Jump to content
Beth Macbain

How are you feeling today?

Recommended Posts

4 hours ago, Seicher Rae said:

So, like, I have this bad habit of checking my email first thing in the morning, while I drink my morning coffee. This can be a good or bad thing. Today it is going to set my mood to: more depression. I'm so worked up about the SL relationship that is, at *best* on hold right now due to COVID-19 and the change it caused in availability (see earlier post), that I "worried" off all of my fingernails to the quick and so of course from that brilliance my fingers hurt. That was how I went to bed last night.

This morning I got the new determination for my food stamp allotment. Because I moved and have a new rent, they have to refigure the amount. That's normal. That's even reasonable. I don't like to talk specifics on money, but for those of you who aren't familiar with the system let me blow off some steam and rant a moment.

My disability income is *below* the official poverty level of $12,760/year for one person. BELOW that. Yeah, when I say I'm poor, I ain't joking. The MOST a single person can get from food stamps is $194/month. That's less than $50/week. That does NOT include things like toilet paper (should you be able to find it), dish soap, vitamins or my box o'wine. It is FOOD, period, which does include vegetable seeds for home gardening...I'm disabled and live in an apartment, but hey, the govt will pay for vegetable seeds. Yay? 

When was the last time you went shopping and could manage with less than $50/week? It can be done. I have done it. But... it ain't easy and you really do not get a good healthy diet. But still. That $194 *does* help.

So when I got the below-poverty-level disability decision, my monthly income was LESS THAN my rent. I wasn't living in a fancy place, it is just rents here are just unbelievably stupid. I was able to get rent assistance from the little town that I live in ... surprise, whew and yay! That assistance was based on many things, including me applying for subsidized housing. My food stamps had to be refigured because of that help from the town. Common sense would say "Still very poor" and needs food help, right? Nope. While I still qualified the Food Stamps went from $194 to $113.  mmmkay

My recent move put me into subsidized housing. My income hasn't changed but now my rent is income based and is 30% of my income. That helps tremendously. Not to mention that this place is much nicer than my other apartment, literally across the street. The recent move means another reconsideration for Food Stamps.

Today I learned that because my rent lowered, my Food Stamps have gone to... get this: $16/month. Hahahahahaha. I'm still under poverty level. I still have bills. But apparently I don't need to eat, or as they figure it, I'm so flush with cash now, on my very very low income (that's literally how it is referred to), that I just need $16 for the essentials.

The "good" news? I guess now I can go back to having my groceries delivered. My new apartment has steps that have to be navigated and due to my disability it is difficult and dangerous for me to carry things down stairs. Of course I checked Instacart and basically their website laughed at me for available delivery times.

So, my anxiety is through the roof right now, and my fingers hurt.

ETA: Instacart doesn't take Food Stamp payments, even though a lot of disabled people use their services (or would if they could). IKR? Amazon does take Food Stamps, but not from every state and of course, not from mine.

Oh, this broke my heart. I wish I could help. IS there something I can do? $16 a months???? NOBODY can live on that. Nobody. I mean, you'll be able to afford the grocery delivery, but not the groceries. SO much easier for the delivery person, of course. Seriously though....I don't know what to say. 

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
9 minutes ago, Arquet said:

Oh, this broke my heart. I wish I could help. IS there something I can do? $16 a months???? NOBODY can live on that. Nobody. I mean, you'll be able to afford the grocery delivery, but not the groceries. SO much easier for the delivery person, of course. Seriously though....I don't know what to say. 

Thank you. ♥ There really isn't anything anyone can do, that I know of. My situation is bad, but there are a lot of people out there with much worse ones. My apartment is newish and clean and pleasant. My bills are few because I basically don't do anything or go anywhere, but I do have a working car (2001 Mustang). 

Part of my rant was, well, just to rant. It IS frustrating and makes me anxious. The other part for the rant was to let people know. I'm smart, educated (without a degree but that is only because I was working on two at once and it took a while, then I got married). I grew up middle to upper middle class white and had a 6-figure income when I was married, a house in the SF Bay Area, etc. People think "those people" who are on Food Stamps or subsidized housing, or whatever... are "other." They must be stupid, lazy, drug addicts. Maybe it is a matter of race. A very "nice" Christian man who votes "red" from Ohio (when I lived there and was on unemployment and food stamps at the time) said to my face that he'd help me out because obviously I was different from the "other people" on unemployment and food stamps. He probably meant "you're white." Truth be told, there's a lot of "regular" folks on "welfare."

