposed to be rough, and yes, that does make the endband appear more irregular - it's on purpose!

That is incredibly aesthetically pleasing to me. Just lovely.

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2 hours ago, Orwar said:

   Books shouldn't smell. It's a sign of something being wrong; it's either mold or lignin - a substance found in wood pulp which is what is causing post-1800 books to turn into brittle, yellowed cakes that fall asunder if you look at them the wrong way. Unless it's the scent of smoke or nicotine, which means that someone in the past has done the books serious harm. If it's the smell of leather, that's okay.

   The use of wood pulp is largely considered the greatest challenge for book and paper conservators today, as it's irreversible, and that despite gargantuan amount of resources, of time and money, that has been spent trying to find a solution - ranging from picking the books apart to bathe the individual pages in various pH-neutralizing agents, to fuming them - in a century or so, we're going to have a 200+ year gap in the world's book and document collections, unless a viable solution is found. Whilst we do make archival paper out of chemical wood pulp these days, we don't actually know how well they will last. Important documents and books should always be printed on paper made from textile fiber, with archival ink - books made 500 years ago still have pages as brightly white as the day they were printed, with colours more vibrant than LED monitors (and gold leaf illuminations!). Of course, back then a lot of the ink used was acidic instead, and that eats through the pages ... Meh, we'll learn, eventually. Stable pigments (like soot, i.e. pure carbon) with stable binders (shellac is nice and also gives it a nice sheen) on paper made from lint lasts at least 5 times as long as the modern stuff.

    ... Or we'll save it all on hard drives, 'cause no one ever lost anything important that was stored on a hard drive, right?

... moans ...

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I'm in an aggravated mood today. I have to work tonight at another freaking holiday party for rich people where I have to smile and say "Merry Christmas!" AND I have to wear a dress which meant I had to shave my legs this morning (it's winter and I live alone - screw that) AND wear full make up. 

I know it won't be that big of a deal once I get there. I know most of the people, and it's only 2 hours, and it's being catered by one of my favorite restaurants. It's just the idea of having to be there when I'd rather be home in my pajamas. 

My dad's birthday is in a couple days as well. I lost Mom in 2008 and Dad in 2017. I was incredibly close to both of them. Mom was my best friend and I survived that. For some reason, I thought that it would be a bit easier when I lost Dad but it was so much worse. I think it was the realization that I suddenly had no parents - the reality of being an adult orphan. It was more than just mourning - it was terror. I've never felt so completely alone in the world, even with a ton of siblings and other relatives and friends. Being an orphan, even at age 50, sucks. 

Anyway... at least it's Thursday. 

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4 hours ago, BelindaN said:

Just to up the mood..... I was at the dentist having a crown fitted. So the mouthful of plastic, and the injections. I hate the one in the roof of my mouth. So he's almost done and is reshaping the crown to fit, when, under his breath he says.......and right in my ear.... "Oh *****!"

My immediate thought was...

"Oh *****!" :)

Note: a word starting with S, ending in T.

Oh *****! I do hope it was only a little oops and one that he could fix.  This is why I like to be heavily sedated at the dentist's office.  I'd rather not be too aware of what is going on.   I'm sure my anxiety does nothing to help the situation and the best thing I can do is lie back and let them have at it.

Edited by kali Wylder
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4 minutes ago, Beth Macbain said:

I think it was the realization that I suddenly had no parents - the reality of being an adult orphan. It was more than just mourning - it was terror.

100%  with you on that and add to that I was adopted I feel abandoned all over again.  It might not be logical but its what I feel.  I had the best adopted parents/family anyone could ever wish for but deep down is always that never ending feeling that if my real mother could carry me to term and not feel any reason to keep me, why would i be good enough for anyone else? 

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8 hours ago, BelindaN said:

I'd like to lighten the mood, but life is a terminal condition, and we all go through the mincer at times. And the more love you put in, the more grief comes out.

My Mother is on a terminal slide right now. We haven't had the sweetest relationship. She was a spoilt child who became a bully. And with an entourage if guys in tow over time.... y'know....blonde, good looking etc etc. 

But when the chips were down she was always there. A rock in adversity. Who knows when she will go. You never see it coming. But the clock is ticking.

But much more important I think is the downward slide of a parent, ***feels***, my Dad is also on the slide and it's not an easy thing.  We've had our ups and downs, but I try to remember most of all the love we share. The ups, the downs, the drama, doesn't matter anymore. I just try to be present for him from 3,000 miles away.

Edited by kali Wylder
cuz my comment got mixed up in the quote
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21 minutes ago, Orwar said:

   Because I'm still in recovery after yesterday's Beth and Amina trying to get me to kiss Seicher. 😁

QXd5Cpj.gif?noredirect

Wait. Wut? You have to recover from the mere thought of someone trying to get you to kiss me? Gawddemmit, I swear my armpits do not stink!

I've got some words for "how are you feeling today?" now.

mutters "I wouldn't kiss you now if someone paid me 7000 prims to do it..."

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1 minute ago, Seicher Rae said:

Wait. Wut? You have to recover from the mere thought of someone trying to get you to kiss me? Gawddemmit, I swear my armpits do not stink!

I've got some words for "how are you feeling today?" now.

   No, not because of that.

   ... Because of this. It's stuck!

 

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14 minutes ago, Garnet Psaltery said:

You lost your anchor, but you'll find one, best of all in yourself.  Gods, that sounds drippy but it's true.

It took some time to wrap my head around it, but I'm my own anchor now. I have others that I can use for life buoys, but all in all, I rely on myself and it turns out I'm pretty good at it! 🙂

(It did take a therapist to tell me to give myself a break, though, before I quit trying to force perfection when it's impossible to attain.)

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1 minute ago, roseelvira said:

Anxious about rl monday ,,, tired and trying to stay brave ,,,,and more testing tomarrow ,,,,  hugs to all ,,, Beth ,,, i need more tissues ,,,  hugs hug  hugs

Been thinking about you, lady! 

I know what you're going through, and I won't tell your story because it's not mine to tell, but know that I'm here for you, and I'm sure everyone else feels the same. We got you if you need to cry, or yell, or throw things, or need someone to hand you extra tissues, or hugs, or just to squeeze your hand and remind you how strong you are! 

Please remember to do some self-care while this is all going on! You can't take care of anyone else if you don't take care of yourself first!

...big giant squishy hugs...

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