I get mad but I also laugh at the stereotypes of "we all just use the money to buy drugs and alcohol." Seriously? On the huge vats of cash we get? I wish I could buy drugs and alcohol, it would make my days easier! I splurge (lol) on a box of wine to last a month. :/ This from the chick who used to do wine tours/tastings/education in Napa. :)

Yes, you have to see the humor, too. I laughed at your joke about my deliveries being easier on the delivery person--no groceries, just the delivery fees. I'm also thinking about writing a diet book: Losing weight on $16 a month! :)

  • Like 7
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/18/2020 at 3:45 PM, Tarina Sewell said:

I got an email from them today, all is going as planned.  I wish IRS would have sent me my refund instead of taking it all to pay off a student loan I make payments on.... it's kinda fked up now the government is going to send me stimulus check. I would have settled for my refund.... ; ) but thank you for your words. ; )  I

Just saw this in the news and thought of your post:

"The Department of Education has announced plans to suspend the collection of student loan debt for at least 60 days, according to a press release. 
The department also announced plans to stop and return nearly $1.8 billion held by the U.S treasury in tax refunds and social security payments previously withheld from individuals who had defaulted on federal student loans."

  • Like 4
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Seicher Rae said:

... I'm also thinking about writing a diet book: Losing weight on $16 a month! :)

Maybe start a blog? You never know where it might lead. (Also some bloggers make a fair amount of money, though as far as I know it's definitely a long haul thing.)

  • Like 3
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

ok, here's a quick summary of how I am.  I'm a mess.  Unlike most everyone else I know except people at work, my work is relatively unchanged since the Covid Follies came to town.  It's very high stress, I have to make very quick decisions that tear me up inside and I have to meet a quota of cases every day. I work from home so the job has not changed significantly except to cancel the once a month in house day. But my mind is not with it.  I can't sleep at night so I'm very tired in the morning, and my plans to retire have had to go on hold because I can't sell my house while we are in lock down.  And all the little things that have gotten harder are getting to me like groceries and bills and filling prescriptions etc. And I am just losing it.  Getting short tempered which I dont' enjoy and I even snapped at Prok who of course snapped back louder and harder and made me feel bad, and so I wound up answering back again and I know better than to do this!  So, I've got a bad case of "the feels" and I'm not having fun.... ok, gotta go back to work and hit my quota....

  • Sad 10

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, kali Wylder said:

Getting short tempered which I dont' enjoy and I even snapped at Prok who of course snapped back louder and harder and made me feel bad, and so I wound up answering back again and I know better than to do this!

His singular reason for existing is to feel smug and superior to literally every single being on this planet. Welcome to the Slipped and Fell Down the Prok Rabbit Hole Club.

hugs

  • Like 3
  • Sad 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 hours ago, kali Wylder said:

ok, here's a quick summary of how I am.  I'm a mess.  Unlike most everyone else I know except people at work, my work is relatively unchanged since the Covid Follies came to town.  It's very high stress, I have to make very quick decisions that tear me up inside and I have to meet a quota of cases every day. I work from home so the job has not changed significantly except to cancel the once a month in house day. But my mind is not with it.  I can't sleep at night so I'm very tired in the morning, and my plans to retire have had to go on hold because I can't sell my house while we are in lock down.  And all the little things that have gotten harder are getting to me like groceries and bills and filling prescriptions etc. And I am just losing it.  Getting short tempered which I dont' enjoy and I even snapped at Prok who of course snapped back louder and harder and made me feel bad, and so I wound up answering back again and I know better than to do this!  So, I've got a bad case of "the feels" and I'm not having fun.... ok, gotta go back to work and hit my quota....

sending you millions of hugs...

it will pass, it will pass, it will pass.

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
17 hours ago, Marigold Devin said:

Isn't it very weird so far here in the UK? I am taking my usual exercise, the 1.6 mile walk between my home and that of my brother's. I cannot go back to living with him full-time because for sure the emergency services would be called out to clear the shards of us within a couple of weeks, and it's good that Boris is allowing us to get out for exercise.  

But the people I would normally pass on my walk between both places are mostly not greeting me with cheery hellos but are crossing over the street to maintain the two metres of distance. I still smile, wave, say hello, but this virus has made people act in very weird ways. But I am not offended - I like not having to engage in long conversations with some of these people, who have become quite clingy and needy - we all need to keep our distances if this virus is to stop from spreading.

How are you for toilet paper?

3am has been a good time for picking up Sainsbury's online slots bizarrely - to anyone in the UK this might be helpful - the three weeks calendar is usually completely blanked out, and then there have been a bunch of late availability slots for two days from whatever today is (if that makes any sense - losing my command of the English language as I have a head full of b*ll*cks right now really). So I guess the people who have been booking a time slot every single day and getting every member of their family to do the same thing, just suddenly must drop them all when they've selected the one slot they actually need. 

And the Co-op stores have staggered deliveries, so queuing first thing in the morning isn't the best way to go. I've been calling into one after 3pm and getting toilet rolls, bread, milk. Three cheers for the Co-op.

 

I'm good for toilet paper (and washing up liquid - also a scarce resource) for now. You? 

Good on you for managing to pick up a Sainsbury slot - all I get is the message they are "prioritising the vulnerable" (which is good, of course). I did try Ocado yesterday, they now have a queuing just to enter the website. My starting position was 33807. (Waiting wasn't much use anyway, because there were no delivery slots...)    

At least there's food in the local shops, which is something, but I'd much rather not buy in person (though I'll have to, and I'm grateful that I'm able to) because my paranoia about picking up the virus from an item that has been touched by an infected person if off the scale (sure if I don't touch my face I should be fine, but even know I sometimes find myself touching my face even before I realise I do). Deeeeeeep breath.

Al least it looks like tests are on the way on a mass scale, so at least we as a country will be able to measure the extent of the infection more accurately. 

  • Like 7

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, Beth Macbain said:

You know, it’s okay that some don’t like me, but to laugh at someone in distress is just grotesque.

This is about real life and keeping a roof over my head, food in the pantry, health insurance... 

I’m so disgusted and ... yeah, you got me, you monster. You hurt me by laughing at a terrible and frightening time of my life. You make me sick. 

I am going to play devils advocate here just because I know I have clicked a laugh by accident on posts (maybe not here) and then had to change it quickly and its because of my eyes or hand numbness issues that come and go.  I hope it was something like this and not a pattern by someone because that is a crappy thing to do to someone. 

 

  • Like 6
  • Sad 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Aye, @Marigold Devin  The view from Morningside, up here in Auld Reekie isn't so bad either. There are zero delivery slots from any place but my daily (well, used to be daily but I've cut it down to every two or three days) 2-3 miles exercise takes me past Waitrose, Tesco and Sainsburys and I can time it to their delivery and restock times if I'm careful. I can also, since I live an almost monastic lifestyle and can pretty much guarantee I haven't been exposed to the bug, make grocery runs for others in the tenement I live in or for my brother and sister-in-law down the road. They both work at the uni here and while my brother is an IT and research guy, so most of the campus never knows he even exists let alone meets him, sister-in-law has a job that involves meeting students, faculty and the public... So when she developed a cough and fever a week ago the both of them closed up the house and hung out the plague flag.

I'm a little more concerned for my mother who lives in a village on the edge of the Lake District where the local population is significantly older than the national average. She's well over 80, there are no shops in the village at all and - of course - no delivery slots available there either. Fortunately the local pub is also a fairly well-reputed restaurant in the area and while they are closed to diners they have made their catering supply channel available to the village - they take orders from the village, place the order with their restaurant suppliers  and hand 'em out the following day at cost plus a few quid per order. For stuff like milk and eggs there's local farms.

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm having aches all over but I think it's just an ME flare.  I have a bit of a cough but I get that anyway with traffic going by, and all the dust in here, so I'm keeping alert but not worrying.  I can't get to the shop like this but I still have a heap of supplies.  My life sucks less than many people's here.

  • Like 4
  • Sad 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, Cindy Evanier said:

I am going to play devils advocate here just because I know I have clicked a laugh by accident on posts (maybe not here) and then had to change it quickly and its because of my eyes or hand numbness issues that come and go.  I hope it was something like this and not a pattern by someone because that is a crappy thing to do to someone. 

 

I thought that, too, at first but then I saw who it was. This person has made it clear before that they don't like me. I don't know them, so whatever.

As far as my work, and I'm sure he'll be disappointed to hear this, but I'm being cut down to 3 days a week, and am able to use paid leave for the other 2 days, and none of it affects my insurance and benefits so I'm going to be just fine. 

Now pardon me for a few minutes while I do some cartwheels down the hall! 

  • Like 9

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, Da5id Weatherwax said:

I'm a little more concerned for my mother who lives in a village on the edge of the Lake District where the local population is significantly older than the national average. She's well over 80, there are no shops in the village at all and - of course - no delivery slots available there either

If your mum is on or can get on the official vunerable list on the government website,  I discovered last night when I attempted a Sainsburys delivery, you get priority booking slots.  I also discovered you can sign up on her behalf I think.  https://www.gov.uk/coronavirus-extremely-vulnerable   It might be of help for her anyway and maybe other stores are relying on this list

Edited by Cindy Evanier
  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just trying to throw a bit of light: it's been 20 days since this madness started in here, and so far, neither me nor anyone in my family is having any type of symptons, so there's hope even when everything around looks so dark. 

  • Like 3
  • Thanks 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Weird. I was back in work today and out of a department of 28 there are only 6 of us. A few are working from home but my department will be effectively closed after tomorrow.

 

  • Like 3
  • Sad 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)

I beliebe that 2018 was a year of my getting back to life:i found a very good SL job and found many nice SL friends.etc.For the all 2018 no matter what happend i felt alive,i felt like i rise. But then  end of January my old PC turn OFF nad i realise this is the end. I literally felt how my whole childhoos runs thought my childhood memories and i only see the dead big black box.and from start of 2019 i felt a big deep fall.I hontestly tries to get it back to life,srvice only said  that no reason to do so,this is not worth it to pay for 1-2 more years for it to be alive .Mother doeasnt gave a uck about that,but i felt  extremely a lot of pain,because my PC died just 2 months after my EX.Service guy said it was my PC time to die,but i feklt like 2019 starts for me as a hell,and i t was,because i was surviving from all that pain. You can think i m stupid ar anything like that., but i miss this uckin metal box which was my everything of my childhood.I put here the pic of what i was able to detach, becase why not

 

Also in SL, 2018 was for me getting new friends, feeling needed. And From 2019 and now my SL wokr have another person who do everything i was doing before and i m jusy useless

IMG_20200326_183655.jpg

Edited by Panteleeva
  • Like 4
  • Sad 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)

Yesterday, my Governor officially gave a Stay at Home order for the entire state, effective this morning.  Mostly I'm glad about this because I wasn't feeling comfortable with the piece-meal stuff that was going on before, with different areas having different rules.

The economic impact of this is scaring me more and more every day.  I KNOW that we need that stimulus package, but 2.2 TRILLION - Ugh.  And unemployment claims hit 3.3 MILLION last week, which is more than 4 times the previous record.  That is just the totals through last week - and we know that is going to continue to rise.

Edited by LittleMe Jewell
  • Like 5
  • Sad 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
15 hours ago, Beth Macbain said:
16 hours ago, kali Wylder said:

Getting short tempered which I dont' enjoy and I even snapped at Prok who of course snapped back louder and harder and made me feel bad, and so I wound up answering back again and I know better than to do this!

His singular reason for existing is to feel smug and superior to literally every single being on this planet. Welcome to the Slipped and Fell Down the Prok Rabbit Hole Club.

hugs

Ah, yes. Ye Olde PRH Club. *She* (btw) has been needlessly getting under people's collective skins since before Kali and I were on the old, old Forum. :) We of a certain :::cough::: age know better, but there are times, especially when grumpy and emotional, when the typing fingers get a hold of you. OK, if you don't slip all the way down the hole it can also be kinda amusing to poke the bear, but that is a rare thing and something to be undertaken with great care (and a bunch of wine).

I didn't poke that particular bear, but I'm also grumpy and emotional and so when some boor got under my skin in a very placid thread, yeah... sigh. It happens @kali Wylder.  And I just now read your profile and huh, you were Kattatonia? I had no idea. And yeah, despite the fuss and bother and general hysteria, alts aren't always all that. :::hugs:::

  • Like 3
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Next week will be OFF for everyone exept medicine workers and grocery workers.who will give a sh.t about quarantine?no one

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)

A thought just occurred to me. 

Those who forced me to be isolated when I was growing up and made sure I would remain isolated my entire life, karma is now biting you in the @$$. 

Enjoy!

Edited by Selene Gregoire
  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
9 minutes ago, Seicher Rae said:

Ah, yes. Ye Olde PRH Club. *She* (btw) has been needlessly getting under people's collective skins since before Kali and I were on the old, old Forum. :) We of a certain :::cough::: age know better, but there are times, especially when grumpy and emotional, when the typing fingers get a hold of you. OK, if you don't slip all the way down the hole it can also be kinda amusing to poke the bear, but that is a rare thing and something to be undertaken with great care (and a bunch of wine).

I didn't poke that particular bear, but I'm also grumpy and emotional and so when some boor got under my skin in a very placid thread, yeah... sigh. It happens @kali Wylder.  And I just now read your profile and huh, you were Kattatonia? I had no idea. And yeah, despite the fuss and bother and general hysteria, alts aren't always all that. :::hugs:::

Yeah, Kattatonia was my first av, named after my name in the old, old, old, deja newsgroup alt.support.depression.  So named because I felt catatonic and Katta is a diminutive of my rl name Kathleen.  I thought I'd mentioned who I was before.  Not a secret.  That first me was way too fragile, I prefer Kali, the Hindu goddess of change, death and destruction; she makes me feel strong. Hugs ya back!

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, Da5id Weatherwax said:

Aye, @Marigold Devin  The view from Morningside, up here in Auld Reekie isn't so bad either. There are zero delivery slots from any place but my daily (well, used to be daily but I've cut it down to every two or three days) 2-3 miles exercise takes me past Waitrose, Tesco and Sainsburys and I can time it to their delivery and restock times if I'm careful. I can also, since I live an almost monastic lifestyle and can pretty much guarantee I haven't been exposed to the bug, make grocery runs for others in the tenement I live in or for my brother and sister-in-law down the road. They both work at the uni here and while my brother is an IT and research guy, so most of the campus never knows he even exists let alone meets him, sister-in-law has a job that involves meeting students, faculty and the public... So when she developed a cough and fever a week ago the both of them closed up the house and hung out the plague flag.

I'm a little more concerned for my mother who lives in a village on the edge of the Lake District where the local population is significantly older than the national average. She's well over 80, there are no shops in the village at all and - of course - no delivery slots available there either. Fortunately the local pub is also a fairly well-reputed restaurant in the area and while they are closed to diners they have made their catering supply channel available to the village - they take orders from the village, place the order with their restaurant suppliers  and hand 'em out the following day at cost plus a few quid per order. For stuff like milk and eggs there's local farms.

This made me smile. Not only because you and yours seem to be doing ok, but for the descriptions. For a Yankee who grew up on PBS/BBC shows, your description sounds like the opening for some quaint period piece. :) One of my first SL relationships was with a guy from the south of England. I've remarked several times about his glorious baritone and his posh accent that just made me giggle every time I heard it because it was so palpably delicious. (It is a weakness of mine, don't judge!) He was describing some aspect of some town and I made some remark, and he got so frustrated with me, saying something like (American translation), "Oh ffs. Stop it. This is where I live! It isn't some scene out of an Agatha Christie movie! It isn't exotic; it is my home." Can't help it. We in 'murica all know y'all live like "Upstairs Downstairs."

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...